木兰尼的人生（2014）

Mulaney S01E12

Part 3 April 13, 2021, 10:53 a.m.

Like, they made a Rio 2.
你知道要是我的孩子喜欢这部电影我会怎么做吗
You know what I would do if my kid liked the movie Rio?
我会让他再看一遍第一部
I would show him Rio again.
小孩子总是想做点什么
Kids always want to do something,
但是等你长大后你就会发现
but when you get older, you'll realize
什么都不做才是最好的
there's nothing more fun than not doing something,
尤其是你应该去做一件事的时候
especially when you were supposed to do it.
要说一时爽快临时取消计划就跟吸毒一样
In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
你想怎么付款一人一半吗
What do you want to do here, 20 each?
不人这一生只要走出学校
No, school is the last time in your life
就再也不用必须回答别人的问题了
when you will have to have answers to people's questions.
如果有人现在来找我说约翰
Like, if someone came to me now and they were like, "Hey, John,
说说1775年印花税法案的三个意义
name three things that the stamp act of 1775 accomplished,"
我会说老子不知道给我滚
I'd be like, "I don't know, get out of my apartment."
你长大后回首现在喜欢的男孩子
You will look back on the boys you have a crush on now
肯定会大笑
and laugh.
他们不过就是
They are little rats
只会胡闹贪吃长了几根胡子的小屁孩
with cheese ball-covered fingers and rat mustaches.
谢谢简那是简
Thank you, Jane. That was Jane.
约翰我能跟你说件事吗
John, can I tell you something?
其实有时我不喜欢我妈
Sometimes, I don't really like my mom.
谢天谢地我知道你是什么意思
Ohh, thank God. I know exactly what you mean.
-我是说 -不我是说...
- I mean-- - I mean, no. I mean...
她也没做错什么
There's nothing wrong with her.
-是的就是... -什么都没错
- No, exactly, it's just-- - Nothing.
-她真的很好 -对
- She's perfectly nice. - Yeah.
可她就是有点问题对吧
It's just, she's kind of whack, right?
-简直疯狂 -对
- Crazy, yes. - Yes.
所以我和乌比就在迪克·克拉克的葬礼上
So Whoopi and I were at what became Dick Clark's funeral.
迪克·克拉克
Dick Clark!
多喜欢哗众取宠的人才会吃饭的时候提"乌比"
What kind of hype man leaves the name "Whoopi" on the table?
卢再说一遍你是怎么被踢出
Lou, tell us again how you were cut
《电脑娃娃》一剧的试播集的
from the pilot of Small Wonder.
还是算了吧我都说过两遍了
Oh, no, come on, I've already told you twice.
你真的不想吃东西吗
Are you sure you're not gonna eat anything?
没事我更喜欢听你的故事
Oh, that's okay. I like the stories.
不得不说你这人真会说话
You're messed up, I'll tell you that much.
对了三位如果我们想更进一步
Hey, listen, guys, if we want to take this to the next level,
今晚有个私人活动
you know, I know of a private event tonight.
杰森·亚历山大邀请大家吃个便饭
Jason Alexander is having a potluck,
我跟他说了你们三个他好像很感兴趣
and I told him about you three, and he seemed into it.
反正就是
You know, it's just--
就是杰森给你们提供吃的然后一群
Just a--just a bunch of safe, anonymous storytelling
匿名无害的人讲故事
while Jason feeds you.
你们觉得呢
What do you say?
民以食为天
Food up front.
这是怎么了
Hey, what's wrong?
其实我不想在才艺表演的时候
I don't really want to do doop the dew
表演露水滴滴
for the talent show.
我觉得我妈妈让我表演这个
You know, I feel like my mom is making me do it
是因为她后悔没能跳舞
because she regrets not being a dancer.
怎么能这样
Oh, yeah, that is rough,
就因为自己后悔就把自己的梦想强加到孩子身上
forcing your dreams on a kid just because you have regrets?
真是...
That is--
你知道你应该表演什么吗
Do you know what you should do for the talent show?
你应该表演《新科学怪人》[喜剧电影]里
You should do puttin' on the Ritz
《我最阔气》那首歌♥
from Young Frankenstein.
你真这么觉得吗
You really think so?
当然我太后悔没表演那个了
Oh, yes. I so regret not doing that.
肯定会很棒的
Oh, it'll be great.
谢谢约翰你真是时刻为我着想
Thanks, John, you're always looking out for me.
这让我想起伍迪·艾伦
This reminds me of Woody Allen.
什么
What?
你是说电影啊
Cinematically.
是啊
Yes.
我也喜欢这么想他
Yes, that's how I like to think of him too.
就是肩膀一摇二摇
It is the shoulder and the shoulder
然后手腕左甩右甩
and the flick of the wrist.
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
没事好好学就行了
Don't be sorry, just do it better.
其实我有点紧张
You know, I'm kind of nervous.
万一我一个人在台上没人喜欢我的表演呢
What if I'm up there all alone and no one likes it?
你是说你想让我跟你一起表演吗
You're saying you want me to join you onstage?
那我考虑一下
I have to think about it.
我愿意
I'll do it.
其实你的开场白可以这样说
In fact, here's a cue line for you.
你可以说下面怪物出场
You can say, "Let's meet the monster.
他是个花♥花♥公♥子♥
He's a man about town."
但是不要太过因为...
But don't hit it too hard, because remember...
喜剧就像爵士
Comedy is like jazz.
对
Yeah.
你肯定会成为学校里最受欢迎的女孩
You're gonna be the most popular girl in your school.
对了昨天我很抱歉
Sorry about yesterday, by the way,
我没讲完德尔塔·伯克那个故事
when I couldn't finish the Delta Burke story.
我以前从没那样过
I mean, that's never happened to me before.
我二十几岁时无法一晚
You know, when I was in my 20s, I couldn't tell the same story
同一个故事说三四遍所以...
three or four times in one night, so, I mean--
安德烈呢
Hey, where's Andre?
我把他介绍给我一个朋友了那个沙特人
Oh, I introduced him to a friend of mine, Saudi guy.
他们在那边吃午餐
They're having lunch over there.
犹太复国主义者好厉害
Wow, Zionists, huh? Cool.
你把他卖♥♥了吗
Did you sell him?
卢我们不能继续这样了
You know what, Lou, we can't do this anymore.
我们不能坐这里白吃你请的东西
We can't just sit here and eat your food...
然后听你说话
and listen to you talk.
对我们也是人
Yeah, we're people.
如果你想继续请我们吃午餐
If we're gonna keep having these lunches,
那我们也得说话
we got to talk too.
一直都是我在说话吗
Have I been talking all the time?
可能是因为我需要别人的关注
I guess I have this need for attention,
这一切都源于...
you know, it all stems from...
我小时候就失去了父亲
from my childhood when I lost my father,
他跟杰瑞·凡·戴克是好朋友
who was a close friend of Jerry Van Dyke.
对了杰瑞在荷兰发生过一件是
Jerry, by the way, had this Dutch thing.
你又来了
Well, you're doing it again!
对我们也有故事我们也很有趣
Yeah, okay, we have stories too. We are interesting.
好那你们说说你们的故事吧
Well, fine, then why don't you tell your stories?
好昨天我去了中♥央♥公园
Okay, well, yesterday, I went to Central Park,
我到了之后就想这样不行
and I got there, and I was like, "I can't."
不错不错
Not bad, not bad.
挺不错的你呢莫迪福
You know, pretty good. How about you, Motif?
哪个更重
What weighs more,
一磅羽毛还是一磅金子
a pound of feathers or a pound of gold?
你这是个谜语啊其实讲的不错
Well, that's a riddle, but, you know, fine, good attempt.
这样我们气氛多好对吧
See, we're really vibing here, you know?
真棒真不错
This is great, this is great,
并不只是因为这是顿价值五千美金的大餐
and not just because it's a $5,000 seven-course meal,
而是因为我们都说话了
but it's because we're all talking,
我们真正沟通了
connecting in a real way.
对了服务员
In fact, waiter?
这顿饭的费用我们三个人均摊
Can we have our bill split three ways, please?
就跟朋友一样
Like friends.
很多人觉得弗朗西斯·福特·科波拉
Now, a lot of people think of Francis Ford Coppola
是个很厉害的导演
as a wonderful director,
但是50美分[歌♥手]不这样想
but 50 Cent had a different take on it,
这是典型的50...
and, you know, this is very typical 50--
约翰约翰
John? Hey, John.
是我
It's me.
保罗保罗·帕里奇
Paul. Paul Palicki.
天哪我都没认出你