家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S04E19

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:06 p.m.

Maw maw, were you in the laundry room?
曾奶奶你刚刚在洗衣房♥吗
I don't go in there;
我不去那里的
that TV only gets the clothes channel.
那的电视只有服装频道
Burt, did you do the laundry?
伯特是你洗的衣服吗
Not since the great acid-wash disaster of '91.
自从91年那次酸洗大事故之后我就没洗过
We got jeans...
牛仔裤在这
And we got acid.
酸液也有
How hard can it be?
洗个衣服能有多难
Well, he's thorough.
他服务真周到
He even cleaned out the pube catcher.
把脏物槽都给洗了
You're winning me over, ghost!
你真真的打动我了
Whoever you are!
不管你是什么鬼
We brought a bag of ice!
我们带了一袋冰过来
Where's the thumb?! Where's Burt's thumb?
大拇指呢伯特的大拇指呢
Good job getting here so fast.
这么快就来了真牛逼
So... dad didn't cut off his thumb
搞毛就是说老爸没有因为
testing out his new mouse guillotine?
测试新捕鼠器而把手指切了
No. We just wanted you to get here as fast as possible
没只是希望你们能在
before we made contact.
我们俩联络上那边之前赶来
What do you mean, "contact"?
"联络上那边"是几个意思
We have a ghost.
家里有只鬼
We have a laundry-folding, chair-stacking,
不仅会叠衣服摞椅子
lipstick-writing, possibly friendly,
还会用口红写字感觉挺友好的
possibly Mr. Belvedere phantasm.
估计是贝尔韦代雷先生的鬼魂
And we hired a professional to help us communicate with it.
我们请了一个专业灵媒来帮我们跟他交流
Well, this should be as interesting as a
好吧这肯定跟冰块里
still twitching thumb in a bucket of ice.
会动的断指一样有趣
Hey, Chances.
大家好
You guys order a medium?
你们点了一份中号♥披萨
Not a medium pizza.
不是披萨
A medium to help us talk to our ghost.
是帮我们跟鬼交流的灵媒
Your card says you do that.
你名片说你干这行
That's an old business card.
这名片都什么年代的了
I also no longer do videotape rentals
我现在也不出租录像带
or teach the Macarena.
也不教玛卡雷娜舞了[著名舞曲]
But I have branched out into writing people's names
不过现在我开始做
on grains of rice.
米上刻字的生意
Here's my new business card.
这是我的新名片
But I don't open the portal into the spirit world anymore.
但我不会再开鬼界之门了
It's too dangerous.
太危险了
Why? Possessions?
为嘛是怕附身鬼
Poltergeists? Demons?
捣蛋鬼还是恶魔
No, worse. My dead grandma.
都不是我死去的奶奶比这些都可怕
She was annoying when she was alive...
她活着的时候就很烦人
She's downright unbearable as a spectral being.
做鬼之后明显也不是省油的灯
Please, Tyler, we don't need much.
求你了泰勒我们的要求很简单
We just want to know who he is and what he wants.
只想知道他是谁想要什么
And I have so many questions about heaven.
而且我还有一堆关于天堂的问题想要请教
Like, how do they keep birds from sneaking in there?
比方说他们怎么防止鸟偷偷飞进去
If you guys are willing to compensate me
如果你们能帮我付这三个披萨
for three pizzas and two cheesy breads... I'm in.
两块干酪面包的钱我就干
So, that's gonna be...
那就是
four bucks each.
每人四块钱
Did you drag us here just to pay for pizza?
叫我们来就是要我们付钱是吧
No. we invited you here to join us
不是我们邀请你们来
on our journey to the other side.
一起感受另一个世界
By the way, tickets to the other side are four bucks each.
只不过那门票是每人四块钱
But it comes with complimentary cheesy bread.
还加送干酪面包
I'm not sure it was such a great idea
我觉得吃完这些油腻的披萨
to eat all this greasy pizza before we hold hands.
再围坐握手不是个好主意
I don't know, just wipe it on your shirt.
我没意见用衣服擦擦就好
That's what I do.
反正我是这么干的
Yep. Everyone can see that.
是大家都看得到
And everyone can also see where you caressed by boob.
还看得到你抓我胸部的位置
Shh, shh. The portal's opening.
鬼界之门要打开了
I'm feeling the presence of a spirit.
我感受到鬼的存在了
Go ahead, ask him whatever you want.
开始吧随便问
Uh... I have a question for the big guy.
我有个问题
Hammerhead sharks, duckbill platypuses--
锤头鲨和鸭嘴兽是不是
were you just throwing leftover parts together at that point?
当时你用剩下的东西随便拼出来的
Let me try.
让我试试
Hello... Mr. Spirit.
你好啊鬼魂先生
Hello. I'm Virginia Chance.
我叫维吉妮亚·吉斯
I live here.
我住在这
You already know that from folding my underwear.
你叠我内♥裤♥的时候应该就晓得了
Which, uh, thank you for that, by the way.
对了谢谢你的帮忙
Are you always that friendly?
你一直都这么友善吗
I sense he is benevolent
我感觉得出来他人不错
and means you no harm.
而且对你们没有恶意
Who is he? Where does he come from?
他是谁什么地方来的
Tyler, how many times I gotta tell you?
泰勒我得跟你说多少次
Get a haircut.
拜托去剪个头
God, I think it's his grandma.
天我觉得是他奶奶
Who you calling grandma, grandma?
你叫谁奶奶呢
I remember from those six Martin Lawrence movies,
据我看过的六部马丁·劳伦斯[影星]电影推测
this is exactly what an old black grandma sounds like.
这声音明显是个黑人老奶奶
Tyler, I told you, quit hanging around these crazy honkeys.
泰勒别跟这些傻白鬼瞎混了
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
真是抱歉
Did she say anything bad?
她说了什么坏话没
She's a bit of a racist.
她有点种族歧视
So, you definitely felt our ghost?
你真的感觉到我家的鬼了
He was a good spirit, right?
他人很好对吧
I mean, I'm sure you get this all the time but
我知道这问题你都被问吐了
when I go to heaven will I be anatomically correct?
不过还是想知道登天后生理结构还会正常吗
'cause the angel I put on the Christmas tree's
我挂在圣诞树上面的那些天使
got nothing going on under his robe.
他们裤衩里都空荡荡的
No, it's not the holy ghost, it's just a ghost.
他不是圣灵只是鬼魂罢了
Sorry, Burt.
对不住了伯特
Now I gotta go home and clear the history on my browser.
我得回家把浏览器的历史记录删了
Grandma will not be happy if she finds out
奶奶要是知道我在网上看白妞
I was looking at white women on the computer.
肯定会生气的
Oh, hey, Burt.
你好伯特
You're out of fabric softener.
你家织物柔软剂用完了
What the hell, Burt?
搞毛啊伯特
You didn't have to hit me.
也不用打我吧
Of course I had to hit you.
我当然得打你
You're a creepy stranger in my house at night.
你是陌生人极具危险性还深夜闯进我家
You meet all the qualifications of someone I should hit.
符合所有被打条件
What do you mean? I'm not a stranger.
你什么意思啊我又不是陌生人
I'm the guy who watches your sex tape.
我可是看过你性♥爱♥录像的
Hey! No-no-no. I mean, I mean,
别介啊别介我是说
my wife and I, we found your sex tape.
我跟我老婆发现了你们的性♥爱♥录像
Don't you remember?
你不记得了吗
You hid it in an old clown doll which we ended up finding.
它藏在一个破小丑玩偶里后来被我们发现了
My wife and I watched that tape over and over again.
我跟我老婆不知疲倦地看了一遍又一遍
Not for the sex, but because seeing how you two related
不是冲着动作大戏而是你们之间的互动
to each other really helped out our marriage.
真的挽救了我们的婚姻
Oh, yeah, I remember.
我想起来了
So what the hell are you doing in my house?
那你在我家干嘛
Well, my wife and I had an argument
我跟老婆吵了一架
and I went a little overboard and left.
我一气之下就离开了
So I came to ask for your advice
所以我就想来问问你的意见
and... uh... the door was unlocked.
正好门又没锁
You weren't home, I had to go to the bathroom.
你不在家所以我就去了卫生间
So I opened the wrong door, found a closet,
结果开错门了发现一个橱柜
saw a hatch in the floor, discovered a bomb shelter.
看到地板上有个活动口然后找到了一个防空洞
It's pretty self-explanatory.
剩下的就不用多说了吧
We got a bomb shelter?
我家有防空洞
No wonder we never knew this existed.
怪不得我们从来不知道还有这个地方
This is really small.
这地方真小