美式主妇

American Housewife S01E10

Part 1 Dec. 10, 2019, 3:44 p.m.

格雷格你要下厨
Greg, you're cooking.
别为我做件贴心的事
Don't do something nice for me
然后让我花一小时打扫
that will take me an hour to clean up.
不我在研究一道历史菜
No, I'm researching a historical dish to drop off
以此申请西港历史协会
with my application for the Westport Historical Guild.
殖民洋葱馅饼
Colonial onion pie?
这是对西港以前
It's an homage to Westport's past
作为美国洋葱重要产区的致敬
as a leading onion producer in America.
我想这能帮助我的申请在人群中脱颖而出
I think it'll help my application stand out from the crowd.
人群什么人群
Crowd? What crowd?
就八个人讲保留区的泥巴路
It's eight guys talking about preserving dirt roads.
我知道机会不大
I'm aware the stakes are high.
我已经很紧张了你没必要雪上加霜
You don't need to make me any more nervous than I already am.
好的
Okay.
抱歉我迟到了
My apologies for being late.
你的打扮要符合你想要的生活
But you have to dress for the life you want,
而不是正在过的生活
not the life you have.
你从哪里弄到的钱
Where did you get the money to buy
买♥♥这件死贵的衬衫
that ridiculously expensive shirt?
我花了积蓄
I dipped into my save jar.
你为谁打扮的奥利弗
And who are you dressing up for, Oliver?
你的女友吗
Your girlfriend?
我必须回答她的问题
Her I have to answer.
我可不欠你什么
You I owe nothing.
我吃完了我可以去玩吗
I'm finished. Can I go play?
宝贝你没洗四次手
Sweetie, you didn't wash your hands four times.
有什么不对吗
Is something wrong?
没我今天不想洗
Nope. I just don't feel like it today.
她今天不想洗
She just doesn't feel like it today.
但还是可以洗一次的
Yeah, but she could wash them once.
手上全是鸡蛋
Her hands are covered in egg.
埃莉医生让安娜凯特的强迫症好了很多
Ah, Dr. Ellie's really helping Anna-Kat with her OCD.
她可能会成为普通的孩子
She might be on her way to becoming a typical kid.
上两步下四步
Well, two steps forward, four steps back.
但依然是胜利我们应该庆祝
But still, it's a victory. We should celebrate.
今晚我们出去吃饭喝酒
Let's go out tonight for dinner and drinks.
听起来好累
That sounds so tiring.
同意我一说就后悔了
Agreed. I regretted it the moment I said it.
美式主妇第一季第十集
你在做什么得付钱的
What are you doing? We have to pay for those.
格雷格你总是道德模范
Greg, you're always taking the high road.
我们买♥♥其他东西就是付钱了
We're paying for them by buying all this other stuff.
-这是买♥♥卖♥♥ -这是偷
- It's part of the deal. - It's stealing.
-试吃 -偷
- Or sampling. - Or stealing.
我们可以争论几小时
Look, we could go 'round and 'round about this for hours.
就同意这是试吃然后结束吧
Let's just agree that it's sampling and call it a day.
洋葱
Oh, onions.
菜谱上说要两蒲式耳
Recipe calls for two bushels.
妈妈爸爸佩妮刚邀请我
Mama, Dad, Penny just invited me
去她家玩
to her house for a playdate.
我可以去吗
Can I go?
佩妮要看你住在哪里
Well, Penny, depends on where you live.
你的房♥子是城♥堡♥吗
Is your house a castle?
妈妈别这么奇怪
Mama, don't be weird.
佩妮比我高一个年级
Penny's in the grade above me.
她在那边
She's right over there.
当然
Oh. Sure.
她先是不遵循洗手惯例
First, she skips her hand-washing routine.
现在居然说我奇怪
Now she's telling me I'm weird.
这是典型的普通孩子
This is typical kid stuff.
除了不讲卫生方面这真令人鼓舞
Except for the hygiene part, this is wildly encouraging.
是啊
Right?!
凯蒂
Katie.
试吃
Sampling.
她上厕所后都不洗手
She didn't even wash her hands after she used the bathroom.
我们开心死了
We couldn't be happier.
奥图家的低标准
Low bar in the Otto household.
而且她和二年级的学生一起玩
And she made a playdate with a second-grader.
人类二年级吗
A human second-grader?
那孩子的妈是谁
?Who's the other mom?
克洛伊·布朗·米勒
Chloe Brown Mueller.
你要送孩子去克洛伊·布朗·米勒家玩吗
You're going on a playdate at Chloe Brown Mueller's house?
-对 -慢着别急
- Yeah. ?Wait a minute. - Hold up.
克洛伊·布朗·米勒
Chloe Brown Mueller?
你们为什么要一直说她的全名
Why do you guys insist on saying her full name?
因为
Because...
她是克洛伊·布朗·米勒
She's Chloe Brown Mueller.
你见到她时就会明白了
When you meet her, you'll understand.
她是本地名人
She's a local celebrity.
图片分享上的粉数不清
She has thousands of Instagram followers,
她晒的照片全是说她是完美的妈妈
and all of her posts are about what a perfect mommy she is.
你怎会还不知道不鄙视克洛伊·布朗·米勒
How do you not know and despise Chloe Brown Mueller already?
我对社媒没兴趣
I'm not big into social media,
而且我主动避开说出中间名的人
and I actively avoid people with three names.
再说我从未在送孩子上学的地方见过她
Plus, I've never seen her at drop-off.
那是因为是佣人送佩妮上学
That's because her housekeeper brings Penny to school.
这是糟糕的为母之道
That is terrible mothering.
我家也是佣人送孩子上学
My housekeeper brings my kids to school.
但我和你是朋友
Yeah, but I'm friends with you.
在这个八卦满天飞的地方她是最差劲的
In a town full of gossips, she's the worst.
她给每个人发消息说我离婚
She texted everyone about my divorce
当时我都还不知道
before I even knew about it --
她还暗示是我的错
and implied that it was my fault.
是你的错你出轨了很多次
It was your fault. You cheated multiple times.
要怪她
That's on her.
她的朋友都太漂亮了
All of her friends are just so attractive.
她有点八卦
So she's a little gossipy.
我可以应付
I can handle that.
她还爱对人指指点点
She's also super judgmental.
她在图片分享上晒我的脏车让我出"妈丑"
She mommy-shamed me once by Instagraming my dirty car.
我一直在等完美的机会
I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity
让她也出次"妈丑" 但我能找到的最大丑闻
to mommy-shame her back, but the best that I found
就是她不回收她的酸奶包装盒
was that she doesn't recycle her yogurt containers.
应付克洛伊·布朗·米勒的办法
The way to deal with Chloe Brown Mueller
就是闭嘴进去出来
is to shut up, get in, get out.
等等刚才说的
Hang on, back up.
你翻了她家垃圾吗
You went through her garbage?
我翻得一团糟这样她会以为是浣熊
I made a huge mess so she would think it was raccoons.
我甚至用牙齿咬烂了一些垃圾
I even tore some stuff with my teeth.
是是没错
Uh-huh. Uh-huh, totally.
稍等
Hang on one sec.
继续说
And I'm back.
我完全同意但问题是
I totally agree, but the thing is...
稍等
Hang on one sec.
对不起这家里一点隐私权也没有
I'm sorry. There's like zero privacy in this house.
稍等
Hang on one sec.
你在跟谁讲电♥话♥
Who the hell are you talking to?
这不关你的事
Who I talk to is none of your business.
你真的有女朋友对吗
You really do have a girlfriend, don't you?
泰勒我以我耐用的个人退休账户发誓
Taylor, I swear on my robust IRA
我没有女朋友
that I do not have a girlfriend.
行别跟我说真话
Fine, don't tell me the truth.
我会自己查清楚的
I'll find out by myself.
你什么也查不到
You're not going to find anything.
你昨天连回家的路都找不到
You couldn't even find your way home yesterday.
我从足球场那里出的学校
I left school from the soccer field.
我完全迷路了
I was all confused.
重要家庭公告
Important family announcement.
离面包车远一点
Stay the hell away from the minivan.
我刚洗了车
I just got it washed.
你不是说唯一会洗车的时候