美式主妇

American Housewife S01E17

Part 1 Dec. 10, 2019, 8:07 p.m.

我刚完成了不可能完成的任务
I just did the impossible.
你换了厕纸吗
You actually changed the toilet-paper roll?
不我教会安娜凯特自己上♥床♥睡觉
No. I taught Anna-Kat to put herself to bed.
但我喜欢她的就寝惯例
But I like her bedtime ritual.
给她盖被子掀开
We tuck her in, untuck her,
又盖掀开盖掀开
tuck her in again, untuck, tuck, untuck.
我仔细想了想做得好格雷格
You know what? I've come around on this. Great job, Greg.
想想看如果安娜凯特每晚自己入睡
Think about it -- If Anna-Kat puts herself to bed every night,
每周我们就多了10小时空余时间
that frees up 10 extra hours a week.
我可以重读蒲鲁斯特的小说但要看法语的
I could re-read Proust, but in French.
我为什么总是被坏小子吸引
Why am I so attracted to bad boys?
我撞上了尖头
I hit the pointy part!
我跟孩子们说了无数次要关上橱柜门
I told the kids a hundred times to close the cabinet doors.
别用分娩呼吸法了骂人吧格雷格
Forget the Lamaze breathing. Just swear, Greg.
骂人的话加上"脸" 效果一流
Any swear word plus the word "Face" works really well.
你知道我不喜欢说脏话
You know I don't like to swear.
所以孩子们才不听你的话
And that's why the kids don't listen to you.
在他们反击前痛骂他们
Until they bring back hitting, swearing at them
是唯一让他们听话的办法
is the only way we get them to do what we want.
-奥图一家 -维芙
- Hey, Ottos! - ?Hey, Viv!
就这样闯进来吧
Just barge right in.
提醒我了 "不退让法"的具体内容是什么
Remind me -- what are the specifics on Stand Your Ground?
对于入侵者可开枪
你给我们送礼物来吗
Did you bring us gifts?
不这是我的衣服别担心
No, these are my clothes. But don't worry.
都是高档货所以不适合你的风格
It's all high-end stuff, so it wouldn't be your style anyway.
"这是我的衣服"后的话没必要说
Could've stopped at "These are my clothes."
放这里一段时间好吗
Can I leave these here for a bit?
我买♥♥东西艾伦会生气
Alan gets annoyed when I buy things,
我藏在这里一直到他离开
so I hide the clothes until he leaves.
你买♥♥东西总是瞒着你老公吗
Do you always hide purchases from your husband?
当然了大家不都这样吗
Of course. Doesn't everyone?
不维芙大家不这样
No, Viv. Everyone does not.
而且为什么艾伦要介意你买♥♥东西
And why does Alan care what you buy, anyway?
你们不是很有钱吗
Aren't you guys rich?
不艾伦和我是富有
No. Alan and I are wealthy.
有钱人只是有船的普通人
Rich people are just regular people with boats.
我有个小筏子
I had a dinghy.
格雷格别让这次对话越来越蠢
Ohh, Greg, don't make this conversation any stupider than it already is.
但重点不是钱
But it's not about the money.
我没得到他的允许做事时艾伦会发脾气
Alan just gets cranky when I do things without his permission.
允许
Permission?
不是那种允许
Well, not permission exactly.
只是如果我想做什么
It's just, if I want to do something
他不喜欢他就不让我做
and he doesn't like it, he doesn't let me do it.
这就是允许
That's permission!
维芙婚姻不是这样的
Viv, that is not how a marriage works.
婚姻应该是一半一半
A marriage is supposed to be 50/50.
一半一半我死都愿意
I'd kill for 50/50.
七成三成我都美死了
70/30 sounds nice.
我明白
I hear you,
但艾伦没看到这些的话情况更简单
but things would be easier if Alan didn't see these,
帮我藏起来好吗
so can you hide them for me?
好吧
Okay. Fine.
谢谢
Thank you!
但这个袋子里的归我
But I get to keep what's ever in this bag.
我在想象你穿上我的皮裤的样子
I'm just picturing you putting on my leather pants.
拜
Bye!
请不要这样做
Please don't.
不做什么
Don't what?
插手
Get involved.
别管维芙的婚姻
Just stay out of Viv's marriage.
但维芙的老公太坏了
But Viv's husband is awful.
我们根本没见过他
We've never even met the guy!
记得你们都开车出车道吗
Remember when you both were pulling out of the driveway?
你朝他挥手他没理你
You waved at him, and he didn't wave back.
他从未跟我挥手但我不喜欢挥手
He never waves at me, but I'm not a waver.
你喜欢挥手格雷格
You're a waver, Greg.
艾伦虽说不是好人但插手
Look, Alan may not be great, but getting involved
别人的婚姻永远不是好主意
in other people's marriages is never a good idea.
错永远是好主意
Wrong. It's always a good idea.
看我怎么无视你的话
See how I disregarded what you said?
维芙就应该这样做
Viv should do that.
我不仅只是给建议我还亲身实践
I don't just give advice. I practice what I preach.
不管她
Screw her.
我去穿上这裤子
I'm gonna get these pants on.
美式主妇第一季第十七集
你俩是不是忘了什么
Aren't you two forgetting something?
生日快乐
Happy birthday?
我不知道试一下
I don't know. I took a shot.
有件小事叫做关上橱柜门
Here's a little thing I call "Closing the kitchen cabinets."
抱歉爸
Sorry, Dad.
下次我们会关
We'll do it next time.
你看到了吗
Did you see that?
叮叮你好
Ring, ring! Hello?
育儿杂♥志♥吗
Parenting magazine?
是我愿意写建议专栏
Why, yes, I'd love to write an advice column.
你为他们关上门
You closed the cabinets for them.
如果你想让他们听话就得骂他们
If you want them to listen, you got to swear at them.
如果你想打他们耳光
And if you want to slap them around a little bit,
我觉得那是眨眼坏眨眼眨眼主意
I think that's a -- wink -- bad -- wink, wink -- idea.
奥图一家好
Hola, Ottos!
非常感谢帮我藏衣服
Thanks so much for stashing those clothes for me.
维芙我一直在想
Viv, I was thinking about it,
-我去帮你拿 -然后
- I'll get your bags. - ?And --
你不如出去
Why don't you just go outside?
凯蒂你在这里
Katie, you stay here,
我们都只插手自己的生活
and we'll all stay involved in our own lives.
维芙过来坐
Viv, come sit down.
你不应该为了瞒老公
You shouldn't have to hide your new clothes
把新衣服藏在邻居家
from your husband at your neighbor's house.
为什么这样皆大欢喜
Why not? This way, everyone's happy.
你不快乐
You're not happy.
-我不快乐吗 -不
- I'm not? ?- No.
你得告诉你老公他不能这么控制狂
You need to tell your husband to stop being so controlling.
我不太擅长这种事
I'm just not great at that sort of a thing.
我们练习下来个角色扮演
Well, then, let's practice. Let's do a little role-play.
你是艾伦我是你
Oh. ?Okay, you be Alan, and I'll be you.
好
Okay.
真的会很好玩的
This is gonna be so much fun!
准备好了吗
You ready?
我就是这样说话的
That is so how I talk!
你怎么这么擅长模仿
How are you so good at impressions?
非常简单你只有两种声音
Well, it's very easy, because you only have two voices --
很高和非常高
higher and higher!
你和我一样有趣开朗
You're just as fun and cheerful as I am!
维芙你觉得我的新衣服怎么样
Hey, Viv, what do you think of my new outfit?
我爱死了
I love it!
维芙你最喜欢自己什么
Hey, Viv, what do you like most about yourself --
头发还是笑容
your hair or your smile?
我真的让你为难了
I've really put you in an impossible position.
别说了你应该是艾伦
Okay, stop it. You're supposed to be Alan.
这样不管用
This is clearly not working.
你又成了你
Ugh. You're you again.
这次你是你我是艾伦
How about this time, you be you and I'll be Alan?
好
Okay.
维维安
Vivian.
法兰绒衬衫加深沉的声音
The flannel shirt and that deep voice --
你像伐木工
You're like a lumberjack.
你为什么要买♥♥没袖子的毛衣
Why did you purchase a sweater with no sleeves?
因为我的胳膊很漂亮
Because my arms look amazing.