瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Rick and Morty S02E08

Part 2 Oct. 7, 2020, 2:20 p.m.

"How did I get here?"
"我怎么到这来的"的节目
Here's our first person.
欢迎第一位参与者
Oh. Oh, my god.
我的老天
How did I get here?
我怎么到这来的
Hello?!
有人在吗
How did I get here?! Somebody, help me, please!
我怎么到这来的来人啊救命
Holy crap! Look, it's that lady with the shit on her face
妈呀这不是那个脸上一坨鬼玩意儿的女的吗
Like Worf from "Star trek" That was getting coffee!
跟<星际迷航>里Worf似的在拿咖啡那女的
How did she get there?!
她怎么到那了
Oh, my god, Morty, how did she get there?
我的天 Morty 她怎么到那的
How did she get there?
她怎么到那的
Is that something we should be concerned about?
这事儿我们是不是应该小心点儿啊
Just stay away from the coffee machine.
离那台咖啡机远点就好
Calling all Jan-Michael Vincents.
呼叫全体Jan-Michael Vincents
Calling all Jan-Michael Vincents.
呼叫全体Jan-Michael Vincents
In a world
在这个世界
Where there's eight Jan-Michael Vincents...
有八个Jan-Michael Vincents
We need one Jan-Michael Vincents
我们需要一个Jan-Michael Vincents
To quadrant "C."
到C区
We need two Jan-Michael Vincents to quadrant "E."
我们需要两个Jan-Michael Vincents到E区
...and 16 quadrants,
还有十六个区
There's only enough time for a Jan-Michael Vincents
现在只够时间让一个Jan-Michael Vincents
To make it to a quadrant.
到一个区
He can't be at two quadrants at once.
他不能同时出现在两个区
Hey, Rick, who -- who is Jan-Michael Vincents?
Rick 谁是Jan-Michael Vincents
Oh, man.
我的天
I'm trying to remember, Morty.
Morty 我在努力回想
Jan-Michael Vincents are used up.
Jan-Michael Vincents已经被耗尽了
I need a goddamn Jan-Michael Vincents.
我需要一个Jan-Michael Vincents
Is it important that we know who Jan-Michael Vincentswas
我需要知道谁是Jan-Michael Vincents
in order to get this? nope.
才能看懂这部剧吗不用
I-I refuse to send the legislation that allows
我拒绝通过这项法案来允许
More than Jan-Michael Vincents
超过八个Jan-Michael Vincents
To a precinct.
出现在同一个片区的议案
This Jan-uary,
这个一(jan)月
It's time to Michael down your Vincents.
Michael掉你的Vincents的时候到了
"Jan quadrant Vincent 16."
"Jan quadrant Vincent 16"
That's Jan-Michael.
是Jan-Michael啊
Excuse me, nurse, can you take my temperature
麻烦护士小姐可以测一下我的体温吗
Because I think I have
因为我可能得了
Jan quadrant Vincents fever over here.
Jan quadrant Vincents热
All right, Morty! You've done it.
很棒 Morty 真不错
So, we'll be detaching your sexual organ at the base
我们会移除你的性器官
By making incisions here, here, and here.
通过切开这里这里和这里
Got it.
明白
Leaving a partial length of severed urethra
留下部分长度的切断的尿道
to be threaded through
引其穿过
Oh, you know what, I got to -- I got to laugh at myself here.
等等我要稍微嘲笑一下自己
I'm having a little laugh at myself
我要稍微嘲笑一下自己
Because I just realized I haven't run
因为我意识到我还没
This whole decision past my wife.
我还没和老婆商量过
Oh. Do you think she'll be okay with this?
你觉得她会不会有什么意见
Oh, absolutely.
当然不会
Beth's automatically on board always
我做出的任何决定
With every decision I make.
Beth都百分百支持
Hey, I'm Stealy.
嗨我是阿偷
Follow me on my adventure through this office.
和我一起在这间办公室探险吧
All right, here we go.
开始咯
We're gonna just steal a couple of things.
我们就偷点东西
Excuse me. Can I help you?
不好意思有什么能帮你的吗
Starting with common office objects.
先从日常办公用品开拿
Hey, hey, hey! That's my stuff!
停打住那是我的
Such as staplers and pens,
订书机啊笔啊之类的
And all sorts of things like--such as that.
杂七杂八的东西
That's it. I'm calling security.
我要叫保安了
No!
不要
All right,
好了
Okay, now we're in the quiet safe room
这屋子安静又安全
Where none of the people whose stuff I stole
而且刚才那些丢东西的人
Can get to us.
都找不到这里
Now, let's look at all the stuff we got.
来清点一下战利品吧
We got a bag of bobbish.
一包开心豆
That's eight Brapples.
价值八个Brapple
We got a plumbus.
一个Plumbus
That's 6 1/2 brapples.
价值六个半Brapple
We got, uh, crushed red party cups.
还有呃挤扁的饮料杯
15 1/2 Brapples.
价值十五个半Brapple
Welcome back to "Funny songs".
欢迎回到"搞笑即兴歌♥"
It's all improvised. It's very funny.
都是即兴创作乐趣无穷
I need a volunteer from the audience.
我需要一个观众配合
Um, longtime fan of the show. Uh--
我是节目的忠实粉丝
What do you do? What's your profession?
你是做什么的什么职业
I am a tax attorney.
我是个税务律师
Okay, here we go. Hit--hit the music.
有了来来音乐
**I'm a tax attorney*
*我是税务律师
**Oh, geez, oh *
*哦哼哼哈兮
**Forget about everybody else*
*忘掉别人吧
**Forget about Jesus Christ*
*快忘掉上帝
**Forget about Muhammad*
*忘掉买♥♥买♥♥提
**Forget about, uh...*
*忘掉呃
**All those religions*
*所有的宗教
**Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-bop*
*噼里啪啦嘭
The end.
结束
Oh, my god. Oh, that was so, so funny.
哈哈哈真搞笑
Thank you. You're welcome.
谢谢客气
Hey, um, security guards, take him out.
保安把他赶出去
Get him out of here. What?
把他撵出去你说什么
Get the orthodontist out of here.
把这个矫形牙医赶走
No! Why?
不要为什么
Take him out of the audience. Kill him. Sic him.
从观众席拖走宰了他弄他
Demons...
恶灵们
Suck his life out.
把他魂也吸了
I don't give a shit.
老子不鸟这些
Smith family? Yes?
Smith的家人吗是
I wanted to let you all know that Jerry is doing just fine.
告知你们一下 Jerry情况很好
Yay! Called it! Whoohoo! That's good news!
耶我早就说了真是好消息
But, uh, Mrs. Smith, could you come with me?
但是夫人你能和我来一下吗
Hi, honey, so, here's the thing...
宝贝有个事情
These guys--they want to completely
他们想想把我的阴♥茎♥切除
Remove my penis and use it as an alien's heart.
然后作为心脏移植到一个外星人身上
And we just need you to sign off on it.
需要你签一下字
What?!
什么玩意
Uh oh, maybe we got a problem here after all, guys. Yikes.
不妙还是有了一个意见不统一的事哎呀
His penis will be replaced with a sophisticated prosthetic.
切除后我们会给他装一个高级义肢
Now, there's a wide range of options to choose from.
并且有多种样式供你选择
They're all in this catalogue.
都在这个清单上
I don't care about prosthetics. This is insane.
老娘才不在乎什么义肢这事太扯了
What do you people think you're doing?
你们这些人以为自己在干什么
I understand your feelings, Mrs. Smith.
我理解你的感受夫人
Oh, I don't think you do.
我觉得你并不能理解
I, I bring my husband in for emergency treatment.
我带丈夫来看急诊
He's gone an hour.
人就推走了一个小时
And now you want his penis,
你们现在就要把他老二切掉
And you hand me some...catalog.
还给我什么什么样品目录
It's--it's--it's-- it's--I mean...
这也太太太哇哦
Well, there you go. Sorry.
就是这么个情况抱歉
I know it's hard to understand,
我知道有点难以理解
but on earth, love comes first.
但在地球上爱高于一切
There are those that believe, Mr. Smith,
Smith先生有一些人认为
That Shrimply Pibbles represents love between all life.
Shrimply Pibbles代表了所有生命之间的爱