脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S02E05

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:31 p.m.

Well, I never. - Excuse me, that's my wife.
是吗? 那还是我哥们呢
Oh, yeah? Well, that's my best friend.
哦耶你个骚货
Oh, yeah, you dirty.
真不错小伙子挺卖♥♥力的
That's nice, what you're doing there.
说实话吧 Steve 我知道你是装的
I want the truth, Steve, because I know you're faking it.
没有装我对天发誓
No, I'm not. I swear to God.
知道吗我在丛林里的时候做过些非常不体面的事情
You know, when I was in the jungle, I did a few things I wasn't very proud of.
严格说来 Steven 我可是个战犯
Technically, Steven, I'm a war criminal.
我闪啦
Gotta roll.
不要啊 Woody 你要干嘛?
No, Woody, what are you doing?
知道不这招可是"日内瓦公约"严令禁止的
You know, this was banned by the Geneva Convention.
你可真是条硬汉子 Steve
You're a tough son of a bitch, Steve.
要是Abu Nazir 早就哭鼻子了
I would've had Abu Nazir crying by now.
美剧《国土安全》里的恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
只能使最后一招了
Time for my last option.
我滴天啊停下来 Woody 你要干什么?
Oh, my God, Woody, stop. What are you doing?
去他♥娘♥的♥诉讼你俩别想再讹我的银子了
Screw this court case. You're not gonna steal any more of my money.
不起来就给我下去
You get up or you go down!
三...
Three...
二...
Two...
二点五...
Two and a half...
一走你
One! Walk!
好啦 Steve
Okay, Steve!
现在我信你啦
Now I believe you!
我还活着
I'm still alive.
我居然还活着等下
I can't believe I'm still Ali... wait.
真是见神仙了
Well, I'll be damned.
赛百味的两元打折券
$2 off a Subway Footlong!
过期了
It's expired.
至少我又能走道儿了
Well, at least I can walk again.
该死路都不会走了 Steve还敢迟到?!
God damn it, how can Steve run late when he can't even walk?
早上好呀律师先生
Good morning, counselor.
话说告云霄飞车把我整残废咱能捞到多少银子?
So how much money are we gonna make off me being hurt on that roller coaster, eh?
全打水漂了你会走了? 搞毛啊
Nothing now. You can walk? What the hell?
是啦此外还能来这个
Oh, yeah. And I can do this.
就让你干好一件事就让你干好一件事啊
You had one thing to do. You had one thing to do.
保持瘫痪你丫怎么就能搞砸的?
Stay paralyzed. How'd you [Bleep] that up?
我知道操蛋透了又得自己擦屁♥股♥了
I know, it sucks. I've got to wipe my own ass again.
庭审十分钟后就开始了你给我瘫痪起来
The trial's in ten minutes. I need you to be paralyzed.
等我
Hold on.
这招绝对不行这货跟我半毛都不像
We'll never get away with it. He looks nothing like me.
好吧
Okay.
Steve 坐稳了别给我动
Steve, sit down and don't move.
你可必须纹丝儿不动不许演砸了
You have to stay perfectly still. Do not blow this.
我去这货还配柠檬汁包呢
Whoa, this guy's got a lemonade bag.
赚咯
Score!
陪审团
委托人宣过誓了
The litigants have been sworn in.
Malloy先生你和你的委托人向Woody Johnson提出索赔
Mr. Malloy, you and your client are suing Woody Johnson for moneys
原因是其未能完善脆莓公园的残疾人无障碍设施
that he owes to complete the handicap-accessible renovations to Brickleberry Park.
及造成的痛苦和精神损失我看怎么说的
And for pain and suffering caused by, and I quote...
"看他那张肥流油的操蛋脸"
"Looking at his big, fat, [Bleeped] up face".
反对法官大人
Objection, your honor.
请录像证明我的脸既不肥也不操蛋
Let the record show that my face is neither fat nor [Bleeped] up.
反对无效两点都说对了先生
Objection overruled. It is both, Sir.
请问 Kuzniak医生作为专业医师
Now, Dr. Kuzniak, as a medical professional
您认为这次云霄飞车之旅能否造成人员瘫痪?
would you say that this amusement ride could actually paralyze someone?
根本不会啦
Oh, not at all.
其实吧我觉得口♥活♥逍遥屋还蛮刺♥激♥呢
Actually, I find The Blowjobber to be quite stimulating.
我都玩过九次了
I went on it nine times.
咱今儿来不是探讨你接到口♥活♥的
Uh, we're not here to talk about you getting blow jobs.
等一下是说你能接口♥活♥?
Wait a minute. You can get blow jobs?
Denzel 作为黑人你对非法活动可谓了如指掌
Denzel, as a black man, you're familiar with illegal activities.
请问你会...
Would you say that...
法官大人这让我情何以堪
Your honor, I can't continue with this.
Jackson先生你是闹哪样?
Mr. Jackson, what is going on?
你懂的乐子呗
Oh, you know, fun.
先生需要我判你藐视法庭么?
Sir, do I have to hold you in contempt?
没事啦人家朋友可是瘸子
It's all right. His friend's a cripple.
真抱歉先生请继续
I'm sorry, Sir. Proceed.
好了下一招我要把Woody整出翔
All right, this is where I make Woody crack.
请问 Johnson先生你是不是将嘉年华引入脆莓公园
So, Mr. Johnson, isn't it true that you brought the carnival to Brickleberry
好存心致瘫我的委托人?
to purposefully paralyze my client?
不是
No!
所以你是说你压根就没把嘉年华引入脆莓公园?
So you're telling us you did not bring the carnival to Brickleberry?
对的 - 这可是明晃晃欺骗法庭啊
Yes. - So now you are lying to the court.
没有... 没错... 啥?
Uh, no... uh, yes... what?
不我绝对不会那样做咱不是那种人
No, I would never do that. I'm not that kind of guy.
所以你是在告诉法庭你是个十足的"正人君子"
So you're telling this court that you're a perfectly "decent man".
别忘了哦你可起过誓了
And remember, you're under oath.
那啥听着我这辈子确实干过缺德事好吧?
I mean, look, I've done bad things in my life, okay?
上帝啊我忽悠谁啊?
Oh, dear God, who am I kidding?
我特么就一坨屎
I'm a piece of shit!
六岁那会儿我就在墨西哥独♥立♥日游♥行♥上舌吻了一头驴子
When I was six, I French-kissed a burro during a Mexican independence day parade.
我还非法下载过《妈妈咪呀》
I illegally downloaded Mamma Mia!
1989年我还在IHOP餐厅给一醉酒司机秀蛋蛋来着
And in 1989, I showed my testes to a drunk driver at an IHOP!
都怪他请我吃双蛋双培根妙妙堡
He offered me half a rooty tooty fresh 'n fruity!
我只是凡人啊
I'm only human!
Malloy先生这段口供是要辩解什么?
Mr. Malloy, what is the point of this testimony?
谁让他一直厚着脸皮逼我找工作
He had the nerve to suggest that I get a job
还有戏弄胖子很好玩
and it is fun to tease the fat.
理由充分
Point taken.
受害人准备好作证了么?
Is the aggrieved party ready to testify?
胜券在握了 Steve 再老实坐五分钟就行
We've won this, Steve. Just sit still for five more minutes.
木有问题看我的吧
No problem, I got this.
你就是反转史蒂芬•霍金
You're the reverse Stephen Hawking...
腿脚好使脑子吃屎
Body works, shit for brains.
诸位女人长胡子鼻子长鸡♥巴♥的陪审团大人们
All ye bearded ladies and genital-nosed freak assholes of the jury...
不如都给Steve欢呼一嗓吧
How about a huzzah for Steve?
一起为这个马上抢走我家底的瘫痪傻X欢呼三声
Three cheers for the paralyzed dickhead who's going to take all of my money!
我想你赢了 Steve 顺便你把公园也彻底毁了
I guess you won, Steve, and you ruined the Park forever.
恭你大爷的喜了
Con[Bleeping]gratulations.
想要钱是吧 Steve? 走着拿好
You want my money, Steve? Here, take it!
钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱钱
Money, money, money, money, money, money!
这张想要不 Steve? 喜欢是吧?
You want this one, Steve? Huh? You like it?
喜欢富兰克林是吧? 想要他吗? 走着
You like Mr. Franklin? You want him? Here.
到我翔里翻吧
Dig it out of my shit!
画的还差点事那张脸吧...
You're getting closer. The face is...
不知道你会怎么画唐氏综合症患者不过我觉得那么画才对
I don't know how you draw a touch of Down's, but that's what I'm thinking.
但愿你美了 Steve 因为我现在成破产鬼了
Oh, I hope you're happy, Steve, because I'm a broken man.
痒死了
So itchy!
法官大人我撤销对Woody Johnson的全部指控
Your honor, I'd like to drop all charges against Woody Johnson.
即刻牵手我的新委托人Woody Johnson
And confide with my new client, Woody Johnson.
我们要反告Steve Williams先生施行诈骗
We will be counter suing Mr. Steve Williams for fraud.
啥?
What?
多谢你帮我反败为胜赢回钱律师大大
Thanks for winning my money back in that counter suit, Mr. Counselor.
拿着想买♥♥啥买♥♥点啥去吧
Here, go buy whatever you'd like.
这尼玛刚够我5%的律师费
Well, this almost covers 5% of my attorney fees.
瘫痪飞车还以为他们早关了...
The Paralyzer. I thought they shut that ride...
Steve
Steve!
草你个死王八羔子
Shit, you dumb son of a bitch!
我的腿失觉了
I can't feel my legs!
动不了了
I can't move!
来玩"戳瞎瘸子眼珠子"咯
Poke the cripple in the eyeball!
来个谢谢
One, please.