家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S04E04

Part 4 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:03 p.m.

Oh, my God.
天啊
Doc!
医生
This says I could die.
这上面说我可能会送命
You didn't tell me that.
你之前没跟我说
That's just the disclaimer
就是个免责申明
for anyone going under general anesthetic.
所有要接受全身麻醉的病人都要签的
Don't worry, Burt.
别担心伯特
Only one out of every 10,000 people dies while they're under.
全麻的死亡概率只有万分之一
How many of these have you done?
你做过多少起这种手术
About 10,000.
差不多一万起吧
Never had a problem.
从没出过问题
Jimmy...
吉米
he's overdue for a death.
到一万了还没死过人
It's gonna be me. I can feel it.
所以要轮到我了我有预感
Get me the hell out of here.
带我出去
I don't want to die with a camera up my poop chute.
我不想死的时候菊花里还插着摄像机
Dad, it says "Unlikely."
老爸都说了死亡率低了
"Unlikely"? Unlikely things happen all the time.
死亡率低概率低的事天天都在发生
Michael Jordan grew a Hitler mustache.
迈尔克·乔丹长出了希♥特♥勒♥的胡子
That came out of nowhere. Nowhere!
简直莫名其妙莫名其妙
Jimmy Chance has done it again.
吉米·吉斯又传新视频了
It can't be that bad.
也许没那么糟啊
Ooh. That's not good.
确实不太乐观
Can I pop it? Just... No!
我能挤爆它吗不
Ever since I got these glasses, they've just made my life worse.
戴上眼镜之后我的生活变得愈发悲催
First, I saw how worn-out this house was,
先是看清了这个屋子有多不堪
and then when I started cleaning the mirrors,
等我擦干净家里的镜子后
I saw the house wasn't the only thing looking a little worn.
又发现不堪的不止是这个屋子
Well, not everyone can afford new clothes.
不是所有人都买♥♥得起新衣服
What's the matter with my clothes?
我衣服怎么了
Oh. Nothing.
没什么
I was talking about my face.
我说的是我的脸
I tried wearing more makeup
我往脸上摸更厚的粉
and fixing my hair,
整理发型
but underneath all that, I still got these little lines
但胭脂水粉之下我还是能看见
and dark circles under my eyes.
眼角的细纹和黑眼圈
Virginia, you still look great.
维吉妮亚你还是很漂亮的
Yeah, I know.
我知道
But I don't look 25.
但我已经不是25岁时的水嫩样了
I could pass for 28, tops.
至少也得看着像28啊
But these damn glasses make Burt look even better,
可伯特在这副眼镜之下变得更帅了
and I just know that eventually he's gonna realize
我知道他最终会意识到
I'm not the hot piece of ass I was one or two months ago.
我会慢慢人老珠黄
Don't some people say that it's what's
人们不是常说
on the inside that counts?
内心美才是最重要的吗
Yeah. Ugly people.
是啊丑人都这么说
Burt and I used to make fun of people
以前伯特和我常常一起嘲笑
who said things like that.
说这种话的人
Now he's gonna be making fun of me.
现在他也会嘲笑我了
Pretty sure he's got other things on his mind.
他现在还没心思想这事
I don't want to die!
我不想死
It's every father's dream to outlive his son.
虽然我们嘴上都说不愿白发人送黑发人
We all lie and say it's the opposite,
但每个父亲的梦想都是活得比儿子久
but it's time you knew the truth, Jimmy!
但我现在把真♥相♥告诉你了吉米
No! I'm coming, Burt!
不我来了伯特
No! No!
不不
Burt!
伯特
Whoa! Not the best time to startle me.
这时候吓我可不好
How'd you get in here?
你怎么进来的
Same as you. Through the back door.
和你一样啊走后门[后♥庭♥]
That's a good one.
这个梗好
Write that down, nurse.
记下来护士
What the hell is that?
那是什么鬼东西
That's your husband's colon.
那是你老公的结肠
At that moment, my mom saw
就在那时老妈看见了
the most disgusting part of my dad.
老爸身上最恶心的器官
But it didn't change how she felt about him.
但这并没有改变她对老爸的感情
And even though she almost lost her lunch,
尽管她已经快把午饭吐出来了
she gained some perspective on her relationship with my dad.
她却更加清楚地明白了她与老爸之间的感情
If she could still love him after seeing
如果在见识了老爸最恶心的部分之后
how gross he was on the inside,
她依然爱他
then, of course, he would love her
那老爸也一定会永远爱她
no matter what she thought about her outsides.
无论她如何贬低自己的容貌
Well, that's one in a row for you, Wild Bill.
一排撂倒一个就行西部枪神
I'm alive.
我还活着
Yeah, and they said everything looks great.
是啊医生说一切正常
Well, actually, it looks disgusting,
其实看着怪恶心的
but that's how it's supposed to look, so you're gonna be fine.
但恶心才正常所以你会没事的
Wow, that is some zit.
你长青春痘了
No, it's cute.
挺可爱的
Look like you did back in high school.
跟你还是个高中生一样
I don't know about the glasses, though.
但这副眼镜嘛我就搞不懂了
Every time I come in to kiss you,
每一次我想吻你的时候
I see my own reflection, and let's face it,
都能从镜片上看到我自己不得不承认
I'm not as young as I used to be.
我已经不是当年的年轻小伙儿了
I'll get contacts.
我换隐形眼镜
They're having a 50% off sale at Glasses Land.
眼镜世界全场五折
Hey, Burt.
伯特
Think this belongs to you.
这个是你的吧
Hey! My buffalo nickel.
我的水牛镍币
Thanks, Aquaman.
谢谢你水行侠
I think he's still feeling the anesthesia.
他还没从麻醉里缓过来呢
Hey, what are you doing?
你干什么呢
I thought we agreed not to put Hope
我们不是说好不把喜旺的视频
in any videos that we post.
传上网的吗
Oh, no, Jimmy, I'm not gonna post this.
不是的吉米我不会上传的
I-I'm done with that.
我玩够了
It's dumb to compete over these silly little videos.
为了这种傻不啦叽的视频争来争去太无聊了
And, look, we already inadvertently compete over
你看我们已经不知不觉地争了好多事了
Hope's affection and whose hair looks better,
像是喜旺更喜欢谁啊谁的发型更好看
who finishes first in the bedroom.
谁是床上小霸王啊
Undefeated.
在下独孤求败
Yes, you are.
可不是嘛
Hey, you, come here.
过来
Has Jimmy posted anything?
吉米上传什么视频了吗
No.
没有
What about Sabrina?
塞布丽娜呢
No.
啥都没有
What do we do now?
那我们现在怎么办
I guess we could live our lives.
活出自己的人生
What lives?
什么人生
Oh, look.
快看
"People screaming like goats."
像山羊一样叫的人