瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty S02E08
Part 1
Oct. 7, 2020, 2:20 p.m.
Don't worry about Jerry. He's gonna be fine.
别担心了 Jerry会没事的
You hear me, Jerry? You're gonna be fine.
你听得见吗 Jerry 你没事的
Ooh, watch out for that stuff.
小心那东西
It'll stain if it gets on your clothes,
会在衣服留下污渍
And it'll send you into a murderous rage
而且如果进入了你的眼睛或嘴巴
if it gets in your eyes and mouth.
它还会让你变成杀人狂魔
Why would you keep mutant bacteria
为什么你要把变异细菌
In a pint of Cherry Garcia?
保存在Cherry Garcia雪糕桶里面
I know this isn't the time, but, you know, technically,
虽然现在提这个不太好 但是 严格来说
The second freezer drawer is mine.
冰箱冷冻柜的第二层是归我的
Not anymore. You're overreacting!
再也不是了 你反应过度了
We're losing him. All right, fine,
他快不行了 好吧
but you're not touching my crisper.
但你们不准碰我的保鲜盒
Is he going to die? Don't worry.
他要死了吗 别担心
Dr. Glip Glop is the best in the galaxy.
Glip Glop是全银河系最厉害的医生
Hello, I'm Dr. Glip Glop.
你好 我是Glip Glop医生
Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
我的天啊
What?
干嘛
Every hospital claims to have
每间医院都说他们这儿有
The best doctor in the ga--laxy.
全银河系最厉害的医生
It's like those pizza places
就像那些匹萨店
That claim to have the best pizza in the world.
每家都说他们的匹萨世界第一
What do you think, they have pizza contests?
你以为他们真搞了披萨大赛评出来的吗
Have you ever been to a pizza contest?
你真有去过什么匹萨比赛么
Go in the waiting room, dad. Fine!
爸 去候诊室等 好吧
Excuse me.
麻烦一下
Coming through. What are you here for?
借过一下 你来看什么病
Just kidding. I don't care.
说笑而已 我才不关心
Well, This won't do.
这可不行
Hey, what are you doing? A sequel.
你在干什么 弄个续篇
I don't understand. yeah, me, neither.
我听不懂 我也不懂
We pretty much nailed it the first time.
我们第一次搞得相当不错
"MAN vs. CAR," The newst hit show,
"人车大战" 最新最火的秀
Where it pits a man...
让一个平凡人类
versus a car.
与汽车作战
On tonight's episode,
今晚这集
Michael Jenkins fights a regular old car.
Michael Jenkins将会对阵一台普通老汽车
Here we go.
比赛开始
Oh, he's pushing his way through.
他在使劲儿推
He's trying to fight that car,
他尝试着打败那台汽车
But the car seems to have the upper hand.
但汽车似乎占据着上风
Oh, he's got a little bit of pushback there.
不好了 他有点被推回去了
Oh, no.
不妙啊
He just got ran over and chewed up by the tires.
他被汽车碾成渣了
I guess that's another one for the cars.
看来汽车又赢了一局
I mean, wouldn't the cars always win?
汽车难道还能输不成
Samantha, I need to know,
Samatha 我想知道
That you understand that I have a couple of eyeholes.
你能理解 我有一双眼穴这件事
I do. I do understand about your eyeholes.
我理解 我知道你有眼穴
Here, look at my eyeholes.
看看我的眼穴
Oh, my god. You have eight eye ho-- holes.
天啊 你有八个眼穴
Ohh, I'm looking through your eyeholes.
我在往你的眼穴里看呢
Yes, look through my eyeholes.
就是这样 望穿我的眼穴
I'm the eyehole...man.
我是眼穴侠
I'm the only one that's allowed to have eye holes.
只有我才能拥有眼穴
Get up on out of here with my eyeholes.
留下我的眼穴滚出去
Eyeholes. Get them today.
眼穴 今天就去买♥♥吧
You got to be careful, Morty.
Morty 你要小心点
If that guy catches you with a box of his eyeholes,
如果那家伙抓到你拿着一盒他的眼穴
He comes bursting in through a window
他会破窗而入
And just starts kicking the shit out of you.
然后暴打你一顿
But it's worth the risk.
不过这个险值得冒
They melt in your mouth, Morty. They're delicious.
Morty 眼穴入口即溶 十分美味
Dad, I can't believe you're explaining alien cereal.
爸 你居然还在跟他们解释外星麦片
We're worried about Jerry. Well, you're 39 years too late,
我们都在担心Jerry 三十九年后才来担心太晚了
Or, you know, however old he is.
反正他已经活了多少年 就晚了多少年了
Is he -- is he 50?
他 有五十岁了吗
Jesus Christ, Beth, is -- is Jerry 50?
Beth 我的天 他五十岁了吗
Where am I?
我这是在哪
Relax, Mr. Smith. You're in an alien hospital.
放轻松 Smith先生 您正身处一所外星医院
I mean, to you, it's an alien hospital.
对你来说是一所外星医院
To me, you're just in a hospital.
对我来说 只是一所医院
There's another matter we need to discuss with you.
我们还需要跟您讨论一个问题
Okay.
好
An hour ago, Shrimply Pibbles,
一小时前 Shrimply Pibbles
The galaxy's most influential civil rights leader,
银河系最具影响的民权领袖
Was brought to this hospital's emergency room,
被带到了这所医院的急症室
Where he is currently fighting for his life.
他现在还没脱离生命危险
My god.
天啊
Mr. Smith, Shrimply Pibbles' life
Smith先生 我们可以拯救Shrimply Pibbles
Can be saved if we replace his heart with your human penis.
只要用你的人类阴♥茎♥来替代他的心脏
I see. Wait, what?
我懂了 等等 什么
It's perfect.
作为替代品非常完美
The configuration of veins,
静脉的分布构成
The ratio of thickness to elasticity,
厚度与弹性的比值
The delicate asymmetry of what you call your balls,
你所谓"蛋蛋"的细微不对称
And with relatively few adjustments,
只需相对少的调整
Your genitals can be molded into a functioning heart
您的生殖器就能为全宇宙最重要的人
For the most important man in the universe.
塑造一个机能完整的心脏
yeah, but I mean oh,forget it!
话是这么讲 算了吧
I told you this was a waste of time!
早就说了这完全是浪费时间
Have respect, Yarp.
Yarp 礼貌点
The earth man's world is tiny and undeveloped.
地球上的人类世界又小又落后
He knows nothing of the Genocides of Clorgon
他根本不知道Clorgon种族灭绝事件
Or the tragic events of 65.3432.23/14.
又或者65.3432.23/14悲剧
And even if he did, he wouldn't comprehend them.
就算知道 他也无法理解
I've dwelt among the humans.
我曾经在人类世界居住过
Their entire culture is built around their penises.
他们的全部文明都围绕着阳物
It's funny to say they are small.
笑它小 能成笑料
It's funny to say they are big.
说它大 也能逗趣
I've been at parties
我曾经去过他们的派对
Where humans have held bottles, pencils, thermoses
人类拿着瓶子 铅笔 暖水壶
In front of themselves and called out,
放在他们身前 还叫着
"Hey, look at me. I'm Mr. So-and-so-dick.
"快来看啊 我是某物丁丁先生
I've got such-and-such for a penis."
我的丁丁是个某物
I never saw it fail to get a laugh.
然后就是哄堂大笑 从来不会冷场
All right! That's enough!
够了 真是够了
You guys are talking about my species.
你们在议论我的种族
We understand genocide. We do it sometimes.
我们知道什么叫种族灭绝 我们有时干这种事儿
Then you would give your penis
这么说你愿意捐献你的阴♥茎♥
So that Shrimply Pibbles might live? Stop asking!
来帮助Shrimply Pibbles渡过难关吗 别问了
Yes, I will!
我愿意捐
That's right, assholes.
没错 混♥蛋♥们
Take my penis. Take it all!
拿走我的阴♥茎♥吧 全拿走
And tell Shrimply Pibbles
告诉你们那Shrimply Pibbles
That when the galaxy came calling,
银河系有难需要帮助的时候
Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch!
地球的Jerry Smith可没有打退堂鼓
Hey, w-what's wrong, Morty?
怎么了 Morty
Oh, you're worried about your dad, huh?
你在担心你♥爸♥吗
Huh? Oh, no, no, no.
不是
I'm just -- I'm just looking
我只是在看那个
At that lady over there getting coffee.
取咖啡的女人
What's up with her face?
她的脸怎么了
Is she human, or is she like Worf?
她是人 还是像Worf一样
You know, worf from "Star trek,"
你知道<星际迷航>的Worf吗
How he has all that shit all over his face,
他的脸就是一副鬼样子
But he's just a human in a costume, you know?
但只是个穿上戏服的人类
Morty, uh, let's see what else is on, huh? Okay.
Morty 看看还有什么别的节目吧 好吧
And now we're back to "How did I get here?"
欢迎回到我们的节目 <我怎么到这来的>
The only show that makes you ask yourself,
全球唯一一个会让你问自己
瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty
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