雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2017）

A Series of Unfortunate Events S02E02

Part 3 July 20, 2020, 3:02 p.m.

I bet there were other mysteries we never noticed.
-比如小望远镜 -或是一本书
- Like a spyglass. - Or a book.
我们只需要在奥拉夫伯爵手下存活够长的时间
We just need to survive Count Olaf long enough
好找到它们
to find it.
图书管♥理♥员♥说一天后再去问她的
The librarian said to check back in a day or so.
我们等不了那么久了马上就日落了
We don't have a day or so. It's almost sundown.
我来向波德莱尔们传递特别消息
I'm here to deliver a special message to the Baudelaires.
*太阳要落山了万岁*
*The sun is setting, hooray Hooray*
*成吉思教练让我来*
*Coach Genghis sent me here*
*叫波德莱尔孤儿们去运动场*
*to say the Baudelaire orphans go to the field*
*我名字叫卡梅丽塔*
*And my name is Carmelita!*
都不押韵
That doesn't rhyme.
只有穷酸鬼才在乎诗歌♥格式呢
Only cake-sniffers care about poetic form.
杰克·伦敦《生火》文字有改动
他为自己的愚蠢而发笑
"He laughed at his own foolishness.
他笑时发现自己赤♥裸♥的手指已经麻木
As he laughed, he noted the numbness in his bare fingers.
另外他还发现
Also, he noted
他之前坐下时脚趾上的感觉
that the feeling which had first come to his toes when he sat down
已经逐渐消失
was already fading away.
他不知道脚趾是温暖还是麻木了
He wondered whether the toes were warm or numb.
他在鹿皮鞋里动了动脚趾
He moved them inside the moccasins."
是杰克·伦敦吧
Jack London, if I'm not mistaken.
-什么 -你刚背诵的小故事
- What? - The story you were just reciting
是杰克·伦敦的
is by Jack London.
斯尼奇
Snicket?
雅克·斯尼奇有人叫了出租车吗
Jacques Snicket. Did somebody call for a taxi?
标点啊孤儿标点
Punctuation, orphans. Punctuation.
-标点 -就是不迟到的艺术
- Punctuation? - The art of arriving not late.
那叫准时
That's punctuality.
而且你说日落时到所以我们没迟到
And you said to be here at sundown. So we're not actually late.
有趣
That's curious.
刚有人说你们是迟到的[死去的]波德莱尔呢
Someone just referred to you as the late Baudelaires.
或许是说的你们的父母
Maybe they were talking about your parents.
这让我想起了我要跟你们讲的一个故事
That reminds me of a story that I'm gonna tell you.
多年前
Some years ago,
几个富有的孩子来找我寻求帮助
a set of wealthy children came to me, needing my help.
他们有三个人一种一个
There were three of them, one of each.
女孩男孩婴儿
Girl, boy and baby.
"成吉思教练" 他们对我说
"Coach Genghis," They said to me,
"我们是失败者
"We're failures.
我们的父母抛弃了我们
Our parents have abandoned us
去做烧焦的骨架了
for careers as burnt-up skeletons.
我们的生活中就只剩这一袋袋的钱
We have nothing in our lives but all these bags of money,
它们让我们成了读书什么的失败者"
and they're making us failures who read books and stuff."
你知道
And do you know
我对他们说了什么吗
what I told them?
我好像知道你是叫他们站起来吗
I think I know this one. Did you tell them to stand up?
他们本就站着了
They were already standing.
你叫他们实践激励了吗
Did you told them to actualize and incentivize?
那根本毫无意义
That doesn't even mean anything.
我叫他们
I told them
穿上很昂贵的跑鞋
to put on some very expensive running shoes
然后拿着这桶夜光油漆
and then to take this bucket of luminous paint.
"夜光"一词是我发明来描述夜晚发光物体的
"Luminous" is a word I invented for things that glow in the dark.
我们知道"夜光"的意思
We know what "luminous" means.
然后他们要拖着这个桶一圈圈地跑
And then they are to drag this bucket around and around
直到在地上画出一个夜光的圈
until they have made a luminous circle on the ground.
就这样吗
That's it?
是的这就是我的锻炼项目
Yes, that's my exercise program.
天才的点子都很简单
Genius ideas are simple,
就像轮子和神经外科手术
like the wheel or neurosurgery.
孤儿们要跑圈
The orphans will run around and around
一圈圈地跑
and around in a circle
好锻炼他们无父无母的腿脚
to exercise their mother-and father-less legs.
好吧但你要让波德莱尔们做什么
Um, okay, but what are you going to tell the Baudelaires to do?
-我要... -是啊
- What am I... - Yeah.
-是一样的 -什么是一样的
- It's the same. - What's the same?
你不是该去展示你的才华了吗
Isn't it time for your little light to shine?
我需要点时间给琴弓抹松香
Oh, I need a few minutes to rosin my bow.
别当着孩子们的面开黄腔啊
Don't say that in front of the children.
不管你有什么诡计奥拉夫我们都会
Whatever you're up to, Olaf, we will...
我得把书拿去送给小波德莱尔们
The book. I've got to get it to the Baudelaires.
别说话至少等我们先喂你点热巧的
Try not to speak, not at least until we get some hot chocolate in you.
这不是个穷酸鬼
Well, well, if it isn't a cake-sniffer
和他的穷酸朋友吗
and his cake-sniffing friend.
你一定是卡梅丽塔·斯帕茨吧
You must be Carmelita Spats.
你怎么认识我的
How do you know who I am?
我为一个组织工作
I work for an organization
我们关注相关年轻人的动态
that keeps tabs on young people of interest.
我当然是很有趣了
Well, obviously. I'm interesting.
有趣的意义有好多种呢
Interesting can mean a few different things.
圆点西装虽然有趣但没人穿得好看
A polka-dot suit is interesting, but no one looks good in one.
他是我的朋友
This man here is my friend,
我不喜欢有人虐待我的朋友
and I don't appreciate anyone mistreating my friends,
不管他们几岁
no matter what age they are.
对了我认为自己是才会说别人
Oh, and by the way, I believe it takes one to know one.
穷酸鬼
Cake-sniffer.
你替我说话了
You stood up for me.
返校有时是很让人受伤的事朋友
Going back to school can be traumatic, friend.
所以我在出租车里放了条创伤毯子
That's why I keep a trauma blanket in my cab.
我的英雄
My hero.
小奎格梅尔们
Quagmires!
需要我帮你们俩三胞胎做什么
What can I do for you two triplets?
我们知道已经放学了但你找到那本书了吗
We know it's after hours, but were you able to find that book?
抱歉我知道你们急着想拿到它
I'm sorry. I know you're desperate to get your hands on it.
不仅仅是书还有一大堆谜团
It's not just the book. There's a whole mystery.
的确
There certainly is.
我在系统里找不到那本书
I couldn't find the book in our system,
就到处打探了一番
so I poked around.
它不存在于任何系统就像不存在一样
It's not in any system at all. It's like it doesn't exist.
谁这么大胆不去礼堂参加我的演奏会
Who dares not be in the auditorium for my recital?
尼禄副校长孩子们就是有一个
Vice Principal Nero, the children just had a
关于图书馆的问题
question about the library.
图书馆暂时关闭除非另行通知
The library is closed until further notice
这是体育老师的命令
by order of the gym teacher.
他不能关闭图书馆
He can't close the library.
我承认我是该更仔细地看看他的合同
I admit, I should have looked over his contract more closely.
至少该看看
Or at all.
他还将冷库列为了禁区
He's also designated the walk-in freezer as off-limits,
这下我吃不到冰棒了
so there go all my Popsicles.
但这只是临时的
It's only temporary, though,
直到他实现他的孤儿跑步特训
until he gets his Special Orphans Running Exercises
还有什么他想要的东西
and what he wants, something.
快走吧双胞胎
Now get moving, twins.
-我们不是双胞胎 -我们的弟弟奎格里
- We're not twins. - Our brother Quigley...
"弟弟奎格里死在了火灾里" 我知道
"Our brother Quigley died in a fire." I know. I know.
偶尔也找点愉快的话题聊聊吧
Try to work up some pleasant small talk for a change.
继续跑孤儿们跑着奔命吧
Keep running, orphans. Run for your lives.
-我们在干什么 -跑圈吗
- What are we doing? - Uh, running in circles.
这怎么能帮助奥拉夫伯爵偷走我们的财产
How does that help Count Olaf to steal our fortune?
-我不知道 -肯定还会有别的事
- I don't know. - Something else has to happen.
他不可能逼我们跑一晚的圈
There's no way he's gonna make us run laps all night.
我给你带来了五份的黑糖玛奇朵
I brought you a quintuple macchiato
这样你就能整夜逼他们跑圈了
so you can make them run all night.
要我留在这儿陪你吗
You want me stay out here to keep you company?
我知道我有时会感到孤独
I know that I get lonely sometimes.
那你不如不去听听音乐会吧
Why don't you go check out the concert?
好吧
Okay.
没错奥拉夫伯爵来了
That's what I'm saying. Count Olaf is here.
我的伪装被识破了
My disguise was discovered.
图书馆被关了还有个女孩老跳踢踏舞
The library is closed, and there's a girl who keeps tap dancing.