脆莓公园（2012）

Now, if you'll excuse me.
看来货车站还是会在 好吧
So, the truck stop stays. All right.
人家还得滚回家补寻欢洞去...
I gotta get home and patch up some glory holes.
寻欢洞: 在木板或墙壁中间戳洞 双方开始鱼水之欢
慌什么 我还没完呢
Not so fast! I ain't done yet.
闪边去 女士 我要发表我的演讲
Step aside, lady! I got my own announcement to make.
我 Woodrow Wayland Johnson 将竞选州长
I, Woodrow Wayland Johnson, am running for Governor!
有问题吗? 你 穿黑衣的女士
Any questions? Yes, the lady dressed in black.
你跑我儿子葬礼上宣布个什么?
Why are you announcing this at my son's funeral?
一路走好
选Woody当州长
福克斯新闻刚说同性恋恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
Fox news just said that gay terrorists
正在试图用堕胎取代我们的枪♥支♥
are trying to replace our guns with abortions.
这就是为什么Woody要竞选州长
That's why Woody needs to be Governor.
只要把筹款单给Malloy就行了
Just make that donation check out to Malloy.
大伙们 Steve呼叫
Hey, guys! It's Steve!
我被困在高速公路中间很多天了
I've been trapped for days in the middle of the highway!
请派...
Please send...
好了 Woody选民队 咱们筹到多少款了?
All right, team Woody! How much money have we raised?
三万美元
$30,000.
哎呦 抱歉 负债三万美元
Oops, sorry. Negative $30,000.
什么?
What?
印传♥单♥要钱 广播广♥告♥要钱
There's the printing, the radio spots
还有那头你为就职典礼准备的海豚
uh, and that dolphin for your inauguration.
恭喜你 Woody州长
我那是一时冲动买♥♥的 但我不后悔
It was an impulse buy, but I don't regret it.
Melcher选举必胜
敢在我竞选办公室里穿这衣服 你胆子可真不小
You've got a lot of nerve, wearing that in my campaign office.
这儿不是你竞选办公室 Woody
It's not your campaign office, Woody.
这儿是林警站
It's the ranger station.
地狱烈焰里受死吧 犹太人 - 什么?
Burn in hell, Jew. - What?
又是免费民兵衫 对吧 Denzel?
Oh, more free militia T-shirts, Denzel?
不 这件在GAP买♥♥的
No, I got this at the GAP.
听着 Woody 你没机会赢的
Look, Woody, you don't stand a chance.
Melcher州长提高了就业率
Governor Melcher cut unemployment
还清了债务 还赢过一次国会荣誉勋章
she balanced the budget, and won a Congressional Medal of Honor.
而你是歧视妇女的种族偏见战犯
You're a racist, misogynistic war criminal!
如果你用这种口吻来说 听起来还真是那回事
Well, when you say it with that negative tone, it sounds bad, yeah.
Woody 是这样的
Woody, here's the deal.
只有赢得这场选举 我才有机会入住州长官邸
I need you to win so I can live in the Governor's mansion.
我可是跟一个娘们拉选票呢 怎么可能会输呢
I'm running against a woman. Of course I'm going to win.
你只有1%的支持率
You're trailing in the polls by 99%!
我们得下点猛药才行
We need to do something drastic.
没错 我们得再买♥♥条海豚
You're right! We should buy another dolphin!
不 让我们背后黑了这娘们
No! Let's blackmail this woman.
好点子
That's smart.
让她背点黑锅 让她无地自容
Get some dirt on her, hold it over her head.
不 我是说"黑人" 就是你
No. I said, "black male," I.E., you.
你得跟她嘿♥咻♥再录下来
You're gonna make a sex tape with her.
对 然后我们边看边打飞机
Yeah, then we can whack off to it.
不 我们会把视频寄给媒体
No, we will send it to the press.
你有你办法 我有我主意
You do it your way, I'll do it mine.
爱爱和电视我倒都喜欢 但她有多老了?
I do love sex and electronics. But how old is she?
别担心 她年纪可不小 - 听到了没 鸡鸡?
Don't worry. She's old. - Hey, did you hear that, Dick?
硬了没? 看起来你确实硬了
You excited? Looks like you are!
不 不 不 不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
见鬼了
Damn it!
BoDean 俺没要你把它吞下去 把它含在嘴里就行了
BoDean, I'm not asking you to suck it. Just hold it in your mouth.
欢迎回来 会员 - 好消息 大伙们
Welcome, member! - Guys, I got great news.
我带了个新会员来 他是我的生活教练
I brought a new recruit! He's my life Coach.
大伙好
Hola.
不 不 不要墨西哥佬
No, no, no! No Mexicans!
俺们和墨西哥佬水火不容
We are definitely anti-Mexican!
但他有油煎面卷饼啊
But he brought Chimichangas!
这些玩意真好吃 Bobby - 好 得了 你留下吧
These are real good, Bobby. - Okay, fine! You can join.
谢谢 朋友们
Gracias, amigo.
这话翻成墨西哥语是"玉米卷圣诞"
That's "burrito Christmas" in Mexican.
Epstein鸡尾酒吧
你好啊 性感州长
Hey, hey, sexy Governor.
我不是州长 那边那位才是州长
I'm not the Governor. That's the Governor.
什么?
Www-w-what?
我得告诉你个坏消息 鸡鸡
I've got some bad news for you, Dick.
需搭便车过街
要带你走多远 哥们?
How far are you going, friend?
过街就行
Across the street.
很好 这就带你过去
Cool. I'll take you there.
对了 你不介意在我父母的家门口等我一下吧?
Say, do you mind if we make a quick stop by my parents' house?
最近天气好的不得了 不是吗?
Crazy weather we've had lately, huh?
你刚说要我带你上哪? - 过街就行
Where'd you say you were going? - Uh, across the street.
很好 正好经过我妹妹家门口
Cool! That's on the way to my sister's house.
与黑人男子性♥爱♥的录影带流出之后
Governor Melcher has dropped out of the race
黑人男子性丑闻
Melcher州长在大选中不幸落马
after the release of a sex tape with a black male.
完蛋
日啊 这对胸真是又丰满又坚挺
Damn, your breasts are so firm and perky.
谢谢
Thank you.
那不是称赞好吧
That wasn't no compliment!
Denzel 你怎么可以这样? - 哥也不容易啊
Denzel, how could you? - Whew! It wasn't easy.
当时只好紧闭双眼
I had to close my eyes
想像着伊丽莎白女王和布♥什♥他老婆玩劈胯
and think about Queen Elizabeth scissoring Barbara Bush.
靠啊 Woody 你实在是太没下限了
Damn it, Woody! This is low, even for you.
想知道下限何在吗 Ethel? 等老子当了州长
You want to see low, Ethel? Wait till I'm Governor.
到时你不用穿蒙面长袍上街就该谢天谢地了
You'll be lucky to go outside without a goddamn burqa!
我绝对不会让你毫无对手地当选的
There's no way I'm letting you run unopposed.
那会有谁敢挑战我?
Well, who's going to challenge me?
我就此宣布参加州长竞选
I would like to announce my candidacy for Governor!
你们这些人能不能放我家一马?
Why won't you people leave our family alone?
♪ 我是州长 欢迎围观 ♪
♪ I'm the Governor, look at me! ♪
♪ 我是州长 万人敬仰 ♪
♪ Everybody loves me, I'm the Governor! ♪
♪ 我是州长 我是州长 ♪
♪ I'm the Governor, I'm the Governor! ♪
♪ 我就是州长 ♪
♪ I'm the Governor! ♪
求你闭嘴好么?
Can you please shut up?
我在为州长官邸网购90英寸大电视呢
I'm trying to pick out a 90-inch TV for the Governor's mansion.
慢着 Malloy
Whoa, Malloy.
你真的以为你会跟我一起住大官邸啊?
Do you really think you're going to live in the Governor's mansion with me?
天真了吧? - 你啥意思?
Do you? - What do you mean?
对不起啦 小盆友 州长不会跟熊孩子住一块的
I'm sorry, little buddy, but governors don't live with bears.
你个阴险的死叛徒 是我成就了你
You backstabbing turncoat. I made you.
Malloy 咱俩的关系可得保持低调 就这么个事儿
Malloy, we'll just have to keep our relationship on the down low, that's all.
人们已经开始觉得诡异了
Everybody already thinks it's weird.
诡异? 林肯还跟袋鼠玩过口♥活♥
Weird? Lincoln sucked off a kangaroo.
好好去学下历史
Read a history book.
综上所述 如果你向往着 各种族和平共处
And so, if you want a state where all races live in peace
没有战争 没有富人 没有红肉
and harmony without war, rich people, or red meat
红肉含有高饱和脂肪 不及其他肉健康
坠胎算是唯一的暴♥力♥犯罪
and the only violent acts committed are against unborn babies
那么你们应该选我
you should vote for me.
挺棒的 Ethel
That's great, Ethel.
Connie 别捧我 你是来扮演Woody的
Connie, come on. You're supposed to pretend to be Woody.
对不起 我忘了
Sorry, that's right.
老子是Woody
Argh! I'm Woody!
Connie 你个大傻X 快去摆平那些民兵
Connie, you stupid [Bleep]! Go get rid of that militia!
不行 Woody 他们是我朋友
No, Woody. They're my friends.
你他♥娘♥的♥闭嘴 Connie 你个万人嫌
Shut the hell up, Connie! Everybody hates you!
整天又跑又哭的 也不见她瘦点
All that running and crying, you'd think she'd be thinner.
Ethel 你好哇
Ethel! How are you?
有屁快放 - 我在想啊
What do you want? - Just thinking.
咱俩完全可以做闺蜜呢
I could see us actually becoming pretty good friends.
那啥 等你当上州长 咱俩一起住官邸的时候
You know, when you're Governor and we're both living at the Governor's mansion.
你想跟我一起搬进州长官邸住着?
You want to move into the Governor's mansion with me?
幻想下 半夜三更 咱们穿着睡衣
Think of all the late nights we'd spend in our PJs
舔着哈根达斯啊 看着Ryan Gosling撸一管啊
binging on Haagen-dazs, rubbing our beavs to Ryan Gosling.
《恋恋笔记本》男主角
你明白我永远不可能跟你住一起的吧 永远不会
You do realize that there's absolutely no way I'd ever live with you, ever.
自打我来到这儿 你一直都没让我过个好日子
You've been trying to ruin my life ever since I got here.
闺蜜你真傻 我都是闹着玩呢亲
Girl, you so crazy. It was all in fun.