大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S03E10

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:16 a.m.

I wasn't joking.
我没开玩笑
The Mohel Chai club.
穆汉生活俱乐部
You know how Mohels suck baby dick?
你知道穆汉怎么吸婴儿鸡鸡吗
Wait, wait, what's a Mohel?
等等什么是穆汉
Honestly, are you Jewish?
老实说你是犹太人吗
You're not supposed to be on this trip if you're not.
如果不是的话你不就该来参加这次旅行
Dude, I'm sorry, what the fuck is a Mohel,
姐们儿抱歉到底什么是穆汉
and why are they sucking baby dick?
为什么他们要吸婴儿鸡鸡
A Mohel is the Jewish dude who performs the circumcisions.
穆汉就是施行割礼的犹太人
You know, like a-- a bris.
你懂的类似洗礼
So they don't do it in the hospital,
他们不在医院里做
so these rAbbis can do whatever they want.
所以这些拉比可以随心所欲
So they take the detached baby foreskin,
他们把分离后的婴儿包皮
and they roll it around in their mouths with wine.
和酒一起吞到嘴里
And then they suck the baby dick itself to stop the bleeding.
然后去吸婴儿鸡鸡来止血
What the fuck are you talking about?
你特么在说什么
Literally Judaism.
真实的犹太教
So at every bris, someone sucks a baby dick?
所以每次洗礼就有人吸婴儿鸡鸡吗
Only the most sacred ceremonies
只有在最神圣的仪式上
do we get to have the baby dick sucking.
才有吸婴儿鸡鸡
They get to have it?
他们可以这么做吗
Yeah, it's like, Christian people get the nilla wafer
对就像基♥督♥教里有蛋香酥脆香草饼干
And we get Like a sacrament.
而我们像一场圣礼
What?
什么
It's a wafer and when you take it in your mouth,
就是一块圣饼当你吃进嘴里
you let go of all your sins. All right.
你释放出你所有的罪恶好吧
It's actually like, a beautiful ceremony.
挺美的一个仪式
So we're going to Israel right now,
我们现在是要去以色列
and we're supposed to be Jewish.
我们应该是犹太人
Anyway, Mohel Chai club.
总之穆汉生活俱乐部
I want to suck a dick on this flight, babe!
我想在这航♥班♥上吃鸡鸡
An adult dick, obviously.
当然是成人鸡鸡
I can't believe that you want to suck a dick
不敢相信在你说了刚才那番话后
after everything that just came out of your mouth.
你还想吃鸡鸡
Something about doing it in the sky.
在空中吃太有诱惑了
Ilana, look!
阿♥拉♥娜看
Oh, my God, dude, this is a free movie!
天啊姐们儿这是免费电影
Maybe you are a Jew.
也许你是个犹太人
Look, look!
看看
His headphones!
他的耳机
You are dark, dude.
你真暗黑姐们儿
I know.
我知道
Shit, dude.
靠姐们儿
I just got my period.
我大姨妈来了
Okay, it's fine, I packed tampons.
没事我带了卫生棉条的
In my bag!
在我箱子里
Dude, what if you use my period pants?
姐们儿你用我的姨妈裤怎么样
For what?
干什么
I... I don't know.
我我不知道
It just figures because I packed, like,
一切都说得通了因为我打包了
every type of tampon I could find.
我能找到的所有类型的卫生棉条
It's all in my bag, under the plane.
都在飞机下我的箱子里
All right, woman up.
行了像个女人
Wad up a bunch of toilet paper and shove it up your pussy.
揉一团卫生纸塞到你阴♥道♥上面
Up?
上面?
Between the lips and the undies.
阴♥唇♥和内♥裤♥之间
Dude, it's the first day.
姐们儿这是第一天
Oof, first day.
第一天
That's like putting your spoon into a molten lava cake.
就像把勺子插♥进♥一块熔岩蛋糕
It's like the first bite of a jelly doughnut.
就像品尝果酱甜甜圈的第一口
It's like a side of chutney.
就像酸辣醬配菜
It's like fruit on the bottom.
就像水果放底部的酸奶
That's you right now.
就是现在的你
You ever seen that movie "The Impossible"?
你有看过电影《海啸奇迹》吗
Where that wall of tsunami water just, like,
一墙的海啸
gushes up onto the beach?
涌上海滩
Yikes.
好惨
I was just gonna say, that movie is so sad.
我是想说电影很伤感
Oh, yeah.
当然
I really need a fucking tampon.
我真的需要一根卫生棉条
Shit, the line for the bathroom is so long,
靠上厕所的人好多
Even if I did want to stick a wad up--
就算我想把卫生纸塞进
This must be what homeless women feel like.
这应该就是无家可归的女人的样子吧
Dude, we're just in coach, it's not that bad.
姐们儿我们只是在经济舱没那么糟
No, no.
不是
Like, how do they get tampons?
她们怎么获取卫生棉条
If you get a couple bucks,
如果你有几块钱
do you buy food or do you buy tampons?
你是买♥♥食物还是买♥♥卫生棉条
Tampons should be free.
卫生棉条应该免费
Every woman should have access to tampons, all different sizes.
每个女人都应该能获得卫生棉条不同型号♥的
And the only reason it's not that way
而没有这样的唯一原因
is because the government hates women.
是因为政♥府♥讨厌女人
This is true.
是的
Elbows in, sir.
请把手放进去先生
Here's a reunion story.
我给你说个同学聚会故事
Tell them your Beyonce's fourth-weekend nanny
告诉他们你是碧昂斯第四个周末的保姆
and that she loves you.
她爱你
I don't speak French.
我不会说法语
Can I get you anything?
你们需要点什么吗
Do you guys have any tampons I could--
你们有卫生棉条
So sorry, no, we don't.
抱歉没有
But we have soft drinks and food, for an additional charge.
不过我们有不含酒精的饮料和食物额外收费
Okay. You know what?
好吧这么着吧
Let's get something to distract from all of this.
我们买♥♥点能远离这一切的东西
We got a-- a kosher snack pack for two.
我们有犹太小吃双人套餐
How much is that? $38.
多少钱 38
Oh, okay. All right.
好吧好嘞
There's a lot of good stuff in there.
里面有很多好吃的东西
It's yummy, you'll love it.
很可口你们会喜欢的
All right, elbows in now.
把手放进去
Let's get this out of the way.
把这个拿开好了
I am loving your comfort despite the circumstances.
尽管状况多多但我喜欢你的舒适
Well, I'm currently sitting
我现在坐在
in a pool of my own uterine lining, so...
自己的子♥宫♥内膜中所以
I'm feeling pretty comfortable.
我感觉挺舒服的
Hey, hey, hey.
嘿嘿嘿
You know what you need to do?
你知道你该做什么吗
You need to tell them about all that money
你该跟他们讲你把所有钱都捐给
that you gave to charity.
慈善机构的事
Then I have to tell them that I had to ask for it all back
那我就必须跟他们讲我不得不去把钱要回来
'cause I'm addicted to online poker.
因为我沉迷于玩在线扑克
Okay, tell them about the bone marrow transplant that you gave me.
那你跟他们说你捐骨髓给我
You gave me a bone marrow transplant.
是你捐给我
Ooh, I forgot about that.
我都忘了
What?
什么
This was $38?
这要38
Dude.
姐们儿
Someone on this plane has got to have a tampon.
这飞机上肯定有人有卫生棉条
Yeah, you're right.
你说得对
Let's do this. Okay.
行动吧嗯
Do you guys have a tampon?
你们有卫生棉条吗
Absorbency...
吸收能力
Um, excuse me.
打扰下
Do you by any chance have a tampon?
有没有可能你刚好有卫生棉条
Oh, my goodness, no.
天啊没有
I'm flattered you asked,
我很荣幸你问了
even though many women my age do experience spotting.
尽管很多我这个年龄的女人确实会来大姨妈
I totally forgot about menopause.
我完全忘了绝经期了
Menopause isn't represented in mainstream media.
主流媒体里很少报道绝经期
Like, no one wants to talk about it.
没人想谈论它