脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S02E07

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:31 p.m.

我的答案是绝逼不行
The answer is hell no.
老子要让你暴尸街头血流满地
The streets will run red with your blood.
砖家们说冥王星不再算作行星的时候
So, when they said Pluto was no longer a planet
真是让我气爆了
well, that really ticked me off!
我疯了是吧?
Am I crazy?
我倒没看出来
Not from where I'm sitting.
知道还有谁喜欢冥王星吗? 我妹妹
You know who else likes Pluto? My sister.
你猜怎么着大哥?
Guess what, big brother.
咋啦小妹?
What, little sister?
冥王星不算行星了哟
Pluto's not even a planet anymore.
闭上你的烂嘴臭三八
Shut your lying mouth, you bitch!
不好意思兄妹拌嘴嘛
Sorry. Sibling rivalry.
她... 看起来是个好人
She... she seems nice.
我日啊
God damn it!
"明"兵野餐会
大家伙儿这集♥会♥真棒对吧?
You guys. What a great militia meeting, right?
看看咱们的新成员
Look at all these new members.
随便啦少逼逼快把民兵奶酪通心粉递过来
Yeah, yeah. Shut your face and pass the militia mac and cheese.
这货是特么谁叫来的?
Who the hell invited this guy?
我们绝对反... 反...
We are definitely anti... anti...
你到底是个啥玩意儿?
What the hell are you, anyway?
我也不知道呀
I have no idea!
这就挺不错啦 Bobby
This is awesome, Bobby.
咱的队员人数达到了史上最高
Our membership is at an all-time high.
跨文化兵团是不是感觉高端多了?
And isn't having a multicultural militia so much nicer?
我想是吧兵团不是要发表宣言什么的吗?
Yeah, I guess so, but don't militias need to make some sort of statement?
对的确要这样
Yes, you do.
首先民兵是不野餐的
First of all, militias don't have picnics.
那民兵都搞啥啊?
Well, what do militias do?
暴♥动♥啊你们怎么可能不知道呢?
Violent acts. How do you not know this?
你们看起来更像少数民族书友会
You guys look more like the Ellis Island Book Club.
Malloy 你这是干嘛?
Malloy, what are you doing?
闭嘴 Etheridge战士
Quiet, militia Etheridge.
让这只说话熊把话说完
Let the talking bear finish talking.
如果你们想玩真格的
If you want to be a real militia
必须抛头露面做点大事
you need to stand up and do something big
具有毁灭性的可以载入史册的那种大事
something destructive, something that puts you in the history books.
比如发明双头震动棒的那货
Like that guy who invented the double-donged dildo!
能让他闭嘴吗?
Can he not talk?
让全世界听到我们声音的时候到了
It's time to make a statement the world will hear!
没错算俺们一个
Hell yeah! Count us in!
好啊终于特么有点民兵的样子了
Yes! It's time we started acting like a real [Bleep] militia!
脆莓大讲堂州长候选人辩论
州长候选人辩论赛
我们的孩子考试成绩正在以惊人速度下降
Our children's test scores have been dropping at an alarming rate.
有何计划呢 Johnson先生?
What is your plan, Mr. Johnson?
主持人
听好了呆逼这块地盘上只有老子才能提问
Listen, chuckles. I'll be asking the questions around here.
你不行人家是主持人
No, you won't. He's the moderator.
不是喽老子现在是主持喽
Not anymore. I'm the moderator now.
♪ 我是主持人欢迎围观 ♪
♪ I'm the moderator, look at me! ♪
♪ 我是主持人万人敬仰 ♪
♪ Everybody loves me, I'm the moderator! ♪
♪ 我是主持人我是主持人 ♪
♪I'm the moderator, I'm the moderator! ♪
♪ 我就是主持人 ♪
♪I'm the moderator! ♪
下面请观众直接发问吧
Let's just take some questions from the audience.
朕许了
I'll allow it.
大家好啊
Hello, everybody.
俺是"少数民族书友会兵团"的大首领
I'm the leader of the Ellis Island Book Club militia.
俺们决定要刺杀新任州长
And we have decided to assassinate the new Governor
所以甭管你们谁赢了都得死
so whichever one of y'all wins, you're dead!
祝各位竞选愉快
Y'all have a nice day.
给我听着我对威胁不予回应
Listen here. I don't respond to threats.
一直都有人告诉我因为我是个女人所以应该放弃
All my life, I've been told that because I'm a woman, I should give up.
你听着我会...
Well guess what! I'm...
我将立即退出州长竞选
Dropping out of the race for Governor immediately.
不对不对不对我才会退出竞选
No, no, no, no. I'm dropping out of the race.
才不是我先退出的
No, you're not! I dropped out first.
我比你更有资格退出竞选
I'm much more qualified to drop out of this race than you!
轮不到你来说我不能退出竞选
You can't tell me that I can't drop out of this race.
有谁能帮忙叫辆救护车吗?
Would someone please call me an ambulance?
老天这家伙问题真特么多
Jesus! This guy asks a lot of [Bleep] questions!
Malloy? - 干嘛 Connie?
Uh, Malloy? - Yes, Connie?
你能加入我们的组织我真的很高兴但是...
I'm really happy you joined our militia and everything, but, uh
我觉着你那个暗♥杀♥州长的主意有些不妥
I'm not so sure about your idea to violently assassinate the Governor.
放心 Connie 不会有人受伤的
Relax, Connie. No one's gonna get hurt.
真的吗? - 真的
Really? - Really.
我就是想吓吓他们好让他们退出竞选
I just want to scare them into dropping out of the race.
要是我不能住进州长官邸谁也甭想
If I can't live in the Governor's mansion, neither can they.
相信我今天没人会死的
Trust me. No one's gonna die today.
今天某些人是死定了
Someone's definitely going to die today
只要Woody Johnson和Ethel Anderson依然是候选人
as Woody Johnson and Ethel Anderson's names will remain on the ballot
谁将死?
不管他们退出与否
whether they drop out or not.
也就是说他们中有一人会被选为州长
Which means one of them will be elected Governor
并转眼被杀
and swiftly assassinated.
我真是个小垃圾
Ain't I a stinker?
我是Ethel Anderson
Hi, I'm Ethel Anderson
本人绝不应该被选为州长
and there's no way that I should be elected Governor.
你问为什么?
Why, you say?
因为我是个死不悔改的狂暴酒鬼
Because I'm a raging, unrepentant alcoholic
而且我相信希♥特♥勒♥绝没屠♥杀♥犹太人但我希望他有
and I believe the holocaust never happened, but I wish it did.
请为Woody Johnson投票
Vote Woody Johnson for Governor.
大家好我是Woody Johnson 没必要兜圈子了
Hi, I'm Woody Johnson, and there's no use beating around the bush.
恶搞罗斯福炉边谈话
我猥亵儿童而且乐此不疲
I molest kids, and I love it.
儿童猥亵狂
禁止通行
并且我保证会把本州变成恐♥怖♥分♥子♥的天堂
And I promise to make this state a safe haven for terrorists.
我能说"去他妈的军队"吗?
Hey, can I just say, "[Bleep] Our troops"?
看我把自♥由♥女神像插哪儿了?
Look where I can stick the Statue of Liberty!
女性庇护所
家庭暴♥力♥不是个问题
Domestic violence isn't a problem...
而是个方案
It's a solution.
♪ 凯卜镇唱起歌♥呀 ♪
♪ Camptown lady's sing this song... ♪
♪ 美国歌♥谣《凯卜镇赛马Camptown Races》
♪ 嘟哒嘟哒 ♪
♪ Doo-dah. Doo-dah. ♪
选Woody
竞选结果已出
And the election results are in.
州长竞选
如果我当选我就脱离群众
If I win, I am dropping off the grid.
再改个不起眼的名字比如...
I'll change my name to something inconspicuous like...
剑火Rick - 想得真美
Rick Swordfire. - Yeah, good thinking.
竞选州长的胜者是...
The winner, and new state Governor is...
Woody Johnson - 什么?
Woody Johnson. - What?
呼你熊脸大死人
In your face, dead man!
以2:0选票之差险胜竞选
By the remarkably low count of two votes to none.
等下你给自己投票了?
Wait. You voted for yourself?
难不成还要我给天杀的女人投票?!
Well I wasn't gonna vote for a goddamn woman.
你好啊州长先生
Hello, Mr. Governor.
你找错人了我叫剑火Rick
You've got the wrong guy, my name is Rick Swordfire.
我认识剑火Rick 而你先生不是剑火Rick
I knew Rick Swordfire, and you, Sir, are no Rick Swordfire!
还有你 Malloy?
Et tu, Malloy?
恶搞拉丁语名言Et tu, Brute? 后世普遍认为
是罗马晚期独♥裁♥官儒略•恺撒临死前最后一句话
嘿谁让你不带我住州长官邸
Hey, you wouldn't let me live in the Governor's mansion.
好吧你可以住在州长官邸
Okay! You can live in the Governor's mansion!
你可以住主卧我就去睡马桶我不管
You can have the Master Bedroom! I'll sleep in the shitter! I don't care!
快叫他们停下 - 真的?
Just talk them down! - Really?
好的伙计们有好消息
Okay, guys, great news.
放下武器刺杀行动失败
Put down your guns. The assassination is a no go.
屁扯
Oh, hell no!
你不能把人家弄得欲♥火♥焚身了再把人家晾在那里
You can't get a militia all hot and bothered and leave 'em hanging like that.
是时候爆烂他的菊花了
It's time to bust a nut in his ass!
我是说打爆他的头
Uh, I mean cap.
我们可以包揽
We can do both!
住手
Stop!
Ethel 怎么... - 闭嘴 Woody
Ethel? What are... - Shut up, Woody.