辛普森一家

The Simpsons S31E16

Part 3 May 26, 2020, 8:24 a.m.

Okay, but first I got to ask: Are you sleeping with my mom?!
没有
No.
你是第一个说这话的人
No one's ever said that!
这就是我们的蓝图孩子们
That's what we're going for, boys.
不敢相信我们竟是骄傲巡游中的一员
I can't believe we're gonna be in the pride parade.
基♥督♥教♥徒♥的骄傲
Christian pride.
基♥督♥教♥徒♥终于可以公开展示信仰了
Finally, Christians can openly show our faith.
我们确定我们纯洁
We're sure! We're pure!
习惯就好
Get used to it!
巴仔
Hey, Bart.
快看我教会谁骑车了
Look who I taught how to ride a bike.
内尔森本来就会骑车
Nelson already knew how to ride a bike.
对但他不会发出酷炫的摩托车的声音
Yeah, but he didn't know how to make cool motorcycle noises.
我来帮你骑上去
Uh, let me help you back on your hog.
我和内尔森可亲了大家都叫我们"侯默森"
Me and Nelson are so close, people are calling us "Homeson."
侯默森出发
Homeson away!
侯默森
Homeson!
妈你看见没有
Mom, are you seeing all this?
-看见了 -你要做什么吗
- Yes. - Are you gonna do anything?
-不做 -为什么
- No. - Why not?
这次情况很复杂
This is a complicated one.
两个男孩都受到了帮助
Both boys are being helped.
我要说的是该给阿麦换衣服了
What I'm trying to say is it's time to change Maggie.
你在哪里我的小借口
Where are you, my little excuse?
抱歉
Sorry!
爸你到底在教内尔森什么
Dad, what exactly are you teaching Nelson?
存钱入户
Banking.
瞄准成功
Aiming for success.
打入音乐圈
And breaking into the music industry.
给你40块
Here's $40.
对我来说不是小钱
That's a lot of money to me.
但我希望你能做个疗程看看你做的事
But I want you to get some therapy about what you're doing.
40块钱的疗程这就来
40 bucks' worth of therapy coming up.
我说的是持证理疗师
From a licensed therapist.
老谋子的确有贩酒执照
Moe has a liquor license.
对我们就别讨论这个了
Yeah, let's not discuss that too much.
钱拿去吃点药
Take the money. Get some help.
你干嘛这么做
Why are you doing this?
爸我必须充当道德之声
Dad, I have to be the voice of morality.
才不是
No, you don't.
我很喜欢当道德之声
Well, I like being the voice of morality.
我很喜欢相信这角色没有限定我人设
And I like believing this role has not typecast me!
我还是可以演莎翁作品的
I can still do Shakespeare!
发光的未必都是美味达福液体金
All that glitters is not delicious Duff Gold!
原梗出自《威尼斯商人》所引用俗语
尿尿还是憋死
To pee or not to pee!
原梗出自《哈姆雷特》
To be or not to be, that's a question.
这毫无疑问
There is no question!
不
Oh, no!
抱歉我得尿尿去
Excuse me. Got to pee.
疗程或尾气检查
两者都不用可免费停车
医生我现在都明白了
Doc, I see it all so clearly now.
我害怕成功是因为我父亲从来没时间陪我
I'm afraid of success because my father never had time for me.
-意味着 -时间到
- Which means... - Time's up.
-再说两分钟 -没什么突破
- But two more minutes... - It's not a breakthrough.
现在我比来的时候感觉还糟
Ah, now I feel worse than when I came in.
下个月见
See you next month.
好了 40块你能说十分钟开始
Okay. 40 bucks gets you ten minutes. Go!
我想让自家儿子嫉妒就去辅♥导♥别的孩子
I was mentoring another kid to make my son jealous,
然后发生了奇怪的事
and something weird happened.
我真的喜欢上那小东西了
I'm actually starting to like the little dingus.
帮帮我
Help me.
我真是惊恐万分
I am appalled!
只因为你那可怜的自尊心
You are ruining two boys' lives
就去毁掉两个男孩的生活
for your own petty ego.
让我告诉你优秀的心理医生会怎么说
Let me tell you what a good therapist says.
他们会说 "你做什么都是对的"
A good therapist says, "Whatever you do is right"!
对有钱人才那么说
That's only if you're rich.
导师来啦
Mentor entering!
侯默小甜心
Hey, Homer, honey.
来跟妈妈温存一会
Come on, spend a minute with Mama.
听着女士我可没兴趣...
Look, lady, I'm not interested in...
-什么鬼 -我懂你的
- What the...? - I know.
你跟我儿子在一起
You're just spending time with my son
只是为了让你儿子嫉妒
to make your son jealous.
迟早你会离开他的就像其他人一样
Sooner or later, you're gonna leave him, like all the rest.
那会让他心碎的
And it'll break his heart.
我又不是来拯救世界的
Hey, I'm not here to save the world.
我只是个导师来了就教教完就走
I'm a mentor. I come in, I ment, then I go.
把真♥相♥告诉他
Tell that boy the truth.
孩子我们得谈谈
Son, we need to talk.
不不要我知道结局会怎么样
No. No. I know where this goes.
谈到最后你扔下个555开头的电♥话♥号♥码
It ends with you giving me a phone number
转身就走了
that starts with 555.
不等等
No! Wait!
你还有什么可说的
What do you have to say?
我教导你
I was only mentoring you
只是为了惩罚我儿子变得如此优秀
to punish my son for becoming a better boy.
-我就知道 -你要去哪
- I knew it! - Where are you going?
我要去报复你留不下你的人
I'm gonna get even. I can't make you stay,
我就去找你的孩子撒气
but I can take it out on your kid.
别害巴仔我真心爱他
Not Bart! I do love him!
报复屋
学徒的复仇
啊哈哈哈
基♥督♥徒骄傲游♥行♥
提示骄傲是罪孽
我们是基♥督♥徒我们骄傲
We're Christians! We're proud!
但别大声嚷嚷
But don't say it too loud.
手拉着手传递神的旨意
Holding hands are holy hands.
真恶心你抹护手霜了吗
Ew. Are you wearing lotion?
我的手干裂了
I'm very chappy.
纯洁的牧师
面包和鱼[谋求私利] 算命半仙
投票给上帝和昆毕镇长
祈祷之手
游♥行♥高♥潮♥
投票给上帝和昆毕镇长
欢迎各位基♥督♥徒
Uh, welcome, er, uh, Christians.
上帝愿感谢我们的合作赞助人
God is pleased to thank our corporate sponsor,
查·蒙哥马利·伯恩斯
C. Montgomery Burns.
你怎么不去死呢
Why won't you die?
伯恩斯先生稍后会回答问题
Mr. Burns will take questions later.
多亏这次壮丽的游♥行♥
Er, uh, thanks to this magnificent parade,
你们这些右翼蠢货会让我永远连任
you right-wing ding-dongs will keep me in office forever.
犹太人爱耶稣无神论行不通
现在到了这华丽游♥行♥的精彩高♥潮♥
And now, at the spectacular culmination of the parade,
投票给上帝和昆毕镇长
随着最后一辆彩车驶过终点
when the final float has safely cleared the route,
一双巨大的祈祷之手
a giant pair of praying hands
会从街道两旁合十
will swing from the sides of the street
殉道者打地鼠
构成神圣的祈祷之姿
and come together in holy union.
犹太人爱耶稣无神论行不通
祈祷之手
游♥行♥高♥潮♥
他想挤死巴仔
He's gonna crush Bart!
弗兰德斯去哪了
Where's Flanders now?
我在这你有啥事
Right here. What do you need?
离我远点
Get away from me!
气球荆棘王冠
非基♥督♥徒科学监测
医生可通过病症检测信仰
不要啊
No...!
你好爸爸
Hi, Dad.
儿子一起乘救护车吗
Son, you want to ride in the ambulance together?
好啊这可是咱俩的老传统了
Aw. That's always been our thing.
-爸爸 -怎么了儿子
- Dad? - Yes, son?
能让我吸一口氧气吗
Can I have a hit off your oxygen?
当然
Of course.
我真是个好爸爸
I'm a great dad.