辛普森一家

The Simpsons S27E10

Part 2 Dec. 8, 2020, 12:15 p.m.

Now with you out of work,
现在你没了工作
we're going to have to watch every penny.
咱们得一块钱当两块花了
If only someone could have warned me
要是有人能提醒我
about the terrible repercussions
因一时冲动在网上
of one impulsive online comment.
发评论的后果就好了
So then I thought, "What if there was an app
然后我就想要是能有一个应用
that could have warned my mom not to post the comment
能提醒我妈妈不要发那条
that got my dad fired?"
害我爸被解雇的评论就好了
My app would predict the actual consequences
我的应用能在大家发布网络消息前
of your online posts before you hit send,
预测真实的后果
protecting you from making mistakes you'll regret forever.
保护大家不会做出后悔终生的决定
That is genius.
这主意太棒了
But it's almost impossible to program.
不过要编出来几乎不可能
The data acquisition, the A.I.
数据采集还有AI
But with the right team of brilliant young coders...
但如果有年轻有实力的程序员鼎力相助
I'm in!
我加入
We're all in!
我们都加入
No, you're not. You're all terrible.
你们不行都是猪队友
Me and Lisa are gonna make this app
我和丽莎会跟我认识的优秀程序员
with good programmers I know.
编这个应用
You guys will be spending the rest of the semester
这学期你们都去
doing mandatory crossfit.
进行强制性混合体能训练
No rep!
无效
I said no rep!
我说了无效
Wow, I've never seen so many face piercings.
我从没见过这么多脸部穿刺
How does that one wink?
那位要怎么眨眼啊
We did include one man in the spirit of gender tokenism.
我们有一位男性做做男女平等的表面文章
Yes, every single thing I say offends them.
是的我说的每个字都会冒犯她们
Who are you calling "Them"?!
你说谁是"她们"
Lisa, if you're coming with us
丽莎你要是想跟我们一起
into the male-dominated tech world,
进入男性主导的科技世界
you're gonna need to work twice as hard and be twice as tough.
就必须加倍努力加倍坚强
I can do it. I can be tough.
我能做到我能变坚强
Being tough comes from inside.
变坚强是要发自内心的
First step, change your outside.
第一步要改变外在
Mmm, blue.
蓝的好了
Let the carpal tunnel begin.
鼠标手放马过来吧
Computers?
电脑
Pasty weirdos?
脸色苍白的怪人
Backslashes?!
反斜线
Goth Lisa?!
哥特式丽莎
What's going on here?
到底怎么回事
They're coders.
他们是程序员
We're creating an app to keep people
我们正在开♥发♥一款应用防止人们
from ruining their lives on social media.
在社交媒体上毁了自己的生活
We built a mainframe that scans the entire internet,
我们造了一台主机可以扫描整个网络
logging every online disaster and its repercussions.
记录每个网络灾难和引发的后果
he screwed up.
他完蛋了
These examples will teach the app to actually anticipate
这些例子会让手♥机♥应用学会真正预测
The negative consequences of impulsive posts.
那些一时冲动发布的内容所造成的负面后果
In a way, we're teaching a computer to predict the future.
某种程度上我们在教电脑预测未来
Young lady, what have I told you about crossing the line
姑娘我不是跟你说了
From science fact to science fiction?
科学和科幻之间的区别吗
Relax, dad.
放轻松爸爸
All we're trying to do is demo a build
我们是想建构一个程序
For the appcrush convention.
参加应用传奇大会
If we can solve our backend server issues.
如果我们能解决后台服务器的问题
And maximize our query speed.
最大限度地提高我们的查询速度
Then we can get hands-on write-ups from Doingdoing.
然后我们就能得到Doingdoing的专栏报导
And Jezebot.
还有Jazebot
And our ama subreddit will be trending.
Reddit上我们的分类信息提问会上热门
Giga-trending!
成为最热话题
I hate the modern world and all its crazy words.
我讨厌现代社会和现在疯狂的词汇
Siri, tell Amazon to drone me a beer.
Siri 让亚马逊派无人机给我送瓶啤酒来
I've only had one job my whole life
在我一生中只有一份工作
that ever made sense to me.
对我意义非凡
I was 14.
那时我14岁
I felt valuable.
让我感觉到自己的价值
My work meant something.
我的工作很有意义
I wonder if that place is still there.
我想知道那地方是不是还在那里
I knew you'd be back.
我知道你会回来的
She's waiting for you, right where you left her.
她正等着你就在你离开她的地方
No internet, no e-mails, no ccs, no bccs.
没有网络没有电子邮件没有抄送没有匿名抄送
Just dirty and clean.
只有肮脏和干净之分
Dirty, clean, dirty, clean.
脏的干净的脏的干净的
A man cannot escape his destiny.
人无法逃脱命运的枷锁
My band-aid fell into the hash browns.
我的创可贴掉进炸薯饼里了
Destiny.
这是命运
We finally have a name for our app.
我们的应用终于有了名字
"The consequences eradicator."
后果终结者
Or... "Conrad."
或者叫康拉德
Conrad? Why does it have to be a guy?
康拉德为什么要是个男的
No, not a guy guy.
不可不是普通的男人
A British guy.
是个英国男人
My name is Conrad.
我的名字是康拉德
I will determine the consequences
我会通过你的网络互动行为
of your online interactions.
确定你要承担的后果
I sampled the voice from the BBC.
我用了BBC电台的声音做的样本
Tonight at 18:30 gmt,
今晚六点三十分
The premiere of series three of Pardon me, inspector,
"原谅我探长" 第三季预告
Followed at 19:20 by higgleton's war.
七点二十分请接着收看"瑟申伊莎的战争"
Stavros!
斯塔夫罗斯
Some music while we make the coleslaw-that-is-never-eaten.
来点音乐在我们弄从没人吃的凉拌菜丝的时候
What are you doing?
你在做什么
We don't break plates!
我们可不摔盘子
You don't?! No.
你们不摔盘子的吗不
Except when the greatest dishwasher
除非我们最好的洗碗工
of all time returns.
重回岗位
Opa!
欧耶
Okay, we've been coding for 97 hours straight,
我们已经连续编程97个小时了
But we've finally got a build that's working.
但终于我们有了个能用的版本
I regret to inform you
很遗憾通知你们
That my pee tube has become unattached.
我的导尿管接不上了
Let's live-test this thing.
让我们现场测试下这东西
Who do we know with no filter and zero impulse control?
我们认识的人里谁是口无遮拦又冲动的吗
Say, bart, look what we hacked from skinner's hard drive.
巴仔看我们黑了史金纳的硬盘里找到的
Attention U.S. Patent office,
致美国专利局
the following is video proof of the effectiveness
接下来是关于我的激光鼻毛修剪器的
of my laser nose hair trimmer.
视频短片
I'll just...
我只要
This is the holy fail.
这真是搞砸了
I've got to post a link with witty comment.
我得转发并附上我机智的评论
World's lamest dork
世界上最无聊的呆子
is giant loser.
是个大窝囊废
Poop emoji.
便便表情
If you post this,
如果你发布了这个
You will receive a minimum five weeks detention.
你会受到至少五周的留校察看处分
Five weeks?
五周
I can't do a nickel.
不能整夜喝酒
You know what, I'm not gonna post that video.
好吧我决定不发这个视频了
Now to see if Conrad's prediction algorithm
是时候看看康拉德的预测算法
Really works.
是不是真的有用了
But if you post it, I'll get...
但如果你发了我会
Five weeks detention.
留校察看五周
The prediction came true.
预测成真了
Our app works.
我们的应用有用
Everyone in the world is gonna buy Conrad for their phone.
全世界的人都会在他们的手♥机♥上付费下载康拉德的
We're gonna be bigger than Cribble, the filipino google.
我们会比菲律宾谷歌♥Cribble更大
So, who are we gonna edge out of the company first?
那么我们谁会被首先被踢出公♥司♥呢
always the Saverin, never the Zuckerberg.
总是萨维恩最悲剧