美式主妇

American Housewife S01E06

Part 2 Dec. 10, 2019, 3:44 p.m.

Look at me! I'm taking a bite!
那是我的食物
That's my food.
-太好吃了 -好吧
- So good. - ?Okay.
你们感恩节在家还是出门
So, um, are you guys gonna be home or away for Thanksgiving?
在家
Home.
艾伦会去市区和儿子还有前妻过感恩节
Allen is gonna be in the city with the boys and his ex-wife.
他们依然一起过节和度假
They still do holidays and vacations together.
-你不去吗 -不他的前妻恨死我
- Don't you go, too? - Mnh-mnh. His ex-wife hates me.
恨死我恨死我
?Hates me. Hates me.
她觉得我抢了她老公
She thinks I stole her husband.
算是吧
Which I kind of did.
但不是故意的
But not on purpose.
你知道这种事不应该对别人讲吧
You realize that's not a good story to tell people, right?
我知道
I know!
所以我将孤身一人
So, I'm gonna be all alone.
我一个人
?By myself.
-是啊 -感恩节的时候
- Yeah. - ?On Thanksgiving.
接下来的周四这天
This coming Thursday.
享受清净与安静吧
Well, enjoy the peace and quiet.
我会的
I will!
好的
Okay!
-拜 -拜
- Bye! - ?Bye.
别想我妈已经让我一点就着
No way. My mom will already be on my last nerve.
我不要让维芙来点着
I don't want Viv getting on nerves
我根本不知道能点着的地方
I haven't even discovered yet.
触地得分
Touchdown!
你又欠我了五块钱
That's another 5 bucks you owe me.
孩子们这是我的助教瓦利
Guys, this is my teaching assistant, Vali.
瓦利这是我的孩子
Vali, these are my kids --
奥利弗泰勒安娜凯特
Oliver, Taylor, and Anna-Kat.
这男孩比我想象中要矮
The boy seems shorter than I imagined.
关掉电视
TV off, guys.
但我们在赌球
But we have a bet on the game.
感恩节的重点不是橄榄球
Thanksgiving isn't about football.
差不多是的
It pretty much is.
不喜欢体育的爸爸才会这样说
It's only not when you have a dad who isn't into sports.
我喜欢体育
I'm into sports!
说出三个橄榄球联盟的四分卫
Name three NFL quarterbacks.
我不必向你证明什么关掉电视
I don't have to prove anything to you. TV off.
格雷格
Greg!
我真拿你没办法
You're killing me!
你为什么总是要邀请助教来
Why do you always invite one of your TAs?
你是说邀请一个无处可去的外国人
You mean invite someone from a foreign land with nowhere to go
在我们敞开心扉的这天加入我们吗
to join us on a day when we open our hearts?
我最不需要的就是...
The last thing that I need --
我们真高兴你能来
We are so happy that you are with us.
我喜欢你的运动服
I like your track suit.
我得说你太美了
I must say, you are very beautiful.
我喜欢你的身材
I like your size.
好吧这太诡异了
Okay, that was creepy.
和你勾引我妈不相上下
It's no less creepy than you hitting on my mom.
我没勾引你妈
I do not hit on your mom.
你总是亲她的脸
You always kiss her on the cheek
想让她喜欢你
and try to make her like you.
你会说这个季节穿这条裙子太完美了
You're like, "Oh, that dress is just perfect for the season!"
为什么你学我时音调总是会变高
Why does your voice always get higher when you do an impression of me?
是她我的心在狂跳
That's her. My heart is racing.
我需要压力球
I need that stress ball.
你可以的
You can do this.
冷静
?Stay calm.
别被她激怒
Don't let her get to you.
为了安娜凯特为了我
Do it for Anna-Kat. Do it for me.
我可以看出你没明白为了安娜凯特
Okay, I can see I lost you. Do it for Anna-Kat.
好的
Okay.
放轻松
Relax.
她不可能把一个家庭感恩节
There's no way she can make an entire family Thanksgiving
变成个人秀
about herself.
老天游戏升级了
Oh, God. She upped her game.
感恩节快乐
Happy Thanksgiving.
那我就把这个重箱子拿上楼了
I'll just take this heavy bag upstairs, then.
我自己拿
All by myself.
太好了
Okay, great.
小心你的咔嚓手肘
Be careful of that clicky elbow.
你妈这是怎么了
What happened to your mom?
绝对没事
Absolutely nothing.
她在寻求关注
She is looking for attention.
你没问吗她可能真的受伤了
You didn't ask? She could be really hurt.
得了那东西都没固定在她头上
Oh, please. That thing isn't even bolted into her head.
-我应该去帮她 -不
- I should go help her. - ?No!
那你就中了她的招
You will be playing right into her hand.
我是好人
I'm a good person!
你嫁给我时就知道会这样
You knew what you were getting into when you married me.
好吧但别拍她马屁
Okay, but no crawling up her butt.
不要说我们真高兴你来了
No, like, "Oh, we're just so happy you're here!"
我不是这样说话的
I don't sound like that.
爸你说了什么吗
Dad, did you say something?
好吧
All right.
那么旅行还顺利吗
So. How was your trip?
不太容易你可以想象
Not easy, as you can imagine.
安娜凯特和我看了段视频一个人过安检时
Anna-Kat and I saw a video of this guy going through security
被发现内♥裤♥里有走私的猴子
who was caught smuggling a monkey in his underpants.
本来应该服了镇静剂结果它醒了
It was supposed to be sedated, but it was awake.
非常生气
And very angry.
我们真高兴你来了
Well, uh, we're happy you're here.
我...
I --
去看看感恩节
Check on the, uh, Thanksgiving.
别管了
Just leave it.
外婆出了名的会装
Grandma is known for pretending,
尽管她看起来受伤了
so even though she looks hurt,
记住重要的是她没有受伤
remember the important thing is that she's not hurt.
所以大家不要提外婆头上的攀爬架
So no one talk about the monkey bars on Grandma's head.
我喜欢看你的嘴唇一张一合
I love watching your mouth move.
伙计
Dude.
安娜凯特你不必捏你的压力球
Anna-Kat, you don't need to squeeze your stress ball.
妈妈没事
Mom is fine.
我们就像ET和埃利奥特
We are like E.T. and Elliott.
我们有心灵感应
Whatever happens to one happens to the other.
你和我一样
Oh! You're like me.
那你每次看到妈妈比爸爸高时
So you get a weird feeling in your tummy
你的肚子也会觉得不舒服吗
whenever you see a mommy that's taller than a daddy.
绝对的
Totally.
你过来下好吗
Can I steal you for a sec?
我
I, uh...
不小心亲了你妈妈的嘴唇
inadvertently lip-kissed your mom.
格雷格
Greg.
我根本不喜欢
I didn't enjoy it!
你为什么要说这句话
Why do you even have to say that?
大家不可能不说外婆的事
There's no way everyone's staying quiet about Grandma.
你不这样想吗
You don't think so?
想来点更好玩的吗
Care to make it more interesting?
赌了来吧
I'll bet on it. It's on!
我什么时候击过掌
When have I ever high-fived?
我还是空姐时
You know, when I was a stewardess,
每次飞行前都得称体重
before every flight, I had to get on the scale.
如果超过118磅他们就给你吃减肥药
And if you weighed over 118, they put you on diet pills
只让你飞泽西和底特律
and only let you fly out of Jersey and Detroit.
太可怕了
That's terrible.
不不这让我看起来美极了
No, no, no. It kept me looking fantastic.
妈这太丢人了
Mom! That's degrading.
妈妈我的压力球呢
Mama, where's my stress ball?
宝贝我们会找到的