雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S02E09

Part 3 July 20, 2020, 3:03 p.m.

你将在早上得到答案
You will have your answer in morning.
早上
The morning?
水晶球就是这样运作的
Yes. Is how crystal ball works.
早班晚班就像罐头工厂
Day shift, night shift, like a cannery.
那我们今晚做什么
What do we suppose to do tonight?
我们干杯庆祝将得到所有问题的答案
We toast. To getting answers to all of our questions.
以一个合理的团体价
At a reasonable group rate.
打开后备箱的酒
Break out the trunk wine!
我该怎么办
What should I do?
我该给她打电♥话♥吗
Should I call her?
但要是继父接的怎么办
What if my stepdad picks up?
不知道他是否还在生我气
I wonder if he's still mad at me.
不可思议璐璐夫人知道我们的一切
It's uncanny. Madame Lulu knows everything about us.
但肯定不是水晶球告诉她的
But I bet it's not from that crystal ball.
占卜可能是假的
Fortune-telling may not be real,
但她总是从哪里获知了这些信息
but she got her information from somewhere.
她可能知道我们父母是否幸存了一个
She may know if one of our parents survived.
我们等不到早上了珊妮
We can't wait until morning, Sunny.
奥拉夫伯爵随时可能发现我们
Count Olaf could spot us any second.
而且这附近有群饥饿的狮子
Plus, there's a pack of hungry lions around here somewhere.
嘉年华在为怪胎屋招人
The carnival is hiring for its House of Freaks.
如果我们有工作就能留下打探
If we got jobs, we'd be able to stay and find out
璐璐夫人知道什么以及怎么知道的
what Madame Lulu knows and how she knows it.
我们完全不像嘉年华怪胎
We don't look anything like carnival freaks.
我有个主意
I have an idea.
我看到了面部颜料
I see face paint.
我们穿着太大的衣服
Clothing that's too big for us.
我以为到现在
I thought by now
我肯定已得到了应有尽有的后备箱酒
I'd have all the trunk wine I wanted.
妈妈曾跟我说我会成为明星
You know, Mama told me I'd be a star.
你从没提起过你母亲
You never talk about your mother.
她不是我母亲
She wasn't my mother.
妈妈是那艘船屋主人的名字
That's just the name of the woman who owned the houseboat.
我们都觉得我28岁时
We agreed that by age 28,
会住在由成功搭建的城♥堡♥里
I would live in a castle made of success,
读着剧评里对我的盛赞
just reading my own glowing theatrical reviews
躺在铺满钱的床上
in a bed full of money.
幸福快乐
You know, happy.
真是迷人的故事我的奥拉夫
This is fascinating story, my Olaf.
你的奥拉夫
Your Olaf?
但该睡觉了拜托
But is bedtime, please.
水晶球需要好好休息
Crystal ball needs rest
早上才能给你神奇的通灵答案
before giving you big magic spirit answer in the morning.
那个超大的神秘衣橱里是什么
What's in that big, mysterious armoire?
别靠近卡利加里衣橱拜托
Stay away from Caligari Cabinet, please.
你听见什么了吗
Did you hear something?
都这个点了会是谁呢
Who could that be at this hour?
可能只是群饥饿的狮子
Is probably pack of starving lions.
出来呀出来不管你是谁
Come out, come out, whatever you are.
是你们...
You...
你们是谁拜托
Who, please, are you?
我们是仨两个怪胎
We're three... Two freaks.
我们看到了你的广♥告♥ 我们在找工作
We saw your ad. And we're looking for work.
你长了两个头确实丑极了
You certainly are hideous with those two heads.
太晚了不面试了明早再来
Too late for job interview. Come back in the morning.
胡说面试是我的专长之一
Nonsense! Auditioning is one of my specialties.
璐璐让我来戏耍不对折磨
Lulu, let me tease... No, torment...
为你的嘉年华节目面试这些怪胎
Interview these freaks for your carnival show.
这边来
This way.
除了一天之内数次被纸张划破手
Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day,
和得知你最大的敌人
receiving the news that your worst enemy
得到了免费冰淇凌的奖励外
has been awarded free ice cream,
人生中最不愉快的经历之一
one of the most unpleasant experiences in life
就是工作面试
is a job interview.
-你刚才说你们叫什么 -我们还没说
- What did you say your names were? - Uh, we didn't.
从你在面试中自我介绍开始
From the moment you introduce yourself in a job interview...
我叫贝弗丽这是我的另一颗头艾略特
I'm Beverly. This is my other head, Elliot.
你便加入了一种仪式
You're participating in a ritual
你很可能会觉得它凶险丢人
you are likely to find humiliating and sinister.
长着两颗头生活一定很艰难
Must be difficult, having two heads.
非常艰难
It's very difficult.
你无法想象找到合适的衣服有多难
You can't imagine how hard it is to find clothes.
我注意到了你的衬衫
I was just noticed your shirt.
我有一件很像的但显然没这么脏
I've got one just like it, not as dirty obviously.
我那件很时髦
It's very in.
我们虽是怪胎
Just because we are freaks
但不代表我们不在乎时尚
doesn't mean we don't care about fashion.
吃饭呢吃饭上有困难吗
What about eating? Do you have trouble eating?
是啊
Yeah.
你可能被要求做一些无用的事
You may be asked to perform some meaningless task
而你毫无拒绝的余地
which you're in no position to refuse.
-我... -让我们看看你们吃得多困难吧
- Well, I... - Let's see just how much trouble you have.
给吃下这穗玉米
Here, eat this ear of corn,
你个双头怪胎
you two-headed freak.
你在完成这件事时
You are likely to be watched carefully
很可能会被仔细审视
while you perform this task,
你很可能要装作比你实际上
and you will likely pretend to be far more enthusiastic
热忱得多
than you actually are.
-看看他们 -连一穗玉米都吃不了
- Look at them! - They can't even eat an ear of corn!
多么怪胎呀
How freakish!
你还很可能被人评估
And you are likely to be evaluated,
在这里的意思是被一次次地测试
a word which here means tested over and over again
别无缘由只为让你难堪
for no reason other than your own embarrassment.
把玉米从桌上捡起来怪胎
Pick the corn up off the table, freak.
工作面试最糟糕的一点是
The worst thing about a job interview is that
它很容易让你满心绝望
it is likely to fill you with despair,
不论你是马上被打发走
whether you are dismissed immediately
无业地在荒芜之地
and find yourself wandering unemployed
到处游荡哭泣哀嚎
across a desolate landscape, weeping and moaning,
还是你被雇用了
or whether you are hired,
然后在同一片荒芜之地游荡
and find yourself wandering across that same desolate landscape,
哭泣哀嚎就为了得到一份工资
weeping and moaning in exchange for a salary.
这是我见过的最好笑的工作面试了
That is the funniest job interview I have ever seen!
你必须马上聘用这些怪胎璐璐
You must hire these freaks at once, Lulu.
观众喜欢看邋遢的吃相相信我我懂
Audiences love sloppy eating. Trust me, I know.
那是什么
What is that?
是个凶残的婴儿
some sort of feral infant.
那是狼孩查博
That is Chabo the Wolf Baby.
她妈妈是一个猎人爱上了一头英俊的狼
Her mother was a hunter who fell in love with a handsome wolf.
这是他们的孩子
And that's their child.
我都不知道人狼能生子
I didn't even know that was possible.
看她吃玉米可能也很好笑
It might be funny to watch her eat corn, too.
给你查博
Here, Chabo, Chabo, Chabo!
她有些野
She's a little wild.
人们总是喜欢暴♥力♥
People are always liking of the violence.
好的查博也被雇用了
Yes, Chabo is hired, too.
从明天的节目开始
Starting at show tomorrow,
贝弗丽和艾略特要表演吃玉米
Beverly and Elliot will be eating corn
狼崽怪胎可以攻击观众
and little wolf freak will be attacking audience.
有问题问璐璐夫人吗
You have questions for Madame Lulu?
他们当然没有问题
Of course they don't have any questions.
他们有工作就够幸运了
They're lucky to have work.
如果没有嘉年华
Without this carnival,
他们只能跟其他怪胎一起在
they would be just working in human resources
人力资源部工作
with the rest of the freaks.
你真是又英俊又正确我的奥拉夫
You are as right as you are handsome, my Olaf.
-英俊 -商业术语而已拜托
- Handsome? - Is business term, please.
小狼两头怪你们去怪胎屋报到
Wolfie, two-headed thing, you report to House of Freaks,
我们会提供职工住宿
where work accommodations will be provided.
还有医疗保险
Also health insurance,