美式主妇

American Housewife S01E23

Part 1 Dec. 10, 2019, 8:08 p.m.

凯蒂我是塞吉
Katie! It's Sage.
9月
我想知道你是否愿意在秋季舞会上做义工
I wanted to see if you'd volunteer at the Fall Festival.
我这里午餐队伍大排长龙
I've got a five-hour block on the lunch-lady line.
豆腐火鸡肉酱堡
Sloppy Tofurkey Joes!
叫你怎能不说好
How can you say "No"s?
我押韵了回我电♥话♥
I rhymed. Call me!
秋季舞会
Ooh! The Fall Festival.
删除
Delete.
整个学年逃避强制性志愿活动
It's not easy avoiding mandatory volunteering
太难了
for an entire school year,
但我要逃避
but I do it.
1月
我这样做是为了所有的妈妈
I do it for moms everywhere.
我们每天都免费地辛苦劳动
We slave away for free every day.
我们为什么还要当无报酬的劳工
Why should we perform unpaid labor?
凯蒂
Katie!
想问下你是否能做冬季舞会的义工
Just seeing if you can volunteer for the Winter Festival.
没时间说刚吞下一只虫子
Can't talk -- just swallowed a bug.
得赶回家在它产卵前弄出来
Got to run home and get it out before it lays eggs.
发短♥信♥
Just send a message.
但你从来不回我的短♥信♥
But you never return my messages.
听起来真不错
Sounds good!
5月
凯蒂你在吗
Katie? Are you there?
学年要结束了
The school year's almost over,
你必须完成强制性志愿者时间
and you have to complete your mandatory volunteer hours.
我知道你在家凯蒂
I know you're in there, Katie.
你车的引擎盖还烫到不能碰
The hood of your car is hot to the touch,
所以我知道你刚回家
so I can tell you just got home.
凯蒂如果你不完成你的时间
Katie, if you don't complete your hours,
孩子们就不会把我们当成榜样
the kids will stop looking up to us as role models,
他们会去吸毒的
and then they'll turn to drugs!
好的我只要再保持安静五分钟
Okay, I just have to stay quiet for five more minutes.
自动洒水器就开了
Then the sprinklers go on.
美式主妇第一季第二十三集[本季终]
听我给书写的介绍
Hey. Listen to the intro I just wrote for my book.
多年来学者们认为他们
"Scholars have, for years, thought they'd squeezed
已经研究完了伊丽莎白一世时代的哲学
all they could out of Elizabethan philosophy" --
格雷格你每次给我读你写的高深玩意
Greg, does this ever work out well for us,
最终都有好结果吗
when you read me smart things you wrote?
有时候为了不听你和我上♥床♥
Sometimes, in order to avoid it, you sleep with me.
是的
So yes.
你不是刚洗完衣服吗
Didn't you just do laundry?
你不懂的是我总是在洗衣服
What you don't understand is, I'm always doing laundry.
除了洗碗时
Except for when I'm doing dishes,
其实是陶瓷类洗衣服
which is ceramic laundry.
这些衣服是给有需要的孩子的
But I'm actually giving these clothes away to needy children.
这是奥利弗在一岁生日派对时穿的
Oliver wore this at his first birthday party.
那时候他还不介意我们在超♥市♥给他买♥♥衣服
Back when he didn't mind that we bought his clothes from Costco.
安吉拉被拉去做义工
Angela got suckered in to volunteering
儿童衣物捐献方面的
for the children's clothing drive.
塞吉逼得她走投无路因为她没我那么狡猾
Sage cornered her because Angela's not as sneaky as me.
这个我留下了
I'm just gonna save this.
谁知道呢
You never know.
如果你是说再生一个孩子
If you are talking about having more kids,
我知道
I do know.
还有一年
I am one year away
泰勒就可以送孩子们上学了
from Taylor being able to drive everybody to school.
这就是退休了
That's called retirement, man!
我不知道一家六口挺好的
I don't know. It'd be nice for there to be six of us.
这样我们在乐园玩"飞溅山"正好坐一车
You know, so we can fill the toboggan at Splash Mountain.
不会有变♥态♥的陌生人毁了我们的照片
Not have some creepy stranger ruining our picture.
真是生孩子的好理由格雷格
Great reason to have a baby, Greg.
你不想念家里有个小宝宝的日子吗
Don't you miss having a little one around the house?
宝宝的味道小袜子
That baby smell and those little socks?
他们走第一步时看你的眼神
And that look they give you when they take their first steps
然后摔在你的怀里
and fall into your arms?
是啊
Yeah.
他们总是先会喊妈妈后会喊爸爸
And they always say "Mama" before they say "Dada."
没错
That is true.
你们别这样行吗
Hey, can you two knock it off?
然后他们学会了说话一切就完蛋了
And then they learn to talk, and it all goes to hell.
我在楼上复习我的芭蕾舞动作
I'm upstairs, going over my ballet routine,
就听到你俩在这里废话
and all I hear is you two blathering away.
不准"嘿"
?No "Hey"!
汇演就快到了如果我表现不好
My recital is coming up, and if I don't do well,
就不能晋级学习
I don't advance to the next level.
那我争取芭蕾奖学金进哈佛的计划
And then my plan to get a ballet scholarship
就完了完了
into Harvard is over -- over!
你真是一个愤怒的...
Wow. You are one angry...
不知道男芭蕾舞者叫什么
whatever a male ballet dancer is called.
芭蕾舞者
"Ballerino."
不可能
That can't be it.
我必须比其他孩子更加努力
I have to work harder than the other kids
因为他们学得比我早
because they started much earlier than I did --
因为他们的父母希望他们的人生成功
because their parents wanted them to succeed in life.
好了
Okay.
我知道快汇演了你压力大
I know you're under a lot of pressure with this recital,
但如果你再这样和我们说话
but if you ever talk to us that way again,
你会去哈佛
you're gonna go to Harvard,
但是去给医学院做解剖用的尸体
but as a cadaver in their medical program.
母女自♥拍♥
Mother/daughter selfie!
你在图片分享上发吗
Are you posting that on Instagram?
当然否则为什么要拍照
Of course. Why else would you take a picture?
我忘了我有多上镜
I forget how photogenic I am.
真没想到
It's unreal.
你们准备好上学了吗
You guys ready for school?
是的
Yes.
照我说的那样铺好床了吗
Did you make your bed, like I said?
-没 -我铺了
- No. ?- I did.
照我说的那样把作业装进书包了吗
Did you put your homework in your backpack, like I said?
-没 -我放了
- No. - ?I did.
所以你是我最爱的孩子
That's why you're my favorite.
你们两个上楼去完成我的吩咐
Now, you two, go upstairs and do what I said.
-刷牙了吗 -刷了
- Did you brush your teeth? - Yes!
你们没有安娜凯特上去盯着
No, you didn't. Anna-Kat, watch 'em.
看 "天选之女"决定出现
Oh, look -- the Chosen One has decided
施与我们恩惠
to grace us with her presence.
你是最受宠的就够糟了
It's bad enough you're the favorite.
别假装你很谦虚
Don't pretend to be humble, too.
妈妈喜欢我们一样多
Mom likes us all the same.
如果她只能在洪水中救一个人肯定是你
If she could only save one of us in a flood, it'd be you.
她会让我们像下水道老鼠一样被淹死
She'd let us drown like sewer rats.
我不希望你们生我的气
I don't want you guys to be mad at me.
我不会再是妈妈最爱的孩子了
I won't be Mama's favorite anymore.
太迟了
?Too late.
你永远都是你无能为力
You'll always be her favorite, and there's nothing you can do.
不是的
That's not true.
我完成后
When I'm done,
妈妈会和讨厌你们一样讨厌我
Mama will hate me just as much as she hates you.
多谢
Oh. Thanks.
强制性志愿者工作最差劲了
This mandatory volunteering is the worst.
这合法吗强迫人们做义工
Is it even legal, forcing people to volunteer?
我想他们主要是利用人们的羞耻感
I think they rely mostly on people's shame,
所以他们拿你没办法
which is why they've had such a hard time with you.
我再拼三周就行了
Well, I just have three weeks left.
真不敢相信你被塞吉抓到了
I can't believe you let Sage catch you.
她在健身房♥攀岩墙下方
She was lying in wait for me at the bottom
把我逮住了
of the rock-climbing wall at the gym.
你把小马先生送走了吗
You're giving Mr. Horsey away?
如果我们还需要它呢
What if we need him?