木兰尼的人生（2014）

Mulaney S01E10

Part 2 April 13, 2021, 10:52 a.m.

Do you know that the game show is so successful
电视网想要制♥作♥一档
that the network wants to produce
拿你开涮的节目
a special roast of yours truly.
是个不错的主意
That's kind of a cool idea,
但不得不说
but I got to say,
我没想到你竟让会让人们拿你开涮
I'm surprised you're gonna let people roast you.
我可都听到了
Oh, please. I've heard it all.
我可是1989年夏季戏剧《法式吐司》的
You forget I was the star of 1989's failed summer comedy
《法式吐司》
主演卢·加侬
主演
French Toast.
当然《法式吐司》
Of course, French Toast.
我耍了旅行作家麦克·摩尔
I played travel writer Mike Moore
而史卓贝瑞耍了我的剪辑师
opposite Darryl Strawberry, who played my editor.
他真的很擅长推销自己我们才让他剪辑电影的
In fact, he was so convincing, we let him edit the movie.
这可是个大错
That was a big mistake.
我小时候还是很喜欢这部电影的
But I loved that movie as a kid.
你的表演让人捧腹
You're hilarious in it.
还记得结尾那一场戏吗
Like, remember the scene at the end--
我从箱子里跳出来
When I pop out of the suitcase,
所有人都惊呆了我说....
and everyone's startled, and I say...
什么难道你还想让我送你旅行支票吗
what, you were expecting traveler's checks?
那太棒了
That is great.
都是写得好啊
The writing.
不过我一直很想知道
Though I've always wondered,
为什么你的角色会在皮箱里
why is your character in the suitcase?
因为我是个通缉中的珠宝大盗嘛
Well, I need to be smuggled over the border
我总得偷偷地出境吧
because I'm wanted for being a jewel thief.
我们专门搞了个场景来解释这一段
We cut a scene that explained the plot.
我知道了我知道了
I see. I see.
约翰你记不记得我跟你说过
Hey, John, remember when I told you
这份工作会给你带来很大的机遇
this job could lead to great opportunities?
你想来当我的吐槽嘉宾吗
How would you like to be one of the roasters?
-真的吗 -当然
- Really? - Yeah.
你愿意让我去参加你的吐槽会吗
You would let me be on your roast?
谢谢你这太好了
Thank you. That's amazing.
我从来没上过电视
You know, I've never been on TV before,
除非你算上那个网络节目
unless you count that web series.
不算
We don't.
我要上全国联播的吐槽会了
Wow, I'm gonna be on a network roast.
太棒了我要告诉我爸妈
This is awesome. I want to tell my parents.
咱们现在就告诉他们来吧
Oh, let's tell them right now. Come on.
唐娜打电♥话♥给慕兰尼夫人
Donna, get Mrs. Mulaney on the phone.
好的卢
Yes, Lou.
我只是很喜欢
Yeah, I just love seeing people
看别人告诉父母好消息
tell their parents exciting news.
你好这里是慕兰尼家
Hello, Mulaney residence.
我在你家里
I'm in your house.
我要杀了你
I'm going to kill you.
太好玩了
Oh, that was great.
下一个恶作剧谁
Who else shall we prank?
我真喜欢50年代的淑女范啊
I'm really getting into this lady of the '50s thing.
我在约会时该说些什么
Okay, so what should I say on my date?
什么都不说淑女总是聆听别人
Nothing. Ladies listen.
我妈妈就是50年代最伟大的聆听者之一
My mother was one of the great 1950s listeners.
她还会穿着高跟鞋打扫房♥子
And she would vacuum the entire house in heels,
我也是
as would I.
有意思
Interesting.
简你搞什么
Jane, what was that?
打喷嚏
A sneeze.
不不不
No. No, no, no.
你打喷嚏绝对不能发出声音
When you sneeze, you never make a noise.
你要是感觉脑子快炸了
If it feels like your brain is exploding,
才算做对了
then you're doing it right.
所以我整晚一句话都不说吗
So I just stay quiet the whole night?
不不不
No, no, no.
我们要教你一首鸡尾酒会歌♥
We're gonna teach you a cocktail hour song.
男人就喜欢看表演
Men love to be entertained.
我还想看看你的内服
And I wouldn't mind seeing you in some period attire.
内服
Period attire?
你是说我的睡裤和连帽衫吗
You mean like pajama pants and my giant hoodie?
不
No.
为"内"个时候穿的衣服
Clothing from that time period.
我们还要做很多事呢
We have a lot of work to do.
这个礼仪纪录片就是那时候拍的
This newsreel on manners is from that time.
你可能会看到有个小男孩在跳舞
You may recognize the little boy playing the dunce.
-就是伦家啦 -不是吧
- It's me. - No!
我不知道你还会演戏啊
I didn't know you acted.
我是不会啊
I didn't,
但我每次去学校前都做好了上镜的准备
but I always came to school camera-ready.
那就是我
There I am.
你要去吐槽卢·加侬
You're gonna roast Lou Cannon?
小慕慕太酷炫了
Young Moolah, that's amazing.
要是你想通宵想段子
If you need to stay up all night writing jokes,
我可以友情卖♥♥你点药
I'm having a sale on study pills.
吃一片准保你整晚都跟打了鸡血似的
You take one of those, and you can focus all night.
不行
Nah, I shouldn't.
上一次我吃了一片
The last time I took one of those pills,
我整晚都在写恶搞空中铁匠乐队的歌♥
I stayed up and wrote those Aerosmith parody songs.
然后你记得吗那些歌♥
And then, remember, they just turned out
后来就变成了空中铁匠的新歌♥
to be anther Aerosmith songs.
你确定能吐槽你的上司吗
Hey, are you sure roasting your boss is a good idea?
要是我就会很小心
I'd be careful.
我夸了一下老板的胸肌就被扫地出门了
I got fired just for complimenting my boss' breasts.
他满脸都写着"你给我滚"
He was like, "You get out of here."
是啊
Yeah.
安德烈说得有道理
Andre could be right.
吐槽卢还是挺冒险的
Roasting Lou might be dicey.
该死我真的很想去啊
Damn it, and I really want to do this.
付我七百呢
It pays 700 bucks.
税后还剩八十呢
That's, like, $80 after taxes.
慕兰尼不要慌
Mulaney, don't panic.
我觉得你应该没问题
I think you may be okay.
卢是个成功人士
Lou is really successful,
他知道你很崇拜他
and he knows you look up to him.
人们一般不会介意
People can take a joke from somebody
比自己低好几个档次的人嘲笑自己
who's so obviously lower status than them.
要是一个牛排嘲笑热狗
See, if a steak makes fun of a hot dog,
那真是太残忍♥了
that's cruel.
但要是一个热狗嘲笑牛排
But if a hot dog makes fun of a steak,
牛排君根本不在乎
the steak ain't gonna care.
对啊他就是个二百五热狗啊
Right, because he's just a dumb hot dog.
所以我是二百五热狗咯
So I'm a dumb hot dog?
安德烈
Okay. Andre.
安德烈
Andre.
我没叫他热狗吧
I didn't call him a hot dog.
让我向大家介绍简·帕瓦涅小姐
May I now present Miss Jane Parvanah--
等等这样不行
Wait. That won't do.
我要换一个
I'm gonna change it.
简·梦露
Jane Monroe.
用过晚膳了吗先生们
Have you had dinner, gentlemen?
想来点猪排配水果吗
Would you like any pork chops with hot fruit?
好厉害简嗑嗨了
Oh, cool. Jane's on ecstasy.
其实奥斯卡在教我如何做个优雅的淑女
Actually, Oscar has been giving me etiquette lessons.
今天工作怎么样
How was work today?
淑女永远会关心绅士的生计问题
A lady always takes an interest in a gentleman's livelihood.
真的吗
Oh, really?
因为莫迪福和我刚在讨论
Because, you know, Motif and I were just discussing
单口相声的细节问题
the ins and outs of stand-up comedy.
多么有趣啊
Oh, how interesting.
告诉我吧
Tell me everything.
我对你的单口相声很感兴趣