辛普森一家
The Simpsons S27E11
Part 2
Dec. 8, 2020, 12:16 p.m.
a bowling alley really is.
我们能快点吗 我不想迟到
Can we please get a move on? I do not want to miss any school.
准时的巴特是否有可能
Ooh, could this punctual Bart possibly be connected
和可爱的新老师搭上腔呢
to your cute new teacher?
我有一个可爱又性感的新老师吗 我没注意到呢
Oh, do I have a cute new sexy teacher? I hadn't noticed.
巴特喜欢他的老师
Bart likes his teacher
巴特喜欢他的老师
Bart likes his teacher.
只有可爱的老师 才能扭转他的命运
Hey, nothing can turn a boy's life around like a cute teacher.
就像米歇尔·菲佛帮助库里奥的一样
Like what Michelle Pfeiffer did for Coolio.
米歇尔主演的电影'危险游戏'的主题曲让库里奥一夜成名
事实上 为了表示支持 我开车送巴特去学校
In fact, to be supportive, I'll drive Bart to school.
你是想去看看 老师有多可爱吧
Are you just trying to see how cute the teacher is?
或者他有多帅 玛姬
Or how handsome he is, Marge.
新老师不是男人吧 伙计
Not a he, right, boy?
不是
No.
我爸爸居然都回来偷看了
Even my dad came back for this!
是的 儿子 但结束之后
That's right, son. But, uh, right after this,
我要去买♥♥点烟
I have to go get some cigarettes.
上次你这么说之后 就再也没回来
Last time, you never came back.
噢 别哭 诺曼
Oh, don't cry, Norman.
那不是我的名字
That's not my name!
噢 对了 那是我抛弃的另一个儿子
Oh, right. That's my other abandoned son.
我居然有个哥哥
I have a brother!
你在做什么
And just what are you doing?
给学校穿上三十年来第一幅
Putting the first new coat of paint on this school
新涂鸦装
in 30 years.
在一个排里
It's always good
有幽默的人在 真是太有趣了
to have a joker in the platoon.
巴特 根据你目前的情况
Bart, according to your folder,
你需要额外的帮助
you need some extra help.
你放学后 能来见我一下吗
Can you meet me after class?
没问题 我三点半的冰棍化了游戏 可以改天玩
No problem. I can move my 3:30 freeze tag.
类似木头人的小游戏
我看直接取消得了
Ugh, just cancel.
巴特 我很高兴看见你在努力
Bart, I'm glad that you're trying,
但我担心你的起点落后
but I am worried that you're starting from a place
大多数同学太多了
far behind most students.
因为我一直很困惑 老师
It's because I am so troubled, ma'am.
我很敏感 我需要一个漂亮的人来帮助我
Vulnerable. I need a firm but pretty hand.
你要马丁·普林斯来辅♥导♥你吗
Oh. Would you like Martin Prince to tutor you?
不要 他上一次来我家
No! Last time he was at my house,
他说了一整天的鸟类观察
he talked about bird-watching all day.
连我喜欢无趣生活的妈都烦了
Even my mom got bored, and she loves boredom.
好吧 那我可以在每周二放学后帮你辅♥导♥
Well, I guess I could see you Tuesdays after school.
# 周二 #
Tuesday
# 下午 #
Afternoon
# 我就要 #
I'm just beginning
# 见到她了 #
To see
# 现在我正在路上 #
Now I'm on my way
# 我不在乎 #
It doesn't matter to me
# 乘云追去 #
Chasing the clouds away.
贝雷拉女士
Uh, Ms. Berrera?
我只是在想 你是否需要帮助
I was, uh, wondering if you needed any help,
我帮你收地图吧
uh, pulling your maps.
你得用力拉一下
You have to give 'em a snap.
否则 它们就会被越拉越长
Otherwise, they just get longer and longer.
噢 天啊 他也喜欢她
Oh, my God, he loves her, too.
噢 天啊 他也喜欢她
Oh, my God, he loves her, too.
噢 天啊 他们也喜欢我
Oh, my God, they love me, too!
没错 我的脑海中是这么想的
That's right. In my head, I sound like this.
不 不 不
No! No, no, no, no!
怎么了 爵士乐绝迹了吗
What happened? Did jazz die?
快看我
Look at me!
她长粉刺了 可是她只有八岁啊
Acne? But she's only eight.
一夜之间 我就变成尖嗓子的青少年了
Somehow I'm becoming a squeaky-voiced teen!
此刻模仿的是杰里米·弗里德曼 辛普森中一位长粉刺的青少年
您要薯条吗
Do you want fries with that?
我在说什么
What am I saying?!
我也一样 迎来了青春期
I, too, was visited by the Ghost of Puberty Present.
我长了小胡茬了 接下来 我会成为笨蛋
I've got a starter 'stache. Next, I'm a loser,
然后成为疯子 最后成为变♥态♥
then I'm a creep, then I'm a perv.
我得去买♥♥辆货车
I've got to buy a van.
这不公平
This isn't fair.
我还没为尴尬的青春期做好准备
I'm not ready for my awkward years.
拜托 这本应是我幸福的童年
This is my happy childhood, for crying out loud!
我要打给披萨热♥线♥
Dialing for pizza.
有人的胡须好痛啊
Somewhere, another mustache is in tremendous pain.
你们一定是性早熟了
It must be precocious puberty.
这是个问题 我在问题杂♥志♥上读到过
It's a thing. I just read about it in Thing Magazine.
霍默 我来帮丽莎祛痘 你去教巴特刮胡子
Homer, I'll fix Lisa up, and you teach Bart to shave.
没问题 准备流血吧 小子
You got it. But there will be blood.
刮掉这里
And there,
这里 和这里
there, and there.
这泡沫看上去很美味 但别吃太多
The cream looks delicious, but don't eat too much.
最后刮掉这里 看清楚了吗 小伙子
And there. See how it's done, boy?
老爸 你为什么不把
Dad, aren't you supposed
那个小塑料片从刀片上拿下来呢
to take the little plastic thing off the blade?
要拿下来吗 我也总想这是干嘛的呢
Really? I always wondered about that.
你好啊 比利·赞恩
Well, hello, Billy Zane.
演员 被好莱坞影人形容外形神似“年轻的马龙·白兰度”
宝贝 每个孩子都会经历这个过程
Sweetie, every kid goes through this.
所以毕业舞会的灯光才很暗
That's why proms are dark.
每天给我塞三次胡萝卜就行了
Just stick some carrots in there three times a day.
接下来的十几年 我们都看不到你甜美的脸了吗
So we won't see your sweet little face for ten more years?
妈妈 这个连帽衫里已经全是泪了
Mom, the inside of this hoodie is covered in tears.
我给你化妆试试
Let me try some makeup.
- 是无刺♥激♥性的吗 - 哦 当然
- Cruelty-free? - Oh, yes.
我会很温柔的
I'll be very gentle.
玛姬 玛姬 快看啊
Marge? Marge, you got to see this!
怎么了
Oh, what is it?
事实上 我有两种创伤后遗症
I actually have two different PTSDs.
一种是退伍老兵们后遗症
The kind we combat veterans know.
另一种是 家长老师学生关系后遗症
And, also, Parent-Teacher-Student Dilemmas.
不
No!
巴特
Bart!
别担心
Do not worry.
我是合格的护理人员
I am certified as a paramedic.
老师 你能吻我的伤口吗
Oh! Teacher, could you kiss my owie?
小子 伤口只能被威利亲吻
Boy, owies can only be kissed by Willie.
- 哪里有伤口 - 我好了 我没事
- Where's the owie? - I'm fine. I'm fine.
丽莎 你看起来真棒
Whoa, Lisa, you look great!
美丽又成熟
Beautiful and mature.
你就像个兼♥职♥记者
Like a sideline reporter.
真 真的吗
Oh. R... Really?
原来你这么酷啊
Didn't know you were so cool.
这个 嗯 啊 是啊
Well, um, uh, well, duh.
我的天啊 我出名了
Oh, my God, I'm popular!
希望我不会被冲昏头脑
Hope this doesn't go to my head.
我已经被冲昏头脑啦
It went right to my head! Aah!
等你完成了这页的问题 你就会明白
So when you're done with this page, you will learn
地壳板块是如何相互挤压
how tectonic plates rub against each other
直到一部分沉没的
till something gives deep down.
虽然"没有孩子落后"的法律有规定
You do not have to tutor this boy
但你也不用辅♥导♥这个孩子
under the No One Child Left Behind law.
但他需要帮助了 他就快要长大了
But he needs help, and he's not going to be a child much longer.
他都长胡子了
He's got a mustache coming in.
是啊 快滚开 嘴上没毛的家伙
Yeah, so beat it, bald lip.
我的天啊 我被邀请参加三年级派对了
Oh, my God, I just got invited to my first third-grade party!
家长们需要待在家里吗
Are the parents gonna be home?
- 是的 - 真没劲
- Yes. - Lame.
伙计们 我想打扮一下胡子
Guys, I need to sharpen my mustaches.
你们觉得哪种更好看
Which is better...
第一种还是第二种
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