雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S02E03

Part 3 July 20, 2020, 3:02 p.m.

Better.
黑暗不时髦光明时髦了
Dark is out, light is in.
我们得趁别人看到之前
We've got to run around turning on lamps
赶紧把灯都打开把窗帘都拉开
opening the curtains before anyone sees us.
-是 -杰罗姆打开西翼的所有灯
- Yes. - Jerome. Flip the light switches in the west wing.
波德莱尔们去打开客厅的窗帘
Baudelaires, open the curtains in the living room.
我去慌张地跑圈
I'll run around in panicky circles.
我觉得斯瓜勒夫妇
Something tells me that the Squalors
不会像我们需要的那么有帮助
won't be as helpful as we need them to be.
同时奥拉夫伯爵可能已经越逃越远了
Meanwhile, Count Olaf could be getting further and further away.
这是不是像个噩梦梦魇
Does this seem like a nightmare? A bad dream?
因为我就想要这个效果
Because that's the effect I was going for.
我也会做噩梦孤儿们
Well, I have nightmares, too, orphans.
我会半夜尖叫着醒来
I wake up in the middle of the night screaming,
唯一能抚慰我的事
and the only thing that comforts me
就是想到你们三个
is knowing that the three of you
很快也会发出尖叫
will soon be screaming yourselves.
就像恰好落入我手中的
Just like another set of wealthy orphans
另一对孤儿
that have happened to be in my clutches.
-邓肯和伊莎朵拉 -他们在哪里
- Duncan and Isadora. - Where are they?
你是说你们不知道吗
You mean you don't know?
我以为人人都能闻到近在咫尺的
I thought everybody could smell wealthy orphans
有钱孤儿的气味
when they were in arm's reach.
别担心
Well, not to worry.
很快你们这些孤儿都会落入我手中
Soon all of you orphans will be in my clutches.
奎格梅尔们在一只手中
Quagmires in one clutch,
而你们波德莱尔们则在另一只手中
and you, Baudelaires, in the other.
这烦人的全城搜寻也许能"预知"我
This pesky citywide manhunt may have foreshadowed me
带他们远走高飞但这种情形不会持续太久
from taking them far away, but not for long.
你是想说"耽搁"了你但我们会阻止你
You mean "forestalled." But we're gonna stop you.
-斯瓜勒先生和太太 -奥拉夫伯爵在这里
- Mr. And Mrs. Squalor! - Count Olaf is here!
-什么 -不可能
- What? - It can't be!
我没听错吧
Did I hear you right?
他怎么可能通过门童
How did he get past the doorperson?
他怎么躲过全城搜寻的
How did he slip by the citywide manhunt?
-他在哪里 -他就在这里
- Where is he? - He's right here!
没错拜托这几个乡巴佬说得没错
It is true, please, what the babushka is saying.
-什么 -奥拉夫伯爵拜托就在这里
- What? - Count Olaf, please, is right here.
这张海报是限♥量♥版拜托
This poster is limited edition, please,
并由本月全城搜寻的主角亲笔签名
and is autographed by the star of this month's manhunt.
你到底是怎么搞到的
How in the world did you manage that?
拜托美丽的女士
Please, pretty lady,
我是个外国人我们有秘密手段
I am foreigner. We have secret ways.
这个人是谁
Who is this man?
杰罗姆我告诉你了甘瑟今天会来
Jerome, I told you Gunther was coming over today,
他说他可能得躲在窗帘后一会
and that he said he might need to hide behind the curtains.
没错
Oh, yes!
很高兴认识你
It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
-你好拜托 -好吧
- Hello, please. - Okay.
希望你们不要介意拜托我的说话方式
I hope you'll forgive, please, the way I am talking,
但我是拜托一个外国人
but I am, please, a foreigner.
很高兴能认识美丽的女士埃斯梅的丈夫
Very nice to meet the husband of pretty lady Esmé
和三个丑陋的孩子
and three hideous children.
"丑陋"是我
Is "hideous" the right word
拜托想说的那个意思吗
for what it is I am please trying to say?
真有外国味真时髦
So foreign, so in.
这就是奥拉夫伯爵我说的不是海报
This is Count Olaf, and I don't mean the poster.
很漂亮吧
Beautiful, no?
看得出来奥拉夫伯爵帅气得就像一匹
I can see that Count Olaf is as handsome as a noble steed
骑在美丽公主身上的骏马
riding on the back of a beautiful princess.
在我遥远的故土我们每周
His legendary handsomeness is celebrated
都有特殊假日来纪念他传奇的帅气拜托
in special weekly holidays in my faraway land, please.
遥远的故土到底在哪里
What faraway land is that exactly?
很遥远
Far away.
我觉得奥拉夫伯爵不会跑得太遥远
I don't think Count Olaf can get very far away.
毕竟法网恢恢
Not with the law closing in.
但想想那对可怜的奎格梅尔双胞胎
But think about the poor poor Quagmire twins
和他们闪耀的蓝宝石
and their sparkly sapphires.
他们不是双胞胎
They're not twins.
如果这个奥拉夫伯爵被认出来关进监狱
If this Count Olaf is somehow recognized and taken to jail,
那人们就永远找不到小奎格们了
the little Quaggies will never be found in their,
他们会在那个你们怎么说的来着
how do you say in your language, super-duper hiding place,
超隐秘的藏身处饿死
and they will starve to death
就像荒岛或素食餐馆中的落难者
like castaways on desert island or vegetarian restaurant,
拜托
please.
我们别再讨论有人被绑♥架♥
Let's not talk about depressing things
这种压抑的事情了
like other people being kidnapped.
我们来讨论我马上要迎来的令人激动的事
Let's talk about exciting things that happening to me,
比如我们在筹办的时髦拍卖♥♥
like the In Auction we're planning.
时髦拍卖♥♥将在最时髦的日子举♥行♥ 也就是明天
The In Auction is happening on the innest day, tomorrow,
在最时髦的拍卖♥♥行凡勃伦礼堂
at the innest auction house, Veblen Hall,
由最时髦的拍卖♥♥师主持
and is being hosted by the innest auctioneer,
这位叫甘瑟的外国男子
this foreign man named Gunther. Just
看看看啊
look, look, look, look.
看看这本耀眼又优雅的名录
Just look at this glossy but classy catalog.
这场拍卖♥♥会将会无比时髦
This auction is going to be so fashionable
甚至会让人心脏病发得荨麻疹
that people are going to have heart attacks and hives.
当然了所有钱都将用于崇高事业
Of course, all the money goes to a good cause.
什么崇高事业
Aw! Which good cause?
-我 -我
- Me. - Me.
每一分钱都将归我
Every last penny goes to me.
对但是还有拍卖♥♥师酬金和杂费
Yes, but there will be auctioneer's fee and incidentals,
-所以...你懂的 -亲爱的
- so... you know. - My darling.
我们不应该把这些钱给需要的人吗
Should...shouldn't we give the proceeds to those who need it?
比如那些我们在报纸上看到的挨饿的人
Perhaps those starving people we were reading about on the paper?
挨饿的人也吃不了钱
Starving people can't eat money.
再说如果我们给穷♥人♥钱
Plus, if we give money to poor people,
他们就不穷了
they won't be poor anymore,
我们就没人好同情了
and we won't have anyone to feel sorry for.
穷♥人♥啊
Aw, poor people.
这提醒了我你们这几个可怜的有钱孤儿
Which reminds me, you poor wealthy orphans,
拜托赶紧走开
go far away, please.
美丽的女士埃斯梅和我要讨论很重大的事
Pretty lady Esmé and I have to talk big fat business.
没错没错没错
Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
杰罗姆现在
Jerome, right now,
我需要你给孩子们换上细条纹西装
I need you to go put the children into pinstripe suits
趁还没人看到他们穿着这些衣服
before anyone sees them in those clothes
毁掉我的人生
and my whole life is ruined.
这边走
Come this way. Okay.
温尼伯公爵夫人就曾住过这间房♥间
Ah, now, the Duchess of Winnipeg once stayed in this very room.
等等不是这间
Wait, no, it was this one.
到底有多少房♥间
How many rooms are there?
71间吧有半数房♥间连我都没去过
Seventy-one, I think. even I don't know what's in half of them.
有一天我进了一间我从来没见过的厨房♥
The other day I found a kitchen I swear I'd never seen before,
蛋卷做得真的非常美味
and the omelet was really good.
你是说这间顶层公♥寓♥有很多地方可藏
So you are saying the penthouse has lots of places to hide.
我喜欢捉迷藏
Oh, I love hide and seek!
但这里太大了
But it's so big,
你们至少第一晚还是一起睡吧
I thought you'd like to bunk together at least for the first tonight.
小孩子能在这个顶层公♥寓♥里迷路好几年呢
Children could get lost in this penthouse for ages.
这是你们的细条纹西装
Now, here's your pinstripe suits.
我去再做几杯马丁尼
I'm going to make another round of martinis
你们三个换衣服吧
while you three change.
真高兴你们来了
I am so glad you're here.
真不敢相信奥拉夫伯爵这么快就找到我们了
I can't believe Count Olaf found us so quickly.
这说明奎格梅尔们就在附近
That means the Quagmires are close.
奥拉夫伯爵说他们近在咫尺
Count Olaf said they were in arm's reach,
因为全城搜寻耽搁了他
because the citywide manhunt forestalled him.
如果他把他们藏在了这个公♥寓♥里呢
What if he's hiding them in this apartment?
杰罗姆说就连他也不知道每个房♥间里都有什么
Jerome said even he doesn't know what's in every room.
而且孩子能在这个顶层公♥寓♥里迷路好几年