脆莓公园（2012）

真可爱
Delightful.
你好 我是Steve 你最忠实的粉丝
Hi! My name is Steve. I am your biggest fan.
我很荣幸 朋友 我很荣幸
Flattered, my good man, flattered.
那这位一定是你可爱的女友了
And this must be your lovely girlfriend.
她可不是我女友
She's not my girlfriend.
如果我把每个我打手♥枪♥的对象都约到的话
I mean, if I dated everybody I masturbated to
我肯定会约你 烈火哥
I'd be dating you, Flamey.
我想我会喜欢你的 Steven
I think I'm going to like you, Steven.
是吗? 其实很久前我在温迪克西超♥市♥开业典礼上见过你
Really? I actually met you a long time ago, at the opening of a Winn-Dixie.
我可不记得这出
I don't recall.
谨愿你能在专辑上给我签名
I just wanted you to sign this album.
你现在能这样做吗?
Is there any way you could do it now?
很抱歉 Steven 日程所迫 我只能在胸部给人签名
My apologies, Steven, but my busy schedule only allows me to sign breasts.
好吧 我倒有一双不错的...
Well, I've got quite the pair of...
只限女人胸 - 他是不是很棒?
Women's breasts. - Isn't he great?
保证你的眼睛时时刻刻都盯着他
Just don't take your eyes off him for a second!
如果他没在开幕式出场 你就死定了 Steve
If he's not at that opening it's your ass Steve!
还有不管你做什么 都别让他沾酒
And whatever you do, don't let him drink!
为什么? - 相信我 没错的
Why not? - Trust me, don't!
快带我去你的房♥间 Steven
Show me to your cabin at once, Steven.
如果我不马上大大的话 我就会拉到裤子里了
If I don't pinch a loaf soon, it's going to pinch me back!
人熊烈火哥款的坐便器 真有意思
A Flamey the Bear toilet. Very interesting.
我之前可从没对着自己的嘴巴拉过屎
I've never shit in my own mouth before.
这不算什么 我这里还有"打破沙锅问到底烈火哥版"
That's nothing! I've got "trivial pursuit; Flamey edition".
还有经你授权的和莱莎•明奈利的性♥爱♥录像
And your authorized sex tape with Liza Minnelli.
著名女演员
天呐 莱莎
Oh, Liza!
干♥她♥就像被千万只狼蛛撕咬一般刺♥激♥
She had a crotch like a giant bowl of tarantulas.
说到酒鬼 你这有什么可以喝的吗 我的好朋友?
Speaking of alcoholics, do you have anything here to drink, my good man?
很抱歉 我的头儿说过了...
Um, I'm so sorry, but my boss said...
实在是太扯了...
And this is crazy...
他说我不能让你喝酒
He said I couldn't let you drink.
太遗憾了 我本希望能为我们全新的友谊祝酒呢
That's too bad. I was hoping we could toast to our new friendship.
友谊? 朋友? 你和我是朋友了?
Friendship? Friends? You and I are friends?
当然了 我的孩子 - 你知道吗?
Of course we are, my boy. - You know what?
如果你答应不告诉任何人
If you promise not to tell anyone
我这里有留给某个特殊场合的小玩意儿
I have a little something I was saving for a special occasion.
为我们的友谊干杯
To our friendship!
为我们的友谊干杯
To our friendship!
嘿 烈火哥 我刚梦到你把我的脑袋用什么打了... 烈火哥?
Hey, Flamey, I just had a dream that you hit me on the head with... Flamey?
天呐 他不见了
Oh, no! He's gone!
得赶快把烈火哥找回来 不然Woody会宰了我的
I've got to find Flamey or Woody will kill me!
你好? - 烈火哥现在怎么样了?
Hello? - How's it going with Flamey?
好得很 Woody 他... 他就在我身边
Great, Woody! He's...he's right here with me.
向你问早上好了啊
Uh, top of the morning to you!
我得去上个厕所
Going to the loo.
这里是CNN
And this is CNN.
很好 一听就知道是他
Oh, good, that's definitely him.
现在听着 他可能会找你骗口酒喝
Now listen, he might try to trick you into giving him a drink.
别蠢到上了他的套了
Don't be stupid enough to fall for it.
你觉得我有多蠢呢?
How stupid do you think I am?
我觉得应该介于詹姆斯•弗兰科和他拉的最后一泡屎之间吧
Mm, I'd say somewhere between James Franco and the last shit James Franco took.
美国演员 导演
那么 你觉得怎样? 说实话
So, what do you think? Be honest.
我的嘴唇好看不? - 不
Do my lips look good? - No.
它们看起来棒极了
They look amazing!
祖•蒙坦拿比你都逊色不少
Way better than Joe Montana's.
真棒 多谢你了
Woo! Thank you so much.
整形手术这主意太棒了 Malloy
This plastic surgery was a great idea, Malloy.
是啊 不过可惜的是...
Yeah, it's just too bad that...
唉 没事啦 - 可惜什么?
Oh, never mind. - What?
我只是觉得你的嘴唇看起来完美
I just feel like your lips are so perfect now
但却让你的眼睛相形见绌
it makes your eyes look bad by comparison.
我的眼睛又有什么毛病?
What's wrong with my eyes?
我真不想说 有点吹毛求疵
I hate to do this. It's nitpicking.
但你的双眼挨得有那么点近
They're just a tad too close together.
你说对了
Oh, you're right!
天呐 我就是个天杀的独眼巨人
My God, I'm a goddamn cyclops!
♪ 我是头名人熊 ♪
♪ Oh, I am the famous bear. ♪
♪ 只知道喝了搞 ♪
♪ Who loves to drink and screw. ♪
♪ 我只管喝喝喝 我就爱这一口 ♪
♪ I'll drink and drink and drink. It's my favorite thing to do. ♪
♪ 虽然我可能晕 但我就放不下酒 ♪
♪ Although I may black out, this thirst I cannot quench. ♪
英国女演员
♪ 有次我把朱迪•丹奇插了个透里红 ♪
♪ One time I came to naked balls-deep in Judi Dench. ♪
♪ 他只管喝喝喝 他就爱这一口 ♪
♪ He'll drink and drink and drink. It's his favorite thing to do. ♪
♪ 因为他是名人熊 只知道喝了搞 ♪
♪ Because he's a famous bear who loves to drink and screw. ♪
总算找到你了
There you are!
谢天谢地 - Steven 我的孩子
Thank God. - Steven, my boy!
很高兴你能到场
So glad you could make it.
让我亲一口 亲爱的
Give us a kiss, love.
抱歉 但我们得回公园了
I'm sorry, but we have to get back to the park.
见见我新结识的哥们 都是好小伙儿
Meet my new friends! Great chaps.
踢屁人 独齿Eddie 还有我觉得这位先生的名字是...
Shit-kicker, Eddie one-tooth, and I believe this gentleman's name is...
"强♥奸♥狂魔"
"Super rape".
别被我的名字糊弄了
Don't be fooled by my name.
我只是个普通的强♥奸♥犯
I'm just a regular rapist.
很高兴见到你啦
Nice to meet you?
为我愚蠢而又眼拙的朋友干杯吧
Drinks on my oafish, dull eyed friend!
恐怕你得少喝点
Maybe you should go easy.
今天下午你不是还要去生日派对当嘉宾吗?
Don't you have a birthday party appearance this afternoon?
都搞定啦 我找了个朋友替我
All taken care of! I got a friend to fill in.
Steve好兄弟啊 这里有点太嘈杂
Steve, my good boy, it's a bit loud and raucous in here.
咱们去找个安静的地儿好好聊聊
Let's go somewhere quiet where we can talk.
烈火哥 你知道我爱你大过我这条命
Flamey, you know I love you more than life itself
但我们真应该回...
but maybe we should get back to the...
人熊先生
Mr. Bear!
敝脱衣会所能有你这样的大腕光临 实在太荣幸啦
It is an honor to have someone of your stature in my humble titty bar.
来 想爽一下吗?
Here! You want to feel good?
不 我要的是爽上天
No, I'd rather feel great!
老天爷啊
Jesus Christ!
你朋友把这东西夹在我丁字裤上
Your friend put this in my g-string.
"Steve欠你20刀"?
"Steve owes you $20"?
这种东西哥多得是
There's more where that came from!
不许捡 快给我
Give me those!
今晚真是开心到爆
Wow, did we have fun tonight.
现在差不多咱该回家了吧
Now, maybe it's time to go home.
瞧着 这招是Wink Martindale教我的
Look at this, a trick Wink Martindale taught me!
美国著名DJ及电视主持人
好漂亮的火焰呐
Beautiful fire!
但烈火哥 你不是讨厌火嘛
But Flamey, I thought you hated fire!
真是那样吗 Steven? 像吗?
Do I, Steven? Do I?
搞毛 搞毛玩意啊
Hey, what the... what the [Bleep]?
咱们趁现在快闪人 - 胡说
We gotta get you out of here! - Nonsense!
夜晚才刚刚开始 药效才刚刚上头
The night has just begun, and the pills are just kicking in!
咋啦?
What?
眼睛的问题解决啦
Well, took care of that eye situation!
眼睛中间貌似有个盲点
Kind of got a little blind spot from here to here
但是 为了美 这点代价算啥
but hey, small price to pay for good looks.
哇 我靠 真是帅到爆
Whoa! God damn, you do look good!
你差不多就完美了 Woody
You're just about perfect, Woody.
"差不多"? 你什么意思 "差不多"?
"Just about"? What do you mean, "just about"?
如果我有天仙般的双唇和双眼
Well, if I had godlike lips and eyes
我肯定不想让超大的鼻子和耳朵跟他们抢位置
I wouldn't want them competing for real estate with my oversized nose and ears.
我肯定要把鼻子和耳朵稍微修小一点
I'd take those in just a smidge.
好吧 走起...
All right, let's g...
Malloy 你要拿我的冻妓♥女♥出来玩的话 至少记得要收回原处嘛
Hey, Malloy, if you're gonna play with my frozen hookers, at least put 'em back!
医院
他是命悬一线啊
It's touch and go.
有那么12分钟 他已经确诊死亡一回了
For 12 minutes, he was clinically dead.
现在他又挂了
And he's dead, again.
现在又活回来了
And now, he's back.
你觉得他可以挺到早九点的森林开幕式吗?
Do you think he can make it to a forest opening at 9:00 A.M.?
当然 没问题 要是开幕式在地狱举♥行♥的话