明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project S01E07
Part 5
April 29, 2021, 12:20 p.m.
some stupid ideas about college,
对大学有些愚蠢的想法
and he is literally covered in body spray.
而且他好像喷了香体喷雾
But he's fine. And I'm not blind.
但是他很不错 我并不是瞎子
Henry is crazy bangable.
Henry是个疯狂的打桩机
Thank you.
谢了
I'm just not crazy
我并不是对于你们
about you guys having sex already.
已经有性行为的这件事感到抓狂
Ow! You have got to be kidding me!
哎呀 你们到底在搞什么
All right, volleyball practice is over.
好吧 排球练习结束了
A smart adult is giving out free advice.
一个有智慧的成年人要给你们一些免费的忠告了
Everyone gather around.
大家都过来
Okay, here is what I've observed
这是我关于你们青少年
about you teenagers.
所观察到的
One, you have terrible aim.
第一你们的准头差得要死
You hit me in the head twice with a volleyball.
你居然用排球打中我的头两回
That was not cool.
这准头真不算好
Secondly, you are obsessed with eternity.
第二你们都被'永远'这词吸引住了
Everything is forever. Best friends forever.
很多事情是永远的 好朋友会永远在一起的
Henry and Sophia forever.
Henry跟Sophia会永远在一起
It's probably why you like teen vampires
这大概就是为什么你们喜欢吸血鬼少年
and stupid crap like that. Guess what.
和类似的笨蛋东西 不过你们知道吗
That stuff's imaginary.
那玩意是虚构的
Sorry, babe. It's true.
对不住 亲爱的 这是真的
All right, teens fall for this all the time.
好了 青少年都会因为知道真♥相♥而失落沮丧
Hell, even teen-pluses like me fall for it.
是啊 甚至像我这样的大龄青少年也会这样
Yeah, and maybe you'll be really lucky,
没错 可能你们会是幸运儿
and you'll find the perfect guy,
能找到那个完美的家伙
and you will stay together forever.
然后你们会长相厮守
But I'll tell you one thing
不过我得告诉你们一样
that always lasts forever...
会跟你长相厮守的东西
Friendship? Herpes.
友情吗 是疱疹
It's gross, and it is horrible.
是很恶心 也糟透了
Google-image-search it. It's disgusting.
回去用谷歌♥查一下 真的很恶心
It's not all running through fields
疹子这玩意儿不可能像广♥告♥里说的那样
and hang gliding, like the ads tell you.
像穿越旷野的滑翔机那样瞬间消失的无影无踪
And guess what, guys.
但是你们知道吗
Herpes is one of the better ones.
疱疹还算是比较好的一种了
I cannot keep you from getting your heart broken.
我不可能让你们永远不心碎
I can't even keep you from having sex.
我甚至不可能让你们不做♥爱♥
But I can make sure that you're safe.
但是我可以确保你们安全
Condoms, you guys.
安全套啊伙计们
You can't trust the guys in your life to have them.
你绝不能相信你生命中出现的男人会使用这玩意儿
Here you go. For you.
来 给你的
Here you go.
给
You look like trouble. I'm gonna give you two.
你看起来像红颜祸水 我得给你俩
You I'm not worried about.
你呢 我就不用担心了
Uh, can I help you? Are you a parent?
呃 请问你有什么事 你是家长吗
I am not a parent.
我不是
I am simply a concerned adult woman,
我只是一个有爱心的成年女性
helping out some at-risk youths.
正在帮助一些可能有危险的年轻人
And what are you handing out there?
那你在分发什么
Um...
那个
This feels excessive,
这感觉有点过了耶
and I bet if I were a white male,
而且我敢打赌要是我是一白人的话
you wouldn't... okay.
你们就不会...好吧
Well, maybe you would.
呃 可能你们也会
I believe this has been blown out of proportion.
我觉得这已经变得不太合适了吧
Is it true that you referred to one of our male students
请问你是否曾把我们的一位男学生称为
as "Crazy bangable"?
疯狂打桩机
Okay, who told you that? Did Megan tell you that?
谁告诉你的 Megan说的吗
That was in the service of a point.
我倒没有料到这一点
You can't just walk into a High School
你怎么能就这么走进一高中
and throw sexual paraphernalia at kids!
然后扔性♥爱♥用品给孩子们呢
I didn't throw anything at anyone.
我没有对任何人扔任何东西
That's tawdry.
那太粗俗了
And by the way, these are not...
顺便说 那些不是...
hey, what's up?
嘿 怎么了
This High School is ridiculous.
这间高中简直荒谬
I mean, it's so swanky here.
我是说 这儿太奢华了
It's so nice.
好漂亮
My High School, one window
我的高中 就那么一扇窗
that just the seniors could use... just one.
还得你到高年级的时候才能一用 还只有一扇
Danny, thank God you're here.
Danny 幸好你在这儿
Please just tell them that I'm not some crazy pervert.
请你告诉他们我不是啥邪恶的引路人
I mean, I'm not gonna lie to them. Danny!
我得说 我不会对他们说谎的 Danny
So you're here looking for guys?
所以你都饥渴的跑到这儿来找男人了
Let the poor bastards finish High School
拜托让那些可怜的兔崽子们
before you start grabbing at 'em.
在你看上他们之前先读完高中嘛
Okay, first of all, they wish.
拉倒吧 首先 他们想得美
They wouldn't know what to do with me
他们压根儿就不知道他们能用那对小手
with their little teenage hands.
和我做些啥
Second of all, Danny, thank you for bailing me out
第二 Danny 谢谢你把我从的学校监狱里
of school jail.
保释出来
For that, I shall give you one beautiful orchid.
就为了这 我会给你一朵漂亮的兰花
Just give me a slice. I'm really hungry.
给我一块千层糕就成 我真的好饿
All right, a slice and an orchid.
好吧 千层糕跟兰花
So I think Henry and I are gonna wait a while to have...
那个 我觉得我和Henry应该再多等等...
That... that thing.
就是做那啥...之前
Are you serious? Yeah.
真的吗 嗯
Oh, thank God.
噢 好嘛
I mean, it was totally up to you, your decision,
我的意思是 这完全取决于你 是你的决定
but you made the right choice.
但显然你作了正确的选择
Also, I really wanted you to have this.
另外 我想你拿着这个
Slime? For me? Mmhmm.
黏泥 给我的 嗯哼
I heard about the drama.
我听说了那件搞笑的事
My God, I am obsessed with you.
天呐 我是你的粉丝了
Ben, you are such a special kid.
Ben 你真是个特别的孩子
And I want to let you know, it gets better.
而且我想让你知道 这会变得更好的
How could it?
怎么会
You wish, Steven.
稍等 Steven
Who is this person?
这是谁
Hey, what's up? I'm Danny.
嘿 你好 我叫Danny
Shut up.
哦拜托
That's my favorite name.
这可是我最爱的名字
Really? Mmhmm.
真的吗 嗯哼
I like Ben a lot.
我也喜欢Ben这名字
Tell me you and him have happened.
告诉我你们俩是一对
Ugh, Ben! What?
噢 Ben 啥
No.
才不是
Okay, guys, we should leave the premises.
OK 伙计们 我们真得离开这儿了
Yeah.
嗯
I could actually arrested for real
我真的有可能被捕
if I stick around too much longer.
如果我还这儿晃悠的话
Bye. Bye.
再见
Bye, Mindy.
Mindy拜拜
Thank you very much for the slime.
谢了你的黏泥
Nice to meet you.
很高兴认识你
Hey. Hey.
嘿 嘿
So the florist was closed,
花店关门了
but I wanted to get you something girly,
但是我想给些女儿家的东西给你
so I popped into the pharmacy and got you
所以我随便进了一药房♥然后给你买♥♥了
some of these travel-size deodorants.
一些这种旅行装的除臭剂
Thank you.
谢谢你啊
I'm sorry about earlier.
早些时候那会儿真对不住
You don't have to be sorry.
你不需要愧疚啊
I was just surprised because I didn't know
我只是因为你表现得那么不上心
that this was so casual.
而诧异罢了
It's not casual.
不是我不上心
It's just... here's where I'm at right now.
而是 这是我现在能想到的
Josh, let me interrupt you.
Josh 抱歉我得打断你一下
明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project
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