木兰尼的人生（2014）

Mulaney S01E13

Part 3 April 13, 2021, 10:53 a.m.

I love you.
-我爱你 -不要
- I love you! - No!
-我刚说了我爱你 -不要说我爱你啊
- Look, I just love you! - No, don't say "I love you"!
简罗迪奥已经进入状态了
Jane, Rodeo has entered the equation.
我们得走了
We need to go.
打死我都不走
I am not leaving
除非给我拿小熨斗和眉毛夹来
until I get my flatiron and my eyebrow tweezer.
我找谁去一栋消毒除虱的公♥寓♥
Whom am I going to get to go into a fumigated apartment
就给你拿你的...
just to bring you your--
"我去"
"I'll do it,"
我说完后拿上了包
I said, and then I grabbed the bag.
然后你告诉我地址
And then you gave me the address,
然后我又回来了
and then I came here.
我又不是当事人
You don't have to tell someone a story
所以你不用跟我说
if they were the other person in it.
把包给我谢谢
Give me the bag. Thank you.
又来客人了
Another guest.
卢·加侬你是我最喜欢的喜剧演员
Lou Cannon? You are my favorite comedian.
约翰你找来了加菲模拟艺人吗
John, you hired a Garfield impersonator.
太棒了
Fantastic.
伙计们这个游戏
Hey, gang, I got this great game
是GQ杂♥志♥票选出的必备游戏之一
on GQ's "What guys must have" list.
叫真心话大冒险
It's called truth or dare.
这是什么鬼
What is this?
-不是吧 -就是
- No! - Yeah.
没错
Yeah!
这不是我的化妆包
This isn't my makeup bag.
是我以前的单簧管
It's my old clarinet.
行了我们给你找个枕头套先套住头发吧
Okay, look, we're going to get you a pillowcase for your head.
没事的
It's okay.
不约翰不
No, John, no.
知道吗看到这根1994年的单簧管
You know, seeing this 1994 kataro advantage clarinet
还有备用簧片
with a backup reed,
我意识到一直以来我都在抗拒真正的自己
I'm realizing I have spent years fighting who I really am.
我甚至掩饰自己的口音
I even hid my accent.
姐以前是独一无二的存在
You know, I used to be unique.
姐以前还玩音乐
I used to be musical.
姐以前是格古什
I used to be Gagoosh.
所以各位我要再次成为她
And guess what, boys. I want to be her again.
行了
Okay.
这是退场音乐各位
Ugh, that's our exit music, everybody.
咱们走吧生日快乐
Let's go. Happy birthday.
等等等等我们先玩局真心话大冒险
B-b-but first, let's play truth or dare.
相信我约翰我是你的导师
Trust me, John. I'm your mentor.
好棒
Oh, it's so cool.
规则是这样的
These are the rules, look.
首先分组要不少于七组
You divide into no fewer than seven teams.
七组
What, seven teams?
我们才六个人
There's only six of us,
所以好像玩不成了
so I guess we can't play.
太遗憾了我们该走了
Oh, that's too bad. We should go.
拜拜卢
Bye, Lou.
莫迪福呢
Where's Motif?
我今晚特有感觉
I feel crazy tonight.
我爱你罗迪奥
I love you, Rodeo.
快来
Ah, yeah!
这下七个人了我们可以...
Now we're seven. We can play...
玩上一辈子了
forever and ever.
不好药劲上来了
Oh, my God, I'm tripping.
不是我刚才慢动作了而已
No, I'm doing slow-motion man.
比如真心话
So, like, truth--
我见过的最恐怖的事
Scariest thing I ever saw
就是看到安吉尔没有割包皮
was when this guy Angel was uncircumcised,
我当时真是惊呆了
and I was like, "No."
真正的惊呆了
You know, like, "No."
谢谢你讲的故事罗迪奥
Thank you for that story, Rodeo.
我们现在可以开始玩了吗
Should we start playing the game now?
我看看玩法介绍
Oh, let me check the directions.
话说奥斯卡我离那个还有多长时间
Hey, Oscar, how long do I have before you know what?
-18分钟 -好的
- 18 minutes. - Oh, okay.
这上面说游戏需要持续至少18分钟
Well, it says the game should last no longer than 18 minutes.
我们定好时好嘞
Let me set the timer. All right.
-卢真心话还是大冒险 -真心话
- Lou, truth or dare? - Truth.
-你多大了 -大冒险
- How old are you? - Dare.
左边
Left.
左边
Left!
我打到马特·劳尔[著名主播]了
I hit Matt Lauer.
他真是倒霉啊
He doesn't need that.
这样不对
This is not proper.
你们不该从窗户往下扔东西
You should not throw things from windows.
天我都忘了格古什有多烦人了
God, I forgot how annoying Gagoosh could be.
这游戏是坏孩子玩的小约约
This game is for bad boys, Johnny Juun.
原来你的口音是这样的吗
You've been hiding this accent?
我得去练习单簧管了
I need to go practice my clarinet.
莫迪福你准备好了吗
Okay, Motif. You ready to play the game?
真心话还是大冒险
Truth or dare?
你就喜欢你女王的样子宝贝
I love when you take charge, baby.
真心话
Truth.
你此生的挚爱是什么
Who or what is the great love of your life?
这个我知道你的答案
I think I know the answer to this one.
换做是我这个我就说谎哥们
I would lie on this one if I were you, buddy.
不我尊重这个游戏
No, I respect the game.
罗迪奥我爱你
Rodeo, I love you,
但我没有跟你相爱
but I'm not in love with you,
所以我不爱你
and also, I don't love you.
什么
What?
我要把这里拆了
I'ma tear this place up!
这里一半东西是我的
Half this stuff is mine!
这个奖杯是我的
This award is mine!
这件吹奏乐器是我的
This wind instrument is mine!
这傻♥逼♥钟表是我的
This stupid clock is mine!
这幅画当然也是我的
This painting for sure is mine!
约翰到你了
Hey, John, it's your turn.
真心话
Okay, truth.
你真正的导师是谁我还是这个嬉皮士
Who's your true mentor, me or the hippie?
你们都是我的导师
You're both mentors to me, okay?
你们的段子都很棒
You both have wonderful stories.
比如有次我跟埃德·科克[前纽约市长]一起
Like when Ed Koch and I played Chinese handball
在曼哈顿海滩玩手球
on Manhattan beach.
约翰最喜欢听纽约历史了
John loves New York history.
你整晚都盛气凌人
You know, you have been riding me all night
跟我对着干
with your aggro energy.
你自己也想成为段子吗
Do you want to have an anecdote off?
就像我以前跟杜鲁门·卡波特[作家]说的
Like I once said to Truman Capote,
"如果你想那样奉陪到底"
"If you want to do that, okay!"
就像我以前
Like I once said
跟《楚门的世界》选角导演说的
to The Truman Show casting director,
"你这样就大错特错了"
"You're making a big mistake!"
好那好
Okay, okay.
你敢出去跟我单挑吗
Do you want to step outside?
我可能看着不中用
I may look like I'm all sugar,
可我仍然是布鲁克林大汉
but I'm still a Brooklyn boy.
-走就走 -谁怕谁
- Let's go. - Oh, let's go.
-我们去单挑 -真是吓死人家了啊
- Come on, let's get it on. - Oh, I'm real scared.
夏加尔那幅画后面的保险箱
What's the combination to the safe
密♥码♥是什么
behind the Chagall painting?
111 里面还有把枪
One, one, one, and there's a gun in there.
这个派对太危险了各位
This party is all danger and boys.
我要报♥警♥了
I'm calling the police.
不能报♥警♥啊罗迪奥都来抢了两回东西了
You can't call the cops. Rodeo has two strikes.
不能报♥警♥啊