明迪烦事多（2012）

The Mindy Project S01E04

Part 1 April 29, 2021, 12:19 p.m.

Autumn in New York...
纽约的秋天
the leaves go from green to orange...
叶子由绿变黄
the lattes go from vanilla to pumpkin...
拿铁由香草味变成了南瓜味
and girls toss their razors out the window,
姑娘们把剃刀扔出了窗外
for there'll be no bare leg seen until April.
因为到四月前她们都不用露腿了
And pirates and witches put aside their differences
而海盗和女巫们抛开彼此间的分歧
to beg for candy.
都讨要糖果
Josh, isn't this one of the reasons
Josh 不就是这些原因
why you decided to move to Manhattan?
让人想搬到曼哈顿来吗
I always wanted to live in Tampa,
我倒一直想住在Tampa
get one of those big, beige houses on the golf course,
买♥♥栋高尔夫球场上的那种米色大房♥子
Jose Canseco on one side,
这边住着Jose Canseco
canal full of gators on the other. Okay.
另一边则是住着短吻鳄的运河好吧
Throw a hot dog at a gator and see if he eats it.
扔个热狗给短吻鳄看它会不会吃
Man, I am really learning a lot
老兄这次约会真是
about you on this date.
让我对你大增了解
So this is a date?
这么说这算个约会?
I was wondering.
我就是纳闷
Because meeting up for coffee
因为在工作日的早上八点
At 8 AM on a weekday is--
相约喝咖啡实在是
you're really afraid I'm going to attack you, aren't you?
你真的很担心我会侵犯你对吧
No, no, this is a morning date.
不不这是个晨间约会
It's great. I get to know you better,
而且很不错我对你更加了解了
I bought a French press,
我买♥♥了个弗式压碎机
and these world music CDs.
还有这些各国风格的CD
Well, I read about this thing
好了我听说有种东西
called a night date.
叫做夜间约会
You into that?
你喜欢那种的吗
Weird. Tell me more.
好怪说来听听
Well, ESPN is having their Halloween party tonight.
ESPN今晚要举办万圣节派对
Cool. And these guys go all out
酷人们都会装扮好去参加
in the costumes, so you're gonna have
所以你也要好好打扮一番
to dress to impress.
好给人留下个深刻印象
I'm sorry, who am I supposed to be trying to impress?
抱歉我要给谁留印象?
I'm just saying, it's a hot ticket.
我只是说这是很热门的
I mean, last year I took a model.
去年我把了一个模特
Well, lucky for you, I was featured
你真走运我也曾手拿试管
in my college admissions brochure
登上我母校的
holding a test tube.
招生宣传册
So I guess you have a thing for models.
看来你有些模特控?
Look, as long as you look great tonight,
听着你今晚只管打扮的漂漂亮亮的
no worries.
其余的不用担心
You know, I think I'm just gonna have
你知道吗这个事我得
to get back to you about this.
想想再答复你
Seriously? Yeah.
真的吗? 嗯
Oh. Then I should line up some backup.
哦看来我得找点候补人员了
Just in case.
以防万一
Boop, boop, boop. Contacts.
Boop boop boop 联♥系♥人
Wow. All these girls.
哇哦这么多全是女孩
Just the Caitlins. Still on the Caitlins.
Caitlin这个姓还在Caitlin这个姓氏这儿
Brrr. Relax.
Brrr 得了吧
Okay, you don't know that many Caitlins.
你才不认识那么多Caitlin呢
You'd be surprised.
你会惊讶的发现
It was a very popular name in 1987.
在1987年的时候这个名字可流行了
Hey, guys, so I'm gonna go run this errand.
嗨各位我要出去一趟
I got you, man.
老兄拍到你啦
Got the whole thing on video.
把刚才的事都拍下来了
Mm, I had it flipped on me.
那东西弹到过我
Why don't you go back in your office and come out?
你为什么不回到你的办公室然后再出来?
You know, nothing scary will happen.
什么可怕的事都不会发生
I got to run. I can't.
我要出去我不能
I got to run this errand for the rest of the day, so...
今天我得出去办个事
Hello, all. I have to pop out
你们好我得出去啦
for the rest of the day to run an errand.
今天有点事要办
I will see you tomorrow.
明天见
That's a coincidence
这只是个巧合
'cause I also have to-- I have to run an errand
因为我也得
for the rest of the day.
出去办点事
See, my condo's being reassessed,
我的公♥寓♥被再次估价
so I got to go to the assessor's office.
我得去评审员的办公室一趟
Since we're closing early for Halloween anyway...
既然我们反正也要为万圣节早下班
You're sweating.
你出汗了
Oh, am I?
哦是么?
If I am, just using the ab roller in there.
如果有汗是因为我在那儿用健腹机练了会儿
Gonna have abs of steel. But gonna-- go feel it.
要炼成钢筋一样的腹部不信你去摸摸
You want to go feel it? I do not want to do that.
你想去摸摸么? 我才不想去摸呢
It's still warm.
那东西还有温度呢
The handles are probably really wet,
把手没准还湿着呢
but anyway, so that notary republic is--
总之公♥证♥人处是
Danny, it's not notary republic
Danny 这儿没什么公♥证♥人共和
'cause then it would be a country.
因为那样就得要一个国家了
And nobody cares
而且没人在乎你那
about your boring lies and your sweaty forehead
无聊的谎话和汗淋淋的前额
and the notary public that you're clearly not going to.
还有那什么你明显不会去的公♥证♥人处
Who would lie about going to a notary public?
谁会撒这种去公♥证♥人处的谎话?
Please leave before I have to hear
在我再次听到公♥证♥人共和国这个词前
the words "Notary public" Again. Okay.
赶快消失好吧
So I'm gonna--
所以我要
Exit faster. Okay. If anyone calls
赶紧消失好的如果有人打电♥话♥来
Oh, my God, go. Why won't this end?
哦我的天赶紧走这事怎么还不结束?
Okay.
好吧
I thought you were right behind me.
我还以为你就在我后面呢
Maybe lying doesn't come
也许撒谎对于我
as easy to me as it does to you.
不像对于你那么简单
Hey, I'm happy to tell them where we're going.
嘿我很乐意告诉她们我们要去哪儿
No. Oh, my God. Your hand is sopping wet.
不哦我的天你的手湿透了
It's from the ab roller.
那是因为健腹机
Oh, my God, Tom.
哦我的天啊是Tom
Oh! Oh!
哦哦
Oh, my God.
哦我的天哪
Come on. Tom.
快 Tom
Oh, Tom. I'm so sorry.
哦 Tom 对不起
I'm so-- oh, my God.
我太哦我的天啊
Tom, Tom, let me help, please.
Tom Tom 让我来让我帮你
Come on. It's okay. I know him.
快点没事我认识他
We used to date. It's-- we're fine.
我们过去交往过这儿没事
Don't leave me alone with this lady.
别让我和这个女的独处
Well, don't be theatrical.
别这么戏剧好吗
Am I bleeding? Um...
我在流血么? Um...
I'm bleeding. I'm so sorry. Please, Tom.
我在流血实在对不起 Tom
Here. Let me help you up.
来让我扶你起来
I taste pennies.
我嘴里好苦涩
This looks good.
看起来还不错
You're gonna look better than when you came in.
你比你刚进来时好看多了
Hey, you wanted, like,
嘿你想要像是
Frankenstein stitches
弗兰肯斯坦脸上那样的缝线对吧
'cause of Halloween, right?
因为万圣节就要到了不是吗?
Really, it's not bad at all.
真的这也不错啊
If I'd really want to hurt you,
如果我真想伤害你
I would have sent all your contacts
我就会向你通讯录里所有人
that video of you spitting out
发那份你被一块热披萨
that bite of hot pizza.
烫得吐出来的视频
Hey, you know what?
嘿你知道吗
I still owe you a wedding gift.
我还欠你一份结婚礼物呢
Is there anything on the registry that you still need?
你的礼物登记簿里还缺点什么?
Go back in time and don't ruin my wedding
你穿越回去不要毁了我的婚礼
Tom, I'm sorry, okay?
Tom 对不起
I'm really sorry.
我真的很抱歉
Back then, I was, like, a little messed up,
那时候我状态不太好
and I think I was kind of drunk at the wedding too
而且我想我当时有点醉