脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S02E13

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:31 p.m.

我不放古典乐他还不肯睡呢
He can't sleep unless I play classical music.
都是因为他太聪明了
It's because he's so intelligent.
你想抱抱他吗?
Do you want to hold him?
不想
No!
我是说我来告诉你大家凑钱帮你买♥♥了个水疗
I mean, I just came to tell you the whole gang sprang for a spa day for you!
因为你照顾这个新生的一点不邪恶的孩子肯定很累了
Because you must be so tired from taking care of a newborn, not evil baby.
我的确精疲力尽了
Oh, I am pretty worn out.
Donnie几乎把我的血都当午饭吃了
Donnie drank most of my blood for lunch.
正好Steve Denzel还有他们的朋友都等不及想照看Donnie了
Well, Steve and Denzel and their friend can't wait to take care of Donnie.
行吧让他们看几分钟还行
Well, maybe for a few minutes.
人家好激动
I'm so excited!
我都不敢相信凯特•阿普顿还兼♥职♥
I can't believe Kate Upton has a side business
泳装模特
做色情按♥摩♥以求圆♥满♥
where she gives erotic massages to completion.
对呀她随时都可能会到
Yep. She'll be here any minute.
你先放松
Just relax.
胶水
咱们先把你的大眼袋去掉
Let's get rid of those puffy bags under your eyes!
彩电
Darth: 星战角色
放马过来 Darth 你这黑杂种
Bring it on, Darth, you big black son of a bitch.
Luke 我是你亲爹
Luke, I am your Daddy.
不会吧等下你说真的吗 Bobby?
No. Wait. Are you serious, Bobby?
老子宰了你宰了你 - 去你的
I'm a kill you! I'm a kill you! - [Bleep] You!
放开我放开我
Get off me! Get off me!
这绝对比那些垃圾前传好看多了
This is definitely better than those horrible prequels.
我都拉出来又坐回去了 - 别吵
Oh! I'm prairie dogging. - Quiet!
Luke正要把Anakin的鼻子咬下来呢
Luke's about to bite Anakin's nose off.
这一大坨我拉出来连金•卡戴珊看了都想跟它结婚
Oh, I gotta take a shit so big Kim Kardashian may try to marry it.
美国社会名流娱乐界名媛
我一定得逃出这鬼地方
I gotta get outta here.
就这点人?
This is it?
凭你们四个就想阻止我?
You four think you can stop me?
别听他的他擅长用谎言让我们内讧
Don't listen to him. He'll use his lies to try to make us turn on each other.
牧师骂你怂逼呢 - 什么?
The preacher said you're a pussy. - What?
你发什么神经? - 就像这样
What's wrong with you? - Like that.
这就是被恶魔蛊惑的绝佳例子
That's a good example of what we shouldn't let him do.
趁现在偷笑吧魔鬼别吓死你
Oh, laugh now, antichrist. Because surprise!
我们组了一支驱魔梦之队
We've assembled an exorcism dream team!
Quinn神父
Father Quinn!
讽剌天主教神父娈童
我要跟这孩子单独待一会儿
I'm going to need to be alone with the child.
你们没有摄像头什么的吧?
You don't have a nanny cam, right?
Maltzman教士 - 不用不用
Rabbi Maltzman! - No, no.
你就呆着别动魔鬼安逸地呆在原位就好
You stay in there, demon. As long as you're comfortable.
我一路从布鲁克林跋涉过来但甭担心我
I schlepped all the way here from Brooklyn. But don't worry about me.
还有Kuzniak巫医
And Witch Doctor Kuzniak!
咱们真幸运我医科大学是在海地上的
Lucky for us, I went to medical school in Haiti.
还有Jorge 把《驱魔人》看了7遍半还让我们用他的车
And Jorge, who's seen The Exorcist seven 1 2 times and let us use his car.
我不是和他们一伙的我是你这边的
I'm not with them! I'm on your side!
Jorge 闭嘴
Jorge, shut up.
拜托让我出♥卖♥♥♥我的灵魂吧
Come on, let me sell you my soul.
《心灵捕手》主演《蝙蝠侠VS超人》中饰演蝙蝠侠
你让我签什么本•阿弗莱克签过的合约我都签什么都行
I'll sign whatever contract Ben Affleck signed. Whatever!
我还打算接受挑战呢
I was up for a challenge.
这阵容未免也太小菜了
This is going to be far too easy.
以耶稣的力量驱逐你
The power of Christ compels you!
以耶稣的力量驱逐你
The power of Christ compels you!
闭嘴
Shut up.
接下来谁想来决定我♥干♥掉剩下人的方式?
So who wants to choose how I will kill the rest of you?
口♥交♥致死? - 就这样
Blowjobbed to death? - You got it.
放狂暴的地狱猎犬
By rabid hell hounds.
咱们走起...
And here we...
我要去点评网站给凯特•阿普顿写个差评
I'm going to write Kate Upton a not-so-nice Yelp review.
Ethel 这特么是在干嘛?
Ethel, what the hell's going on here?
我们在给你的疯狂魔鬼宝宝驱魔
We're doing an exorcism on your crazy-ass devil baby!
我们差点就要享上口♥活♥了你却蹦出来了
And we almost got blowjobs, until you showed up!
Connie 我们得相信上帝
Connie, we've got to trust the Lord.
正如他在圣经里所说
Just like it say in the Bible.
如果驱魔仪式进展不顺利
If the exorcism don't go so bueno
就把那天杀的小孩扔到火山里
throw that goddamn baby in a volcano.
什么? 不
What? No!
抱歉 Connie 这是阻止末日降临的唯一办法了
Sorry, Connie, but it's the only way to stop the apocalypse.
这儿有座火山你该觉得幸运
You're lucky we got a volcano right here.
大多数有恶魔宝宝的人都得自掏腰包买♥♥机票去夏威夷
Most people with devil babies gotta pay for a plane ticket to Hawaii.
去你们的别怕 Donnie
Screw you guys! Come on, Donnie.
妈妈会保护你的我发誓
I'll protect you, I promise!
抓住她那宝宝还欠咱们口♥活♥呢
Get her! That baby owes us blowjobs!
♪ 带着萌宝宝快快跑 ♪
♪ Run away with cute baby! ♪
♪ 他们要杀我的萌宝宝 ♪
♪ They're trying to kill my cute baby! ♪
♪ 萌萌萌萌 ♪
♪ Cute, cute, cute, cute. ♪
♪ 擦擦擦擦 ♪
♪ Shit, shit, shit, shit! ♪
我打赌他们绝不会发现我在火山顶上
I bet they'll never find me here at the top of the volcano.
诶我擦
Ah, crap.
快把孩子扔进去吧 Connie
You've got to throw the baby in, Connie.
他是魔鬼 - 绝不
He's the Devil! - Never!
Donnie绝对是个正常孩子
Donnie is a perfectly normal baby!
妈咪? - 咋了宝贝儿?
Mom? - What is it, honey?
有件难以启齿的事我想告诉你我是...
I've got something that's kind of hard for me to tell you. I'm...
同性恋? - 不是我是撒旦之子
Gay? - No, I'm the Son of Satan.
真是松了一口气 - 我还怕你会...
Oh, that's a relief. - I was afraid you'd...
怒发冲冠把你扔进火山吗?
Get mad and throw you in a volcano?
Donnie 不管你是什么我都会爱你
Donnie, I love you no matter what you are.
我是你妈妈呀
I'm your mother.
Connie 他刚告诉你他是撒旦之子啊
Connie, he just told you he's Satan's son!
你怎么回事姐们儿?
What does it take, lady?
让我来
I got this.
哎呦我怎么能让宝宝和妈咪分离呢?
Aw. How could I separate a Mama and her baby?
像这样
Like this!
不要
No!
好吧我们接下来这么办
Okay, here's what happened.
其实书上写着不要把恶魔宝宝扔进火山
It actually says here, do not throw a devil baby in a volcano.
不要
Do not.
好吧我招了这书上压根没字儿
Okay, I'm gonna be honest. Ain't no words in this book.
该死 Vernon
Damn it, Vernon!
永远别轻信酗蛇毒的人
Never listen to a man drunk on snake venom.
正如这本圣经所说
Just like it say right here in the Bible.
让末日降临吧
Let the apocalypse begin!
哎呦擦
Oh, shit!
不对不对不对
No, no, no!
我说了先阴♥道♥再阴♥户♥
I said, put it in her cooter, then her pooter.
好了
There!
谢了梅干大人我们应该没事了
Thank you, prunes. I think we're okay.
好吧看来脆莓比我之前预想的还能再多混一季了
Oh, well. Brickleberry last more season than I thought it would.
无路可逃了伙计们
I guess this is it, guys.
Denzel 有件事我要向你坦白
Denzel, I have something to confess.
几周前我吃了你一块奇巧饼干
I ate one of your Kit Kats a couple of weeks ago.
我们扯平了我上了你奶奶
Oh, we even. I [Bleep] Your grandmother.
Ethel 我有事要说我可能给你做了几次不必要的盆腔检查
Ethel, I have to confess. I may have given you a few unnecessary pelvic exams.
我俱乐部里的脱衣舞娘都有JJ
Every stripper in my club has a dong.
包括我生日那天给我手♥淫♥的那个?
Even the one that gave me a tug job on my birthday?
尤其是那个她的最大了
Especially that one! Hoo! She's got a biggy!
我爱你们大家
I love you guys.
Donald Sutherland Cunaman
Donald Sutherland Cunaman!
你以为你在干什么年轻人?
What do you think you're doing, young man?
我养你不是让你来毁灭世界的
I did not raise you to end creation!
妈咪 - 你给我停下立刻马上
Mom! - You cut it out, right now!
你让我在朋友面前难堪了
You're embarrassing me in front of my friends!
如果他们仅仅因为你能带来末日而喜欢你
Well, if they only like you because you're causing the apocalypse
那他们就不是真朋友不是吗?
they're not real friends, are they?
妈咪 - 我数到三
Mom! - I'm going to count to three.
一... 二...
One... two...
好吧算了
Fine! Whatever!
抱歉大家我妈太无聊了