美式主妇

American Housewife S01E03

Part 1 Dec. 10, 2019, 3:43 p.m.

这里面有巧克力葡萄干
There are Raisinets in here.
为什么要把健康食品放在一包好吃的糖里
Why put health food in a perfectly good bag of candy?
亲爱的
Hey, hon.
不好
Oh, no.
今年某人又买♥♥早了万圣节糖果吗
Did someone buy the Halloween candy too early again this year?
不是的也许
No. Yes. Maybe.
是的
Yes.
对
Yeah.
给藏起来
Here. Hide this.
不等等好了
No, wait. Okay.
藏在一个我非常想吃时
Hide it someplace where if I really, really want it,
可以找到的地方
I can find it.
不要放在一个
But not someplace where
如果我意外发现
if I just accidentally stumble upon it,
会说"瞧糖果"的地方
I go, "Hey, candy!"
你总是给我一些我不知
You're always giving me instructions
怎么执行的指令
I don't know how to execute.
我知道
I know.
不行
No.
我知道在哪里
I know where that is.
美式主妇第一季第三集
亲爱的你看这个了吗
Hey, hon, did you see this?
为庆祝万圣节
"In honor of Halloween,
西港市将举办5公里僵尸障碍赛
Westport is hosting a 5K zombie obstacle course."
你可以报名做僵尸或参赛者
You can sign up to be a zombie or a runner.
这个地方真是令人难以置信
Ugh! This town is unbelievable.
他们将一个重点是糖果的节日
They take a holiday which is very specifically about candy,
变成了重点是运动
and make it about exercise.
这样不对
It's just not right.
我报名做僵尸
I signed up to be a zombie.
不是吧伙计
Oh, come on, man.
听起来很有趣
Sounds like fun.
参赛者必须通过障碍
Runners have to get past obstacles
还得一边躲僵尸
while dodging zombies.
和我一起去
Do it with me.
有时候你说的话
Sometimes you say things
让我们觉得我们是陌路人
that make me feel like we have never met.
我也要做僵尸
I want to be a zombie, too!
僵尸是什么
What's a zombie?
僵尸是起死回生的尸体
A zombie is a corpse that's come back to life
主要食物是人类大脑
and feeds primarily on human brains.
好的我加入
Okay. I'm in.
好的
All right, then.
奥利弗这周末你想和我还有
Hey, Oliver, you want to do some zombie-ing
安娜凯特一起去扮僵尸吗
with me and Anna-Kat this weekend?
万圣节是颂扬施舍品
Halloween is a celebration of handouts
在孩子中激励福利国家心态
and encourages a welfare-state mentality in our kids.
你不喜欢万圣节是因为你害怕
And you don't like Halloween because you freak out.
你尿在了爸爸的脖子上
You peed on Daddy's neck!
还流到了我背上
Yeah, it went down my back, too.
还记得以前他的尿有多骚吗
Remember how powerful his urine used to be?
他像只公猫
He was like a male cat.
-我这个地盘被他占了 -对
- I was marked. - ?Yeah.
-妈 -泰勒
- Hey, Mom. - Hey, Taylor.
还有维芙
And Viv.
维芙
Hey, Viv.
晚上好奥图一家
Bonsoir, Ottos.
泰勒你不是说
Taylor, I thought you said
你教一位朋友打网球吗
you were giving tennis lessons to a friend.
是啊
I was.
朋友邻居
Friend, neighbor,
减肥中心的成功故事
Weight Watchers success story, hello.
你们的房♥子都是这么舒适吗
So, are all your houses this cozy?
就这一个
Just the one.
你们为什么穿的一样
Why are you guys dressed alike?
维芙给我一些她的旧衣服
Viv gave me some of her hand-me-downs.
泰勒和我的尺码一样是不是好有趣
Taylor and I are the same size. Isn't that funny?
好有趣我一直在笑你有多瘦
So funny. All I do is laugh at how skinny you are.
一号♥码头连锁店
Pier 1!
真可爱让我想起我在瓦萨学院的旧宿舍
How cute. That reminds me of my old dorm room at Vassar.
-你一定要申请这所大学 -我会的
- Oh, you got to apply. - ?I will.
好的我让你想起更多的往事
Okay, let me give you more memories.
塔吉特百货塔吉特百货沃尔玛
Target, Target, Walmart.
我们搬来时就有那个了
That was here when we moved in.
好市多药妆店回见了
Costco, CVS, and see ya later.
-拜维芙 -拜拜
- Bye, Viv. - Bye-bye.
你这位闺蜜太老了点吧
Hey, kind of an older addition to your squad, huh?
维芙和我有很多共同点
Viv and I have a lot in common.
你们有什么共同点
What do you have in common,
除了不用花钱吃晚餐之外
other than never having paid for your own dinner?
她热爱运动风趣超级正能量
She's athletic, fun, super-positive.
你知道是怎么回事吗？
You know what it is?
她懂我
She gets me.
好的有问有答
Okay. Asked and answered.
她懂我
"She gets me."
你知道这是什么情况吗
Do you see what's happening here?
你知道我不知道
You know I don't.
泰勒现在的榜样是维芙不是我
Taylor is looking up to Viv and not me.
那个女人将她变成了迷你版本的
That woman is turning her into a mini-version
虚伪至极的维芙
of her fakey-fake-fake self.
也许维芙只是出于好意呢
Or maybe Viv's just being nice.
不是吧格雷格
Really, Greg?
放冰箱
The freezer?
我让你把糖果藏起来不是让它们更好吃
I asked you to hide the candy, not make it more delicious.
对
Right.
出于好意拜托
"Being nice"? Please.
格雷格才是好人好过头了
Greg's the one who's nice -- too nice.
亲爱的有时候好到傻了
And, sweetie, sometimes a little stupid.
他车上为什么总有喂小鸟的面包
Yeah, and why does he always have bread in his car to feed the birds?
-很奇怪对吗 -相当奇怪
- It's weird, right? - It's real weird.
维芙的事我没有反应过度吗
So, I'm not being crazy about this Viv thing?
一点也不过度
So not crazy.
你得阻止这段关系的发展
You need to stop this relationship in its tracks.
要我给她介绍下朝鲜和韩国吗
You want me to introduce her to North and South Korea?
这才是我想要的反应
Now, that's the reaction I was looking for.
你们直白不理智兼愤怒的意见
I can always count on you guys
永远不会让我失望
for clear, irrational, angry opinions.
我了解可怕的女人
Listen, I know horrible women.
我娶了一个婚外恋了一个
I married one, I cheated with one,
我想我也是一个
and I think I am one.
我要怎么对付维芙
So, what's my plan for Viv?
当面对质
Call her on her crap!
维芙很狡猾她会否认的
Viv is sneaky. She'll deny it.
但至少这样她知道你盯上她了
But at least she'll know you're onto her,
没人希望凯蒂·奥图缠着他们
and nobody wants Katie Otto all over them.
除了我
Except me.
我们刚认识时我暗恋你
When we first met, I did have a little crush.
是吗
You did?
你真好
That's sweet.
我喜欢这样不喜欢那样
I'd be into those, but not that.
好的
Okay.
维芙
Hey, Viv?
稍等
Just a sec.
我得
I gotta --
打扰下
Just excuse me!
很快聊两句
Just quick talk.
你能听到吗
Can you hear me?
得和你谈谈
Gotta talk to you.
不好
Excuse --
我得
Gotta --
维芙