脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S02E02

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:31 p.m.

You'll regret this!
没人敢放爷鸽子的你个[哔-]
Nobody walks out on me, you [Bleep]!
对不起啊
I'm sorry.
外壳倒是又热又脆了里面的牛肉还是冷的呢
The shell is warm and crispy, but the Taquito is still cold on the inside.
背包客墓地
Steve 你看起来真像墨西哥来的宇航员
Steve, you look like a Mexican Astronaut.
谢啦但这事跟我狂霸酷炫的外表没关系
Thank you, but this is not about how bad ass I look.
这是复仇啊 - 好吧
This is about vengeance. - Okay.
祝你复仇顺利啊要找我的话我在家里睡觉哟
Good luck with that vengeance. If you need me, I'll be home, sleeping.
你毁我一生啊你个王八蛋
You ruined my life, you son of a bitch!
Steve Steve 别动手我跟你闹着玩呢
Steve, Steve, hold on! I was just messing with you!
变成Denzel 你也骗不了我
You morphed into Denzel, huh?
你个变化多端的妖怪 - Steve 是我本人啦
You shape-shifting ghost! - Whoa, Steve, it's me!
问点只有我知道的问题嘛
Ask me something only I would know.
我姓啥? - 我特么怎么知道
What's my last name? - I don't [Bleep] know.
太好啦果然是你 Denzel - 靠这比我想像的还要严重
Oh, thank God, it's you, Denzel. - Man, this is worse than I thought.
你得去找人治治 Steve
You need some therapy, Steve.
能治根救本的只有宰掉那个鬼魂
The only therapy I need is to kill this ghost.
Steve 世上根本没有...
Steve, there is no...
鬼啊
Ghost!
灯光再调柔和点好么?
Could we soften this light a little bit?
我不愿也不想看清Woody蛋蛋上的每一道皱纹
I don't need or deserve to see every wrinkle on Woody's sac.
如果再把吊挂麦克风打入镜一次吼吼吼
If that boom mic gets in the shot one more time, whoa-ho-ho
我们就来听听你的屁♥眼♥好声音
we're gonna find out what the inside of your ass sounds like.
恐怕好不了他可吃了一整盘的牛肉卷
Probably not good. He ate a whole plate of Taquitos.
你丫怎么又跑回美国来了
How did you get back into the country?
好啦开始
Okay, action!
这特么是什么剧本?
What the hell is this?
昨晚我吸了大堆白面儿改写了整个剧本
I did a bunch of coke and rewrote the whole script last night.
照提词板读就是了
Just read the cue cards.
还有什么遗言吗奥萨马•本•拉♥登♥?
Any last requests, Osama Bin Laden?
有异教♥徒♥们你们就轮番来弄我吧
Yes, infidels, I want you to run a train on me
用上你们海豹突击队的JJ 要不然我就69 11死你们
with your seal-team dicks or I'll 69 11 you!
什么啊这完全不是人话 Malloy
What? This is bullshit, Malloy!
观众不就想看我表演飞龙在天吗?
People just want to see The Rex Rocket!
你说得对剧本太烂了我还得重写整个剧本
You're right. That was garbage. I'm gonna rewrite the whole script...
马上开工
Right now.
哔啵哔啵哔
Beep-boop, beep-boop, beep.
您从未来订了个披萨吗?
You ordered a pizza from the future?
停 Woody 别喘气了机器人是不会喘气的
Cut! Woody, stop breathing! Robots don't breathe.
这镜头都拍第100条了
This is the 100th take.
咱们休息会儿好不?
Could we stop for a minute?
我累了 - 你累了?
I'm tired. - You're tired?
你都演砸了那么多次
You've flubbed your lines so many times that
搞得童贞小妹都开始怀疑人生目标了
Chastity here is starting to question her life choices.
我想我应该去上个护士学校
I think I might want to go to nursing school.
学校绝对要做毒品检验的
I'm pretty sure they drug test.
好算了
Oh, well.
说真的不对劲啊我现在好痛苦
Seriously, something's wrong. I am in real pain here.
很好把它用到角色中来开拍
Great! Use it! Action!
剧本里可没有这姿势
That was not in the script!
现在可以有了
But it is now.
脆莓医疗中心
Kuzniak医生坐诊
还算你走运 Woody
You're a very lucky man, Woody.
一切都会好起来的
Everything's going to be fine.
太好了我还能演吗?
Great! So I can perform?
当然可以演...
Of course you can perform...
舞台剧啊人生频道原创电影啊
In stage plays, Lifetime original movies.
以女性为目标观众群的美国电视台
化妆黑人乐队也行
Even black face minstrel shows.
成人动作片就算了吧
Just not pornography.
听着 Woody 你得了一种罕见的病...
You see, Woody, you're suffering from a rare ailment...
阴囊多重囊肿症
Multiple scrot cysts.
我得了多重硬化症? 擦
I have multiple sclerosis? Shit!
错得离谱只是硬化症就好了
Oh, heavens no. I wish you did.
我说的是阴囊多重囊肿症就是你阴囊里有好多个囊肿
I said, multiple scrot cysts, as in multiple cysts in your scrotum.
每个囊肿都是颗活动的定时炸♥弹♥
Each cyst is a little, ticking time bomb.
你两粒蛋蛋每撞击一次你就离死亡更近一步
Every single bounce of your ball bag brings you closer to death.
跟我说实话大夫
Level with me, Doc.
我还剩几次插插的机会?
How many thrusts do I have left?
这我倒是没法给你准数 Woody
I can't give you an exact number, Woody
但大概就在... 差不多70到72之间吧
but it's somewhere between, say, 70 and 72.
就是...
So...
71次咯?
Seventy one?
医学要能算到这么准那就好了
If only medicine could be that precise.
那个鬼来抓我们了
The ghost! He's coming for us.
快抄打鬼棒 - 吃招吧死鬼
Grab the ghost bats! - Take that, you ghost!
吃招
Take that!
干掉死鬼干掉死鬼
Kill that ghost! Kill that ghost!
我觉得成了
I think we got him!
不是吧 Connie
Oh, no! Connie!
肯定是鬼把她打残的
The ghost must have beat her up!
是我们打残她的你个傻X
We beat her up, you dumb ass!
从头到尾只是Connie梦游来着
It was Connie sleepwalking the whole time!
我不想跟你说 Steve 但那个什么鬼
I hate to tell you this, Steve, but that ghost was just
只是你那个在你妈妈生日打她的酒鬼老爸
your alcoholic father beating your mama up on her birthday.
不好意思我走神了你刚说啥没听见
Sorry, I was zoning out. I didn't hear anything you just said.
Steve 根本没有鬼从头到尾都是你老爸
Steve, it wasn't a ghost! It was your dad the whole time!
我倒又走神了 Steve后面说的啥全没听见
Damn it. Happened again. I didn't hear anything after the word Steve.
你有个老爸很操蛋
You just had a shitty dad!
抱歉我在憋屁
Sorry, I was holding in a fart.
我放弃治疗
I give up.
Denzel 我忽然全懂了
Denzel, I just realized something.
从头到尾都是我老爸
It was my dad the whole time.
世上根本没有鬼
There is no ghost.
嘿 Steve 好久不见了啊
Hey, Steve, long time no see.
还记得我偷走你的圣诞礼物吗?
Remember when I stole your Christmas presents
让银行没收你家房♥子
and made the bank foreclose on your house?
爽死了嘿帮我把这个送你妈去
Good times. Hey, give this to you mom for me.
对不住了小毛球但我真的没法再演动作片了
I'm sorry, Snugglewubs, but I just can't do porn anymore.
要遵医嘱这次我真的是吓怕了
Doctor's orders. It kills me more than anyone.
好好歇着吧 Woody 我完全理解
You rest up, Woody. I completely understand.
再说我也已经找好你的替补了
Besides, I already found your replacement.
哟哟哟鸡动公爵驾临蓬荜生辉
Yo, yo, yo, Duke Dick in the father-suckin' house.
不行噢老子还没玩完呢
Ooh, hell no! I ain't done yet!
让我们引蛇入洞吧
It's time to bust ass!
开拍
Action!
不行别别别别别别别别别
No! No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
好了 Woody 这一场可是杀青戏
All right, Woody, this is your final scene.
最好是
Oh, it better be.
这可都是第93次改剧本了光今儿一天
This is the 93rd rewrite of this movie... today!
我知道你很累但搞定这场戏
I know you're tired, but nail this shot
坚挺Rex就绝对不会被遗忘第二次
and Rex Erection will never be forgotten again.
是时候飞龙在天了你准备好没?
Time for The Rex Rocket. You ready?
让我们...
It's time to...
引蛇入洞
Bust ass!
飞龙在天
The Rex Rocket!
天啊他死翘翘了还插着我呢
Oh, my God, he's dead and still in me!
恶心
Gross!
色情凶杀片就是这么导出来的完美
And that's how you direct a snuff film. Perfect!
即时消息
全球今天沉痛悼念
The world mourns today
深受爱戴的成人动作片影星坚挺Rex悄然西辞
as beloved pornographic film star Rex Erection has died.
一位真正的革新者是他发展了精专的性♥爱♥姿势
A true innovator, he developed specialized coitus procedures.
例如撬蛤蜊
Like the Clam Slam...
滴水腌瓜
The Drippy Pickle...
南希•里根式
The Nancy Reagan.
美国第40任总统里根夫人
及其标志姿势飞龙在天
And his signature, Rex Rocket.
有一点是可以肯定的
One thing is for certain...
坚挺Rex的传奇将永垂不朽
The legacy of Rex Erection will live on forever.
下面转入色情大奖现场正在进行中
We now join the Boney Awards, already in progress.
女士们先生们以下是今年离开我们的成人动作片演员