美式主妇

American Housewife S01E05

Part 3 Dec. 10, 2019, 3:43 p.m.

They have never been to the Olive Garden.
多瑞丝说邀请发出来了琳赛·柯立芝刚收到
Doris says the Evites went out. Lindsay Coolidge just got hers.
我的马上也会...
Mine should just be right...
要点时间
It's just gonna take a second.
我刷新一下
I'll just refresh.
有问题吗妈妈
Is there a problem, Mama?
没有宝贝
No, Sweetie.
刷新刷新
Refresh. Refresh.
刷新
Refresh.
宝贝不如你去楼上把卡做完
Hey, Sweetie, why don't you finish your card upstairs, okay?
-好的爸爸 -真乖
- Okay, Daddy. - Good girl.
也许要花点时间
Maybe it's just taking a little bit longer.
-网上邀请函不是同时发出吗 -我不知道
- Don't all Evites go out at once? - ?I don't know!
互联网又不是我建的格雷格
I didn't build the Internet, Greg!
我没被邀请
I didn't get invited.
安娜凯特没被邀请
Anna-Kat didn't get invited.
对安娜凯特我是这个意思
Yes, Anna-Kat. That's what I meant.
真不敢相信我做了那些融入这些白♥痴♥的事
I can't believe all the things that I did to fit in with those idiots.
我脱掉的毛要全部长回来
I'm growing back everything that I waxed.
我有两周时间
Well, I got two weeks.
对
Yeah.
我不明白
I don't understand it!
整整一周我是友好凯蒂
All week long, I was friendly Katie.
活泼凯蒂
Perky Katie.
你全家都会喜欢的凯蒂
The kind of Katie who charmed your entire family.
我是彩排晚餐凯蒂
I was rehearsal-dinner Katie.
也许搬到西港是个坏主意
Maybe the move to Westport was a bad idea.
我格格不入安娜凯特格格不入
I'm an outcast. Anna-Kat's an outcast.
奥利弗变成了混账东西
And Oliver's becoming a douche.
凯蒂
Katie.
泰勒的人生目标是嫁个有钱人
And Taylor's goal in life is to marry rich
整天喝那些愚蠢的榨汁
and drink those stupid pressed juices all day.
对也许搬到西港真是个坏主意
Yeah. Maybe moving to Westport was a bad idea.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
怎么了
What?
别同意我的话我在打退堂鼓
Don't agree with me. I'm spiraling.
你的工作是说我们做对了
You're job is to say that we did the right thing.
这是咱俩关系的入门课伙计
That is Greg and Katie 101, man.
我很抱歉安娜凯特没被邀请参加派对
Listen, I'm sorry that Anna-Kat wasn't invited to the party,
但你不应该向她承诺
but you shouldn't have promised her.
现在我们必须去告诉她
Now we have to go tell her.
会伤透她的心的
It's gonna break her little heart.
-你去哪里 -去耙树叶
- Where are you going? - To rake the leaves.
-现在是晚上 -我知道
- It's nighttime. - Yeah, I realize that.
这样没人可以看到我
This way, nobody sees me,
我就不必忍♥受成为这里唯一一个
and I won't have to suffer the humiliation
做庭院工作的孩子的羞辱
of being the only kid in town who does yard work.
瞧
See?
-他是个混账东西 -对
- He's a douche. - Yeah.
我喜欢你的皮毛好亮
I like your fur. It's very shiny.
爸妈都来了从来都没好事
Both parents. That's never good.
亲爱的派对的事有问题
Honey, there's a problem with the party.
但你保证了
But you promised!
我做了生日卡还有别的
And I made a birthday card and everything.
宝贝很多时候小孩子的生日派对
Sweetie, a lot of times with the kids' birthday parties,
不能邀请全班
they can't invite the whole class.
花费太贵而且地方不够大
It's expensive, and there isn't enough room.
奥托姆的爸妈会租下整个水族馆
Autumn's parents are renting out the whole aquarium.
我漏了这条消息
Okay, that's a piece of information I was missing,
一切都不同了
and it changes things.
你知道杰·赞贝利没邀请我参加他在六旗乐园
You know what I did when Jay Zambelli didn't invite me
举办的生日派对时我做了什么
to his birthday party at Six Flags?
什么爸爸
What, Daddy?
我那天开心极了
I had the best day.
我爸妈带我去了水族...馆
My parents took me to the aquar...ium.
凯蒂有要补充的吗
Katie, anything?
不可能比这更让人伤心了
This couldn't be sadder.
你们愿意和我开派对吗
Will you guys have a party with me?
更让人伤心了
That made it sadder.
两个孤单的姑娘开着小马同情聚会
Just a couple of lonely girls having a pony pity party.
你们怎么来了
What are you guys doing here?
格雷格给我们打了电♥话♥ 把事情说了
Greg called us. He told us what happened.
恩特曼的路易斯安那焦糖蛋糕
Entenmann's Louisiana crunch cake.
如果这个没用
And if that doesn't work,
我就去冰淇淋店买♥♥冰淇淋蛋糕
I'll stop by Carvel and get a Cookie Puss.
好了安娜凯特你要睡觉了
All right, Anna-Kat, let's get you up to bed.
你还好吗宝贝
You okay, Sweetie?
我想是的你呢
Yeah. I guess. You?
我会好起来的
I'll be all right.
我知道什么能让你开心起来
I know what'll cheer you up.
我们在视频网站上看兴登堡号♥空难的视频
We'll YouTube some videos of the Hindenburg.
36人死亡
36 fatalities --
13名乘客 22名机组成员还有一个地面上的人
13 passengers, 22 crewman, and one on the ground.
好的
Okay.
看她的小腿多可爱
How cute are those little legs?
怎么会有人不让她可爱的腿走进派对
How could anyone not want those legs at a party?
还有我的
Or mine for that matter?
那么发生了什么事
So, what happened?
我不知道我哪里做错了
I don't know where I went wrong.
-不错吧 -完美
- Nailed it, right? - Dead on.
感觉我的菊花因为愤怒缩紧了一下
Actually felt my sphincter clench with rage.
凯蒂别这样
Katie, come on.
你真想和那些女人做朋友吗
You really want to be friends with those women?
当然不想
Of course not.
但我希望她们想和我做朋友
But I want them to want to be friends with me.
直到最近我一直在拒绝她们
Up until now, I've been rejecting them.
我以为
I just assumed
如果我给她们机会她们会希望我
that they would want me to be a part of their group
成为她们的一员
if I gave them the chance.
现在我这么放下身段
Now I put myself out there,
就像高中时应付霍莉·普莱特一样
and I'm back in high school dealing with Holly Platt.
-她也排挤你吗 -不
- She iced you out? - No.
正相反我高中时酷着呢
Other way around. I was super cool in high school.
但第一次我明白了她的感觉
But for the first time, I know how she felt.
如果我有时间机器我会回去道歉
If I had a time machine, I'd go back and apologize.
你可以在脸书上找到她道歉
You could just find her on Facebook and apologize.
但那样我得登陆
But then I'd have to log in,
那样会...
and it would just...
我刚扫干净你们会弄的到处是碎末
I just swept. You guys are getting crumbs everywhere.
说什么
Oh! Oh, what's that?
对不起我听不到你说什么奥利弗
Oh, I'm sorry. Oh. I can't hear you, Oliver
成熟点多瑞丝
Grow up, Doris.
我好喜欢耍那个孩子
I love messing with that kid.
我真爱欺负人这太变♥态♥了
I'm such a bully. It's super unhealthy.
我们不能就这样放过泰拉·萨莫斯
We cannot let Tara Summers get away with this.
-我们必须做点什么 -比如说
- We have to do something. - Like what?
还记得梅尔·吉布森的电影《爱国者》吗
Remember that Mel Gibson movie, "The Patriot"?
他们把镇民集中起来
When they gathered the townspeople,
关在教堂里
locked them in the church,
然后一把火烧成灰烬
and then burned it to the ground?
继续
Go on.
我打算在榨汁吧把这些妈妈们给烧了
I'm going to do that to those moms at the Pressed Juice Bar.
如果这些妈妈全死了
Okay. Well, you're gonna have to volunteer
那你必须在学校做很多志愿工作
a whole lot more at school if all those moms are dead.
好吧那你想办法
Fine. Then you come up with something.
事实上我想我知道什么办法管用
Actually, I think I know what might work.
泰拉·萨莫斯的房♥子
Tara Summers' house,
西港最刻薄素食者的家
home of Westport's meanest vegetarian.
我们不会蛋洗她家或是乱扔卫生纸
We're not egging her house or T.P.ing it.
我们还没坏成这样
We are above that.
但我们也没好到不让她的旗杆上升起老腊肉