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- Realy? You have a policy? - Yes.
这真是好消息啊
Well, isn't that great news?
你就按校规办事吧 我要找律师
Why don't you follow your policy or I'm getting an attorney.
我们还没到那一步 克莱恩夫人
Okay, we're not there yet, Mrs. Klein.
-我觉得有必要 -天 请律师吗
- I'm there. - God, attorneys?
-不是吧 至于吗 -谢谢
- Really? Is that necessary? - Thank you.
其实 我的毕业论文中
Actually, in my graduate thesis
我创造了一个词 "直升机父母"I coined the term "Helicopter parent."
但这些家长...
But these gems, they're--
根本就是"敢死队飞机父母"
they're fucking kamikazes.
我不是说笑
And I'm not kidding.
谁都不肯承担后果
No one takes responsibility for anything.
克洛伊也有份参与
And Chloe's involved.
更别提他们的健康和幸福
Not to mention their health and well-being.
我六岁时
I mean, if I had a dime for every boy
试图亲过的男生简直...
that I tried to kiss when I was six years old...
多到数不胜数了
I mean, I can't even tell you. There were so many.
天呐 就是孩子闹着玩
They're children, for Christ's sakes.
他们这个年纪亲吻很正常啦
They're supposed to be doing things like kissing each other.
简
Jane?
怎么了 亲爱的
What's wrong, honey?
你没事吧
You okay?
抱歉 我就是...
I'm sorry, I just...
亲爱的 没事
Honey. It's okay.
他们只是孩子
They're just kids.
这首歌♥就是和解的催化剂 是不是吧
How can you not wanna make up on this song? Come on.
是和解 不是亲热 小傻瓜
Make up, yes, not make out, silly.
你们大人吵架时 就会这么做啊
It's what you guys do when you get mad at each other.
抱抱 接吻 上♥床♥ 一切和好如初
Big hug, kiss, bang, and everything's better again.
但结婚的人当然不同了
But it's different with married people.
-为什么 -不知道
- Why? - I don't know.
就是如此 别跟我争论了
It just is. Don't start with me.
这首歌♥太暖心了 宝贝
This is a beautiful song, honey.
亲爱的
Hi, baby.
-小美人 -你们那边不是半夜吗
- Hey, Sparkles. - I thought it was, like, midnight there.
是啊 我睡不着
Yeah, I can't sleep.
时差
Jet lag.
也是
Right.
那是我给你买♥♥的浴袍吗
Is that the bathrobe I bought you?
是啊
It is.
谢谢你送的花 很漂亮
Thank you for the flowers. They're beautiful.
我想你
I miss you.
我也想你
Yeah. I miss you, too.
儿子们也想你
And the boys miss you.
第二天学校生活怎么样
So, how was their second day?
挺好的
It was fine.
你能帮我个忙吗
Hey, will you do me a favor?
-什么 -脱下那监漂亮的浴袍
- What? - Take that beautiful robe off for a second.
儿子们还在楼上等我呢
The boys are waiting for me downstairs.
我得想办法让自己睡觉啊
Yeah, well, I have to help myself go to sleep.
你得帮我睡觉
You need to help me help myself.
是吗
Do I, now?
让我看一下我美丽的妻子吧
Let me just look at my gorgeous wife for a second.
十秒钟
Ten seconds.
五秒钟吧
I'll give you five.
脱得销魂些
Make it a nice five.
就这样了 坏小子
Okay, that's enough, naughty boy.
如果还想要 就得早点回家噢
You'll have to come home sooner if you want more.
靠近点
Come closer.
我爱你
I love you.
如果你那么担心 就别让她上学了
Take her out of school if you're that concerned.
凭什么让她走
She's the one that has to leave?
她又没做错什么
She didn't do anything.
我就是觉得不该采取法律措施
I just don't think legal action is the answer, all right?
就这么过去吧
Let's see how it goes.
我想最后风波都会过去
I'm guessing it'll all sort itself out.
我感觉你不帮着我
I do not feel supported here.
好吧
Well...
我没办法跟你的感觉讲理
I don't suppose I could argue with your feelings.
齐格 你怎么没睡
Ziggy, why are you awake?
你该睡觉了
You're supposed to be asleep.
怎么了
What's going on?
我看见你今天在学校哭了
I saw you crying at school today.
只是有些心力交瘁
I was just stressed out.
我很抱歉让你看到了
I'm sorry you had to see that.
妈妈来接孩子放学时 我听见有人说
At pick-up I heard one of the mothers say
我是禽兽
I was a little monster.
什么
What?
宝贝 你不是禽兽
Baby, you're not a monster.
你不是禽兽
You are not a monster.
齐格 你没毛病
Ziggy there's nothing wrong with you.
懂吗
Okay?
我特别爱你
I love you so much.
腌黄瓜 芥末
Pickles and mustard.
我没怀孕
I'm not pregnant.
如果哪天真发生了
You know, if that day ever comes,
你之前提起的事...
the one you alluded to earlier...
我决定跟人上♥床♥的那天吗
The day I decide to have sex? That day?
对 那一天
Yes, that one.
我们能先谈谈吗
Can we talk about it first?
好
Sure.
因为我真觉得我能帮上忙
'Cause I actually think I could be helpful.
好
Okay.
我有很多闺蜜 你知道的
I have a lot of girlfriends, as you know,
没有一个人跟我说过
and never has any one of them ever said to me,
"天呐 我要是早点上♥床♥就好了"
"Gee, if only I had had sex sooner in life."
现在就尴尬了
This is awkward now.
好吧
Right.
内森说你威胁要揍他
So, Nathan said that you threatened to beat him up.
当然不是了
Of course not.
他想让我劝你多为邦妮考虑一下
He wanted me to get you to back off Bonnie a little bit,
我们就谈了一下
it led to a discussion, and...
我没威胁要揍她
I never threatened to beat him up.
我确实让他知道了 他吓不到我
I did let him know I wouldn't be intimidated by him,
我觉得他是想吓唬我
which I think was his intent.
你们最后怎么解决的
So, how did you two leave it?
我们...
We left it...
他帮邦妮 我站在你这边呗
he's got Bonnie's back and I've got yours.
我老公真爷们
My He-Man.
别闹了
Oh, come on.
我能说一件事吗
Can I just say one thing?
你一说就停不下来
You never leave it at one thing.
你就是我的真命天子
You're the one, okay?
我生命中唯一的男人
You're my only one.
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