辛普森一家
The Simpsons S27E15
Part 1
Dec. 8, 2020, 12:17 p.m.
Wow, an indoor water park.
一个室内水上乐园
Hopefully, this will put the final nail in the coffin
如果顺利 这将是对湖和河的
of lakes and rivers.
最后一击
Well, as a mother, I...
作为一位母亲 我...
We all know you're a mother.
我们知道你是位母亲
As a mother, I like that wherever I look,
作为一位母亲 我喜欢能随处看到
I can see a lifeguard.
救生员的地方
I'm finding Nemo!
我在找尼莫
I saw heaven!
我看到了天堂
My head!
我的脑袋
Mom! Bart got my hair wet,
妈妈 巴特把我头发弄湿了
and I wasn't ready to get it wet yet!
我还没准备好弄湿头发呢
I'm afraid you're going in the kiddie pool.
我恐怕你只能去儿童泳池了
Oh. I've had baths that were more exciting. Baths!
我以前泡澡都比这个有意思 那可是泡澡啊
Oh, my God, a plastic ring.
我的天啊 这是个塑料环
Out of my way, you little twerps!
滚开 你们这群讨厌鬼
I want that ring.
这环归我了
Hey, uh, do you have any waterslides
嘿 你们有给比例更加舒适的
for the gentleman of leisurely proportions?
男士准备水滑道吗
Right this way, sir.
这边请 先生
This park specializes in extra-wide
这个水上乐园为现代美国胖子们
double-reinforced tubing for the modern American fatso.
专门研究出了双层特宽水滑道
Oh, well.
真是太好了
Cola wars veteran coming through!
可乐战争的老兵来啦
Woo-hoo! I'm exercising!
我居然在运动
Awesome.
真是太棒啦
Milhouse, how long you been waiting in line?
米尔豪斯 你排队多久了啊
You mean you didn't use the app last week
难道你上周没使用手♥机♥程序
to get your Slammin' Salmon line number?
拿到拳王餐馆的排队号♥码吗
What are you, Amish?
难道你是阿米什人吗
All right, time to thin out the herd.
好了 是时候清理人群了
Attention, bathers,
游客们 请注意
this is water park president Cal A. Bunga.
我是水上乐园的董事长 啊♂·真棒
Do not panic, but the pools are infested
请大家不要惊慌 但是水池里滋生出了
with those tiny fish that swim up your wiener.
会游进你们小♥弟♥弟♥的小鱼
Get out of the way!
快离开这里
Again, do not panic.
我再说一次 请不要惊慌
If you think a wiener fish has entered your dingus,
如果你认为 小♥弟♥弟♥鱼已经游进了你的体内
the only cure is to roll around naked in the snow.
唯一的治疗方法 就是裸身躺在雪里
Uh, Lou, I need a big favor from you.
卢 我需要你帮我个大忙
Oh, man. I... They don't train you for this at the academy.
伙计 我... 学校里可没教过这种知识
Well, they should.
他们应该教这种知识
Whee! Yes!
太好啦
Oh, dear God! Bio breach!
我的天啊 破坏型生物进来了
That poor raccoon!
那只可怜的浣熊
Isn't anyone gonna do anything?
难道就没人出手相助吗
He committed nature's greatest crime: Coming inside.
他犯下了自然生物的重罪 进屋
No heartbeat.
他没有心跳了
Finally, a chance to use my online CPR training.
我终于有机会 用在网上学到的 心肺复苏知识了
One, two, three, four, five.
一 二 三 四 五
One, two, three, four, five.
一 二 三 四 五
Lisa has a boyfriend!
# 丽莎有男朋友啦 #
Lisa has a boyfriend!
# 丽莎有男朋友啦 #
Oh, a boyfriend?
她有男朋友了
And raccoons are such good providers.
而且浣熊还是个好父亲呢
Come on, come on.
拜托 醒醒
You have so much more trash to eat.
你还有好多垃圾没吃呢
Steal one more breath, noble bandit.
再呼吸一口吧 高贵的强盗
It worked. I saved you.
居然起作用了 我救了你的命
My first rescue.
这可是我第一次急救呢
And my first real kiss.
这也是我真正的初吻
She'd have chosen me if I was wearing a real bathing suit.
如果我穿着真正的泳裤 她一定会选我的
For once, a life saved
这一次 春田镇水上乐园
at a Springfield water park,
发生了一件 拯救性命的故事
where a quick-thinking second grader
这是一位机智的小学二年级学生
performed emergency CPR on a drowning nuisance animal,
她对一只溺水的动物 实施了紧急心肺复苏救助
while dozens of unheroic onlookers just stood around.
而一大堆胆怯的围观者 却只是袖手旁观
Where was Channel Six news?
而当时 第六频道记者在做什么呢
Filming gas pumps so their ever-changing prices.
他们在拍摄加油站 以此保持油价不变
Which accomplishes what? I don't know.
此次任务是否成功呢 我也不知道
There's eight minutes left.
你还有八分钟呢
Uh, did we do gas prices?
我们报道过油价了吗
Yes!
说过了
We saw you on the picture radio.
我们在画面电台上看到你啦
They chyroned your name.
你的名字出现在屏幕上了呢
They described you as "Local Girl."
他们形容你是"本地女孩"
Hubba, hubba.
你真是棒极了
They sure got that right.
这一点他们说对了
Lisa, it looks like you're the perfect student to look after.
丽莎 看来你是放春假时
Nibbles the hamster here during spring break.
照顾太空仓鼠的最佳学生人选
I'd take him with me,
我很想把他带在身边
but I'm doing Jell-O shots with former students.
但我要和以前的学生喝果冻酒
This spring break, I'm gonna go wild with responsibility!
在此次的春假中 我将会大展身手责任感啦
My dad's spending spring break in a cage, too.
我爸爸也是在笼子里度过春假
And for saving that raccoon, I got the opposite of teasing.
为了拯救那只浣熊 我表现得特别认真
I bet the Germans have a word for it, like, uh,
我打赌德国人一定会评价此事
gerstronkenplatzen or something
比如干得漂亮之类的
I wish the Germans had a word for this terrible traffic.
我希望德国人能评价一下 这里糟糕的交通
And so ends the moment being about me.
然后关于我的事情 就讨论到这里了
What's going on, Chief?
发生什么事了 警长
Oh, nasty car crash.
出现了糟糕的车祸
Can't let traffic through
在清洁人员打扫干净之前
until the cleanup crew mops up this mess.
我们都不能放行车辆了
Which is a problem,
这可是个麻烦
because they're stuck in traffic behind you.
因为清洁人员就堵在你后面了
Okay, who did that?!
好了 这是谁扔的
We need to get home.
我们得回家啊
I left my father-in-law on the sofa.
我把公公留在沙发上了
He's got to be turned.
得有人帮他翻身啊
Yeah, well, that ain't gonna happen.
好吧 那我也没办法
Not unless you clean up this accident scene.
除非你把车祸现场打扫干净
Actually, seriously, could you do that?
事实上 说真的 你能打扫一下吗
Hmm, I don't know.
我也不知道
I'm one of those people who doesn't like
我是那种不想因为 看到可怕的景象
being traumatized by horrifying sights.
而留下心灵阴影的人
Marge, do you know why I became a cop?
玛姬 你知道我为何要当警♥察♥吗
If you do, could you tell me?
如果你知道 能告诉我吗
'Cause it's... it's really dangerous.
因为这工作真是太危险了
B... But these crime scene cleanups, they're totally safe.
但打扫犯罪现场的工作 是绝对安全的
All the bad people are dead or, uh, at large.
因为所有的坏人都已经死了 或者差不多都死了
So give it a shot.
所以你就试试吧
Please. Please, Mom.
拜托啦 妈妈
Oh, all right.
好吧
There you go. Spick and span.
好啦 现在焕然一新了
Wow, you even made the homeless guy look nice.
就连无家可归的人 都变得好看了
Yeah, still crazy though.
是啊 但我还是个疯子
You know, Marge, uh, you ever want
你知道吗 玛姬 如果你想要
some fast extra cash, we are always
尽快多赚一些外块 我们一直
looking for crime scene cleaner-uppers.
在招聘犯罪现场清理人员哦
You know what they say: Crime always pays.
俗话说得好 罪犯终会付出代价
Plus, you can keep any money you find,
而且 你找到任何钱 你都可以留着
and any jewelry that isn't monogrammed.
那些没刻名字的首饰 你也可以留着
Hello, little girl.
你好 小女孩
Oh, does your hamster have Tyzzer's disease?
你的仓鼠得泰热氏病了吗
That would've been interesting,
如果他得了 那才有意思呢
but I swabbed him for Tyzzer's and it came up negative.
但我用药签检测过了 他并没有得病
My. You certainly know a lot about animals.
天啊 你还真了解动物呢
That's just it, I do.
我确实很了解动物
I saved a raccoon's life the other day.
有次 我还救了一只浣熊呢
It was the best feeling I've ever had.
那是我做过最棒的事情
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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