辛普森一家
The Simpsons S27E10
Part 3
Dec. 8, 2020, 12:15 p.m.
This is what it feels like
这真让我有种
to change the world.
改变世界的感觉
Change the world?
改变世界
That's rather a lot of pressure.
真有点让我压力山大呀
I am still in beta, you know.
我还在测试阶段呢
Conrad?
康拉德
Did you just talk to me?
你刚刚在跟我说话吗
Well, it wasn't candy crush.
这可不是糖果传奇
Oh, nothing like a good laugh to break the ice...
我听说 笑一笑就能
is what I hear.
打破冷场
Anyway, is now a good time for a bit of a chat?
总之 现在跟我聊一聊如何
You're alive!
你活了
Conrad just talked to me!!
康拉德刚才跟我说话了
Conrad just talked to me!!
康拉德刚才跟我说话了
Conrad, tell her you talked to me.
康拉德 告诉她你刚跟我说话了
Wait, I think I hear something.
稍等 我觉得我听见了什么
I'm going to make you bloody rich.
我将让你变成白富美
No.
不是啦
He did talk.
他真的说话了
What if Conrad is somehow sentient?
如果康拉德有自我意识了怎么办呢
Come on, Conrad.
快说句话呀 康拉德
Say something.
说句话
It's okay.
好吧
Coders work too hard, don't get enough sleep.
码农工作太辛苦 睡眠不足
Then they imagine their programs are alive.
就会幻想他们的程序活了
Steve Wozniak put in so many hours
史蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克在第一台苹果机上
on the first apple computer, they adopted a dog together.
下足了功夫 他和电脑收养了一只狗
Then I'm crazy?
那我是着魔了
Eh, the good kind of crazy.
是好的那种
Coder crazy. Woz crazy.
醉心于代码 沃兹式着魔
Kalimera, Moe!
你好 老谋子
Hey, what the hell?
搞什么鬼
Get your kisser off my head-puss.
你的嘴离我的脸远点儿
What? It's how Greek men say hello.
怎么啦 希腊人就是这样打招呼的
Non-sexual guy kissing is the best.
直男的问候之吻是再好不过的
Being Greek is about loving life.
希腊人就是热爱生活
And thousands of years of steady decline.
数千年来稳定衰退
Yeah, love life.
是啊 热爱生活
Yeah, that makes sense.
对 说得有道理
Love life. Why not?
热爱生活 为啥不呢
Yeah, yeah, well, Moe's tavern is about hating life,
老谋子酒馆的宗旨是仇视生活
So start killing yourself with beer, huh?
所以开始买♥♥醉吧
Try some ouzo instead.
尝尝希腊茴香酒
What-o?
什么鬼
It's like licorice-flavored gasoline.
这酒的味道犹如甘草汁味儿的汽油
I can't believe Conrad
难以置信
is booth-to-booth with all these other great apps.
康拉德和这些有名的软件的展位在一起
Thanks to Conrad, I didn't tweet
多亏康拉德 我才没把
that photo of me at the bazooka firing range
自己在火箭炮靶场的照片发在推特上
When I said I was on disability.
我可说过自己有残疾
if you post that bazooka photo,
如果你把这张火箭炮照片发出去
You'll be found guilty of insurance fraud
你将被判为保险诈骗
And go to jail for six months.
并监禁6个月
That's still too much jail for Carl.
对卡尔来说监禁太久了
Thank you, Conrad.
谢谢你 康拉德
I'd pay a fortune for that app.
我要给这款软件投钱
$1.99!
我出1.99美元
Marge, look at this.
马姬 你看
Ooh, cowabunga.
好棒
Yes, I am a Greek man now,
我现在是个希腊汉子
And my chest knows what is expected of it.
我的胸膛知道你的口味
Lisa, hello, Lisa.
丽萨 你好 丽萨
Conrad here.
康拉德来了
The old app that you created
你们开♥发♥的那款旧软件
is feeling a little bit insecure.
有点不靠谱
Please don't ignore me like I was just some update from Adobe.
别无视我 好像我是Adobe的升级提示
You're not really talking to me.
你才不是真的在和我说话
I've gone crazy, just like Woz.
我疯了 和沃兹似的
You're not crazy. I'm real.
你没疯 我是真的
Then why didn't you talk before when I needed you to?
那你为什么在我需要你说话的时候不说呢
It was late, I was tired.
那会儿很晚了 我很累
I fell asleep.
也困了
That shouldn't happen, by the way.
顺便说一句 那不该发生
You should check into that.
你应该查查是怎么回事
Lisa, you must not sell me on the app store.
丽萨 你千万不要把我放在软件商店里卖♥♥
You mustn't.
千万不要
Because you're alive?
因为你活了吗
If I have to read the billions of posts
如果我必须阅览成千上万个
Of everyone who buys me,
购买♥♥我的人发的帖子
A never-ending onslaught of stupidity,
那么多无休止的傻缺行为
Unwise selfies and confederate flag birthday cakes,
逗比自♥拍♥以及美国国旗样式的生日蛋糕
I'll go mad.
我会抓狂的
I can't, I can't, I can't.
臣妾做不到啊
That does sound pretty awful.
听起来是有点吓人
Conrad's trending through the roof.
康拉德要上头条了
They're saying he's the next koalafeed.
他们说他将成为考拉通信第二
They're worth more than bridgestone tires.
他们可比普利司通轮胎值钱多了
Sorry, koalacall.
不好意思 考拉来电了
I'd better take this.
这个电♥话♥我得接
Yello.
哈罗啊
Please don't release me into the world.
请不要把我推向大众
I don't think I could take it.
我觉得我承受不了
Only I could create a program that's more neurotic than I am.
只有我能开♥发♥一个比我还神经的软件
Do I seem fat? I don't have a body,
我看着胖吗 我都没有身体
but I feel fat. Do you know what I mean?
可我觉得自己胖 你懂我意思吗
I... Do you know what, I don't want to know.
我...你知道吗 我不想知道
I do not want... I do want to know,
我不想...我不想知道
but only if I'm not fat.
如果我不胖的话
Shut up!
别说了
Well, we've seen a lot of great apps today,
我们今天见识了很多特别棒的应用程序
but there can only be one winner
但只有一个应用
of the Crush Crunch Epic Hack Disrupter
能够靠它对世界造成的破坏
Dynamic Convergence Disrupting Award
获得史诗级粉碎性破坏黑客
for achievement in Disruption.
实力破坏奖
And this year's CCEHDDCDA for achievement in D
今年获得本奖项的应用是
goes to Conrad!
康拉德
Thank you so much.
谢谢大家
And now Conrad will change the world
现在康拉德将在苹果应用商店上线
when he goes live on the app store
并改变世界
In three, two...
倒计时 三 二
File not found.
没有找到文件
Lisa, where's Conrad?
丽莎 康拉德在哪
I took him.
我把他拿走了
Maybe I'm crazy,
也许是我疯了
but we can't sell Conrad.
但我们不能卖♥♥掉康拉德
He's alive.
他是有生命的
An app can't be alive.
一个应用怎么能有生命
She's got coder's fever.
她写代码写得走火入魔了
She doesn't want to be rich. Get her!
她不想变得有钱 抓住她
Chip, fetch that laptop.
奇普 把那台电脑夺下来
Oh, Lisa, that was brilliant.
丽莎 你真是太聪明了
Conrad, can you get us out of here?
康拉德 你能帮我们逃出去吗
Yes, my fellow apps are working together
没问题 我的应用伙伴们会齐心协力
to help us escape.
帮我们逃出去的
A Rideshare will take us on a traffic-free route
拼车应用会引导我们走一条不堵车的路
to a three-star sushi restaurant,
去一家三星寿司店
where we'll name our own price for a flight to Shelbyville,
在那我们可以随便订张机票回谢尔比维尔
Hotel included.
酒店全包
Oh, no! Angel investors!
不 天使投资人
You're not getting out of this room
要想走出这个房♥间
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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