辛普森一家
The Simpsons S31E06
Part 1
Nov. 16, 2019, 11:04 a.m.
怎么 太早了
What, too soon?
停下
Avast there.
现在变道太晚了 亲们
It be too late to alter course, matey.
每个小海湾里都有海盗等着
And there be pirates lurking in every cove.
快点开吧
Get to the ride.
他们拍照了吗
Did they get a picture?
欢迎来到我们首届由学生创作的
Welcome to our first-ever night of dramatic scenes
戏剧之夜
written by our students.
我们应该把手♥机♥和呼机静音吗
Should we silence our cell phones and pagers?
不不不 拜托就开着吧
No, no, no, please, I beg you, leave them on.
这里有些可以吃的糖果
An-And here-here's some candy to unwrap.
现在有请他们表演CW台《河谷镇》新剧情
And now, an new scene from the CW's Riverdale.
猪头 老爹快餐店有一起谋杀案
Jughead, there's been a murder at Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe
只有小孩才能解决
and it's up to us kids to solve it.
我现在没法管这件事
I can't deal with that right now.
我老爸在监狱里 唯一能把他弄出来的办法
My dad's in jail and the only way to get him out
就是下药
is to try drugs.
我们都有了穆斯的宝宝
We're both pregnant with Big Moose's babies.
春田小学
慢着 所以这出戏是基于
Wait. So this is a play based on a YouTube
一个小孩打电子游戏的油管视频
of kids playing a video game?
-没错 -终于
- That's right. - It's about time.
想拿到他们的能量饮料[堡垒之夜道具]
Okay, to get their chug jugs,
我可以把他们一个个狙击掉
I could snipe these guys out one by one,
但更聪明的做法
but the smarter move is to plant a charge
是在他们攻击平台的底部放一个炸♥药♥
at the base of their attack platform
等他们一着陆就炸上天
and skull-splat 'em when they land.
朋友们 如果你们了解更多游戏技巧
Hey, guys, if you want more game hacks like this,
请给我们点赞并订阅我们的频道
be sure to smash our like button and subscribe to our channel.
订阅
接下来 夜晚模式的失败集锦
Up next, night vision fails.
这怎么能算一部戏
How is this a play?
先生 电子游戏通关直播
Well, sir, video game walk-throughs
是这些孩子能接触的最有叙事性的东西
are the only narrative most of these kids have been exposed to.
-这是他们的贝克特[大主教] -谁
- This is their Becket. - Who?
蒙面歌♥王
你是特里·布莱德肖吗
Are you Terry Bradshaw?
不 是唐尼·奥斯蒙
No. It's, uh, Donny Osmond.
伯纳 《成长的烦恼》里的伯纳
Boner. Boner from Growing Pains.
你们都错了 我真正的身份是
You're all wrong. My real identity is...
弗拉沃尔·弗拉维
Flavor Flav!
弗拉沃尔·弗拉维 我听说过你
Flavor Flav? I've heard of you.
我经常听说你
I've heard of you so much.
我超爱你的电影 书 或是音乐
I am such a huge fan of your movies, books, or music.
我也能装的很吃惊
I can also pretend to be impressed.
剧终
The end.
醒醒 下一个就是丽莎
Wake up. Lisa's next.
别啊 我在做美梦呢
Oh, no, please. I'm having the best dream.
我在自己温暖舒适的坟墓里
I was in my warm, cozy grave.
我要梦到自己在柔软可爱的棺材里
Well, I'm gonna dream about me in a soft, cuddly crypt.
令人惊奇的是 接下来的作品并非基于
Amazingly, this next piece is not based on something
你在手♥机♥或加油泵上看到的东西
you watch on your phone or a gas pump,
而是一部实实在在地地道道的戏剧
but is actually an honest-to-goodness play,
由丽莎·感谢上帝你回来了·辛普森带来
by Lisa "Thank God You're a Throwback" Simpson.
请欣赏
And so I give you
《与淡啤酒度过的漫长一天》
Long Day's Journey Into Light Beer.
我的啤酒呢 马娇丽
Where's my beer, Marjorie?
我花了一天时间确保这啤酒是冷的
I spent all day making sure this beer was cold.
我做错了选择
Aah! I make bad choices.
丽莎学希伯特一家不要太像
Lisa's really nailed the Hibberts.
老兄 我的口头禅
Uh, yo, dude, my catchphrases
跟我的弹弓一样过时
are as outdated as my slingshot.
我的天哪
Ay, caramba!
妈妈 做一个不仅有社会道德心
Oh, Mom, it's so hard being a straight-A student
还能写很棒的戏剧的好学生真难
with a social conscience who writes amazing plays.
这个家里唯一可靠的就是你
The only stable thing in this house is you,
你让每天都跟昨天一样
making every day the same as the last.
完全一样
Exactly the same.
就跟咖啡机说的一样
Like the coffee maker says,
振作精神
things will perk up.
我以为是你做的咖啡
I thought you were the coffee maker.
你可以从咖啡渗滤壶身上学到很多
You can learn a lot from percolators.
珍惜每天每分每秒
Make the most of the daily grind.
妈妈这个角色真是令人犯困
The mother character is such a snooze.
拉尔夫根本不能跟她形成冲突
Ralph has nothing to play against.
他们觉得我无聊
They think I'm boring.
这出戏是有关我们家的
This play is about us!
今天我决定做一个赛车手
Today I decided to be a race car driver,
于是我去了 然后我又不去了
so I was, then I quit.
我也有令人激动的消息
I also have exciting news.
我把四块小肥皂屑
I converted four soap slivers
融化成了一块新肥皂
into practically a new bar.
这个世界就是这么看我的吗
Is this how the world sees me-- as a...
现在的孩子怎么说没劲
How do the kids say lame these days?
我们说没劲儿 你真没劲儿
We say lame-o, you lame-o.
吸吸 我感觉像是迷雾里的
Suck, suck. And I felt like the ghost
一个鬼魂
belonging to the fog.
迷雾就是鬼魂的海洋
And the fog was the ghost of the sea.
吸吸
Suck, suck.
你真的觉得我那么无聊吗
You really think I'm that boring?
丽莎 你让别人感到不开心了
Lisa, you made someone feel sad,
这可不是家庭剧该造成的结局
which is not what a drama about a family is supposed to do.
马姬 能合张影吗
Marge, could we get a picture?
好的
Okay.
春田第一教堂
现在有泡过黄瓜的洗礼盆
所以世世代代
So all the generations...
无聊 他们觉得我无聊
Boring. They think I'm boring.
我要让他们看看谁才无聊
I'll show them who's boring.
今早 马姬·辛普森强烈自愿前来
Now, this morning, Marge Simpson has insistently volunteered
读一段
to read a passage.
她说她将融入自己的理解
She says she's gonna bring her own spin to it.
现在来读一段《约翰福音》 18章38节
Now, a reading from John, 18:38,
庞修斯·彼拉多和耶稣之间的对话
between Pontius Pilate and Jesus.
马姬 马姬 马姬
Marge! Marge! Marge!
天呀 耶稣
Hey-a Jesus,
你怎么个回事
what's a matter for you?
你说你是个国王
You saying youse a king?
他是个罗马人 所以我才用这种口音
He was Roman, that's why I'm doing the accent.
总之 耶稣回答 我觉得耶稣应该
Anyhoo, Jesus answered, and I think it might have gone
差不多长这样
something like this.
我不是国王 我是个木匠
I'm not a king, I'm a carpenter.
一个犹太木匠
A Jewish carpenter.
我唯一能搞定的就是美国大学入学考试
The only thing I nail are my SATs.
然后 庞修斯对老者说
So then, Pontius says to the elders,
这个是个耶稣 他看起来是个好人
"This-a Jesus, he-a look like a nice-a guy."
没人像这个样子讲话
Nobody talk-a like-a that.
我能说一句流畅的话
I make a nice-a sentence.
就像妈妈之前教的一样
Just like-a Mama used to construct.
我们能听勒弗乔伊布道吗
Can we just hear Lovejoy's sermon, please?
对 马姬 有点眼力见
Yeah, Marge, read the room.
你比我们更需要这些 女士
You need this more than we do, lady.
无聊 一个全优的女童子军
Boring. That's what this straight-A Girl Scout
变成了这样 无聊
has become-- boring.
你刚刚在鬼门关走了一遭
You just had a near-death experience.
真让人兴奋
That's exciting.
你的人生真是精彩 妈妈
What a rich life you lead, Mom.
我要去睡了
I'm going to bed.
这真的会改变你无聊的名声
That will really turn around your boring reputation.
别担心 侯默 我去砍木头
Don't worry, Homer, I'll chop the wood.
像往常一样
Like always.
什么都要我做
I have to do everything.
树都要我砍
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
剧集 | 辛普森一家 | 导航列表