辛普森一家

The Simpsons S31E09

Part 3 Feb. 1, 2020, 1:27 p.m.

and you're all my mental projections?
投射这个吧
Project this!
我肯定很希望这事发生
I must have wanted this to happen!
既然你知道坏孩子是怎么形成的了
So now that you see how bad kids turn out,
你想回家了对吗
you want to go home, right?
别再把我们当反例了
Stop using us as examples!
我觉得你的朋友们都会下地狱
I believe your friends are all going to Hell.
-没错 -太棒了
- Yeah! - Cool!
我听见你们了
I hear you!
为什么那个小笨蛋听到了
What doesn't that little twerp hear?
我不知道但是我听到了
I don't know, but I heard that.
好了他现在听不到我们了
Okay. He can't hear us now.
我能啊
Yes, I can.
你正在解开自己的衬衫辛普森先生
You're unbuttoning your shirt, Mr. Simpson.
这小孩必须走
纸上写的是什么
What does that paper say?
你好托德
Oh. Hi, Todd.
还在寻找开悟吗
Still seeking enlightenment?
我跟你说了现在不行
I told you, not now.
也许当我变成一只蠕虫回来的时候
Maybe I'll reconsider your stupid beliefs
会考虑一下你那愚蠢的信仰
when I come back as a worm.
在佛教里这意味着你快要接受了
In Buddhism, that's halfway to "Yes"!
听着托德你没必要去信这个
Look, Todd, you don't have to believe.
在教堂里只要微笑点头还可以打瞌睡
In church, just smile and nod, but be sleeping on the inside.
这在工作中也有效
That works at work, too.
但是我真的不相信
But I really don't believe.
我妈妈去世之后再也不回来让我很难过
I'm sad because my mommy's gone and never coming back.
你知道心里是什么滋味吗
You know how that feels?
我理解
Oh, do I.
不不要再经历一遍了不要
Oh, no, don't relive it. Don't!
你晚上10点都没回家吃晚饭
You don't come home for dinner till 10:00 at night.
你从来做不出任何值得吃的东西
You never cook anything worth eating.
谁想为一个失败者做饭呢
Well, who wants to cook for a failure?
天呐女人为什么你会嫁给我
Good God, woman, why did you marry me?
为了惹我妈生气而且还见效了
To piss off my mother, and it worked!
告诉孩子我很爱他但是我不善于告别
Tell the kid I love him, but I'm as bad at goodbyes
就像我不擅长选丈夫一样
as I am at picking husbands.
我妈妈离家出走了
My mom is gone.
我的冰激凌也不见了
And so is my ice cream.
我的头发也没了
And so is my hair!
老谋子我要一醉方休快点
Moe, I got to get drunk. And fast.
没妈的孩子
我也来一杯
I'll take one, too.
怎么
What the...?!
我一无所有给我一杯酒
I'm losing everything. Just give me a drink!
抱歉弗兰德斯我不能给你倒酒
I'm sorry, Flanders. I can't pour you a drink.
你人太好了只是我爱莫能助
You're too good. It's just, it's not something I can do.
我求求你了
Please. I'm begging you.
好了二十四美元
Yeah, that's $24.
*内德·弗兰德斯今天喝酒了*
*Ned Flanders is drinking today*
*哈利路亚*
*Allelujah*
*他的儿子误入歧途*
*His son Todd has gone astray*
*哈利路亚*
*Allelujah*
*举起你的酒杯一饮而尽*
*Raise your mug and drink it down*
*哈利路亚*
*Allelujah*
小费
*在这座小镇最差的酒吧*
*In the worst bar in this town*
*哈利路亚*
*Allelujah*
侯默我一直认为
You know, Homer, I always thought
你证明了上帝是存在的
you proved the existence of God.
你从悬崖上摔下来但是人没事
I mean, you fall off cliffs, and you're fit as a fiddle.
那不是吹牛吗
Well, ain't that a diddle!
这就是
So this is what it's like
看不起别人的感觉
to look down on someone.
你知道吗内德也许
You know what, Ned? There may...
也许天堂不存在
there may not be a heaven,
但是和你一起喝醉感觉不是很糟
but getting drunk with you ain't hell.
你太好了
Oh, you're great.
这是一个很棒的开始
This is the beginning of a beautiful...
你撞死了他们
You killed them!
你是我遇到过最差的优步司机
This is the worst Uber ride ever!
我要给你四星了
You're getting four stars.
不
No...!
天堂
欢迎内德
侯默也能来吗
欢迎来到天堂
Welcome to Heaven.
上帝这和我想象中的一样美丽
Oh, Lord. It's just as beautiful as I pictured it.
这是你的想象内德
This is your version, Ned.
侯默也有他的想象
Homer gets his, too.
我不觉得自己投入了很大的精力
So, not like I'm feeling I put in way too much work,
侯默也参与进来了吗
but Homer got in, too?
几年以前懒惰成为了一种美德
Well, a couple of years ago, sloth became a virtue.
我不太明白
I don't really understand it.
你必须和我孩子谈谈
You'd have to talk to my kid.
他三十三岁还宅在家里
He's 33 and still lives at home.
我经历了一些事情好吗
I've been through some stuff, man.
亚伯拉罕·林肯
Abe Lincoln!
你知道斯皮尔伯格
Did you know the picture
那部关于我生平的电影是最卖♥♥座的吗
about my life is Spielberg's biggest movie?
不那《大白鲨》和《侏罗纪公园》系列
No! What about Jaws and E.T., and all the Jurassic...?
我在颁奖礼上表现如何
Well, how did I do in the awards?
-你打败了《逃离德黑兰》 -什么
- You were beaten by Argo. - Argo?!
那是我在影院里看过最糟糕的一部电影
That was the worst experience I ever had in a theater.
你们还有其他人要见
You have other people to see.
-带上通行证 -我们是访客
- Wear these passes. - Visitors?
真奇怪
Hmm, that's odd.
这一定说明你们的躯体还未死去
It must mean that your bodies aren't dead yet.
*我们需要你上帝在上*
*We need you now oh God on high*
*别让愚蠢的弗兰德斯和侯默逝去*
*So stupid Flanders and Homer don't die*
内德·弗兰德斯我向你保证我会倾尽所能
Ned Flanders, I swear to you I will use every ounce of skill
让你起死回生
in my body to bring you back to life.
那侯默怎么办
What about Homer?
顺其自然吧
Mm, que será, será.
天呐他们在聚众祈祷
Oh, my. They're holding a vigil.
看爸爸一生曾经影响过多少人
Look how many, many lives Dad touched.
那是弗兰德斯的祈祷团
That's Flanders' vigil.
爸爸的在那边
Dad's is over there.
祈祷竟然占据了这份工作这么大的比重
Vigils are a surprisingly large part of this job.
噢耶好悲伤
Oh, yeah! So sad!
爸爸的好是要慢慢品味的丽莎
Dad's an acquired taste, Lis,
就像夏威夷比萨一样
like Hawaiian pizza.
爸爸可从来没有因为地域而歧视过披萨
Dad never judged a pizza by where it came from.
他都是先尝了再说
He just ate it.
上帝现在只有你和我了
God, this is just you and me,
所以我要告诉你一个秘密
so I'm gonna tell you a secret.
我爱我的爸爸请不要带走他
I love my dad, so please don't take him.
巴仔你在祈祷什么呢
Bart, what are you praying for?
新单车
New bike.
你真的不想为了你♥爸♥爸祈祷吗
Are you sure you don't want to pray for your dad?
我没法祈祷
I can't pray.
没人听得到我的祈祷
I don't think anyone's listening anymore.
亲爱的祈祷不一定要上帝听到
Oh, sweetie, prayer doesn't have to be to God.
也可以是我们与自己之间的
It can also just be an honest conversation
诚实的对话
we have with ourselves.
听从你的内心
Just do what your heart tells you.
我不知道现在是什么情况
Oh, I'm not really sure what's happening,
但我很难过我需要帮助
but I'm really sad, and I need help.
亲爱的上帝
救救我爸爸
抄送:耶稣
以防万一也抄送给佛陀
*欢呼吧雀跃吧*
*Rejoice, rejoice*
*在这春田镇*
*O Springfield town*
*因为在天之灵*
*'Cause what goes up*
*会回到凡间*