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-埃德会杀了我的 -你好啊 梅梅
- Ed will kill me. - Hey, Maddie.
-瑟莱丝特 -刚才那堂课可真棒啊
- Hey, Celeste. - How amazing was that class?
-大家好啊 -你好
- Hi, guys! - Hi.
内森 练瑜伽啊 想不到呢
Nathan. Yoga, wow.
是啊 邦妮让我喜欢上的
Yeah. Bonnie got me into it.
没错 必须多出汗 把毒素排出来
Yeah, well, you know, gotta sweat out all those toxins.
我们昨晚喝了一瓶红酒
We drank, like, a bottle of wine last night.
今天我就说 我们必须去练瑜伽
And today I was like, "We are going to yoga."
我说服艾比报了一个我的拳击普拉提舞班
You know, I got Abby to sign up for one of my piloxing classes.
那真是 太好了
That's... fantastic.
我会再打个电♥话♥说说请♥愿♥的事的
Oh, I'm gonna call again about that petition thing.
那简直太荒唐了
I mean, it's ridiculous.
你就不用操心这事了
Oh, you don't need to worry about that.
但他们可以直接把我名字撤下来
But they should be able to just take my name off.
-我是说... -没什么能阻挡我们 亲爱的
- I mean... - Nothing's gonna stop us, honey.
可以这么说吧 就是个定时炸♥弹♥
Ticking bomb. I'll leave it at that.
滴答滴答
Tick-tick-tick.
她就不能穿件外衣吗
Could she put a shirt on?
爆♥炸♥
Boom.
我们的第一个课程作业
Our very first project
就是你们每人要做个家谱树
will be for each of you to do a family tree,
你们可以谈谈自己美好的家庭
where you get to talk about your wonderful family.
那很棒吧
Isn't that great?
但是在那之前 我要向你们介绍
But before that, I am going to introduce you
一位非常非常特殊的朋友
to a very, very special friend to our class.
这个...
This...
是小河马哈利
is Harry the Hippo.
哈利作为一年级深受欢迎的一员
Now, Harry here has been a beloved member of the first grade
已经快十年了
for almost 10 years!
我知道你们已经不是幼儿园的学生了
Now, I know you're not in kindergarten anymore,
你们会发现 从幼儿园到一年级的过渡
and you're about to find out that the transition
其实并非总是那么容易
to first grade is not always easy.
但是有了哈利的陪伴 你们就能轻松适应了
But with Harry here, you won't even notice it.
我保证
I promise.
最棒的是
And the best part--
你们都有机会
you will all have your turn
把哈利带回家过夜
to take Harry home for sleepovers.
那今天就从
Now I'm gonna start off our day
传递哈利开始 大家都抱一下吧
by passing Harry around so you can all greet him with a hug.
好吗 给 比利
Okay? Here you go, Billy.
说
Yes.
哈利想被拥抱吗
Does Harry want to be hugged?
当然啦 哈利很喜欢拥抱
Why, yes. Harry loves hugs.
我们面对现实吧
I mean, look, let's face it.
艾玛贝拉从众人中偏偏挑出了齐格
Amabella picked that Ziggy out of a lineup
并且她当时十分确定
and she was unwavering.
我就这么说吧 那孩子很不正常
The kid was off. I'll leave it at that.
你的航♥班♥不是五点吗
I thought your flight was at 5:00.
可能会堵车
Well, traffic might be bad.
现在才十一点半
It's 11:30.
谢谢你告知我
Thank you. Good to know.
你没开玩笑吧
Are you serious?
我改了航♥班♥ 就为了第一天上学时能陪着孩子们
I changed my flight so I could be here on their first day of school.
结果却是 我都进不了学校
And then I don't even get to go in the building.
我理解 只是...
I understand, but I just--
而且你还不允许我对此生气了
And for you to just dismiss my being upset about it?
我没有不允许任何事
I didn't dismiss anything.
-我只是不想被怪罪... -你知道我怎么想的吗
- I just don't want to be blamed-- - Yeah, you know what I think?
你不想让我去参加学校的迎新日
You didn't want me to be there for orientation.
-什么 -你决定独享那一刻
- What? - You decided to have that moment all to yourself.
母子时刻
Mommy and her boys.
你真像个幼稚的孩子
You're such a child.
对不起
I'm sorry.
对不起 对不起
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-别 不用 -对不起
- Don't. No. - I'm sorry.
对不起 对不起 亲爱的
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, honey.
该死的 好了
Fuck. Hey, hey...
对不起
Sorry.
只是因为...该死的
It's just-- fuck.
对不起
I'm sorry.
只是 我经常在外出差
You know, all-- it's just all this traveling--
我感觉我错过了太多东西
I feel like I'm missing out on so much.
他们有天突然就长大了 而我...
They'll be grown one day, and I just...
对不起 对不起
Sorry. Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry.
我爱你
I love you.
不 别这样
No, no, no, no.
就是这样
There you go.
放开我
Let me go.
天啊
Oh, God!
佩里和瑟莱丝特
Perry and Celeste?
说真的
Honestly...
我愿意跟其中任何一个上♥床♥
I'd sleep with either.
打给《华尔街日报》
Call "The Wall Street Journal"
告诉他们 我们立刻和这些人达成协议
and tell them we make a deal now with these guys,
否则永远不会有人支持他们
or they're never gonna have anybody by them.
不 这太荒唐了
No, this is ridiculous!
朱丽叶
Juliette?
因为我女儿需要人接
Because my daughter's got to get picked up.
抱歉 我有点分心...是的
Sorry, I'm distra-- yes.
你得赶紧开车
You need to get in the car right now
去接...稍等下
and pick up-- hold on one second.
你不是说你要去接她吗
I thought you were picking her up.
不行 我在做采访呢
No, I'm doing an interview here!
事实证明 做兼♥职♥
Turns out it's actually harder
比作全职更难
to have a part-time job versus a full-time job
因为除了要做这些工作
because in addition to doing all that work,
你还要在外面另找一份工作
you're out there scouring for another job.
你在找另外一份工作吗
Are you looking for another job?
我一周最多只工作20小时
I only do 20 hours a week max.
别告诉别人 我其实想维持全职妈妈的状态
Between you and I, I try to maintain my full-time-mommy status
那样我就能在蕾娜塔
so I can lord it over women
和其他事业型母亲面前摆摆高姿态了
like Renata and the other career mommies.
他们出来了 未来的世界领袖
Oh, there they are! Our future world leaders!
-看到我家孩子了吗 -看到了
- Do you see mine? - Yeah.
克洛伊
Chloe!
夫人 拜托
Ma'am, please?
我不能来接我女儿吗
What, I can't call for my own daughter?
请你重新坐回到车上去 夫人
Please reboard the vehicle, ma'am.
-你在惹麻烦吗 "大姐" -上车吧你
- You causing trouble, woman? - Get in the car.
别再对我吹口哨了
And don't ever blow your whistle at me again.
你是新来的 我可不是
You're new here. I'm not.
-妈妈 -宝贝
- Mommy! - Hi, baby!
第一天过得怎么样啊
So, how was your first day?
还不错 我们认识了小河马哈利
Fine. We got to meet Harry the Hippo.
齐格呢
And, Zig?
-挺好的 -是吗
- Good. - Yeah?
-老师人不错 -真的吗
- Teacher's nice. - She is?
那真是好极了
Oh, that's amazing.
那很好啊
That's so great.
那是什么
What's that?
艾玛贝拉要举办个派对 那很好啊
Oh, Amabella's having a party. That's sweet.
我没被邀请
I didn't get invited.
宝贝 你跟她又不熟 可以说完全是陌生人
Honey, you don't know her very well. You don't know her at all.
-完全是因为那个破指控 -没事
- This is about that stupid accusation. - It's fine.
只有他没被邀请吗
Was he the only one?
好了 来听听什么歌♥呢
Okay, what are we listening to?
梅德琳总是会摊上各种麻烦
Feces is never terribly far from Madeline's fan.
那个派对 制♥造♥了一个巨大的漩涡
And the whole party thing created a vortex.
简直太过分了
Outrageous is what it is.
整个班级的同学 除了齐格都被邀请了
For the whole class to be invited with the exception of Ziggy?
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