脆莓公园（2012）

我在Pinterest上收集菜谱
Iba collect recipes offba Pinterest.
他说的没错 咱的生活很操蛋
Oh, he's right. Our lives suck.
还记得瘸腿老警官Pulaski吗?
Remember old officer Pulaski with the gimp leg?
那时他这样追我们
Used to chase us like this?
"嘿 狗♥杂♥种♥们 快滚回来"
"Hey, mother[Bleep]! Get over here!"
"滚回来 小狗♥杂♥种♥们"
"Get over here, little mother[Bleep]!"
然后我们崩烂了他的脸
Then we shot him in the face.
重开笑颜的感觉真好
Feels good to laugh again.
看到没? 你们就应该这样
See? That's the spirit.
我不是给你们看病 大伙们
Guys, I don't mean to play doctor,
但你们都得了"生活蛋疼"综合症
but you've all got a case of the "no funsies".
这就是交叉注射毒品的代价
That's what we get for sharing needles.
天呐 这熊说的没错 我真很无聊
Man, the bear's right. I'm bored.
我一样耶
Meba tooba.
我他妈开小面包车
I drive a goddamn minivan.
不如我们到镇子上闹点事 来点真乐子?
What do you say we hit the town and have some real fun?
很好 - 棒极了
Yeah! - Hell, yeah!
等等
Hold on.
你们是来把这只熊扳回正轨
You're supposed to be scaring the bear straight,
不是宣称它很厉害
not declaring the bear's great!
别扫兴 D仔 我们要沿着老路子闹翻天
Don't be a punk, D. We about to tear shit up old school.
跟不跟我们走? - 跟?
You in or out? - Uh, in?
嗨 小毛球 我的朋友们给你上完课了?
So, cubsy wubsy, did my homeboys scare you straight yet?
吃我一拳 死鬼
Suck it, cracker!
Denzel 可找到你了 我满世界都没看到你人影
Denzel, hey, there you are. I've been looking all over for you.
你没来和我一起排练 有什么事耽误了?
You didn't show for Shadowfax practice. Everything okay?
等等 这头蠢驴是尼玛谁?
Whoa, hold up. Who the [Bleep] is this hookey donkey?
我知道了 他就是头蠢驴
I get it! He's a hookey donkey.
我们是影疾 万马之王
We're Shadowfax, the Lord of all horses.
告诉他们 Denzel - Denzel 这家伙是你朋友?
Tell 'em, Denzel. - Denzel, you're friends with this guy?
别管Steve 大伙们
Oh, don't pay attention to Steve, fellas.
他只不过是这里的恋童癖 我们雇他来清马桶的
He's just a local pedophile we keep around to clean out the shitters.
快走吧
Now let's go!
回见 本地恋童癖Steve
Later, local pedophile Steve.
褐丘欢迎您
你们现在心慈手软的
You guys have gotten pretty soft.
确定还记得怎么犯罪吗?
You sure you still know how to commit crimes?
这不废话嘛
Of course we do.
我说 "我要小企业贷款" 狗♥杂♥种♥
I said, "I want a small business loan," mother[Bleep]!
借贷处
你敢说这张尊巴舞的优♥惠♥券过期了 狗东西?
What do you mean this Zumba Groupon's expired, mother[Bleep]?
私立学校
我说 "让我娃来你这私立学校读个书 瓜娃子"
I sabida, "putta my child in your pribata schoobada, moboda fuboda!"
拜托来个人帮我翻译下他的鸟语
Someone please tell me what the hell he just said.
你们肯定会爱上这地方的
Yo, your kids are gonna love it here.
这学校的戏剧学院相当不错
They got an excellent drama department.
举起手来 人♥渣♥们
Freeze, scumbags!
这地方真让我恼火 黑鬼太过密集
I don't like this at all. Way too many blacks in here.
褐丘最高警戒监狱
向右转 眼睛向前看
Turn to the right. Eyes forward.
下午好 先生们 我是典狱长小矬子
Good afternoon, gentlemen. I'm Warden Smalls.
电椅伺候
Electric chair!
不管怎样 我都会本着基♥督♥教义 公平公正地履行典狱职责
Anyway, I run a fair and honorable Christian prison here.
第一条规定... 话里不准带刺
Rule number one... no sarcasm.
喔 这规定好赞哦
Aw, that's a great rule.
好嘛 看来这儿有人不识抬举
Well, looks like we got us a rebel here.
尝尝这个吧
Try this on for size.
为毛打我?
Why'd you hit me?
因为圣经里说
Because as the Bible says
看朋友为你的罪过受苦 会让你的痛苦更上一层楼
it's much more painful to watch your friend suffer for your sins.
是啊 是啊
Oh, yeah, it is.
听起来可更带刺了 小伙子
That sounds like more sarcasm, boy.
不 拜托 别打了
Oh, no, please, stop.
只要能让你的嘴巴放乖点 小伙子
I'll break you of that sarcasm, son
我不在乎把所有警棍都用你朋友的脑袋打断
if I have to break every billy club over your friend's head.
够了 打住 天呐
Hey! Ah, stop! Oh! God damn!
嘿 狱长 您这款领结真心帅气哟 挨打吧 Malloy
Hey, Warden, that's a really nice tie. Take that, Malloy!
等等 等等
Ow! Wait, wait, wait!
不是我朋友会为我的罪恶受罚嘛
I thought my friend had to suffer for my sins.
我是在挖苦你呢 痴呆
I was being sarcastic, idiot!
欢迎来到褐丘监狱
Welcome to Hazelhurst prison.
我会保证你们在这里服服帖帖
I guarantee you boys gonna stay in line...
不然我就不叫典狱长小矬子
Or my name isn't Warden Tiny Smalls.
电椅伺候
Electric chair!
扳我回正轨是吧? 算你狠 Woody
Scare me straight, huh? Good plan, Woody.
等回家了 看我不把你屁♥股♥打得喷出翔来
When we get home, I'm gonna spank the shit out of you!
你不会回家 Malloy
You're not going home, Malloy.
你会一直呆在这儿 直到吸取教训
You're staying here until you've learned a lesson.
别怪我现在就冲出来打你屁♥股♥
Oh, you're getting an angry spanking now!
把我弄出去 Woody - 我... 不行
Get me out of here, Woody. - Well, I... no!
不 我决意已定 绝不会动摇
No, I made my decision, and I'm sticking to it!
再见了 Malloy
Good-bye, Malloy!
坚强点 熊他爸
Be strong, Papa Bear.
别回头 这叫爱之深 责之切
Don't look back. It's called tough love.
日 搞毛...
Oh, what the...
你他娘有啥毛病? 离我远点
What the hell's wrong with you? Leave me alone!
靠啊 我没记着以前的监狱这么恐怖来着
Damn, I don't remember prison being this scary back in the day.
别怕 Denzel 没啥了不起的
Oh, come on, Denzel. It ain't that bad.
哇 擦
Ohba, shibbit!
兄弟 咱会死在这里的
Man, we're gonna die in here!
冷静点 D仔 咱有四个人呢
Chill out, D. There's four of us.
只要咱齐心协力 绝对没事的
As long as we stick together, we'll be fine.
说得好 你们这些傻X
That's right, suckas!
我倒要看看谁敢惹咱"酷友帮"
Nobody's gonna mess with the cool friends gang!
谁先自告奋勇 嗯? 没人敢吗?
Who wants to step to this, huh? Nobody?
我想的也是...
That's what I thou...
他们都叫我"肉锤" 因为我长了个肉锤锤
They call me "Meat Hammer," because I got a Meat Hammer.
我指的不是锤肉的厨具
And I don't mean a tenderizing utensil.
我懂的 - 我指的就是肉锤锤
Got it. - I mean a Meat Hammer.
呃哼 - 裤子里的肉锤
Uh huh. - In my pants.
听懂了 - 算了吧
Following you. - You know what?
我直接跟你说清楚好了
I'm just gonna go ahead and spell it out for you.
我说的是我鸡鸡 - 晓得了
I'm referring to my dick. - I got it!
干嘛呢 贱♥人♥ 你叫啥 小子? [西语]
'Sup, bitch? Como se llama, ese?
我当然喜欢薯片和沙司啦 你们还有奶酪吗?
Of course I'd like chips and salsa. You guys got any queso?
别装疯卖♥♥傻的 小子 这位是Paco "拉丁王者"的领袖
Hey, watch your mouth, son! This is Paco, leader of the Latin Kings.
园林绿化公♥司♥起这种名字实在太怪了
That's a weird name for a landscaping company.
讽刺墨西哥人在美国打工
什么? 老子宰了... - 有人在吗?
What? I'm gonna kill... - Knock, knock.
是谁呀? - 龊屎牛
Oh, who's there? - Amish Hank.
哪个龊屎牛啊? - 老子戳死你
Uh, amish Hank who? - I'ma shank you!
哎呀 自打我上个舍友死了之后 这里变得好寂寞呢
Yeah, it's been real lonely in here since my last cellmate died.
怎么死的?
How'd he die?
医务室的说他是因为肛♥门♥外翻而死 也不知道咋整的
The Doc in the infirmary said his anus got turned inside out... somehow.
你们几个小子可以走了 - 好 不出我所料
You boys are free to go. - Yeah, that's what I thought!
没有监狱可以关得住"酷友帮"
Can't no prison contain the cool friends gang.
别挡我的道 - 你不行 小子
Move out my way! - Not you, son.
只许你的朋友走 - 兄弟 对不住啦
Just your friends. - Yeah, man, sorry about that.
我只找得到救三个人的路子
I could only call in favors for the three of us.
说好的"齐心协力"呢?
Hey, what about sticking together?
你现在唯一需要担心的就是
The only thing you need to be concerned about
好好夹紧你的屁♥股♥蛋子
sticking together is your butt cheeks.
你得呆在这里陪我的12啦
You gonna be doing a hard 12 in here.
我指的可不是12年的苦狱
And I don't mean 12 years of hard time.
我指的是我12英寸的... - 晓得 [约30厘米]
I mean 12... - I know!
是这样的 大家 谢谢你们来参加面试
All right, everyone, thank you for coming to audition.
你们都知道 我的前基友Denzel正在吃牢饭
As you know, my ex-best friend Denzel is rotting in a prison
因为他就是个顶级大混♥蛋♥
because he's a class-a jerk.
也就意味着你们其中一个要取替他
Which means one of you is going to replace him
做我"托尔金展"COS比赛搭档
as my partner in the Tol-Con costume contest.
比赛? 你在同城网上不是说"化装成马"?
Contest? Craigslist said "horse costume".
我还以为是福瑞控性♥交♥聚会呢
I thought this was a furry freak sex party!
这不是福瑞控淫乱派对好吧