美式主妇

American Housewife S01E02

Part 3 Dec. 10, 2019, 3:43 p.m.

我在车上睡觉
I was sleeping in the car,
我解开了裤子普通胖子都会这样做
and I unbuttoned myself, like a normal fat person.
这不是变♥态♥
Not like a pervert.
让开我要休息眼睛
Scoot over. I need to rest my eyes.
你在车上睡觉吗
You were sleeping in the car?
你不懂我的生活
You know what -- you don't understand my life.
我一直做的就是为别人考虑
All I do all the time is think about other people --
你孩子们尤其是安娜凯特
you, the kids, especially Anna-Kat.
至少你可以休息
At least you get a break.
休息
A break?
我要上班你似乎忘记了
I go to work. You seem to forget that.
我工作一整天然后回家
I work all day, and then I come home
继续工作帮你照顾孩子们
and continue to work by helping you with the kids.
-我没休息 -得了
- I don't get a break. - Oh, please.
工作就是休息
Work is a break.
你去上班有午餐休息
You go to work, you have a lunch break,
午后休息休息室
an afternoon break, a break room.
你有一间房♥ 就是为休息准备的
You have a whole room dedicated to breaks.
如果工作是休息你不如回去工作
If work is a break, why don't you go back to work?
-也许我会的 -很好
- Maybe I will. - Good.
-别以为我不会 -好我只想你开心
- Don't think I won't. - Fine. I just want you to be happy.
也许我会回去上班变开心
Well, maybe I'll just go back to work and be happy!
你知道我是赞同你的
You realize I'm agreeing with you
但你的声音越来越大
and your voice just keeps getting louder?
因为我累了我需要小睡一下
It's 'cause I'm tired. And I need a nap.
固定电♥话♥
That's the landline.
如果有人想再卖♥♥太阳能给我
If someone is trying to sell me solar power again,
我就要对他们发飙了
I'm gonna go ape turd on them!
把我从名单上划掉
Take me off your list!
真的吗
Really?
好有人会去的
Okay. Somebody will be there.
不谢谢你
No, thank you.
什么事
What is it?
奥利弗被抓到在股市社团做内线交易
Oliver got caught insider-trading in his stock-market club.
这可能吗
Is that even possible
在一个假装这是钱的社团里
in a made-up club using pretend money?
很白♥痴♥ 但这是作弊
It's idiotic, but it's cheating.
他今天被停学了
He's suspended for the rest of the day.
你得去接他
You have to go pick him up.
我喝了双倍剂量的感冒药
I took a double dose of DayQuil.
怎样
So?!
我对兴♥奋♥剂♥吸收不好
Well, I'm not good on uppers.
对我有反作用
It has the opposite effect on me.
上下颠倒
Up is down, down is up.
我一直觉得我闻到了芒果味
I keep thinking I'm smelling mangos.
格雷格
Oh, Greg!
你还有正常的地方吗
Is there anything normal about you?
我已经兴奋起来了亲爱的开车不安全
I'm all jacked up, honey! It's not safe for anybody!
内线交易吗奥利弗
Insider trading, Oliver?
我曾经有一个人生目标
I used to have one goal in life --
在院子里能有一条人造溪
to have a man-made stream in my yard.
现在我有新的目标了
Now I have a new one --
别让我唯一的儿子进白领监狱
keep my only son out of white-collar prison.
白领监狱没那么差
White-collar prison isn't that bad.
格兰特·温莎的爸爸坐了16个牢
Grant Windsor's dad was in for 16 months.
他只是打壁球加喝得烂醉
All he did was play squash and get super-ripped.
所以我会确保
Which is why I'm going to make sure
他们把你关在普通监狱
they put you in regular prison.
这是我人生的新目标年轻人
That is now my new goal in life, young man!
奥图太太
Mrs. Otto.
查普护士
Nurse Chapel.
我觉得很奇怪你孩子接种疫苗的日期
I thought it was strange that all of your children
都恰好是他们的生日
got their shots on their birthdays,
所以我不嫌麻烦打电♥话♥
so I troubled myself to put in a call
给你们的儿科医生
to your pediatrician.
我想你知道结果
I think you know where this is headed.
知道快点说行吗
I do. Can we just get to it?
你不能捏造接种日期
You just can't make up vaccination dates
写在正式的学校档案上
and put them on official school documents.
我不知道妈这应该是邮件欺诈
I don't know, Mom. I think that falls under mail fraud.
情商真高奥利弗激怒我
Good instincts, Oliver. Aggravate me.
安娜凯特需要今天打♥针♥
Anna-Kat needs a booster today.
你得带她离开学校
You have to pull her out of class.
现在吗
Now?!
她可能全身是病
She could be teeming with disease.
全身是病
Teeming with it!
好吧查普护士你在这里
Okay. Nurse Chapel, you are here.
我需要你在这里
I'm gonna need you here.
你让我完全没保护的情况下到处乱走吗
You let me walk around completely unprotected?!
没什么大不了的只是MMR疫苗
It's not a big deal. It's an MMR booster.
麻疹腮腺炎风疹
That's measles, mumps, and rubella.
我有这些病我全得了
That's what I have. I have all of that!
你没得任何一种
You don't have any of that.
稍等
Hang on.
我忘了什么
I forgot something.
我不可能再为了一个孩子回来
There's no way I'm coming back here for just one kid.
我正在训练
I was right in the middle of practice.
你应该是在数学课上才对
You were supposed to be in the middle of math class.
你说可以不上数学课去打篮球
You said I could miss math today to practice basketball
因为我放学后要踢足球
because now I have soccer after school.
我什么时候说的
When did I say that?!
你今天签家长同意书的时候
When you signed the permission slip this morning.
我还以为那是别的事
Ohh! I thought it was for something else.
我无法控制你的想法
I can't control what you think.
什么
What?!
桑迪
Sandy!!
我不行了
I can't.
我受不了了不行了
I can't do it anymore. I just can't.
我有杜克大学的市场营销学位
I have a marketing degree from Duke!
学校给你了一个锁车器吗
The school gave you a boot?
不我用圣诞节红包在网上买♥♥的
No, I bought it on eBay with some of my Christmas tips.
对了多谢你的纯贺卡
Thanks for the empty card, by the way.
让我走吧
Just let me go.
我不知道你觉得自己是谁
I don't know who you think you are.
我也不知道我是谁
I don't know who I am, either.
我是怎么了桑迪
What happened to me, Sandy?
瞧你你有工作
Look at you. You've got a job.
你的工作有权力
You're in a position of authority.
你有目标
You have a purpose.
算是吧
Kind of.
我见过你
And I have seen you
坐在太阳伞下面的折叠椅上
sitting on your folding chair under the shade umbrella
打盹儿
taking a nap.
该有的你全有了
You got it all.
工作打盹儿
A job, naps --
所有的
everything.
我羡慕你
And I admire you.
我是不是好可怜
How sad is that?
而我只有一辆车仨孩子在上面
And all I have is a car with three kids in it
还有一股我无法找到来源的臭味
and a really bad smell that I cannot seems to locate.
我觉得不是我
I don't think it's me.
也许是我
It might be me.
我的生活何时变成这样了
When did this become my life?
你是对的协管员桑迪
You're right, Crossing Guard Sandy.
我需要回去工作
I need to go back to work.
下次我会叫拖车
Next time I'll have you towed.
我对她说出掏心窝的话却是这个下场
I open up to her, and this is what I get!
知道吗我要拿走这些小路障
You know what? I'm taking these cones.
给
Here.
你为什么只拿走四个
Why did you only take four?