木兰尼的人生（2014）

Mulaney S01E04

Part 3 April 13, 2021, 10:51 a.m.

They're only playing nine nights,
然后就会离开整整一个月呐
and then they leave for a whole month!
你们三认识多久了
How long have you three known each other?
你干什么呢做读书报告吗
What are you doin', a book report?
我认识她们很多年了
Look, I've known them each for years.
但是1970年之前图蒂和沃蒽一直看彼此不顺眼
But until 1970, Tutti and Vaughn hated each other!
-我们看彼此不顺眼 -我看她不顺眼
- We hated each other. - I hated her.
你们看彼此不顺眼吗
You hated each other?
如果不介意的话我想问问
Hey, if you don't mind me asking,
你们俩是怎么成为朋友的
how did you two women become friends?
又是这个问题
Another question!
要有教养
Be civil.
我们因同一件事结缘
Look, we bonded on the same thing.
我们都讨厌太空计划
We both hated the space program.
上月球那家伙就是个大骗子
And that moon guy was a fraud!
人怎么能站在球上呢
You can't stand on a circle!
-女士们这个我们不是说过了吗 -啥
- Ladies, we've been through this. - Oh, what?
那是个跟橙子一样的天体
It's a sphere like this orange.
两个女人可以因为讨厌同一事物而成为朋友
So two women can be friends if they hate the same stuff.
我的朋友简她讨厌我的新女朋友
You see, my friend Jane, she hates my new girlfriend.
这下有好戏看了
Oh, now it's a story.
如果她们讨厌同一件事情
Maybe if they hate something in common,
说不定能好好相处呢但是会讨厌什么呢
they'll get along. But what would that be?
我说你到底要不要卖♥♥给我们大♥麻♥
Look, are you gonna sell us some pot, or what?
不是他他不是卖♥♥大♥麻♥的
Wrong guy. He doesn't have the pot.
不好意思
Oh, sorry.
卖♥♥大♥麻♥的吗是吗
Pot guy? Pot guy?
你好奥斯卡女士们
Hello, Oscar. Ladies!
-我们需要一大包去看史提利丹表演 -好
- We need a big bag for Steely Dan. - Okay.
我去给你拿五块钱
I'll get $5.00.
慕兰尼啊
Hey, Mulaney,
你还来我的布鲁斯表演吗
are you still comin' to my blues show?
对啊你的布鲁斯表演太好了
Oh, your blues show. That's perfect!
这个绝对可以成为两人都讨厌的东西
That is something everyone can not like together.
我能带简和我的新女朋友去吗
Hey, is it okay if I bring Jane and my new girlfriend?
女士免费哦
Oh, ladies get in free.
谁去都免费
Everyone gets in free.
不管你是谁...
I don't care who you are...
你肯定会从这个该死的月亮上掉下去的
You're gonna fall right off this frickin' moon.
-接的不错 -是啊
- Good catch. - Yeah!
我之前不知道你还喜欢布鲁斯音乐啊
I didn't know you liked blues... Music.
我不喜欢
Oh, I don't.
你也可以尽管不喜欢
And you should feel free to hate this.
谁知道呢说不定还有别人不喜欢
I mean, who knows, maybe someone else will hate it.
我就喜欢你这样
I love how you're so deadpan
说笑话的时候面无表情不动声色
and don't hit the joke too hard.
-你好 -你来了简
- Hi! - Hi, Jane.
亲爱的你好
Hey, sweetie.
二三四
Two, three, four!
*做安德烈可不容易*
*It ain't easy bein' Andre*
天哪
Oh, my God.
他真是太垃圾了
He is such a tool.
你说什么安德烈可是我们的朋友
Excuse me... Andre is a friend of ours.
他才不是
No, he's not.
这个演唱会确实很差劲不是吗美女们
Come on, this is awful, right, ladies?
简直糟糕透顶
It's terrible.
我觉得很不错啊
Well, I think it's good.
简你想想你这是在干什么
Jane, think about what you're doing.
你在维护安德烈
You are defending Andre.
那你想一起去看加拉格尔秀吗
Would you prefer it if we went to a Gallagher Show?
加拉格尔现在根本不巡演了好吗
Gallagher isn't even touring right now.
你到底哪里看我不顺眼
And what is your problem with me?
简拜托了
Jane, come on.
她不种族歧视也不迷信
She's not racist. She's not wiccan.
就给她次机会吧
Give her a shot.
你们俩之间很奇怪啊
You two have some weird thing going on.
我走了你知道吗
I'm leaving. You know,
别人说你山寨《宋飞传》时我还维护你了
I defend you when people say you're a Seinfeld rip-off.
《宋飞传》:美国系列喜剧
什么...
Wh--
不要走嘛
No! Come on, stay!
安德烈马上就用拟声法演唱了
Andre's about to scat.
*A-e-i-o*
*知道我的意思吧*
*You know what I mean*
你给搞砸了
You ruined this!
莫迪福说得对你就是吃醋
Motif is right. You're jealous.
吃醋吃她的醋吗
Jealous? Of her?
因为你吗
With you?
男女之间那种吗
Sexually?
我怎么知道可能是吧
I don't know. Maybe?
你说得对约翰我就是吃醋
You're right, John. I'm jealous.
知道吗有时我看到你的身体就欲♥火♥焚身
You know, sometimes I crave your body so much,
所以没办法我只好去亲冻鸡肉发泄
I kiss a cold piece of chicken.
我真希望那会是我
Oh, I wish that could be me,
看着你用手♥机♥自带的手电筒
watching you use your cell phone flashlight
去找安全套
to find a condom,
你死沉死沉地压在我身上
lying there with your deadweight on me,
完全沉浸在自己的宗教世界里...
totally in your own Catholic head...
就只是想拖延不可避免的那一刻的到来
just trying to delay the inevitable.
然后你看着我的眼睛
And then, the look you give me
好像在说 "那个你高..."
as if to say, "Mm... Did you..."
不约翰我没有
And, no, John, I didn't!
做梦去吧
That's the dream!
细节你都猜的挺准嘛
Hey, lucky guess on those details.
卢卢我一收到短♥信♥就来了
Lou? Lou, I came when I got your text.
要测试什么
What's this trial run?
我在卫生间呢
I'm in the bathroom!
好吧我等你
All right, I'll wait.
不不不你进来
No, no, no. Come in.
你这是在装死吗
Are you pretending to be dead?
你~~~猜对了
Youuuuu guessed it!
快把我抱起来
Now, lift me.
为什么要这样
Why are we doing this?
我都想好了
Because I've cracked it.
如果我死在厕所里然后你发现了
If I die on the toilet and you find me,
那你要在别人发现我的尸体前把我抱出来
then you're gonna carry me off before my body is found.
我应该装得跟死人一样死沉死沉的
Oh, I should go deadweight.
我说卢恕我直言
Okay, Lou, with all due respect,
这不是我的工作说实话这简直太扯了
this isn't my job. Frankly, this is crazy.
我觉得不扯啊
I don't think it's crazy.
约翰演艺圈就是看你怎么登场
John, show business is about the entrance
怎么谢幕
and the exit.
知道吗我进入演艺圈靠的就是
You know, I entered my career with a bang
在白人版《绿野仙踪》里
playing scarecrow
扮演一个稻草人一炮走红
in the all-white version of The Wiz.
但是我想让自己死也死得风风光光
But I want my exit to be on a high note,
-把我放在沙发上 -好
- lying on that couch... - Okay.
我再看本书...
Reading a book...
是《源泉》让大家都猜去吧
The Fountainhead-- keep them guessing.
还有...对了我不能穿着这个
And... Oh, I can't be wearing this.
把裤子拿给我好吗
Get me those jeans, won't you?
-好 -谢谢好
- Okay. - Thanks. Okay.
给你穿上
Yeah. There we go.
好来穿上
All right. Okay.
裤子有点紧啊
They're a little tight.
我知道就是不合身
No, I know. They don't fit.
你使劲给我往上拽
You have to shimmy them.
好我使劲给你拽
All right, I'm shimmying them.
克里斯汀
Kristen!
你好你怎么来了
Hi. What are you doing here?
你好我来是想为跟简吵架的事
Hi. I just wanted to apologize
跟你道歉