大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S03E09

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:14 a.m.

I left my passport.
我忘带护照了
Okay, it's been 20 minutes.
已经过了20分钟了
How long does it take to move a fucking body off the tracks?
从轨道上移走一具尸体要多久啊
I'm sorry.
抱歉
Dude, I fucking hate myself.
姐们儿我讨厌死我自己了
I am so sorry I left my passport.
对不起我忘带护照
I'm a fucking baby grown-up.
我是个没长大的成年人
Do you have any tape?
你有胶带吗
Do I have any tape?
我有胶带没
Yeah, I have tape.
是的我有
A bunch of different kinds.
各种不同种类的
Really cute.
真可爱
Jesus, it stinks.
上帝啊臭死了
Bologna?
大红肠
Ugh, it's unbelievable, right?
不可理喻是不是
It is unbelievable.
是的不可理喻
So salty.
太咸了
Okay, so we're gonna get off at the next stop,
我们要在下一站下车
Uber to your apartment, and then book it to the airport.
坐优步到你家然后再坐到机场
Great, yes, all is good.
很好一切都好
All is not good!
一切都不好
It's like 9/11 all over again.
感觉就像911重演
It's 9/11 2!
911再现
Return of the 9/11s!
重回911时期
Oh! Oh, my God!
我的天
Okay, so if we don't move in the next 30 minutes,
所以如果地铁在接下来半小时还不启动的话
we have to have some sort of escape plan.
我们得想一个逃跑计划
You know, I once saw this documentary on Vimeo
有次我在Vimeo上看到一个纪录片
about these mole people who live down in the subway.
讲述生活在地铁里的鼹鼠人
I bet that they would help us.
他们肯定会帮助我们
We would probably just have to give them our shoes
我们多半只需要把我们的鞋给他们
and cut off a little bit of our hair, but...
再割一点我们的头发
We'll get new shoes.
我们可以买♥♥新鞋
Truly impressed with you at every turn.
总是被你厉害到
It's been 25 minutes!
已经过了25分钟了
And counting.
还没结束
Okay, I have a fun game. Okay.
我想到一个好玩的游戏说
Let's say we were stuck in a subway forever,
假设我们永远被困在地铁里
which is obviously not gonna happen.
当然这不可能
Okay. Who would we fuck?
好吧我们会上谁
Who would we marry? Who would we eat?
会嫁给谁会吃谁
All right, I can do that,
这个简单
'cause I feel like I know a bunch of the answers.
感觉我知道很多答案
Dude. Def him, "Mad men" Style.
姐们儿他绝对可以《广♥告♥狂人》风
Some real standard narrative bullshit.
真正的标准扯淡故事
Crusty old dude, hot young girl,
白人老顽固和性感年轻女子
and then I'd Abbi-Jeremy him to even it out.
然后我会以艾比·杰瑞米的方式干♥他♥来扯平
Peg.
用假鸡♥巴♥操
Okay.
好吧
Marriage material right there, you know?
那个是结婚的料子
Yeah. New Yorker.
嗯《纽约客》
Bet she could teach me a thing or two, like,
她肯定能教会我点什么比如
how to finish an article in the New Yorker.
怎么看完《纽约客》里的一篇文章
I think I would marry her.
我想我会嫁给她
Wiccan wedding.
巫术婚礼
First dance to Wicked Wisdom.
第一支舞跳邪恶智慧 [金属乐队]
Fist!
棒
Uhh, you know...
你知道
Okay, I would eat that baby.
我会吃那个婴儿
Is that terrible of me? No.
我是不是很坏不
I just would. No, it makes perfect sense.
我会的不很正常
She looks delicious.
她看着很可口
You would probably be sparing her a life
说不定你能让她避免度过
of tragedy and terror, living down in the subway.
悲剧恐怖居住在地铁里的一生
Plus, I feel like babies are, like,
而且我觉得就肉而言
the most delicious in terms of actual meat.
婴儿是最可口的
Desperate times. Calling for desperate measures.
非常时刻需要非常手段
And who are we to judge our post-apocalyptic selves?
我们又有什么资格评判天谴之后的自己
What part would you eat first?
你会先吃哪个部分
Which part is the most tender?
哪个部分最嫩
Probably like, the side or the butt.
可能是侧胸部或者屁♥股♥
Dude, let me try something.
姐们儿让我试件事
Stand up.
站起来
Okay.
好吧
Dear God.
亲爱的上帝
Please make this subway move.
请让这地铁动起来吧
Ilana, that's not how it works.
阿♥拉♥娜这样没用的
You can't just rub my butt, and the train--
搓我的屁♥股♥是不会让地铁
Oh my God, the power of the butt, bitch.
天啊屁♥股♥的威力婊♥子♥
I'm really happy we didn't have to eat the baby.
我很开心我们不用吃那婴儿了
Yeah. Happy.
嗯开心
Where are we, dude?
我们在哪儿姐们儿
It says we're on Sutphin Boulevard in Queens. Jesus christ!
上面说我们在皇后区的萨特芬大道上帝啊
Uber surge fare is 12.5.
优步收费激增了12.5倍
They really reel you in,
他们把你拉进去
and then they wring you fucking dry
然后用他们肮脏的爪子
with their grubby little paws right around your neck.
勒住你的脖子直到你没气
Then they make you type in the surge fare again,
接着他们让你再次在溢价费里输入
it's like, I know... I know what it is.
就像我知道我知道他们的小算盘
It is so rude. God.
太可恶了天
The ride estimator says it would be approximately...
估价表显示从这到格瓦纳斯
$1,200 from here to Gowanus back to JFK.
再到肯尼迪机场的预计费用为1200
I hate them. I love them, but I hate them.
我恨他们我爱他们但我恨他们
Oh, my God. This is a sign.
天这是征兆
Okay, we hotwire that cab,
好的我们利用电线启动出租车
drive ourselves within walking distance to JFK,
然后开到离肯尼迪机场较近的地方
soak it in gasoline, and torch it
往车里撒满汽油把车点燃
so they can't trace it-- let's go.
他们就没法追踪了我们走
I was gonna say maybe we could just
我是打算敲门问
knock on the door and see if they could drive us.
他们能不能开车把我们送过去
Oh, let's try that first.
那我们先试这个
Okay.
好
Hello. Hello, sir.
你好你好先生
I know that this is ridiculous,
我知道这很荒诞
but we would like to hire you to drive us in your taxi.
但我们想请你用你的出租车载我们
To a few destinations.
去一些地方
I couldn't be more off-duty.
我早下班了
Work is the worst, right? I get that, but listen,
上班最痛苦了是吧我懂的不过听我说
We would not be asking if it was not an emergency.
要不是这是紧急状况我们也不会来问
Please, we're over on our way to a really important trip,
拜托了我们准备去一次很重要的旅行
but I'm such a moron,
而我是个蠢货
I forgot my passport, so, I'm in trouble with the wife,
忘带护照所以老婆很生气
you can understand.
你懂的
And we can't find any cabs out here in the middle of nowhere.
在这鸟不拉屎的地方我们叫不到出租车
This beautiful neighborhood, it's gorgeous out here.
这漂亮的社区美极了
Quaint. Lovely, I might look at some
古色古香很美我也许会
So sweet. To buy or some I don't know, rent, whatever.
很惬意在这购买♥♥或租套房♥子什么的
Plus, there are good schools around here.
而且这里还有不少好学校
We are begging you.
求你了
We just need to get her passport
我们只需要去拿到她的护照
and then get to JFK, or we're gonna miss our flight
然后去肯尼迪机场不然我们会错过我们的航♥班♥
and the trip of a lifetime. Please.
和一生一次的旅行拜托了
How about...
来自
A crisp $100 bill from my bra?
我胸罩里的一张卷曲的100块怎么样
Okay.
好吧
All right, I guess we'll just--
看来我们只有
Let's roll.
上路吧
"Fast and furious" over here.
你是来自《速度与激♥情♥》的吧
How old are you?
多大了
15.
Okay, we're coming around the corner in five,