脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S02E11

Part 2 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:31 p.m.

并夺回本该属于我们的圣土了
and take the sacred land that is rightfully ours.
什么圣土?
What sacred land?
褐丘超级大卖♥♥场盛大开张
我们给会说话的熊带来更多战利品
We bring talking bear more wampum.
橘子汁和大份的奶油蛋糕
Orange Julius and bounty of cinnabon.
别担心奶油蛋糕我会吃的一点不剩
Don't worry. I'll use every part of the cinnabon.
希望你们用切肤之痛好好回报了那些白人
I hope you paid the white man with much suffering.
不我们用信♥用♥卡♥回报了他们的慷慨
No, we paid with discover card.
什么? 你们是哪门子印第安人?
What? What kind of Indians are you?
反正不是好人
Not the good kind.
得啦我不碍你们眼
Okay, I'm leaving now.
这是我们的领土
This is our land.
如果想从白人手里得到什么我们就夺走它
If we want something from the white man, we take it.
等我们好好和他们谈完后?
After we ask nicely?
不白人是我们的敌人
No! The white man is our enemy!
他们夺走我们的土地杀戮我们的人♥民♥
He stole our land, he murdered our people.
还不让我们进他们开的超♥市♥
And he told us we can't come into their Malls!
仅仅因为我们是熊
Just because we're bears!
最后一句我怎么不记得
I don't remember that last part.
别管了他正在兴头上呢
Just go with it. He's on a roll.
是时候让我告诉你们什么才是真正的印第安人
It's time someone taught you guys how to act like real Indians.
肉串免费试吃
电视尽收眼底 | 礼品店 | 长保暖内衣
准备迎接奇迹降临之刻吧诸位
Get ready for magic time, people.
就在说话这档我正在引导宇航员们着陆
I'll actually be guiding the astronauts down as we speak.
指挥部这里是阿波罗号♥
Mission control, this is Apollo.
着陆正在进行四...
We are go for landing in four...
三...
Three...
二...
Two...
一...
One.
放起落架然后...
Extend pods. And...
奇迹发生了
Magic!
着陆顺利完成
And we have touchdown.
我们在火星着陆了
We have landed on Mars.
大功告成了诸位
Kurt Thoreau, everyone.
Steve怎么没来看?
How is Steve missing this?
他死哪去了?
Where the hell is he?
离我远点章鱼怪
Get away from me, octopus mime!
我想你们会喜欢人类第一句在火星上说的话的
I think you'll like the first words man will say on Mars.
这句话是我编的
I composed them myself.
这是我个人的一小步却是全人类的一大... 擦啊
That was one small step for man and one giant... shit!
要把手指接回去并非难事只要我们非常非常小心地处理...
We can easily reattach these as long as we're very, very careful with them...
怪不得手术室里不能装风扇
So that's why we shouldn't put those in here.
等等那个胖外星人看起来像是Steve
Wait a minute. That fat alien looks like Steve.
那个胖外星人就是Steve
That fat alien is Steve.
Steve怎么去火星的?
How'd Steve get to Mars?
Steve根本就不在火星上
Steve isn't on Mars.
这就是说登陆火星...
That means the Mars landing...
实际上是一桩忽悠
It's all a goddamn fake!
我就知道
I knew it!
我们现在正在历史上最大的忽悠之中呢
We're ass-deep in the biggest conspiracy ever!
保安们控制住他们
Guards, seize them!
什么嘛
Oh, what?
你们这些演员拿着几把玩具枪就想把我们给扣下?
You actors gonna hold us hostage with a bunch of phony prop guns?
靠这还原度真高
Wow, that's realistic.
脑子也是假的吧
Fake brains too.
呃指挥中心我们该怎么办?
Uh, mission control, what the hell do we do?
你们是演员即兴发挥吧
You're actors. Improvise.
我勒个去这是个有血有肉的...
Holy moly, it's a genuine...
外星人
Alien.
我没法呼吸了...
Oh, I can't breathe...
这大气里没氧气
In this space air.
我来救你
I'll save you.
看来出了点意外
Well, it's not what I planned.
就顺水推舟吧我不仅演了一出着陆火星的大戏
It's better. I didn't just fake a Mars landing.
还找了个"火星人"
I faked a martian.
你看我不仅是Kurt Thoreau 火箭科学家
You see? I'm not just Kurt Thoreau, rocket scientist.
我同时也是Kurt Thoreau 演技和导演大♥师♥
I'm also Kurt Thoreau, master showman and Director!
我敢肯定收视率绝对会高过69年的假登月
I'll bet the ratings will top our fake lunar landing in '69.
你的意思是尼尔•阿姆斯特朗...
So you're saying that Neil Armstrong...
参加69年登月的著名宇航员
我发现他时他就是个嗜酒如命又丢了工作的派对小丑
Was an alcoholic out of work birthday clown before I discovered him.
那你的意思是政♥府♥职员全是演员?
So you're saying all government employees are actors?
我也属于政♥府♥职员咱也当演员啦? 这里有摄像头?
I'm a government employee. Am I an actor? Are there cameras here?
此刻是不是有观众在看我?
Are people watching me right now?
我唬谁呢周二晚间十点半
Who am I kidding? 10:30 on Tuesday night.
脆莓的播出时间
谁会看这垃圾
Nobody's watching this shit.
除了航♥天♥局其他人都不知道
Only NASA knows. No one else.
连总统都不知道
Not even the President.
这项任务完成后我会把你们都送进太空监狱
After this mission is over, I'm throwing you all in space prison.
体验航♥天♥员平时的训练活动的冬夏令营
好哎是不是就像太空营一样?
Yay! Is that like space camp?
是的就是被强♥奸♥的机率稍高一些
Yes, but with just a tad more rape.
突发新闻
褐丘超级大卖♥♥场正遭到...
The Hazelhurst Mega Mall is currently under
一群印第安人和一只小熊的围攻
siege by a group of Indians and a small bear.
谁特么在乎这破事接下来是关于火星人的最新报道
But who gives a shit about that? We've got martian updates.
Kurt Thoreau博士出于研究目的出乎意料地...
In a shocking move, for purposes of research, Dr. Kurt Thoreau
火星登陆计划
命令宇航员将火星人带返地球
has ordered the astronauts to bring the martian back to our planet.
收到地面指挥中心
Roger, mission control.
我们用呃外星捆绑绳制♥服♥了火星人
We have subdued the martian with, uh, alien-holding space rope.
我希望他们能安全返航
I hope they make it back okay.
嘿警卫一枪结果了这个肥脑残好不?
Hey, guard, can you shoot this fat, dumb bitch?
太空舱很快就会着陆啦
The capsule will be touching down any minute now.
先提醒大家当它进入大气层的时候会制♥造♥一道眩目的闪光
But be warned... when it enters the atmosphere, it will make a brilliant flash!
大家全都闭上眼睛要不会被闪瞎的
Everyone, close your eyes or it will instantly blind you.
哗啦成功着陆了
Ker-splash! It's here.
你们可以睁眼啦
You can open your eyes.
大家保持微笑哦
Smiles, everyone.
我们要迎接异世界的客人啦
We're about to greet a friend from another world.
我... 我这是在哪?
Wh... where am I?
为啥我裸着身上还敷满泥?
Why am I covered in mud and naked?
自打太空营以后这种事就没发生过了
This hasn't happened since space camp.
我们得立即对他进行隔离
Uh, we must get him into isolation before our...
因为0.7的地球大气会造成他急性衰竭...
Earth atmosphere of .7 gives him acute failure of...
他会吃掉我们的JJ
He's going to eat our dicks!
♪ 放马过来 ♪
♪ Bring it on. ♪
棉花软糖和巧克力疙瘩现在都属于"说话熊"酋长了
Marshmallow peeps and Cadbury egg now property of Chief talking bear.
嘿那是给孩子们的
Hey, those are for the kids.
你说得对
You were right.
劫掠土地和杀死白人的确很好玩
Taking land and killing white man is fun.
你们大有进步啊
You know, you guys have come a long way.
我们早该在好多年前就接受这种人物设定啦
We should have embraced our stereotype many years ago.
呃好多月历前
Uh, many moons ago.
你们听着这里是购物中心你们不能住在这儿
Listen, you. This is a mall. You can't live here.
我给你们一小时离开少在这里闹犊子
I'm giving you one hour to vacate and get rid of all the horseshit.
熊猫快餐的菜单又不归我管
I can't control what Panda Express puts on its menu.
快给我滚
Get out now!
你骑在我们头上作威作福太久了 Todd
You have dishonored my people long enough, Todd.
我们要为自己的土地抗争到底
We will fight for our land!
美国著名的手工饼干坊
有人能告诉我"非凡农庄"的销♥售♥点在哪儿吗?
Can someone please tell me where the Pepperidge Farm kiosk is?
血液含铁大量流血就会闻到铁的味道
突然间我好像闻到了硬币的味道
I smell pennies all of a sudden.
这里就是我的秘密政♥府♥基地啦
So this is my secret government base.
是不是听完就湿了?
Any drips from the tap?
告诉我你要拿Steve怎么办就好了
Just tell me what you plan to do with Steve.
我们不会伤害他的
Oh. We won't hurt him.
那你们为什么拿他做实验?
Why are you doing experiments on him?
我还以为你们全是演员呢
Hey, I thought you were all actors.
里面那个不是演员他是美国顶级的科学家
Oh, he's not an actor. He's one of America's top scientists.
只是像这个国家其他民众一样受了我魔法的蛊惑而已
Fooled by my magic like everyone else in the country!
你们什么时候放Steve走? - 恐怕做不到
When are you gonna let Steve go? - I'm afraid I can't do that.