木兰尼的人生（2014）
Mulaney
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木兰尼的人生（2014）
Mulaney S01E01
Part 4
April 13, 2021, 10:49 a.m.
你要我开免提吗 好吧
Oh, you prefer to be? Okay.
约翰 卢想见你
Hi, John. Lou wants to see you.
他有新任务给你
He has another job for you.
怎么了
Oh, what happened?
纸板卢都去杀应♥召♥女了不成
Did cardboard Lou kill an escort?
我知道你很辛苦 约翰
I know it's hard, John.
我在升职前也是个作家
I was a writer too before I got promoted.
慕兰尼
我现在不自信了
I'm not confident now.
我小时候很自信的
I was confident when I was a kid.
比如说 我现在是直的
Like, I'm straight,
但我小时候绝对是弯弯的
but I was definitely gay when I was a little boy.
很多小孩子都是弯的 他们萌萌的
A lot of little boys are gay. You know, they're very flowy
对待事物很有自己的看法
and they have strong opinions on things.
我不是说我自己小时候觉得男性对我
I don't mean that I was a sexually active gay man
更有性吸引力 我不是这个意思
when I was a child, that's not what I'm saying.
我更像一个已经七十多岁的基佬
I was more like a 70-year-old gay man
那会儿已经对性不感兴趣了
who's kind of over it sexually, you know?
我就像一个年长的女王
I was like an old queen.
我会外出休假 然后这样
Like, I would go out to recess and be like,
"大家都给我把路让开"
"Everyone get outta my way.
"我就只想安静地坐在这里喂喂鸟而已"
I just wanna sit here and feed my birds."
体育老师让我去踢球玩时
The gym teacher would tell me to play kick ball,
我会弱弱地问一句"泥想让我♥干♥神马"
and I'd be like, "You want me to do what?"
-你好 -你好 奥斯卡
- Oh, hello. - Hi, Oscar.
我要让这株蕨类植物休息一下
I'm giving the fern a time-out.
它今天真够耍大牌的
He's being a real diva today.
你气色不太好 进屋喝杯茶吧
You don't look so good. Come in and have some tea.
奥斯卡 我很想去
Oh, Oscar, I'd love to,
但是我得回去继续做我梦寐以求的工作了
but I have to get back to my dream job.
别闹了 进来喝杯茶吧
Nonsense, come in for tea.
租这栋公♥寓♥一个月要八十美金呢
I pay $80 a month for this apartment,
我可不想都浪费了
and I want people to enjoy it.
谢谢
Thanks.
等等 一个月八十吗
Wait, you pay $80 a month?
我知道 话说你新工作怎么样了
I know. So what's this new job?
我现在帮那位喜剧大♥师♥写本子
Oh, I'm writing for this big comedian now.
你知道卢·加侬吗
Do you know Lou Cannon?
他就是乔恩·斯图尔特[脱口秀主持]吗
Is he the one that's Jon Stewart?
-不是 -我可喜欢乔恩·斯图尔特了
- No. - I love Jon Stewart.
好吧
Yeah.
那你这份工作怎么样
So how's the job?
说实话 奥斯卡 糟透了
Honestly, Oscar, it's bad.
我以为给卢工作会让我的情况有所改变
I thought that working for Lou was gonna change things for me,
但目前为止我做的一切都毫无意义
but so far, the whole experience has been pointless.
这样啊 这我不喜欢
Mm. I don't like that.
我给你看个东西 先喝杯茶吧
Let me show you something. Have some tea.
看到这个土耳其茶盘了吗
See this Turkish tea tray?
这是我在华尔街混的时候出差时买♥♥的
I got it on a business trip during my Wall Street days.
你还在华尔街混过啊
I didn't know that you worked on Wall Street.
我在那里卖♥♥过自行车啊
That's where my bicycle shop was.
总之 一次我去土耳其
Anyway, I went to Turkey to cut a deal
购买♥♥香蕉座套
for some banana seat covers.
可是那个卖♥♥家竟然是个骗子
Turns out the dealer was a crook!
但我在土耳其的时候 发现了这个神奇的茶盘
But while I was there, I found this amazing tea tray.
你明白我的意思了吗
Do you fully see what I mean?
不是很明白 但是你这样说话让人很放松
Not really, but you talking is very relaxing.
我永远不会后悔去了土耳其
Well, I'll never regret my trip to Turkey
因为我从中得到了有价值的东西
because I got something valuable out of it.
你现在这份工作可能不尽人意
Now, this job of yours may be a drag,
但是你得找到
but you have to find out
里面属于自己的茶盘
if there's a tea tray in it for you.
如果我找不到茶盘呢
But what if I can't find a tea tray?
那就不干了
Then quit.
不干的时候 一定要弄得满城风雨
And when you quit, make a scene.
我每次辞职 他们都得报♥警♥
Every time I quit a job, they had to call the cops.
我可喜欢警♥察♥了
I adore cops.
只修一下眼睛和脖子部分就行了
Just airbrush under the eyes and neck.
我想自然一点 就这样吧
I want to keep it natural. There you go.
谢谢 回见
Thanks, see you later.
卢
Lou.
太好了 你来了
Oh, good, you are here.
我们需要个替身演员彩排
We need a stand-in for the rehearsal.
男性替身今天迟到了
The male stand-in is late.
你去那边表现得男人一点就行了
Just go over there and act masculine.
我才不去当替身 我可是个作家
I'm not gonna be a stand-in. I'm a writer.
我们需要好好谈谈
And we need to talk about this.
我需要知道做这份工作我能得到什么
I need to know if there's anything in this job for me.
那我们就好好聊一聊
Well, let's hash it out.
彩排准备开始
Rehearsal's up.
但是鉴于我们正在彩排
But since we're in rehearsal,
洛夫蒂 你把约翰安排到那边
Lofty, can you put John there,
我要站在...
and I'm gonna stand, um...
我站这里 对 就是这里
I'll stand here, right there. There.
好了 有什么你就尽管说吧
Now, don't be afraid to speak your mind.
你想这样跟我谈吗
This is how you want to talk?
我非常喜欢这样
I very much prefer it.
好吧 卢 我已经给你工作一周了
Okay, Lou, I have worked for you for one week,
目前为止 我做的
and so far, all I've done
就只有每晚熬夜到凌晨六点
is stay up until 6:00 a.m. every night,
看你吃布丁 说段子
watching you eat pudding and riff.
我根本没机会说单口相声
I never get to do standup.
这份工作到底对我有什么好处
What's in this job for me?
这道题的答案我们来问一下迪恩·凯恩[演员]
For the answer, let's go to Dean Cain.
我的答案是B 光合作用
I answered "B." Photosynthesis.
你~~~答对了
Yo-o-o-o-ou guessed it!
这份工作果然不适合我
Oh, there's nothing here for me.
再见了 卢
Good-bye, Lou.
等等 约翰 别跟个13岁的犹太小女孩一样
Wait, John, don't storm out like a little Bat Mitzvah girl.
你快帮我检查一下这些提示卡片
I want you to proof those cue cards.
什么
What?
等等
Wait a second,
这些是我的笑话吗 我帮你写的那些
are these my jokes? The ones I wrote for you?
确实是你写的
Well, you wrote them,
但是我要加入点自己的东西
but then I'm gonna put my own spin on them
然后讲出来听
and then say them.
你要在电视上讲我写的笑话吗
You're gonna say jokes that I wrote on TV?
我知道接下来你想说什么 我会给你开工资的
I know where this is going. Yes, you're gonna get paid.
我只是...
I just, um...
弗兰科 吐钱炮 来一炮
Franco? Money cannon, one blast.
哇塞 一百块
Whoa, a hundred bucks!
一百块吗 那给错了
A hundred bucks? No, that's not right.
给你 二十就够了
Here you go, 20, perfect.
好吧 谢了
All right, thanks.
那我们明天见
So will I see you tomorrow?
好的 卢 因为...
Yes, you will, Lou, because...
我找到我的茶盘了
I got my tea tray.
哈哈 真是茶盘啊
Ha ha! That is so tea tray.
你以后的路还长着呢 小子
You're gonna go far, little one,
但是这是个很艰苦的行业
but it's a tough, tough business.
会有升升降降起起伏伏
There are ups and there are downs.
就像那个说"事儿妈"笑话的家伙一样
It's like that "Problem bitch" guy.
哪一天你的笑话风靡全国了
One day, your joke is sweeping the nation,
然后就可以当我们的嘉宾了
the next, he's our stand-in.
慕兰尼
Hey, Mulaney.
记得写我啊
Mention me.
慕兰尼的人生
第一季第一集
木兰尼的人生（2014）
Mulaney
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