木兰尼的人生（2014）

Mulaney S01E08

Part 2 April 13, 2021, 10:52 a.m.

但那个角色本该属于我
but that role should have been mine.
我试镜时比他表现好
I had the better audition,
可最后麦考利却拿到了角色
and Macaulay somehow stole the part.
如果你看过我试镜时震慑全场的表现
If you saw my audition, if you saw how I nailed it,
你就知道我是什么意思了
you would know what I mean.
我不知道你还是个童星呢
Oh, I didn't know you acted as a child.
是的我在一个教堂拍当代圣人的广♥告♥时
Yes, I was in a church of latter-day saints commercial
我还有出境呢
where I split a cupcake.
但我只参加过《小鬼当家》这一部电影的试镜
Home Alone was the only movie I ever auditioned for, though.
我后来放弃了因为我没拿到主角后
I quit after that because when I didn't get the part
他们让我做麦考利的替身演员
they offered me the job of Macaulay's stand-in.
你拒绝了吗
And you turned it down?
那可是合作演出呢兄弟
That's a union gig, brother.
麦考利回来了
Mac's back.
-库尔金吗 -不
- Culkin? - No.
没错
Yes.
他要出演卢的节日特辑
He's doing a cameo in Lou's holiday special.
我个人是绝对不会去看的
Well, I for one was never going to watch it.
我怎么能和麦考利一起工作
How am I supposed to work with Macaulay around?
我受不了他
I can't stand him.
我看《宝贝小情人》时支持的是蜜蜂
When I saw the movie My Girl, I rooted for the bees.
我看《财神当家》时
And when I saw Richie Rich,
支持的是《宝贝小情人》里的蜜蜂
I rooted for the bees from My Girl.
约翰放松啦
John, relax.
现在不是1990年了
It's not 1990.
麦考利不是什么大明星了
It's not like Mac's some big star anymore.
是啊你就低着头
Yeah, just keep your head down
无视他像我演弹吉他的喜剧演员时一样
and ignore him, like I do comedians who play the guitar.
大家好
Hey, guys.
我是不是该把雪靴放在走廊里
Oh, should I leave my snow boots out in the hall?
你可以把你整个人放在走廊里
You can leave all of you out in the hall.
别这样我想出去玩
Come on, I wanna hang out.
我讨厌冬天
I hate winter.
我妈总把我打扮得傻了吧唧的
My mom always dresses me in ridiculous clothing.
幸好我在大厅里换了衣服
Luckily, I changed in the lobby.
真希望我能自己租♥房♥♥子
I wish I could afford my own place.
卢的特辑在找临时演员
Well, you know, Lou's special is looking for extras.
对想在圣诞赚外快的人来说
It's pretty good money for anyone looking for extra cash
应该是件好事
around the holidays.
你知道的
You know,
赚的钱可以给朋友买♥♥礼物
to buy their friends gifts with.
又怎么了
What?
好吧我能撑住的
All right. I can get through this.
不就是麦考利·库尔金吗谁在乎啊
It's just Macaulay Culkin. No one cares.
天呐是麦考利·库尔金
Oh, my God, it's Macaulay Culkin.
谁都在乎
Everyone cares!
约翰约翰麦考利来了
John. John, Macaulay's here.
我知道你们俩有过节
I know you two have a history,
但我不希望场面弄的太尴尬
and I don't want it to be awkward,
不如你跑到后门那儿去给他拿一下午餐吧
so why don't you scurry out the back door and get his lunch?
他说他想要"只为我准备的大份芝士披萨"
He says he wants "a large cheese pizza, just for me."
他的原话是"只为我准备的
He said the words "I want a large cheese pizza,
大份芝士披萨"吗
just for me"?
没错
Yeah.
但他说的语气更可爱
But it was cuter the way he said it.
真奇怪
Strange.
麦考利你好啊
Macaulay! Hi, there.
打扰了临时演员该去哪儿
Excuse me. Where do the extras go?
你好吗
Hey. How are you?
新的一天咯你懂的
Oh, another day, you know?
看出来了
I hear that.
你怎么不把你的脑袋摘下来
Why don't you take your head off?
好呼吸嘛
Breathe a little.
我倒是希望呢
I wish, right?
我是认真的
Oh, I'm serious.
这布偶人服装太厚了
These Zoggle costumes are thick.
你穿着这个可能会昏的
You could pass out in there.
人们看橄榄球联盟比赛会怕球员中暑
People talk about heatstroke in the NFL.
却没人在乎我们这些人偶会不会中暑
No one's talking about puppet heatstroke.
大概是因为这个问题比较小众吧
I guess because it's a very limited problem.
我不是人偶
I'm not a puppet.
好吧好吧好吧
Right, right, right.
我们是布偶人
We're Zoggles.
布偶人瘾君子
Zoggles, stoners.
随你怎么叫吧
Call us what you will.
记得申请专利就好
Just legalize it, right?
你是从哪儿看的眼睛还是嘴巴
Do you see through the eyes or the mouth in that thing?
当然是眼睛啊
The eyes.
难道还能用其他地方看东西吗
I didn't think the other way was possible.
好吧
All right, well,
今天是排舞的大日子
we got a big day of choreography.
我们该去舞台上了
We should head to stage.
我讨厌这个特辑
I hate this special.
那我们俩可有共同点了朋友
Then you and I have something in common, mi amigo.
杰西·泰勒·穆尼奥斯
Jesse Tyler Munoz?
正是在下如假包换
In the flesh. One and the same.
你现实生活中西班牙口音更重啊
You have a much thicker Spanish accent in real life.
我想让世界看到仅凭一点点传统
I wanted to show the world that I could win Alma Awards
就足以让我获得拉丁媒体艺术奖
with just a smidge of my heritage.
你在为加侬的圣诞特辑做准备啊
So you're working on the Cannon Christmas special?
你得出去了穆尼奥斯
You need to get out of here, Munoz.
你休想偷用哪怕一点我们的创意
You're not gonna steal a thing from us.
说得好像我需要盗用你们的创意一样
Like I need to steal anything from you guys.
装饰灯光
Decorations, lights...
你需要连"灯光"二字都写下来吗穆尼奥斯
You need to write down "lights," Munoz?
出去
Get out of here.
好吧
Fine.
我得主持惊叫E点频道的
I have to host the countdown
年度十条在海滩上看起来
for the top ten worst dog beach bodies of the year
最丑的狗狗节目
for the "E Exclamation Point" channel.
但正如我今早和门卫说的
But as I said to my doorman this morning,
你们还没见识杰西·泰勒·穆尼奥斯的
you have not seen the last
真正本领呢
of Jesse Tyler Munoz.
柱子
Column.
大礼物
Big present.
彩排得太棒了
Great rehearsal.
给你做这个布偶人戏服的人
Whoever built your Zoggle body
真是个天才
is a genius.
是啊
Yeah, well...
老天让我如此特别
God made me special.
荣耀归于上帝
All glory to God.
我最好脱了这外套然后给我老婆打个电♥话♥
Well, I should probably get out of this suit and call my wife.
在这行里保持忠贞真是太不容易了
It's so hard staying faithful in this business,
但至少在城里的时候
but I try to be a good bird,
我尽量做个好人
at least while I'm in town.
不错啊
Cool.
先走了
All right.
我得昏一会儿了
I'm gonna pass out for a second.
有人忘了这个布偶
Someone left this Zoggle out.
把它装箱明天用
Box it up for tomorrow.
怎么了老兄
What's up, baby boy?
你们来啦
Hey, guys.
谢谢你们来看我我今天过得很不顺
Thanks for dropping by. I was having a really rough day.
我们也是
Us too.
我们一直想给你挑份礼物
We've been trying to find a gift for you.
我们甚至去霍伯肯问那个菲律宾圣诞老人
We even went to Hoboken to ask the Filipino santa,
但他就笑嘻嘻地拿着烟
but he just cackled through his cigarette
然后给了我们些奇怪的姜饼
and gave us these weird ginger snaps.
所以呢你们就准备给我张海报吗
So what, you got me a poster?
其实这是我三年级时的一张
Oh, actually this is a Home Alone poster