瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Rick and Morty S02E10

Part 3 Oct. 7, 2020, 2:20 p.m.

Get your family out of here!
带上你的家人快走
I got this.
这里我搞定
How about a taste of my squanch?!
尝尝我的屎瓜
Come on, this way!
快走这边
Squanch this!
屎瓜这个
Good thing I grabbed a space weapon.
还好我捡了把武器
That's a confetti gun, you idiot!
这是把礼花枪蠢猪
Dad! Hold on tight!
老爸抓紧
Aaah!!
啊
Aaaah!!
啊
God damn it! God damn it!!
该死的真是该死
What the hell happened back there?!
刚才到底什么情况
This is on you guys. I told you weddings are stupid.
都赖你们我说过婚礼都烂透了
Uh, Rick, is there anything you'd like to tell us
Rick 关于你和之前我们从没听说过的
About your relationship
银河联邦之间的故事
With this previously unknown galactic government?
你是不是和我们讲一下
All the important points seem pretty clear, no?
这还不明显吗
They think they control the galaxy, I disagree.
他们自认为统治银河系我不同意
Don't hate the player, hate the game, son.
别怪玩家游戏的错
How could you be so dishonest with this family?
你怎么能对家人如此不诚实
Oh! Oh, should I have been more open and trusting
难不成我本来该再敞开些心扉更加有爱轻信别人
And loving like, oh, I don't know,
就像我想想
My now dead best friend?
就跟刚死掉的我最好的朋友那样吗
Or your daughter,
或者像你女儿那样
Who is BFFs with an intergalactic NARC?
找个死党结果她还是个跨星系缉毒警♥察♥
Hey, Tammy was cool!
Tammy挺酷的
And now we know why. Because of you!
现在知道为什么了就因为你
[bleep] you, Summer, and [bleep] the government,
[哔]你啊 Summer 顺带[哔]政♥府♥
And [bleep] me for letting my guard down,
还要[哔]我因为我松懈了
Which I will never do again.
以后永远不会这样了
Geez, Rick!
积点口德 Rick
You can't say "f--'f' you" to your granddaughter.
你怎么能对孙女说出[哔]这种字眼
I just did, Morty. Here's dessert, [bleep] you.
我就说了怎么样附赠一句 [哔]你
Look, I think we've all had a tough wedding.
我们刚熬过一场可怕的婚礼
Actually, the wedding was beautiful.
其实吧婚礼挺美的
The reception got out of hand.
接待有点失控
Anyway, I say we go home, sleep it off,
不扯那些我们还是回家洗洗睡吧忘掉一切
And have a family meeting in the morning.
然后明早开个家庭会议
Yeah, about going home, we can't--ever.
回家这事吧不行永远都不能
What?!
什么
Oh, these guys are looking for us now.
那群人正找我们呢
Earth will be swarming with them.
他们肯定蜂拥到地球了
Us?!
找"我们"
Jerry. I want to go home!
Jerry 我想回家
Look, anyone that wants to go back to earth
你们谁想回地球的话
Is free to go back to earth.
随你的便
But here's what's gonna happen.
但是后果是
Aliens bureaucrats are gonna arrest you.
外星官僚的走狗会逮捕你们
They're gonna put the intergalactic equivalent
他们会拿星系里相当于跨接电缆的东西
Of jumper cables under your nuts and or labia,
接到你的蛋蛋或者洞洞下面
And hook them up to an alien car battery.
然后另一头连上外星车载电池
Until you tell them where I am--
一直电到你们说出我的藏身之处
Which I guarantee you, you're not gonna know,
并且我保证你们不知道我在哪
Which I guarantee they won't believe.
当然他们肯定不会信
So who's homesick? By applause.
谁想家了掌声欢送
Ladies? Anybody?
女士们有谁要回吗
What are we going to do?
我们怎么办
Where are we going to live?
我们要住哪里
Take it easy. This is a blessing in disguise.
放轻松塞翁失马焉知非福
[bleep] earth.
去[哔]的地球吧
You realize our planet's name means dirt, right?
你知道我们星球名字的意思是"尘土"吧
We'll find a new world.
我们会找到新世界的
Computer, how many planets in the milky way
电脑银河系里有多少星球
Are at least 90% similar to earth?
和地球相似度超过九♥成♥的
765 known planets.
已知765个
How many of those are outside federal jurisdiction?
那其中有多少在银河联邦管辖之外的
Three.
三个
See? Our cup runneth over.
看吧比我们需要的还多
Now, who wants to go shopping
谁想去购个物
For a brand-new mother[bleep] world?!
为这个新[哔]世界做准备
All right!
走起
Look at this baby!
瞅瞅这宝贝儿
Would you even know that wasn't earth?
根本看不出这不是地球吧
Yes, because there's no africa.
当然看得出这没有非洲
Pssh. White-people problems, Morty.
切白种人就是事多 Morty
Let's go down and check her out.
我们着陆下去看看
Oh. I thought it was further away.
我以为还远着呢这就撞上了
I uh...I guess this one's a little small.
这个这个估计有点小
All right, uh, maybe...
那那就
Maybe we should go check out the other two, huh?
那我们去另外两个看看吧
Okay, this one's bigger.
这个挺大的
This looks nice.
不错的样子
Mom, dad, look!
老爸老妈快看
Strawberries on a cob!
玉米穗上长草莓
Whoa! Hey, check this out!
来看看这个
Flowers on a cob!
玉米穗上开花
Huh. Strawberries and flowers on a cob, huh?
花和草莓都长在玉米穗上啊
That's pretty cool.
真是酷炫
Are those... mountains on a cob?
那不会是在玉米穗上的山吧
Oh, my god.
我的天
Get in the ship, sweetie. What?
快上船什么
Get in the god[bleep] ship!!
快[哔]的上船
Everything's on a cob!!
所有东西都长在玉米穗上
The whole planet's on a cob!! Go, go, go!!
这个星球都在玉米穗上快走快走
All right, third time's the charm.
好吧至三必成
See what we got here.
看看这个什么情况
Seems good.
看着还行
And nothing on the cob.
没有长在玉米棒上的东西了
Didn't know that was a necessity, but...
虽然不知道那还得是必须的但是
No, it's nice. I think this might be it.
这个挺好我觉得就是它了
Wow! Hey, look, you guys.
大家看
The sun's rising.
太阳升起来了
Uh, dad, how long are the days on this planet?
老爸这地方白天有多长
Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?
电脑这星球上白天有多长
42 hours.
42小时
All right, well, those are the two choices.
只有这两个选择了
'Cause cob planet is off the table.
因为"玉米棒"星不予考虑
Now let's take a vote.
我们投一下票
Well, it's official.
事情已成定局
The obscure planet known as earth,
这个寂寂无名的叫做地球的星球
Formerly the hiding place of
星际恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
Interstellar terrorist and fugitive Rick Sanchez,
逃犯Rick Sanchez的前藏身之处
Has just become the 6,048th planet
现在成为了第6048个
To join the galactic federation.
加入银河联邦的星球
The plucky little ball of water and dirt,
这是个满是水和土的小球
Which is where it gets its name,
它也因此得名
Is dominated by seven billion primate-descended natives
这颗星球被七十亿灵长类生物占据
Who love to eat spaghetti and pray to kangaroos.
他们喜欢吃意面而且向袋鼠祈祷
Spaghetti, kangaroos?
意面还有袋鼠
I've got to check this place out.
我一定得去看个究竟
Well, you can.
你当然能
Contact the ministry of tourism for details.
详情请咨♥询♥旅游局
Up next, teenagers are calling it--
下一则新闻青少年把这个叫做
And it's not what you think.
并且不是你想的那样
What are you--what did you do that for?
你干什你干嘛呢
Dramatic effect.
为了戏剧效果
Good morning, family.
大家早上好啊
Oh, do I smell bacon?
我闻到的是培根的味道吗
Yes, we discovered a species of tiny pig
是我们在新澳大利亚海岸
Off the coast of new Australia
发现了一种新品种的小型猪