瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Rick and Morty S02E01

Part 4 Oct. 7, 2020, 2:18 p.m.

What?
什么
Put the damn collars on if you want to live.
想活命就快他妈把项圈戴上
They're on right now. We did. They're on.
我们戴着呢戴了啊
All right, fine. Summer, Morty, put them on.
好吧 Summer Morty 把项圈戴上
Yes, we're back! No more cats!
我们回来了猫都没啦
We're back in certain time. Problem solved.
我们回到确定的时间了都解决啦
No more cats! Oh, you did it!
猫没了成功了
You fixed it. Yeah, I did.
你给搞定啦没错
Now keep those collars on so you
好好戴着这些项圈
Don't break your weak-ass time again.
免得你们把你们的弱逼时间又弄裂了
How long, exactly, do we have to wear these things?
这些东西我们具体还要戴多久
They're really embarrassing.
戴着这东西挺尴尬的
Well, since you're going to time prison,
鉴于你们要滚进时间监狱了
I'd say you can keep them on forever.
那应该是要永远戴着了
Time prison? Yeah.
时间监狱没错
Well, I don't know where you expect me to think
我不知道你以为我会觉得
You got that crystal over there,
你是怎么搞到这块水晶的
But the only way your dumbass assin' ass asses
但是你们这些蠢驴中的蠢驴里的驴
Could ever have on is if it was stolen.
唯一能搞来一块儿的解释就是偷来的
You stole a time-freezing crystal from testicle monsters?!
你从睾丸怪那里偷了一块能冻结时间的水晶
I would've been happy to pay for it, S-summer,
要是能买♥♥我也乐意花钱啊
But they don't exactly sell them at Costco.
但你以为超♥市♥里就能买♥♥到吗
Besides, there's a larger lesson to be learned here. Get him!
再说这里还有更重要的经验教训抓住他
No, no, no, no! You better keep back!
嘿嘿嘿退后点
Man, this will turn your ass
这东西三十码外就能把你的屁♥股♥
Into a third-trimester fetus from 30 yards.
变成一个怀胎三月的胎儿
Mm.
哼
Isn't there a kitten somewhere that needs a manicure?
哪儿不该有只猫咪等着你去做美甲的吗
That's right, mrs. Smith. Give in to your anger.
没错 Smith太太屈从于你的愤怒吧
Neglect that deer.
别管这头鹿了
Honey, it's gonna be okay.
亲爱的没事啦
These men are from the cervine institute
这些人是麋鹿驼鹿梅花鹿
of elk, moose, deer, and stag.
及雄鹿鹿科动物机构的
They can take this deer to a helicopter
他们能把这只小鹿带上直升机
And fly it to the country's top deer surgeon
送去全国顶级的鹿科动物医生
On a wildlife reserve across the state border.
是在跨州的野生动物保护区
Where your jurisdiction ends.
超出你的权限范围了
I guess that's the end of that.
看来这就结束了
There is just one more thing.
还有一件事
According to this state's veterinarian statute,
根据本国的兽医条例
This animal can't be transferred
要转移这只动物
Until the current attending physician
必须要当前治疗的医师
Verbally confirms their inability
口头确认他们无法
To provide adequate care.
提供所需的救治
You heard the man, horse doctor.
听到没医马的
You have to say you couldn't hack it.
你必须得说你搞不定
We did it!
我们做到啦
Uh-huh. No, mother no. Earth, dude.
嗯哼不是妈妈是地球
No, I'm talking about... yeah, with the dinosaurs.
不是我说的是对对有恐龙的那个
No, if you get to the dolphin people, you gone too far.
不海豚人又要隔很久了
All right, man, I'll talk to you later. Okay.
好我晚点再跟你说
You know what they do to third-dimensional life forms in time prison?
知道三次元生物在时间监狱是什么下场吗
Same thing they do in every other prison, only forever.
和其他所有监狱一样只不过是一直到永远
Why are you doing this?
你为什么要这样
You think I want to be an omniscient immortal being
你以为我想一辈子都当一个全知不朽
Transcending time and space my whole life?
超越时空的存在啊
I got ambitions, man.
我也有梦
Bringing you guys in is my ticket up.
把你们送进去只是我升迁的敲门砖
What if I told you there's a huge ticket
那要是我说你背后就有
Up right behind you?
一巨大的敲门砖呢
You really think I'm that stupid?
你真以为我这么蠢
All right, hear me out on this.
你听我说啊
You're immortal, right, which means your life is infinite.
你是不朽的也就是说你的生命是无限的
Okay, well, then that means there's a 100% chance
也就是说你做任何一件事情的概率
That you'll eventually do everything,
最终都会是百分之百
Including turning around to look behind you.
包括转过身去看看背后
I cannot argue that.
这我没法反驳
aaah!
啊
oh, god, gross and weird!
天啊好恶心好诡异
Chris!
Chris
You killed my gun!
你杀了我的枪
Summer, Morty, take off your collars.
Summer Morty 摘掉你们的项圈
What? What the hell are you doing?
你们干嘛
Good question. I suppose the answer is I'm not certain.
问得好答案是我不确定
Oh, no, what are you doing?
你在干什么
I have no idea. I'm not sure.
我也不知道我不确定
Stop it!
快停下
Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
可能我会停可能不会
I'm really uncertain about everything,
对什么我都不能确定
Even kicking your ass.
包括要不要揍你
List- hey! Tw ow!
听嘿啊
But the these arms are vestigial!
这些手臂只是退化不完全的残留
Now, you poked me where an eye would've been
你戳的地方六百万年前
About 6 million years ago.
就已经不再有眼睛了
Come on, let's help grandpa.
我们来帮外公
Yes! I'm 100% not sure about anything!
我对一切都是百分之百的不确定
Yeah, totally uncertain.
没错完全不确定
Beat his ass! Get him! Beat him up!
揍他揍死他
kick his ass, Rick! Die, mother[bleep]！
揍死他 Ricku3000 死吧傻[哔]
Ow! I'm defeated.
我被打败了
What's happening? Time is falling apart.
怎么了时间在崩塌
We've got to get back to certainty quick.
我们必须回到确定的时间
Give me your collars.
把你们的项圈给我
Oh, man. Don't you have to fix, like, 30 of them?
你不是得要修好差不多三十个项圈吧
Morty, I have to fix three of them.
Morty 我只用修好三个
And then there's 31 other versions of me
还有其他三十一个我
That have to also fix three, for a total of 96.
他们也要修三个一共是九十六
I'm not an idiot. I know how to be decisive.
我不傻我很果断的
Now hand me that flat-head screwdriver.
把扁头的螺丝刀递给我
Actually, make it a flathead. Actually, make it a phillips.
算了还是扁头的吧算了还是十字的吧
Oh, shit.
妈的
Look, I know I was kind of a nuisance today.
我知道我今天有点不是很让你顺心
I know it's my fault we hit the deer.
我知道撞到那头鹿是我的错
And I know you wanted to be the one to save it.
我也知道你想要救它
Whatever.
没所谓了
How petty would I have to be to care less
我是多心胸狭窄才会把一条生命
About an animal's life than my own ego?
看得还不如我的自尊心重要
Well, you'd have to be pretty petty.
那你得非常心胸狭窄才行
But you'd still be the woman I married.
但你还是我的老婆啊
where are we going?
我们这是在往哪儿开
One last stop.
最后一站
Where's the helicopter?
直升机在哪儿
There is no helicopter.
没有直升机
And there is no cervine institute.
也没有鹿科动物机构
But the top deer surgeon...
那顶级鹿科动物医生
I'm looking at her.
就在我面前
Thanks for teeing me up like that.
谢谢你给我这么高的地位
You better get moving.
你们最好赶快
These lights are designed for basic ice-cream work.
这些灯光本来是做基本的冰激凌准备的
They're not gonna last all night.
撑不了一夜
I need five minutes.
给我五分钟
Jerry, this was the most romantic weekend I've ever had.
Jerry 这真是我经历过最浪漫的周末了
Thanks to cold stone creamery.
多谢酷圣石
You're welcome.
不用谢
Okay, collars are done. Put them on.
好了项圈修好了快戴上
We're out of time. It's ironic, huh?
没有时间了听着很讽刺是吧
Huh? Wait a minute.
啊怎么回事
Great. Rick!
真棒 Rick
What's going on?
怎么回事
The collar. Oh, the latch is broken.
项圈的扣环坏掉了