辛普森一家
The Simpsons S31E09
Part 1
Feb. 1, 2020, 1:27 p.m.
辛普森一家
第三十一季 第九集
弗兰德斯一家
现在归迪士尼了
没事做的手是恶魔的工具
给灵魂的白面包
流浪汉食品供应站
没沙发了孩子们 我送给穷♥人♥了
No couch, boys. I gave it to the poor.
内德 内德
Neddy? Neddy.
茉德 你回来了
Oh, Maude, you've come back.
穿的整整齐齐 还摸不着
Completely clothed and untouchable.
这是我做过的最性感的梦
This is the sexiest dream I've ever had.
等等 茉德
Wait, Maudie.
啵一个嘛
Just one little kiss.
只亲舌头不沾嘴唇
All tongue, no lips.
跟茉德一样
Just like Maude.
粑粑 你哭啥
Daddy, why are you crying?
给胡子浇浇水而已
Oh, just watering the old lip lawn.
我做了一个关于你妈妈的梦
I had a dream about your mom.
你梦见过她吗
Don't you ever dream about her?
快点 麻麻 快点
Faster, Mommy, faster.
怎么了 托德
What's wrong, Todd?
我再也忘不了了
I can never unsee that.
没事的儿子 噩梦而已
It's okay, son. Just a bad dream.
想喝点温开水吗
Want some lukewarm water?
爸爸 我记不得妈妈长什么样了
Daddy, I can't remember what Mommy looks like.
我想我有一两段你妈妈的视频
I think I might have a video or two of your mother.
怎么了
What's wrong?
我在按妈妈的美容旧法敷面膜
I'm doing Mommy's old skin routine.
这是个悲伤的好办法
Now, that's the healthy way to grieve.
跟茉德 罗德 托德过圣诞
跟内德过新年
耶稣宝宝 耶稣少年 耶稣本人
我怕怕
I'm scared.
我对你有信心
Well, I have faith in you.
你们是谁
Who are you people,
你们对我家人做了什么
and what have you done with my family?
回答我
Answer me!
老爹 我们每次叫你给车道铲雪
Oh, Dad, every time we make you shovel the driveway,
你总能去什么可怕的地方
you wind up someplace crazy.
跟我们一起吃晚饭吧
Won't you join us for dinner?
他肯定来
He sure will.
我明天来接他
I'll pick him up tomorrow.
麻麻人这么好
Mommy was so nice.
她现在还是一样好 罗德托德
And she still is, Roddily Doddily.
你怎么知道 你有她消息吗
How do you know? Have you heard from her?
没有
Oh, uh, n-no, sir.
但是信仰就是无凭无据地去相信
But, uh, faith is believing in something without proof.
你看不见我胡子下面的嘴唇
Uh, you can't see my lip below my mustache,
但你知道它在那儿
but you know it's there.
-我能看看吗 -不能
- Can I see it? - No.
我数学老师说
My math teacher said
无凭无据地相信是很疯狂的
believing in something without proof is crazy.
你觉得约瑟夫的彩衣是疯狂的
You think the coat of many colors was crazy?
诺亚方舟和圣灵是疯狂的
Noah's ark and the Holy Ghost, crazy?
别跟我说你在质疑先知巴兰
Don't tell me you're doubting Balaam's talking ass.
麻麻 如果你还记得我 给我点暗示
Mommy, if you still remember me, give me a sign.
我是侯默·辛普森
This is Homer Simpson auditioning
我正在参选世界空气吉他锦标赛
for the air guitar championship of the world.
我要打败你 比昂·特拉克
I'm taking you down, Bjorn Turoque.
春田第一教堂
上帝无处不在
但他要你
一周一次必须出现在这儿
*赞美上帝*
*Praise God from whom*
*万事如意*
*All blessings flow*
*赞美上帝*
*Praise God*
*是时候离开*
*It's almost time to go*
*这无聊的布道*
*This boring sermon*
*得马上停止*
*Must end soon*
*竞技场足球赛*
*Arena football's*
*正午开球*
*On at noon*
献给垃圾球迷的垃圾足球赛
就为那一个简单的理由 我们是对的
And for that simple reason, we are right
主教派是错错错的
and Episcopalians are wrong, wrong, wrong.
现在我得有请
Now I'd like to invite
我们教区最小的教♥徒♥上前来
our littlest parishioners to the front.
葛蒂 来点旅行音乐吧
Gertie, a little traveling music, please?
我们会尽快把她换成斯波蒂菲
Soon as we can, we're replacing her with Spotify.
我要吃掉中♥央♥C键
I'm taking middle C.
祝福小小我街道
告诉我 年幼的基♥督♥徒们
So, tell me, young Christians,
如果你可以跟耶稣宝宝对话
if you could speak to Baby Jesus,
你会说什么
what would you say?
我会说谢谢你出生
I'd say thank you for being born,
给我们带来了圣诞节
'cause that gave us Christmas.
萌死了
Mmm, I'm killing it.
拉尔夫 你会说什么
Ralph, what would you say?
我会说 "耶稣宝宝
I'd say, "Baby Jesus,
谢谢你为我们的罪恶死去"
thank you for dying for our shins."
你呢托德 你会说什么
And you, Todd? What would you say?
我哭到失声了
I lost my voice from crying.
小伙子振作起来
Oh, come on, young man.
你离我更近
You're my closer.
你会对耶稣说什么
What would you say to Jesus?
我会说
I'd say...
感谢你什么都没做
thanks for nothing!
我妈妈死了 永远都回不来了
My mommy's dead and she's never coming back,
我再也不相信上帝了
and I don't believe in God anymore.
不 不
No. No!
谢天谢地这些收集篮是空的
Thank God these collection baskets were empty.
不用谢
You're welcome.
*我们的小托德出了大问题*
*A mighty problem is our Todd*
*他对上帝的信仰*
*His faith in God*
*正在瓦解*
*Is failing*
*侯默意外地害死了他的妈妈*
*Homer accidentally killed his mom*
*他把她撞下篱笆*
*He knocked her off a railing*
儿子 我来温柔地跟你说一下
Now, son, let me put this gently.
我们都要下地狱了
We're all going to hell!
你在上帝自己的房♥子里打开了质疑的大门
You opened a doorway to disbelief in God's own house!
上帝为什么需要这么多房♥子
Why does God need so many houses?
不能捐一些给穷♥人♥吗
Couldn't some go to poor people?
你给我打住 小子
You just stop right there, boy.
不许你质疑
You do not question
上帝持有的不动产和免税状况
God's real estate holdings and tax-free status.
我要去撒撒气
I have to let off a little steam.
呸 呸 呸
Shucks! Shucks! Shucks!
说脏话罐
冲动想法罐
裤子抽太紧罐
乱糟糟的胡子罐
好了 年轻人 我要去和教父视频了
That's it. Young man, I am FaceTiming the reverend.
牧师手♥机♥
牧师家
牧师湖边小屋
牧师办公室
牧师姐姐家
牧师训练室
牧师兼泌尿科医生
勒弗乔伊神父
神父
Reverend,
我知道你讨厌我打扰你
I know you hate it when I bother you.
没事的 没事的
It's okay. It's okay.
我在我女儿的芭蕾表演会上
I'm at my daughter's ballet recital.
她表现得好吗
Oh, is she good?
讲真的 他们有一个是好的吗
Seriously, are any of them good?
神父 就像红海里的法老军队一样
Reverend, like the pharaoh's army in the Red Sea,
法老军队在追捕以色列人过程中被红海淹没
我不知道该怎么办了
I'm in over my head.
我的异教♥徒♥儿子现在就需要你
My heathen son needs you right now.
抱歉 我得挂了
Oh, sorry, got to go.
我要去为芭蕾舞演出
I have to read the last rites...
做最后的祈祷
for the art of ballet.
主 请彻底地惩罚我的儿子吧
Lord, please punish my boy thoroughly
也许他就会再次相信你神圣的仁慈之心
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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