大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S03E02

Part 1 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:12 a.m.

Oh, I guarantee I can
我保证我能
identify my own butthole in a line up. 100%.
在屁♥眼♥识别中识别出我的屁♥眼♥ 绝对的
Even if it's just a close up line up of buttholes? Yeah.
即使是特写镜头的屁♥眼♥识别吗对
No way, dude. Come on. Completely, I can identify yours.
不可能姐们儿拜托没问题我还能识别出你的
Each one has a soul, an ass soul.
每一个屁♥眼♥都有一个灵魂屁♥股♥灵魂
Hey, mamis, where you going? A bra store?
妈咪们你们去哪胸罩商店吗
I bet you got those big boobies to feed all your babies.
你们波霸那么大一定是用来给你们所有的小孩哺乳
Excuse me?
你说什么
You can't talk to us like that.
你不能这样和我们说话
Yeah, we're your elders.
没错我们是你们的长辈
How did he know we were going to the bra store?
他怎么知道我们要去买♥♥胸罩
Why don't you come over here and let me touch 'em.
你们过来让我摸摸
Jesus.
天啊
The only way that you're gonna get to touch these boobs
想碰到这些奶♥子♥的唯一方式
is if they graze the top of your head
就是在老娘跨过你的竹竿身子去灌篮时
as I'm slam dunking your skinny ass!
奶♥子♥从你头上划过
So you wanna ball? Let's go.
想较量放马过来
No.
不要
Tell your mom you got schooled by two women.
跟你妈说你被两个女人教训了
Aw, yeah, bitches!
小婊♥子♥们继续嚣张啊
And reminder, I'll be by later to fuck the shit out of her.
还有我过会儿会去操翻她
What?
什么
Oh, what about this, huh?
这个怎么样
No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no!
别别别别别别
Hello? Good morning, everyone.
大家早上好
We open in five minutes.
我们将在五分钟后开店
This month's churron flavor is anise,
这个月马卡龙油条的口味是茴香
but there is a limit to three churrons per customer,
每位顾客至多只能购买♥♥3根马卡龙油条
so please maintain decorum.
所以请遵守礼节
Thank you.
谢谢
You know, I'm not even a huge macaroon girl,
我其实并没有特别喜欢马卡龙
and churros are just, like, you know, hit or miss for me,
西班牙油条对我来说就是可有可无
but the combination of... Too early.
不过它们合在一起大清早的
I'm being nice.
我是在表示友好
Okay.
好的
Your total is 28.45.
一共是28.45
Here's my co-op card.
这是我的合作社会员卡
It looks like you haven't completed any of your work hours.
好像你没有完成任何你的工时
Just throw 'em on my tab. I'm gonna knock 'em all out at once.
帮我记在账上就行我到时一次搞定
Okay, well, today's actually the last possible day
但今天实际上是你
you can complete your shifts for this moon cycle.
在这个月亮周期里能完成轮班的最后一天了
Um, I really can't today.
今天我真的不行
Could I speak to the manager?
我能和经理谈谈吗
I'm sure I could work something out.
应该能有解决办法
Um... sure.
当然
Just, um... one second.
稍等
Hi.
嗨
We have a slight, um, issue.
出了点小状况
Yeah?
什么事
Hi... Lori.
你好洛瑞
I haven't worked any of my hours.
我还没有完成任何我的工时
And I have a really intense doctor's appointment in Long Island.
我在长岛有个很重要的医生预约
There's something more important in Long Island than organic produce?
在长岛有比有机食品更重要的东西
For the privilege of membership,
因为享有会员特权
you just have to work six hours, you cooperate.
你只需工作6小时你参与合作
I am feeling this.
我也很想
But it just also happens to be the very last day
只是今天刚好也是我能做
I can have this... procedure.
这个程序的最后一天
Well, either you complete your shifts today
你要么今天完成你的轮班
or you're banished from
要么你就被
the co-op for the rest of your body's life.
合作社永久驱逐
Your choice.
决定权在你
There she is.
她在那
Ugh, gorgeous, come on.
是不是很正
Wow, how 'dat? So worth it.
好吃吗很值
Ugh, love your leggings.
喜欢你的紧身裤
And your legs. And your butt.
还有你的腿你的臀
Thank you so much. Really cute.
谢谢真的很可爱
You just made my day. Do you want one of these churrons?
你太让我开心了想吃点吉事果吗
Sure. Thanks so much.
当然谢谢了
Later, line buddy.
再见排友
That was sweet.
真有爱
It's okay.
一般般
I would have eaten that. Okay, so down to biz. Business.
你该给我吃的说正事
You know how I joined that food co-op a few months ago?
你知道几个月前我加入了那个食品合作社对吧
Uh, yeah, your meals have given me like the healthiest shits of my life.
知道你的食物让我的粪便健康无比
It's like, dump out, flawless,
大便完美
dump out, flawless.
大便完美
So, I haven't worked any hours yet, and I need to do them today.
我一点工时都没有做我需要今天完成
Obviously, I would do them, but...
我当然是想完成的但是
You're going to the doctor.
你得去见医生
Dude, I just said you're going to the doctor.
姐们儿我刚说你得去见医生
No, I can't think about it. Lifestyle.
不我不能想那事生活方式
Almost forgot.
差点忘了
Oh, yes, Gaga.
太好了 Gaga
Oh, my God.
天啊
So obviously, the three of us can't lose my membership,
显然我们三不能丢失会员资格
so I need you to cover my shift. I can cover for you.
所以我需要你帮我轮班没问题
But here da damn 'tang.
不过听好了
Not for me. As me.
不是为我而是作为我
Co-op members cannot share shifts,
合作社成员不能让他人代班
so technically you need to be me.
所以严格来说你得变为我
How's that gonna work?
那要怎么做
Well, no one knows me there yet. I...
还没人认识我我
haven't worked any of my hours.
从来没去工作过
But I need you to make the right first impression
不过我需要你搞好第一印象
so that when I do work, no one will know the difference.
这样到时我去的时候不会被识破
You know what, I would love to live a day in your shoes.
知道吗我还挺想体验一天你的生活的
That sounds really fun and very easy.
感觉很有意思也很简单
Not literally in my shoes, 'cause I'm a size five and you...
不能是真的穿我的鞋因为我穿5码的鞋而你
Yeah, I understand.
我懂的
Okay. I'm gonna just end it there.
好够了
Squashed 11!
你能把我的鞋穿成11码
More, more. More, more, more!
继续继续继续
Yas, queen.
太棒了女王
Yas, queen! Yas, queen!
太棒了女王太棒了女王
Yas, queen!
太棒了女王
Again! Yas, queen!
再来一次太棒了女王
Yas, queen. I'm not a dick!
太棒了女王我不是混♥蛋♥
Smell... smell a duke!
嗅到了一个公爵
Nice pussy bitch! Nice pussy bitch!
贱♥人♥阴♥部♥不错贱♥人♥阴♥部♥不错
I love you, Abbi!
我爱你艾比
I love you, Abbi!
我爱你艾比
Do it!
照着做
There you go, you're getting it!
不错有点样子了
There you go, you're getting it!
不错有点样子了
Aww, what up, my babies!
宝贝们你们好
Mami Lani in the hizzy-lee!
妈咪Lani回家了
Rape culture sucks!
强♥奸♥文化[将强♥奸♥正常化]太操蛋了
Recognize!
承认吧
Lincoln, hey, woo!
林肯
My Lincoln Towncar.
我的林肯城市车
But this is a... A Prius, right?
但这车是普锐斯[丰田]吧
Yeah, but I call it that because my name is Lincoln.
嗯我这么称呼它是因为我的名字是林肯[同名汽车品牌]
And I'm gonna drive around town in my car.
以及我要开车在城里转
You okay?
你还好吗
Sorry. I'm so nervous.
抱歉我太紧张了
Me too. You are?
我也是是吗
About something else.
不过紧张的是别的事
I brought you some comfort food. Turkey jerky.
我给你带了些放松身心的食物土耳其肉干