木兰尼的人生（2014）

Mulaney S01E11

Part 3 April 13, 2021, 10:52 a.m.

Give them half a smile and their face will be in your crotch.
等等你这说的是狗还是演员
Wait, are you talking about dogs or actors?
我说的是某个特定的演员
I'm talking about one specific actor.
从房♥顶扔下一个箱子属于乱扔垃圾吗
Yo, you know if it's littering if you throw a box off a roof?
话说你们在说什么呢
What y'all talking about?
我在告诉简要像对待男人一样对待她的猫
I was just telling Jane to treat this cat like a man.
要冷静学会欲擒故纵装疯卖♥♥傻
Be cold and withholding. Mess with his coconut.
有次我遇到了约翰·柯川
One time, I passed John Coltrane
却假装不知道他叫什么名字
and I pretended not to know his name.
我绝不会让任何人那么对待我
I would never let anyone treat me that way.
再见简你好奥斯卡
Oh, see ya, Jane. Hi, Oscar.
你叫什么来着
What was your name again?
-莫迪福 -幸会
- It's Motif. - Oh, pleasure to meet you.
他在跟我装疯卖♥♥傻
He's messing with my coconut!
话说虽然你真的想用强势反制慕兰尼
So you really want to power-move Mulaney back,
但是你手上没把柄
but you need some ammo.
对要是他有什么弱点就好了
Yeah, I just wish he had an Achilles' heel.
慕兰尼吗他哪里没弱点了
Mulaney? He is all heel.
他浑身都是弱点
He has an Achilles' body.
这是什么
What's this?
这是多年以来
This is a dossier
我收集的关于慕兰尼
of embarrassing things about Mulaney
所做糗事的档案
I've been collecting over the years.
你让他穿背心试试
Try to get him into a tank top.
为什么他胳膊好看吗
Why? Do his arms look good?
真会开玩笑
Good one.
来看看他特别不擅长运动
Let's see. He's terrible at sports.
这是他八年级篮球队的照片
Okay, this is a photo of his eighth grade basketball team.
他为什么穿成那样
Why is he dressed like that?
他参加了我们的圣母玛利亚团体
He went to our lady of the blessed virgin
他是吉祥物...
and he was the mascot...
圣母玛利亚
The blessed virgin.
他原来是个天主教♥徒♥啊
Oh, he's Catholic.
这样太适合智取他了
That's perfect for mind games.
太谢谢你了谢谢
Thank you so much. Thank you.
好继续抱着我继续
Okay, keep hugging me. Keep hugging me.
奥马尔在看我们吗它吃醋了吗
Is Omar watching us? Is he jealous?
这很难说
It's hard to tell.
它在使劲舔自己
Licking himself pretty hard.
我好嫉妒它啊
I'm jealous of him.
太好了他们每半小时就会重播一遍
Lucky for me, they rerun this dateline every half hour.
看到吗了那就是马克·艾伦·戴德
See, that is Mark Allen Dade.
他是佛罗里达的一个花♥花♥公♥子♥ 捅死了17个人
He was a Florida party boy who stabbed 17 men to death
全都是金发碧眼会滑冰的
and they all were blond rollerbladers.
想象一下自己喜欢的类型一下子
Imagine having a type and then finding, like,
找到了17个
17 of them.
佛罗里达真是个神奇的地方
Florida is an amazing place.
各位
Hi, boys.
奥马尔
Oh, hey, Omar.
我都没看到你在呢
I didn't even notice you there.
猫咪真乖
Good kitty.
猫咪真乖啊
Good kitty.
对我是一只乖猫咪
Yes, I am a good kitty.
莫迪福你回家了啊
Motif, you're home.
有谁在乎
Who cares?
我去教堂了
Well, I was at church.
如果我不去看看上帝
You know, my parents would be disappointed
我父母肯定会失望的
if I didn't visit the lord.
给你接住
Here. Catch.
约翰 B代表什么
Hey, John, what does "B" stand for?
B代表圣母
"B" stands for "Blessed,"
V代表玛利亚
and "V" stands for "Virgin."
圣母玛利亚我就是圣母
Blessed virgin. I'm a virgin.
加油吧各位
Go, boys!
-岂有此理 -怎样
- You! - Yeah.
-算你狠 -怎样
- Whoa! - Yeah.
-你够狠 -那又怎样
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
跟你没完
Oh, it is on.
送给莫迪福
你就是下一个我
爱你的杰瑞·宋飞[《宋飞传》主角]
狗与鼠
奥马尔
Omar?
我研究了连环杀手对这一角色有了深入理解
By studying serial killers, getting really deep into the role,
今晚在我们的节目上
tonight, on the show,
我要展示一下我的厉害
I'm gonna showcase my range.
你怎么知道斯科塞斯会看
How do you know Scorsese is gonna be watching?
你强势压倒他了吗
Did you power-move him?
算是吧
Sort of.
我的经纪人打电♥话♥给他求他看了
My agent phoned him up and begged him to tune in.
这是绝地武士风格吧
It's jedi-style stuff, you know.
你为什么穿成这样
Why are you dressed that way?
我还没跟你说
Oh, I didn't tell you.
莫迪福把我的衣服都捐给教堂了
Motif donated all my clothes to a church.
要是再去要回来
Now, I feel a little too guilty
我会有负罪感但是已经扯平了
to get them back, but I got even.
我把他的笑话本换成以色列护照了
I switched his joke notebook with an Israeli passport.
不过他还是让观众爆笑了
He still killed.
发"啊"这个音也很搞笑
"Uch" is a funny sound.
约翰重点是
John, here's the point--
你用气势压倒人的时候得注意
that you do have to be careful with power moves.
这个用在朋友身上是很危险的
It's very dangerous when you turn them on your friends.
你是觉得我太过了吗
So do you think I went too far?
是啊连马克·艾伦·戴德
Yes! Even Mark Allen Dade
都对自己的室友很和蔼
was kind to his roommates.
你都变成禽兽了
You've become a monster.
我不是禽兽我只是...
I'm not a monster. I just--
杀人犯的思维: 马克·艾伦·戴德
天哪我确实是个禽兽
Oh, my God. I am a monster.
对所以你快回去跟朋友和好吧
Yes, now--now, go back and patch things up with your friend.
现在...
Right now...
是时候探寻
It's time for me to explore
游戏节目世界恶魔的软肋了
the underbelly of the evils of the game show world.
我猜我猜我猜猜猜
下面来介绍一下参赛选手出场
Let's meet our contestants, shall we?
你好啊
Why, hello.
布伦达对吧
Brenda, is it?
你肯定是爸比最爱的孩子吧
I bet you're daddy's favorite little girl.
你去佛罗里达滑过冰吗布伦达
Have you ever gone rollerblading in Florida, Brenda?
你去滑冰的时候
You have to be careful
一定要注意啊
when you go rollerblading
否则膝盖可能会擦破皮
or a knee could get skinned.
你知道为了保护自己膝盖上
Do you know what you have to put on your knees
需要戴什么吗当你去...
to protect yourself when you go...
滑冰的时候
rollerblading?
护膝
Kneepads.
你...猜对了
You...guessed it!
你知道去滑冰时候
Do you know what you have to put on your knees
膝盖上需要戴什么吗
when you go rollerblading?
那哥们厉害啊
That dude has range.
接下来20分钟都是这样的
It goes on like this for another 20 minutes.
他拿到那个角色了对吧
He got the part though, right?
没有
No.
其实他差点连这个游戏节目都搞砸了
In fact, he almost lost the game show.
慕兰尼我们现在不玩气势压倒人真是太好了
Hey, Mulaney, I'm happy we're not doing power moves anymore.
真不敢相信我们竟然平白无故就斗了一周
I can't believe we fought all week over nothing.
我也不想那样了
I don't want to do power moves either.
我只要有怒火就往自己肚子里咽就好了
I'm just gonna push all my anger way deep down.
天主教♥徒♥都这样
That's the Catholic thing to do.
-至少还有简让我们脚踏实地对吧 -是啊
- At least we have Jane to keep us grounded, right? - Yeah.
各位终于成功了
Gentlemen, it happened.
我和奥马尔昨晚终于一起睡了
Omar and I finally slept together last night.
开始很慢但不知不觉中
It started slow, but before I knew it,
我们就完全扭在一起了