脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

我在想啊 Woody 你该买♥♥只新宠物给我
So I was thinking, Woody, you should buy me a new pet.
绝逼不行 每次买♥♥给你 你都照管得一团糟
Hell no. Every time I do, you do a shitty job of taking care of it.
简直是胡扯 我很负责的好吧
That is nonsense. I am totally responsible.
真的吗?
Oh, really?
我们怎敢质疑上帝的安排?
Who are we to question God's plan?
没错 我是忘记了几次疫苗 忘喂几顿饭
Sure, I've missed a couple vaccinations and meals
仓鼠自杀事件可别赖在我身上啊
but you can't pin that hamster suicide on me.
这自杀遗言真是萌到爆表
Wasn't that the cutest little suicide note you ever saw?
听着 我改头换面了
Look, I've changed.
我保证不会再让一只宠物在我面前挂掉
I promise I will not let another pet die on my watch.
你先等一下
Wait a minute.
上月我买♥♥给你的小马出啥事了?
What happened to that pony I got you last month?

脆莓公园
翻译 井脑湿
听好了 林警们
Listen up, Rangers.
脆莓公园今年破天荒主办林警运动会
Brickleberry is hosting the Ranger Games for the first time this year.
翻译 偏执绝非过错
咱必须得胜这种事不用我再强调了
I cannot stress how important it is that we win.
翻译 旗木佐罗
我们势在必得
We're ready to rock!
林警运动会是啥玩意?
Uh, what are the Ranger Games?
全球森林警♥察♥之中最重要的竞赛活动
Only the most important competition between all the world's Park Rangers.
看片子得了
Ah, just watch this.
恶搞《沉默的羔羊》经典桥段
播错带子了 这个才对
Ooh, wrong tape. Here.
国家公园制片厂谨献
林警运动会的历史
长满常青树的苔原 如今成为了最神圣的赛场
On the evergreen tundra of the world's most hallowed Park grounds
来自世界各地的林警们相聚一堂 争夺"金橡奖"这一殊荣
Rangers from around the globe gather to compete for the coveted Golden Acorn.
他♥娘♥的♥黄石公园从1908年开始就婵联冠军
Goddamn Yellowstone has won the Ranger Games every year since 1908.
脆莓队自1982年退出后 今年首度回归赛场
But now that Brickleberry's back in the games for the first time since 1982
他们的统治该结束了
their reign is over.
为啥咱们1982年以后就没参赛了?
Why haven't we had a team compete since 1982?
那个 不知道啊 - 我知道
Yeah, uh, nobody knows. - I know.
1982年林运会迎来了历史上最黑暗的日子
Then in 1982 came the Ranger Games' darkest day.
脆莓队Woody Johnson在森林体操项目中几乎完美无瑕
Brickleberry's Woody Johnson was near flawless in forest gymnastics.
但最终以0.1分的差距 败给了黄石队的John Radcliff
But he was beat out by 1 10th of a point by Yellowstone's John Radcliff.
什么? 全特么扯淡
What? This is hogshit.
评委席
我才是赢家
I'm a winner.
看冠军在你们头上撒尿
You're being pissed on by a winner!
一语双关: a self-serving asshole也有"自私自利的混♥蛋♥"之意
至少自爆菊花那个项目你拿了金牌啊
At least you won the gold medal for being a self-serving asshole.
菊花和自行车坐垫 请自行脑补
那叫骑行比赛好吧
It's called cycling.
你们那破运动会如果允许黑人参赛的话
Yellowstone wouldn't have won shit if they'd have let blacks play
黄石队还赢个毛线啊
in your stupid Ranger Games.
我们只能参加黑鬼版的林警运动会
Instead, we had to compete in our negro Ranger Games.
Denzel 别活在过去了
Ah, Denzel, stop living in the past.
林运会早在2008就完全合并了
The Ranger Games have been fully integrated since 2008.
你想制霸哪个项目? 跑步? 跳高跳远? 还是看电视?
So what sport you gonna dominate, huh? Running? Jumping? Watching TBS?
我要向我心目中的英雄致敬 参加他的项目
I'm gonna honor my hero "frozen toes" Carruthers
他是首位黑人花式溜冰运动员"冰霜之趾"Carruthers
the first black figure skater, by competing in his event.
我靠啊 仅有这么一次你可以派上用场
God damn it! The one time you could've been useful to me
你居然挑了黑人最不擅长的项目
and you pick the one sport black guys aren't good at.
这样说太不对了
That is so wrong.
黑人游泳也很烂嘛 - 等不及 等不及 等不及
They're also bad at swimming. - Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
我要参加"原木硬举"项目
I'll do the log deadlift event.
蕾丝边超神之力启动
Lesbian super strength powers activate.
我要跑步
I like to run.
想挨操你跑得最快了 - 闭嘴
Vag-first into boners. - Shut up.
那我就参加"致命动物短跑赛"吧
So I'll take the deadly animal dash.
我就参加森林体操啦
And I'll compete in forest gymnastics.
森林体操? 那是哥的旧活儿
Forest gymnastics? Hey, that's my old event.
正是这样 我才想给你长脸嘛 Woody
Exactly. I'm gonna make you proud, Woody.
你啥时候又变体操运动员了?
And since when are you a gymnast?
人家一直都很喜欢的
I always loved the sport.
我住的地方没有男性体操赛
They didn't have male gymnastics in my town though.
但这也阻止不了我
That didn't stop me.
女孩向前冲
你还真舍得花钱啊
I see you went all out.
家居建材用品零售商
家得宝没有墨西哥民工了吗?
Was the Home Depot out of Mexicans?
pinata 也叫"皮纳塔" 蒙眼打某容器 里面掉出糖果的游戏
不是 自从"劈了他"事件后 他们再不敢上我的车了
No, they won't get in my car anymore, since the pinata incident.
围过来吧 小伙们 发工资啦
Gather around, boys. It's payday.
你居然付他们毒品?
You're paying them with meth?
这不挺好 还省得他们自己去买♥♥ 而且 吸一点工作效率高
Why not? It saves them a step. Plus, it makes 'em work faster.
谢啦 老板
Thanks, boss.
这包好像轻一点
This bag looks a little light.
社保医疗强制税扣了 - 日你♥娘♥的♥奥巴马
Yeah, F.I.C.A. withholding. - [Bleep] Obama.
好好干 你们还可以加薪的
Keep up the good work, and you boys just might get a raise.
谢谢啦 奥巴马
Thank you, Obama.
俺们接着干活儿吧
Let's get back to work.
搞毛...
What the...
这顶可以用 没错 合适的 必须合适的
Wow, I can use that. Yeah, this'll fit. This ought to fit.
你是哪位?
And who are you?
浪人Larry的名字就叫浪人Larry 没错 先生
Hobo Larry's name is Hobo Larry. Yes, Sir.
没人管的流浪汉是吧?
Stray hobo, huh?
哪个混♥蛋♥在我靴子里拉屎了?
Who the hell took a shit in my boot?
应该是我的新宠物吧
Oh, that must've been my new pet.
浪人Larry不好意思啦 没错 先生
Hobo Larry's sorry about that, yes, Sir.
不会再这样了 - 你养流浪汉当宠物?
W-won't happen again. - You have a pet hobo?
你不给我买♥♥宠物 我只好这样凑合了
You wouldn't buy me my own pet, so I had to make do.
好吧 我明白什么意思了
Okay. I see what's going on.
你就故意来气老子的对吧
You're doing this to screw with me.
那好 你要养流浪汉 尽管养去
Well, fine. You want a pet hobo, have at it.
但如果这只也死掉 永远不会再买♥♥新宠物给你了
But if you let this one die, it's the last pet you will ever get.
明白没? 永远不会
You understand me? Ever!
谢谢啦 老爹
Thanks, Daddy.
我的另一只靴子呢? 我日啊
Now where's my other boot? Oh, God damn it!
在靴里拉屎这事情 浪人Larry又做错了 没错 先生
Hobo Larry was wrong about that whole shitting in the boot thing happening again, yes, Sir.
唉 这技术黑人玩不来
Yeah. This shit ain't for black people.
锻炼得怎样了 脆莓代表队?
How's it going, team Brickleberry?
准备好羞辱黄石的毛头小子们没?
Ready to kick some Yellowstone ass?
我准备好了 快看 Woody
I am. Check this out, Woody.
见鬼 看来得买♥♥件男士体操服了
Damn it. I guess I should buy a male uniform.
但也还算很牛逼嘛 对不 Woody? 怎么... Woody?
But it was still pretty awesome. Right, Woody? What... Woody?
做得漂亮 我新的美国朋友
Excellent, my new American friend.
你是哪根葱?
Who are you?
林警们 看我为稳操胜券所雇的王牌...
Rangers, meet the ringer I hired to ensure victory over Yellowstone...
奥林匹克金牌体操选手Magnus Blickensderfer
Olympic gold medal gymnast Magnus Blickensderfer.
体操选手? 但那可是我的项目啊
Gymnast? B-b-but that's my event!
是啊 抱歉 Magnus 这是Steve的项目
Oh, right, sorry, Magnus. That's Steve's event.
你得买♥♥回瑞士的机票去了
You'll have to get back on a plane and go home to Switzerland.
不尽感激 Wood... - 闭上你的臭嘴吧 Steve
Thanks so much, Wood... - Oh, shut the hell up, Steve.
Magnus哪都不会去
Magnus ain't going anywhere.
你什么都不行 被从队中除名了
You suck at everything, and you're off the team.
Woody 你怎么能这样...
Woody, you can't do this to...
那啥...
Your...
我知道
I know!
你真的是奥林匹克冠军吗?
So you're really an Olympic Champion?
是啊 但只赢过两次
Yeah, but only twice.
你赢过两项?
You won two events?
不 我赢过两场奥林匹克的全部项目
No, I won two entire Olympics.
你有女友吗?
Do you have a girlfriend?
我只准备谈以结婚为目的的恋爱
I'm saving myself for marriage.
我不能... 怎么说来着... 把我的插头插入你的插座
I cannot... how you say... dip my meat in your fondue.
不过口♥活♥什么的欢迎随时联♥系♥
But I can eat the cheese all day and night.
天呐
Oh, my.
Ethel只是想满足一己私欲
Ethel's just thinking with her privates.
我还要问更有技术含量的问题
I have a more intelligent question.
你抽麻吗?
Do you smoke the chronic?
很好 看来你们都和Magnus混熟了
Good, you're all getting to know Magnus.
这是你的早餐 哥们
I brought you breakfast, pal.