雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S02E09

Part 4 July 20, 2020, 3:03 p.m.

不过附近的医院怎么说的来着...
although nearby hospital is how you say...
-被烧毁了 -不在覆盖范围内
- Burned down. - Out of network.
你们走吧
Off you go.
除非你们还饿还有很多玉米哦
Unless you're still hungry. There's plenty of corn.
我们会像普通人一样吃玉米
We're gonna eat them like normal people,
你们怪胎和我们不一样
but you freaks just aren't like us.
不一样不一样
Not like us! Not like us!
不一样不一样
Not like us! Not like us!
-不一样 -和我们一样一样
- Not like us! Not like us! - One of us! One of us!
和我们一样一样一样
One of us! One of us! One of us!
你不用喊雨果我们都看得到
You don't have to shout, Hugo. We can all see them.
我太兴奋了
I'm just excited.
怪胎屋并不是每天都有新同事
It's not every day we get new colleagues at House of Freaks.
我们刚来了个新璐璐夫人
We just got a new Madame Lulu.
你俩安静
Quiet, both of you.
你们打扰我冥想练习了
You're disrupting my meditation exercise.
我在幻想一个世界
I was visualizing a world
在那里我没有任何问题
where there was nothing wrong with me at all.
不像在这里我是个丑陋的怪胎
Unlike this world, where I'm a hideous freak.
-吃爆米花吗 -我们不喜欢吃玉米了
- Popcorn? - We don't like corn anymore.
我不奇怪你们没什么胃口
I'm not surprised you don't have an appetite.
你们快跟我一样惨了
You have it almost as bad as I do.
没事我已经习惯被人盯着看了
It's ok. I'm used to people staring.
因为你五官长得非常好看吗
Because of your extremely pleasant facial features?
还有你对称的下巴吗
And your symmetrical jawline?
你们假装没发现真的很善良
It's nice you pretend not to notice.
爆米花
The popcorn?
我正用一样强壮的双手拿着它们
I'm holding it in two equally strong hands.
说吧
Go ahead. Say it.
"看看凯文那个双撇子的怪胎"
"Look at Kevin, the ambidextrous freak."
双撇子
Ambidextrous?
那不就是同时是左撇子和右撇子吗
Isn't that both right- and left-handed?
你们是听说过我
You have heard of me.
你们一路跑到远郊就是为了这个吗
Is that why you traveled all the way out to the Hinterlands?
就为了盯着看这个
So you can stare at someone
左右手都能写出自己名字的人
who can write his name with either his left or his right hand?
我只是正巧知道双撇子是什么意思
I just know what ambidextrous means.
我就觉得你们聪明
I had a feeling you'd be smart.
毕竟你们有别人两倍的大脑
After all you have twice as many brains as most people.
这比当驼背好多了
It's so better than being a hunchback.
你们的头和手虽然怪
Your heads and hands might be freaky,
但起码你们都有很正常的肩膀
but at least you all have absolutely normal shoulders.
有正常的肩膀又能怎样
Yeah, well, what good are normal shoulders
毕竟连着
when they're attached to hands
刀叉用得一样好的一双手
that are equally good at using a knife and a fork?
凯文我知道像你这么怪胎是很郁闷
Oh, Kevin, I know it's depressing to be so freakish,
但你起码比我强呀
but at least you're better off than I am.
我叫科莱特
My name is Colette.
如果你们打算笑我我希望你们尽快笑完
And if you're going to laugh, I'd prefer you get it over with.
我不会怪你们嘲笑一个柔术演员的
I don't blame you for laughing at a contortionist.
-柔术演员 -我可以弯曲我的身体
- Contortionist? - I can bend my body
做各种不寻常的姿势
into all sorts of unusual positions.
看吧我是个超级怪胎
You see? I'm a complete freak.
我觉得这很棒
I think that's amazing.
珊妮也这么想我是说查博
And so does Sunny. I mean Chabo.
你们真礼貌
That's polite of you to say.
但我为我是柔术演员而羞愧
But I'm ashamed to be a contortionist.
如果你羞愧你为什么不正常扭动身体
If you are shamed why don't you move your body normally
而不是老做柔术
instead of doing contortions?
因为我在怪胎屋里
Because I'm in the House of Freaks.
没人愿意花钱看我正常扭动身体
Nobody would pay to see me move my body normally.
这是个两难困境在明天的节目上
It's quite a dilemma. At tomorrow's show,
观众们会等着看
crowds will be waiting
科莱特把身体扭曲到奇怪的姿势
for Colette to twist her body into strange positions,
看凯文用两只手写自己的名字
for Kevin to write his name with both hands,
看我穿上一件这些外套
and for me to try on one of these coats.
你们不用做这些
Well, you don't have to do that.
你们谁都不必做这些
And none of you have to do any of that.
你听着像之前的璐璐夫人
You sound like the old Madame Lulu.
她总是鼓励我们去申请社区大学
She was always encouraging us to apply to community college.
她甚至提出为我们付学费
She even offered to pay our tuition.
但我们知道世人永远只会视我们为怪胎
But we know the world would only see us as freaks.
我们还能做什么别的工作呀
What other jobs could we have?
我该继续去为小卖♥♥部做爆米花了
I better get back to pop this popcorn for the concession stand.
我要把这些烟斗通条绕成手指玩偶
I need to twist these pipe cleaners into finger puppets
在礼品车里卖♥♥
to sell in the gift caravan.
我最好继续去监督嘉年华营销
And I'd better get back to overseeing carnival marketing
和品牌管理了
and brand management.
如果你俩不介意打下手
If you two don't mind pitching in,
你们可以去那堆衣服里捡捡亮片
you could pick sequins out of that pile of laundry.
它们弄得到处都是
They get everywhere.
外面的世界好艰难
Oh, it's a tough world out there.
我们怪胎们必须团结一心
We freaks have to stick together.
没人应该被嘲笑不论台上台下
Nobody deserves to be ridiculed, on stage or off.
我感觉好糟我们还得对他们说谎
I feel bad that we have to lie to them.
这是从璐璐夫人那里得到答案的唯一方法
It's the only way to get answers from Madame Lulu.
如果她可信的话
If we can trust her.
你有没有发现她有些奇怪
Did you notice something strange about her?
她哪里都奇怪
Everything is strange about her.
我觉得我们以前见过她
I feel like we've seen her before.
晚安我的奥拉夫
Good night, my Olaf!
是我的奥拉夫
My Olaf.
无所谓了睡得愉快
Does not matter. Have wonderful sleepings,
明早你就会得到你那个
and in the morning you'll have big important answer
大问题的重要答案
to your big important question.
晚安
Good night.
-我没事我能走 -你走不了
- I'm fine. I can walk. - You can't.
-看 -亲爱的你走不了
- Look. Look. - Darling, you can't walk.
是我
It's me.
是我我们有麻烦了
It's me. We have a complication.
不
No.
不不
No. Oh, no.
比那个还要糟糕
It's way worse than that.
你对火灾幸存者有什么了解
What do you know about the survivor of the fire?
我不相信那个璐璐夫人
I don't trust that Madame Lulu.
她是一个在远郊经营嘉年华的巫婆
She's a witchy woman who lives in the Hinterlands and runs a carnival.
-有什么不可信的 -她的口音像假的
- What's not to trust? - Her accent sounds fake.
你的口音像是假的
Your accent sounds fake.
如果她真的擅长占卜
If she's so good at fortune-telling,
她为什么要住在远郊
why does she live out here in the Hinterlands
而不是在城里办自己的电视节目
instead of having her own television show in the city?
我演了九年电视看看我现在啥样
I tried that for nine years. Look where it got me.
-我不喜欢她看你的样子 -亲爱的
- I don't like how she looks at you. - Darling.
我在舞台上时
When I was on stage,
或是偶尔在低戒备监狱时
or occasionally in several minimum security penitentiaries,
常有奇怪的女人给我各种东西
strange women would offer me things all the time.
鲜花高雅的照片求婚
Flowers, tasteful photographs, marriage proposals.
其中一些女人还很富有
Some of them were wealthy women.
富有的遗孀被我不羁的气质迷住
Rich dowagers enchanted by my roguish charm
她们对财产管理一窍不通
with no head for estate planning whatsoever.
我接受了吗
And did I accept?
重点不是这个
That's not the point.
重点是你也看到了那个占卜师的本领
The point is you saw what that fortune-teller can do.
她能告诉我们我们想知道的一切
She can tell us everything we need to know.
我们需要做的不过是奉承她
And all we have to do is butter her up.
就像...给玉米涂黄油
You know... Like an ear of corn.
所以我们停留几天让剧团工作
So we'll stay a few days. We'll put the troupe to work.
然后等她被奉承上了天...
And then, when she's buttered...
喷一下喷两下
One squirt or two?
我跟你一起去
I'm coming with you.