雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S02E05

Part 1 July 20, 2020, 3:02 p.m.

雷蒙斯尼奇的不幸历险第二季第五集
改编自雷蒙·斯尼奇原著
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
快别看了
Look away
真心别看了
This show will wreck your evening,
看了这剧晚上睡不着
your whole life and your day
白天闷得慌人生都绝望
Every single episode
每一集
is nothing but dismay
都只会让你心塞
So look away
所以别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
The town of VFD
VFD这座小镇
Is full of people full of rules
有着一群镇民和一堆规矩
The Quagmires have once again
奎格梅尔兄妹再一次
Been kidnapped for their jewels
因为蓝宝石而遭人绑♥架♥
The Baudelaires must rescue them
小波德莱尔们想营救他们
But end up getting jailed
却自己身陷囫囵
You might hope that things improve
你可能希望事情出现好转
But I'm afraid that ship has sailed
但那恐怕是没机会了
Just look a way
快别看了
Look away
别看了
There's nothing but horror
等待你的只有
and inconvenience on the way
恐怖和麻烦
Ask any stable person
去随便问个正常的人
should I watch
"这剧该看吗"
and they'll say
他们都会告诉你
look away
"赶紧别看了"
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
Look away
别看了
恶劣村庄
上
献给碧翠丝
我们在一起时我仿佛停止了呼吸
如今你真的停止了呼吸
要转弯了
开过了
VFD饲料
加油站
要一整个村子
捷径
是乌鸦
兴奋吗
谁
但是
奥拉夫
乔治娜
约瑟芬
豆薯
太好了
该死
璐璐夫人无所不晓
如果把波德莱尔孤儿们的故事比作一段车程
If the story of the Baudelaire orphans was a car trip,
那么它是不愉快
it would be unpleasant,
不舒服而且相当漫长的
uncomfortable, and interminably long.
波德莱尔们这段车程♥真♥是相当漫长
I must say Baudelaires, this car trip has been interminably long.
谁能想到远郊会这么远
Who knew the Hinterlands were so far away?
所以才叫远郊啊
That's why they're called Hinterlands.
没人喜欢后座司机克劳斯
Nobody likes a backseat driver, Klaus.
到了要转弯的地方一定告诉我
Be sure and tell me when that turn is coming up.
我叫雷蒙·斯尼奇
My name is Lemony Snicket,
我要负担悲伤的使命
and I have the sad undertaking
记录波德莱尔孤儿们的生活
of chronicling the lives of the Baudelaire orphans,
他们漫长的车程很快将在这里结束
whose long car trip will soon end here,
这座算不上风景如画的小村庄VFD
in the barely picturesque village of VFD.
很快他们就会在村里漏风而漂亮的
Before long, they'll find themselves bewildered and bedeviled
村政厅里感到困惑又苦恼
in the town's attractive if drafty town hall.
在这座显眼
Desperate and despondent
而难看的地标飞禽喷泉旁
near this prominent but off-putting landmark
感到心焦而沮丧
known as Fowl Fountain.
小波德莱尔们注定要来到这里
It is the Baudelaires' destiny to arrive here.
但你却可以去别处
But you could be someplace else.
很快你绝对会希望你去了别处
And within moments, you'll most certainly wish that you were.
"要一整个村子才能养好一个孩子"
"It takes a village to raise a child."
多么动人的格言啊
What a lovely, lovely aphorism.
格言是一句听上去高深
An aphorism is a phrase that can sound mysterious,
但非常睿智的话
but, in fact, is very wise.
我们知道格言什么意思
We know what aphorism means.
那或许你们会知道这句的意思是
Well, then perhaps you'll know this one means
养育年轻人的责任
that the responsibility of raising young people
是要由一个社区的每个成员共同承担的
belongs to every member of a community.
等你们到了VFD村
And that's exactly what's going to happen to you
就会是这样
in the village of VFD.
这次不再是只有一个监护人
Instead of having just one guardian,
那人可能会被杀
who could be murdered
或是跟一个狡猾坏蛋串通一气
or end up in cahoots with a scheming villain,
而是有数百人一起照顾你们
you'll have hundreds of people caring for you all at once.
这样还能出错吗
What could go wrong?
一切都已经出错了我们两次失去了朋友
Everything's already gone wrong. We've lost our friends twice.
是啊
Yes, well...
你们看看这份宣传册吧上面还有照片
Would you look at this brochure? It has pictures.
一整座村子会负责照顾我们
An entire village will be in charge of us?
好多的人啊
That's a lot of people.
我想他们会抽签
I imagine they'll draw lots
悬疑惊悚小说家
就像那本有趣的雪莉·杰克逊的书里似的
like in that wonderful Shirley Jackson story.
我一般是更喜欢比较传统的家庭结构
Normally, I prefer a more traditional family structure,
但因为不明原因不论是单个的监护人
but for some unknown reason, neither the individual guardian
还是教育机构都没能跟你们磨合得来
or the academic institution is working for you.
原因才没有"不明" 原因是奥拉夫伯爵
The reason isn't unknown. The reason is Count Olaf.
他总是跟着我们他绑♥架♥了奎格梅尔兄妹
He follows us everywhere. He kidnapped the Quagmires.
-那俩可怜的双胞胎 -是三胞胎
- Those poor twins. - Triplets.
不他们是双胞胎维奥蕾特
No they're twins, Violet.
他们弟弟的死改变了他们出生时的身份
The death of their brother changes their birth identity.
-才没有 -这无所谓的
- No, it doesn't. - It hardly matters.
由于我妻子的报纸一直在持续报道
Thanks to the constant coverage in my wife's newspaper,
我相信奥玛伯爵很快就会被抓住了
I'm sure Count Omar will be captured in no time at all.
-是奥拉夫 -嗯我想说奥玛的
- Olaf. - Yes, I meant to say Omar.
而且我看那个恶劣的男人是不可能
Besides, I doubt that vile man will be able to find you
远到远郊找到你们
way out here in the Hinterlands.
那得要相当漫长的一段时间呢
It would take an interminably long time.
我们已经跟踪波德莱尔们
We've followed those Baudelaires
相当漫长的一段时间了
for an interminably long time.
这多棒啊
Isn't it marvelous?
没什么比得上开逃跑车出行了
There's nothing like a trip in a getaway car.
而我需要离开那个肮脏的城市
I needed a getaway from that dirty, grimy city
还有那里所有想抓我的人
and all the people that were after me there.
老实说这顶帽子怎么样
Be honest. What do you think of my hat?
我觉得你很美
I think you look beautiful.
真希望我有你那样的皮肤
I wish I had skin like yours.
-真希望我有你的皮肤 -你挺美的
- I wish I was wearing your skin. - You look nice.
现在别看但有人在跟踪我们
Don't look now, but someone's following us.
我叫你们别看的算了
I said don't look. Never mind.
不是狗仔队或是媒体吗
Oh, no. Is it the paparazzi or the press?
是我丈夫吗他的律师一直在打电♥话♥
Or my husband? His lawyers have been calling.
是出租车老大大概离我们一英里远
It's a taxi, boss. About a mile back.
他已经跟了我们相当漫长的一段时间了
He's been behind us for an interminably long time.
你之前就没想到应该提一下
You didn't think to mention untill now
有人在跟踪我们吗
that someone is following us?
-我想给你个惊喜吗 -是警♥察♥吗
- I wanted it to be a surprise? - Is it the police?
警♥察♥干吗要开出租车
Why would the police take a taxi?
不管是谁似乎没开到限速以上
Whoever it is, they seem to be obeying the speed limit.
我只知道一个出租车司机
There's only one taxi driver I know
会在乎遵纪守法
who cares about obeying the law.
这里有条捷径
There's a shortcut up here someplace.
看看斯尼奇会不会跟上我们