辛普森一家
The Simpsons S31E17
Part 1
May 26, 2020, 8:24 a.m.
辛普森一家
第三十一季 第十七集
超前教育中心
来吧 阿麦
Come on, Maggie.
你好 不好意思我们迟到了
Hi. Sorry we're late.
这是阿麦 我们第一次来
This is Maggie. We're here for our first day.
你好阿麦 之后谁来接呢
Hello, Maggie. And who will be picking her up?
什么 她倒下之后吗
W-- A-After she falls down?
不是 放学之后
No, at the end of the day.
慢着 我不能陪读吗
Wait, I don't stay with her?
研究表明超前儿童
Research shows pre-toddlers learn best
在没有家长在场的情况下学得最好
in a parent-free environment.
除非你想阻碍她成长 那也很好
Unless you want to stunt her growth, which is great.
我们不能评判的
We're not supposed to judge.
不不 不是这样的
No, no, it's not that.
我只是不想阿麦觉得自己被抛弃了
I just don't want Maggie to feel abandoned.
那四点见了
So, we'll see you at 4:00.
好吧
Oh. Okay, then.
今天接下来我该干什么呢
Hmm. Now what will I do with the rest of my day
我知道了 我问问最爱的妈咪博客
I know. I'll ask my favorite mommy blog.
这就对了妈咪
照顾好你自己
上一节动感单车课吧
老妹儿
现在把阻力加到最大
Now turn that resistance all the way up!
加把劲 我想看你们这帮臭女人受苦受累
Come on! I want to see you bitches suffer!
难道只有我一个人听到这句话了
Am I the only one who heard that?
我爱死了
I love it.
就好像听着脑海里的声音接受训练
It's like being coached by the voice inside my head.
往死里练 你们这群活在陆地上的海牛
Spin yourselves to death, you land manatees!
用陶艺来表达你一无是处的自我吧
卖♥♥力画 长着香肠手指的没用东西
Paint harder, you sausage-fingered no-talents!
给你工作中的男人一个香艳惊喜
"给你工作中的男人一个香艳惊喜"
"Sex-prise your man at work."
你来干嘛
What are you doing here?
也许你可以给我来个安全检查
Maybe you could give me a safety inspection.
我的天 我真是不敢相信
Oh, my God, I can't believe this is happening.
我完全被香艳惊喜到了
I'm so sex-prised!
这里到处都有摄像头
There's security cameras everywhere,
所以我们得偷偷地躲在桌子下
so we'll have to snuggle under the desk.
请直接在桌子上
On top of the desk, please.
谢了杰瑞 干得真漂亮
Thanks, Jerry! Nice. Real cool.
现在我该怎么打发时间
Now how do I fill the day? Hmm.
很好&非常好
正在招聘
什么是很好加非常好
What's Well Plus Good?
应该念很好&非常好
It's pronounced "Well and Good."
怎么每个人都在跟我说话
Ugh, why is everyone talking to me?
如果这些人都想在这里工作
Well, if all these people want to work here,
也许我也想在这里工作
maybe I want to work here.
很好&非常好 正在招聘
去七号♥平板那里
All right, go to tablet seven
拿你的预申请道德评价表
to take your pre-application ethics assessment.
顺便 头发挺酷
Cool hair, by the way.
你觉得我头发很酷
You think that my hair is cool?
谢谢 劳伦
Well, thank you, Lauren.
顺便 你的名牌颠倒了
Oh, by the way, your name tag is upside down.
谢谢
Mm, thank you.
你是唯一一个注意到的人
You're the only person to mention that.
妈妈的气场 她简直完美
Major mom vibes. She's perfect.
我永远不会撒谎
"I always never lie."
预申请道德评估
"我从不撒谎"
1)总是
2)有时
3)从不
选二 我有时从不撒谎
Two. "I sometimes always never lie."
预申请道德评估
如果我从未找到一个钱包 我一定会还回去
1)总是
2)从不
3)以上一些
4)总是从不
如果我从未找到一个钱包 我一定会还回去
"If I never found a wallet, I would always give it back."
这钱包是什么颜色的
What color is the wallet?
马姬·辛普森 其实并没有什么测试
Marge Simpson. There was never a test.
除非这一直都是测试
Except there always was.
-没有吗 -而且你通过了
- There wasn't? - And you passed.
欢迎来到很好&非常好大家庭
Welcome to the Well and Good family.
其他人可以走了 你们的简历将被删除
The rest of you can go. Your résumés will be deleted.
我是你们唯一雇用的人吗
I'm the only one you hired?
你是唯一一个和我们合伙的人
You're the only one we partnered with.
很好&非常好
盛大开幕
好了 现在我在这工作了
Okay, so I work here now.
还没问我们卖♥♥什么
I never asked what we sell.
我可以搞清楚
I can figure this out.
糖果 爆♥炸♥浴盐 喷灯
Candy? Bath bombs? Blowtorches?
30块一瓶的苏打水
$30 bottles of soda?
不好意思
Excuse me.
你建议我买♥♥酊剂还是油
Do you recommend the tincture or the oil?
我...我猜酊剂可能更贵吧
I-- the-the tincture is more expensive, I guess.
这事关你自己
Look, this is about you.
我觉得 要照顾好你自己
And taking care of you. I think.
所以你要把自己...放在第一位
So you have to put yourself... first?
你朴实无华略显笨拙的销♥售♥策略
Well, your no-frills, fumbling sales pitch
已经打动了我 我两种都买♥♥
has won me over. I'll take both. Yes...
姑娘 你刚刚卖♥♥出了一百块
Wow, girl, you just made a hundred-dollar sale.
你一定非常适合这里
You're gonna fit in great here.
问题是 这里卖♥♥什么
Thing is, what does here sell?
现在要玩RadioShack那一套吗
Is this what RadioShack is now?
不 我们是一家高端大♥麻♥精品店
No. We're a high-end cannabis boutique.
你们卖♥♥大♥麻♥
You sell pot?!
准确地说 我负责检查身份证
Technically, I check I.D.s.
你卖♥♥大♥麻♥
You sell pot.
我是个毒贩子
I'm a drugs dealer!
现在在本州 大♥麻♥已经合法了
Cannabis is legal in this state now.
水橇也合法
Well, so is water-skiing,
但这并不意味着我就要去卖♥♥它
but that doesn't mean I have to sell it!
抱歉
I'm sorry.
马姬 不要离开 我是认真的
Marge, don't leave, seriously.
我请求你
Like, I'm asking.
德里克·塔图姆 我有你的台面式烤架
Drederick Tatum! I own your countertop grill.
尽量不要在不粘表面上使用金属器具
Take care not to use metal utensils on the non-stick surfaces.
但是 在我的拳击生涯结束之后
But anyway, after my boxing career ended,
我非常痛苦
I was in a lot of pain.
具体地讲 痛在我出拳的手
Specifically, in my punching hands
还有我被拳击的脸
and my blocking face.
但是服用了大♥麻♥油
But following a regimen of CBD oil
以及皮卡丘烟枪的药效
and medicinal hits from a Pikachu bong,
我又能够享受生活了
I was able to enjoy life again.
因此激励了我创立了很好&非常好康复商场
Which inspired me to create Well and Good Healing Emporiums.
电影里的切齐和钟才吸大♥麻♥呢
But pot is for Cheeches... and Chongs.
马姬 这不是为了爽
Marge, it's not about getting high.
这关系到人们的身心健康
It's about wellness.
这就是为什么我在这里聘用了优秀的团队
And that's why I've hand-picked the perfect team here.
我是大♥麻♥成分和最新配售系统的专家
I'm an expert in cannabinoids and cutting-edge delivery systems,
又叫浸煮器 脱羧基 皮下吸收和宠物栓剂
aka infusers, decarboxylators, transdermals and pet suppositories.
而我很性感
And I'm super hot.
你们要我做什么
And what do you need me for?
马姬 大家知道你想伸出援手 这里很安全
Marge, people know you want to help them, that it's safe here.
1980年上映的美国喜剧电影
你之前说 不像《喜剧二人组》里的情节
Not some place for Cheeches and Chongs, as you so recently put it.
非常抱歉 我不认为这是真实的自我
Uh, I'm sorry. I don't think this is really me.
祝你的生活方式好运
Good luck with your lifestyle.
没有治疗感情受伤的药物真遗憾
Oh, it's a shame there's no drug for hurt feelings.
在这里呢
Oh, wait, there totally is.
伤感情药品
你知道吗 在一些家庭里他们围坐在一起
You know, in some families, they go around the table
每人都要说一件当天的见闻
and everyone says one thing they learned that day.
我知道了这个
Okay. I learned that.
我知道了前重量级拳击手世界冠军
Well, I learned that the former heavyweight champion
拥有一家大♥麻♥商店
of the world owns a marijuana store.
他提供给我一份工作 被我回绝了
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